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"Are you sure that you're going to be absolutely, positively, more than just okay going back home on your own?"
The small drummer smiled at her worried band mates, "I'm confident this time that I won't get lost and I know where I'm going!"
"Yes but-" Misaki tried to interject, offering to walk her home, but the determined look painted across Kanon's face made her stop.
"It's only from the train station to my house. Please don't worry about me."
They'd just arrived back in the prefecture after staying overnight (where they had Kanon on lock down from going outside on her own). They were coming home after performing at a venue outside of their hometown. The girls were lucky that the train just arrived before the early winter sun was about to set so arguing any longer will soon become troublesome.
Hagumi let out a deep sigh that verbalised the concerned look on Misaki's face. Kokoro also had an uncharacteristically confusing half smile on too, she didn't like the negative atmosphere. Only twenty five percent of her band were not smiling and that was enough to send her into emergency mode. The thought of Kanon's smile being washed away to make that sad minority, a dangerous majority might of just killed her.
"Okay!" She chirped up, "imagine your smiles and the happiness that you would feel when Kanon-chan successfully gets home! You wouldn't know what that feels like unless you let her try! Everyone would be smiling from that!" Kokoro looped one arm around Misaki and the other around Hagumi, "So come on, come on, come on, let's support her in her journey to get home."
The energy certainly did liven up the mood a bit as she was right. They should trust Kanon and trusting Kanon instead of questioning her would definitely keep her smile.
Misaki and Hagumi smiled in defeat, "Okay we'll see you off then, have a nice evening Kanon-chan-senpai."
Kanon let out a happy squeak as she picked up her backpack, "thank you everyone, I hope you have a nice evening too and I'll see you tomorrow at school." She turned around with an airy bounce in each step and began her S-class mission to return to her home without any mistakes.
"We all will be lucky to see you at school tomorrow..." Misaki muttered under her breath as she waved the little natural explorer off with everyone else.
As the drummer turned the corner and disappeared from the three girls sight, the guitarist finally made her appearance emerging from the station cafe.
Sipping on her coffee as she handed the other members their requests, she found that there was still a cup of coffee and a cookie untouched.
"Has Kanon gone to the bathroom?" Kaoru asked.
"Oh, she just left." Kokoro muffled through her devouring munches she rained down on her chocolate muffin.
Kaoru blinked, thought about what Kokoro said then blinked again.
"Oh, did someone come and pick her up?"
"Oh no" munch, munch, "She left by herself."
"Left by herself?" Kaoru repeated in a whisper.
"Yep!"
Kaoru stood frozen for a moment, trying to process the situation. She looked up at the now fading orange sky, to Misaki and Hagumi who were equally as worried and down to the bag in her hand which Kokoro had her hand in to steal Kanon's cookie.
Kaoru shook her worried face off and placed the mask of the prince back on. Flashing her charming smile she spoke softly, "Misaki my dear, would you be so kind and hold my coffee for a brief moment?"
"Sure."
As Misaki leant over to take Kaoru's coffee, she blinked (like any normal human would do) and with that one blink she was gone.
Misaki left out a silent scream before choking out, "I told you to stop doing that weird act after the Phantom Thief event!"
"What act?" Kokoro and Hagumi questioned, cocking their heads to the side like confused puppies as Misaki shouted at the air.
"Oh for the love of God..."
.
.
.
"Help me..."
The night had fallen and only a few streetlights lit up the path where Kanon stood... trembling. She had followed a path that just kept going and going until she stopped at a field that showed the faint outline of the countryside houses.
The realization that she was out of the city in the middle of nowhere sent her into panic mode as she ran back down that same path - well what she thought was that same path.
Now stuck in an alleyway with the sound of feral cats hissing and the low sound of cars passing in the distance with the occasional light exposing her... Kanon's legs now refused to move.
She was scared and most of all she was disappointed in herself. She told herself that she didn't need any help, she told herself to stop burdening people with her silly mistakes and clumsy outbursts, she told herself that to keep everyone smiling now and in the future she will work to improve all the flaws she has. Her first step was to find her house by herself and she couldn't even do that. How could she accomplish the rest of her goals?
She could just call one of them to pick her up (that would be the sensible option in this situation) but the embarrassment she would feel and the worry that she would place on her friends and family as they searched for her stopped her. She tucked her phone back in her pocket after lying to her mother that the train was still delayed through a text.
