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Sephiroth sat behind the desk, his head in yet another book. He couldn't believe what he was reading. All of the experiments used to create him. He was hardly human as it was. Now? Now he was finding he never was in the first place. He knew he was a Shinra labrat but he never knew the full extant it went to. Even his birth seemed to be for some damned experiment that failed.
There were various different handwritings in all of the books. He could narrow it down to three. Two he knew. The third, a feminine curve to the words, he could not place. He hadn't seen this before. Whoever it was, this place was likely scrubbed clean of her, no journal ever holding a name to give to the handwriting. As her journal's progressed Sephiroth could see a similar decent into madness, the same he was going through as he read. The hand holding the book trembled, so much so he could barely read the words on each page. A hand placed over his mouth to prevent him from snapping and screaming down in the basement.
This was his fourth day down here. After what Genesis had told him in the reactor, he needed to find the answers himself. Everything he was finding sent him spiraling violently downward. He must have been out of it because he didn't hear the floorboards above him creak, indicating someone was here. What he did hear was the door open.
The book he held snapped shut and he tried to settle whatever emotion he could grip to on his face. Whatever he managed didn't seem to be convincing Zack, who stood in the doorway. "Sephiroth..." He watched the man's expression twist further into worry. He couldn't stand looking further yet his only retreat was the books. He chose those, ignoring the other.
"Sephiroth it's been four days. You haven't left this place in four days." The concern was pulling at him, twisting into something bitter, leaving an awful taste in his mouth.
"There's too much down here for me to ignore Zack." He silently cursed himself for how his voice wavered as he spoke. As much as he hoped Zack wouldn't catch it, odds were he did.
"Have you even been sleeping?" Footsteps came closer to him and he just burried his head further into the book. "You haven't have you?"
"I've finally found what I've spent my entire life looking for. I can't let this pass by." He couldn't bring himself to look at Zack. He shouldn't have allowed himself to become so close in the first place yet here they were. Zack, so genuinely distressed over him and Sephiroth realizing yet again he let someone too close all over again.
Before he knew it, Zack was at his side and reading over his shoulder. The silence before was eerie yes, but now it was deafening. Every nerve screamed to shut the book. To not let Zack learn what a monster he truly was. The Wutainese were right about him. He was an abomination. Zack went to reach for him before pausing. "May I?"
Sephiroth let his arm rest down on the table before resting his head on Zack's chest. Taking the action as a silent approval, Zack held the man's head against himself, running his fingers through silver locks. His vision blurred and he had difficulty trying to decipher if it was from tears or the lack of sleep. Blinking answered his question when he felt the dampness on his eyelashes. He couldn't be crying. He wasn't a child anymore. He wouldn't allow himself to cry, not in front of Zack. Not now. He was supposed to keep a level head at all times he couldn't possibly be cry-
"It's okay to cry. I won't tell anyone." Zack spoke, as if he could read his mind. Was he that much of an open book? Or was it due to how close they had gotten in recent years? He felt himself let out a shuttered breath before pulling away from Zack. While he could tell that sent Zack down a rabbit hole of thoughts, he stood up from the chair, his legs wabbling slightly as he turned to face Zack again before pulling him into a hug, burrying his face into the crook of his neck and trembling with emotion he'd tried to push down but was boiling over. There was no hesitation from Zack, wrapping him in his own arms and holding him securely and playing with his hair. Zack must have been saying something, feeling the rumble of his chest as he did, but the words were lost on him. He was certain Zack could feel his tears wetting the fabric of his uniform but if it bothered him he said nothing about it, seemingly more focused on Sephiroth. He found himself hiccuping, trying desperately to keep his crying silent but his emotions seemed to be pinned against him.
"I don't have a clue what all these books have told you," Zack began, a bit louder than his comforting so Sephiroth could hear him. "But I know you. Sephiroth, the man who has a bag of sweets stuffed in his room because he's got a sweet tooth that the professor hates. The man who invites me over just to chat because he needed someone to talk to. The man who tries to hold the weight of the world on his shoulder and holds back so much for the 'greater good.' Who's been through hell and back, loosing a piece of himself each time.
Don't think I didn't see the hurt in your eyes when you saw Genesis again. I can't even begin to think of what you're going through right now. But I can tell you that you aren't a monster. I know you're thinking it." He felt Zack's hold tighten slightly around him for a moment. "And I'm telling you that you don't have to fight alone anymore. You don't have to keep pushing me away. I want to help you, I really do. I won't force you to, but I'm here for you."
Sephiroth took a moment to ponder the idea. There was so much to go through, he didn't want to drag Zack down with him. However he knew he couldn't do this on his own. If he did he would snap like plywood under the pressure. He could already feel the cracking. His body seemed to already know what it wanted, nodding his head slowly against the man. "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot." He pulled away from Zack finally, his eyes a bit red from crying and tear tracks evident. Zack cupped one of his cheeks, wiping away the trail. He found himself leaning into the touch.
"Let's get out of this basement. You need some rest."