Work Text:
Who sleepwalks through your dreams into walls
The first time Dean sees Cas after the apocalypse, it's in a dream. They don't say anything and then again they don't have to. Dean sits in a chair and silently laughs to himself when Cas accidentally walks into a wall before he takes a seat next to him. Some things never change.
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore
The next time happens in real time. When Dean opens the door to the impala he looks down at Cas who is sitting still in jeans and a t-shirt that Dean's wore more times than he can count. He doesn't embark on it. Doesn't mention how Dean wears a suit now. Just gets what he came for and walks away.
Oh even that couldn't make me go back
"Why are you here?" Dean asks one night when Lisa and Ben are asleep. Cas had been there for a few days and has not left yet. He ignores the question.
"Heaven isn't what it used to be for me."
Dean sneers at him. "What, is Paradise not good enough for you?"
Cas sighs and closes his eyes. "They could return every brother I've lost and it's still not enough to keep me there."
Well my baby went to Illinois with some bad talking boy she could destroy
Jimmy is with his family back in Pontiac. Apparently. Dean doesn't understand how they cloned him but Heaven usually does things that Dean doesn't understand.
When you got nothing you got nothing to lose
"I don’t know why you're here, Cas. There's nothing here for you," he lies. Cas just closes his eyes again and he really needs to stop doing that.
"Then I have nothing to lose by being here."
Remind him what he used to be when he comes walking through
"I wasn't aware you angels had so much free time on your hands." Cas takes a deep breath but doesn't disappear. That's a first. Dean still walks away. He's still an angel and nothing is going to change that.
****************
Tell me we aren't worse off than they think we are
Castiel fixes Dean's tie just before he goes to work one day. "They tell me you love her. They tell me I'm wasting my time," he doesn't say anything else as he watches Dean go to work. His eyes say something else. His eyes say 'tell me they're wrong'
You were my first love and you will be my last
"I've never loved another before you," and all Dean heard was "And I will never after."
I believe in you even though I be outnumbered
"You'll do the right thing," Cas promises with conviction. "You'll fix us. I believe in you even when you don't believe in yourself." Always one with the inspirational speeches, that Castiel.
He's the property of Jesus
Dean knows it's a sin to covet, but it's probably magnified by tenfold when you covet from Jesus.
The one road we traveled would ever shatter and break
It won't work. Dean belongs on Earth and Cas belongs in Heaven.
When I think of the love that I left behind
"I wish you never left."
Cas sighs. "I wish you asked me to stay.
I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours
Cas releases his fingers off of Dean's forehead and Dean can't breathe. His own dreams don't make sense but Cas'? Dean isn't really surprised that Cas dreams of Dean.
You belong to someone else...I do too
Dean closes his eyes and wills Cas to just leave him alone. "You...you belong to God, alright? And I belong with Lisa. We just need to stay with them, alright?" He doesn't open eyes to look into Cas'. He knows they will contradict everything he just said.
I know you're going to change your mind
It was like Cas was waiting for him. Waiting for him to change his mind.
"I know you, Dean. I know you will," he promises almost every single day. Dean doesn't want to prove him right.
****************
I still remember the way you smiled
Some days it's easy to fall back into how things were. Other days...
Dean smiles at Cas and it makes Cas frown. "That's not how you used to smile."
I didn't mean to make you sad
When Dean tells Cas that he doesn't love him, he loves Lisa, Cas doesn't smile for a week. It's the longest week in Dean's life. He only smiles when Dean apologizes the best he can by saying "I'm a damn good liar if I do say so myself."
So it's fare thee well to my own true love
"I don't believe in a lot of things but I believe in us. But I know there's not a happy ending in our story."
"You still have such little faith."
We'll meet another day, another time
Before Dean leaves for work Cas slips a piece of paper into his pocket. The note burns a hole in his pocket all day. "I could wait for you," it reads and honestly? Dean doesn't know if he has enough will power to wait.
This place ain't doing me good. I'm in the wrong town
"As long as you're happy," were the words for Dean to finally admit that he missed Cas and this wasn't for him. He wasn't supposed to be here. Cas' smile was answer enough
The Holy Kiss that's supposed to last for an eternity
There's a build up. Of course there is. They wait for years and when the Kiss finally happens Dean hears Lisa calling his name faintly in the wind. Cas sighs and disappears, leaving Dean standing alone in his yard.
Cause he doesn't tell you jokes or fairy tales say he has no style
One day Dean asks Cas to tell him a story.
"There once was a man who had to make a choice. He knows what the right one is but he always chooses the wrong one. A fairy grants him the chance to make his decision again and again until he makes himself happy. He goes through eternity unhappy because he always chooses to make someone else happy instead of himself."
Dean frowns until Cas kisses it off his face.
I'm so sick of love; I wish I never met you
Lisa doesn't feel the same. When you kiss an angel, nothing else feels the same. He was happy once. He was happy with her and now he can't remember anything but Cas. He misses normalcy and sometimes he wishes he never met Cas at all.
Those nights his dreams feel pretty empty.
But she reminded me that you were the one
Dean takes a breath. He forgets how fast Ben was. Cas appears before his eyes, kisses him and disappears before Ben pops up screaming "Found you!"
He wishes they didn't waste so much time but luckily they did because Lisa made Dean realize what he was missing.
But my true love who's bound to stay behind
Cas tells him stories with happy endings, sad endings, and occasionally ambiguous endings. But the fact of the matter is in their story they both know that Dean has to stay behind.
Please don't talk about tomorrow
He doesn't know where Cas takes them to; all he knows is that it's not Lisa's. He knows that it has to end and they'll end up saying goodbye, soon. But Cas just looks at him and he doesn't want to think about tomorrow. If he had his way, tomorrow would never come.
...and I said goodbye forever
The next day Cas kisses Dean one last time and flutters off to be the angel that They both know he is. He knows that would be the last time he ever sees Cas again.
And in my heart I felt an aching pain
Dean wakes up in a cold sweat but Cas is still laying next to him. It was just a dream, he tells himself. He still hurts like Cas is already gone and he knows he can't do that. Not again.
And they rode off together
They sat in the Impala, not going anywhere. Yet. Dean is looking out onto the open road and Cas is looking at him. "Are you sure Dean?" He asks and Dean's only answer is his foot on the gas pedal.
You took a part of me I really miss
"I miss it. I want it back," Cas had yelled at him when he first came back all those months ago. Dean didn't know what he was talking about at the time but he got it as they traveled down the road. Cas missed who he was when he was around Dean. Dean missed it, too.
When I see you, it's like I never had a thought
Everyday Dean wakes up to the same pair of blue eyes. The same mussled hair and the same pair of lips that smile down at him. It's like they were never separated at all.
end