Why did she pointlessly lie? What for? Why was she being so uncharacteristically stubborn?
Kanon didn't notice her legs give way as she slumped down, curling into a ball against the cool brick wall. A million thoughts running through her mind, but they all ended with the same word...failure.
Failure, failure, failure.
Now, along with sounds of the unfamiliar night surrounding her, she softly sobbed. Hot tears burning against her cold skin as the winter's night soon began to change her trembles into endless shivers.
"Kanon..."
She was wishing that someone would find her now.
"Kanon..."
She wanted to be somewhere warm at least if she couldn't be found.
"Kanon..."
Her ears spiked at the sound of her name, but she refused to move from her spot. Weeping louder into her arms as the small cracks of light shone through her arm's barrier.
"Kanon!"
Soon she felt the warmth of someone close to her, slender arms wrapping around her balled figure giving her that warmth she craved. The saving she wished for but didn't want.
She let out a 'fue' as leaned into the new heat surrounding her. Moving her face from her hands to snuggle in the unknown saviour's chest without a second thought.
Gentle hands came up and petted her blue hair, "calm down, it's okay now." they repeated, stroking her hair as her sobs slowly became controlled.
Kanon realised now that the voice was familiar, the scent coming from the clothes, the feeling of the embrace...
She finally looked up at Kaoru who had a relieved smile across her face.
Seeing Kaoru out of all people was the worst and caused an eruption of tears to pour out as her grip on her sweater became tighter, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Kanon repeated over and over through her bumbling sobs.
"Hey, what's with all the tears?" Kaoru moved her hand down from her head over the weeping girl's face and stroked her tear stained cheeks, "there's no need to cry my kitten, you have been found safe and sound."
"But, that means I have failed, seeing you here means I've failed for good..." she squeaked out causing Kaoru to tilt her head in confusion.
"Kanon, what do you mean you've failed?"
"I've made a promise to myself that I would get better at all the things I am bad at," she moved her eyes to avoid Kaoru's gaze, "so that I can be the best for Hello Happy World and unlock the greatest smiles for myself and everyone else... for everyone else so that they wouldn't feel like I'm such a liability... a burden holding them back from their true smiles."
Kaoru slid her fingers now down Kanon's cheek to her chin and tilted her head to meet her eyes once again as she continued to vent.
"I broke my promise to myself, I made everyone worry about me because I couldn't do something so simple that anyone normal would be able to do."
"Kanon, look at yourself. Before you made all these unneeded promises you had a beautiful smile, absolutely fleeting and now? Where's your smile?" Kaoru ran her fingers across her lips, "you lost your smile trying to force it out. Smiles are natural, smiles happen out of nowhere, you can't stop the brightest smiles and you can't make true smiles by yourself. There's nothing wrong with wanting to become a better person, but people around you will help and you should take that help no matter how silly the task is. Don't worry about being a burden or a problem, you make us smile when you allow us to help and not force us away."
Kanon's eyes lightened up a bit at Kaoru's words.
"And we're Hello Happy World! None of us are normal. If we were all normal do you think that we'd be able to make the crowd smile as much as we do now and will in the future?"
Kaoru had a point and Kanon wanted to continue to share all of her worries so Kaoru could slay even more of her doubts and problems.
However, all Kanon could muster out was a "thank you" as the emotional toll started to hit her along with the exhaustion of today's events.
Kaoru wrapped her arms around Kanon once more a picked her up, cradling her fragile tired body against her once more as they began to walk to Kanon's house. Their journey together.
"Hey Kaoru I was thinking."
"Thinking of what?"
"How do you always manage to find me?"
Kaoru let out a laugh, "as Shakespeare once said you don't want to lose the ones you so deeply love, so you shall always find them no matter what weather, distance or problem stands in your way."
"Did Shakespeare really say that?"
"...maybe..."
Kanon giggled a bit as she could tell even in the dark that Kaoru had an embarrassing blush on.
"Well, I think it would be better if you correctly quoted it from the true legendary actress Kaoru Seta."
"You think so?"
"I know so."
Kaoru smiled down, kissing the top of Kanon's forehead in response - "you flatter me too much my little special kitten."
Kanon mirrored Kaoru's smile back as she enjoyed her ride home... and through the rest of the night.