Chapter Text
She stands alone by the window, gaze falling over the docks outside.
It’s quite late in the night, but people are still gathered there, carrying cargo to and from the ships; singing, laughing, drinking. Of course she knows their lives hold just as many troubles as her own – but seeing them from afar, it’s easy to imagine these sailors to have the most carefree lives of all.
To be able to see the world, to explore, and to live each day as it comes - how she yearns for such a life! She’s so tired of being bound to the place she was born in, so fed up with the old routine. She can’t take being alone anymore.
She can see his ship from where she is – standing tall among the rest. She’s a beauty, and even after all the battles she’s fought, she’s well taken care of: the Morrigan – her biggest and most foolish dream.
The Morrigan's captain sleeps soundly behind her, drunk on rum and love. She turns away from view outside only reluctantly, and gazes at her lover. The room is filled with the scent of him, his clothes scattered across the small room she calls her home. Sea wind brushes against his naked body, and she watches as he recoils slightly, eyebrows furrowing. How a man as tall and intimidating as him could ever be this adorable would forever be a mystery to her.
She approaches him quietly, knowing his senses to be keen, even in this state. She doesn't want to startle him. Not on their last night together.
The last night. The last time she'll see him in God knows how long. He can never quite tell and she never dares to ask just how long he'll be gone. Weeks? Months? Years? Will he ever return from his fights?
Perhaps things would be easier if he was just another sailor. Just another captain, who would always return home eventually. But he isn't. Shay is so much more than that. The scars littering his body, and the darkness hidden behind his eyes remind her of that time and time again. He's told her all about his past. She knows his goals. She knows she can't hold him back - it would be terribly selfish of her. But who is she, when he's away?
The bed dips under her weight, and he turns to her. Calmly, with eyes too tired to open, he reaches out for her, and easily she sinks into his embrace. He's warm and breathes quietly. His heartbeat seems calmer than usually too. Maybe she's just not used to it anymore. He's always gone for so long.
"Can't sleep?" Shay mumbles quietly, voice raspy with sleep. His arms move around her, one warming the small of her back, the other tangling itself into her hair. He holds her close as though he too can't bear to part.
"How could I?" She replies. She's not sure how awake he is, but she enjoys the way he nuzzles his face into her hair.
He chuckles - a soft and gentle sound, but it stings anyway. "And here I thought I'd tired you out last night."
Despite herself, she smiles as well. Memories come rushing back - memories of him, far more pleasant than what she's currently going through. But the more she loves him, the more she loves having him here - the more she dreads having to say goodbye again.
"I just wish we could stay together."
There is a beat of silence in the air. She wonders if he's fallen back asleep again, but eventually he answers.
"I'll come back. I'll always come back for you."
"And I'll always wait. But..."
Perhaps it is the heavy sigh that falls from her, or the way she clings to him suddenly - but Shay seems far more awake now. He untangles his fingers from her hair, and quickly finds hers. His hands are warm as his fingers brush against hers, and strong when he interlaces them. Slowly, he lifts their joined hands and presses them against his lips.
The touch is so soft and loving. It takes her breath away - he always seems to know just how to do that.
She wants to ask him to stay. To take her with him. Anything so they won't have to be separated. She never gets the chance to.
"I promise, one day I'll stay, lass." He whispers, and kisses the back of her hand again. "I'll come home, and I'll take you wherever you want to go. Please, just let me make sure it's safe first."
There it is, the truth beneath it all. He's still scared of what could happen to her if she followed him. How could she blame him? Shay, who's been trained for this fight his whole life - if she worried about him, how could he not worry about her tenfold? Here, in her home, she could defend herself. Out there, however? As it seemed, neither of them are too sure.
"Every goodbye seems to hurt more than the last." She admits, but it's in defeat. She knows he's made up his mind. And there's nothing anyone can do to change that.
Shay wraps one arm tighter around her, and places their interlaced hand on his chest. She can feel his heartbeat hammering away under the touch.
"I know. I'll end this soon."