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It was cold. Yuuri exhaled and saw a white smoke in front of his glasses. He wasn’t completely exhausted from the mountain hiking since this morning, he was a professional skater after all, but he still had to admit that the long bus trip killed, like, most part of him.
“Why are we even doing this in the mountain? We’ve got a hot spring just behind my house.” Yuuri sighed, tilted his head and hit slightly the glass window.
“It’s a treat from your own group Yuuri,” Viktor smiled, “like a big thank you for winning the silver medal?”
Yuuri snorted, and joked, “Then why are you here with me?”
“Ouch, I’m so hurt.” Said Viktor, “Technically I am still your coach until next season begins, so yeah, I’m part of the team.”
Viktor watched Yuuri’s face turned from a normal colour into a shade of red, “Sorry I meant no offence!” He’s still very amused by this kind of reaction from the other man. They have known each other for quite a while now. Of course he knew that he was joking. But Yuuri was always so cautious…
“I am, just, still, very happy about your return. And… I was wondering when you would go back to Russia… ”
“Oh don’t worry, of course I know it was a joke! Just calm down OK?” Viktor chuckled, and patted Yuuri’s head, “It’s gonna be fun, so relax and take a little nap, we’ll be there soon.”
Yuuri sighed again, but this time from satisfaction, he rested his head on his coach’s shoulder, murmured: “The hot spring in my house’s still better though.”
“I agree,” the silver head lowered his voice, then put his right arm around Yuuri’s neck so that the latter would rest on his chest instead, his hand travelled through his dark hair and made the other man hum under his palm, “it’s the best hot springs in the world.”
“Yeah.” The sound was almost not audible.
“Homesick already?” Viktor watched the mountain view through the bus window and smiled, didn’t stop patting Yuuri’s head.
~·~·~
That’s when Yuuri started thinking. He admitted that he’d got a problem somewhere inside his head where anxiety dominated his body, like, he just couldn’t stop it, but, he sort of embraced this part of himself as well. That’s the life of Katsuki Yuuri, period.
So he just left his mind being dragged back into every awkward moment in his life. Firstly being discovered crying miserably in a tiny toilet cabinet, then finding a naked Viktor in his backyard without knowing what to do, failing to do every 4Lo jump, slamming his forehead on a billboard…
And…
Finishing perfectly a performance, panting heavily after a training session but feeling happier than ever, winning a silver medal, smiling, hugging, loving.
His mind is indeed very strange… In a good way.
“What’s wrong?” He realized that Viktor was staring at him with a concerned look.
“Wha…?” Yuuri blinked, processing his surroundings and found no one else but Viktor and his group staffs.
“Oh.” He whispered, body stiffened, “i-it was nothing, I just… ”
“Got lost in your mind?” Viktor smiled, a few wrinkles appeared around the corner of his eyes.
Yuuri let out a short joyful sigh. “Yeah. Can’t escape from your eyes hah?”
“Humm.” Viktor shook his head, “You just got this look in your eyes when you’re thinking.”
“That obvious?” Yuuri laughed in disbelief, “thought I was the discreet type… ”
Viktor just shrugged, “Yup, super obvious. Like, now, I look into your eyes, and I could tell… ”
Yuuri quivered to the sudden rapprochement. “You hungry?” He tilted his head in confusion and Viktor pulled away. “Looks like you are.”
Then he felt released, it wasn’t the exact moment for revealing some complicated feelings, though he still couldn’t name it (mostly because love is still too heavy for him to process right now).
“Like I said before, don’t you worry. Everything is going perfectly, one of the staff told me that we’d be in a pine wood, cool right? And meal will surely be good. Plus it’s going to snow tonight, the air’s gonna be super fresh. Aw, couldn’t wait for that. Also he said the last time he’d been there there was a firework show, hey I think we can also buy some tiny fireworks. Can we? Not sure if they could do the firework show often, we’re in the mountain after all. But the tiny ones will do no harm, yeah? ” Viktor was acting like a five year old and begging for Yuuri to buy them tiny fireworks. Yuuri felt like laughing really hard but then he just held back and showed Viktor a big grin.
“Of course we can !”
~·~·~
They indeed had a good time. They settled in a big traditional room with a perfect mountain view. Viktor had to roll all over the floor inside their room to express his appreciation of the hotel. Yuuri did nothing but watching and laughing with the older man. And they had a very satisfying meal, with special regional dishes and snacks. Everyone congratulated Yuuri again for winning the silver medal of Grand Prix final, even the hotel owner joined them while presenting new dishes. Yuuri felt real happiness when the owner said their family watched every match and cheered for him in front of the television. He thanked her again and again that he felt like he couldn’t say anything else anymore. It was real fun experience.
Finally it was the spring bath. Yuuri had to admit that he already had super fun. But a hot spring bath would just be perfect. No man could say no to such enjoyment.
But before that he bought them tiny fireworks, I kept my promise, thought Yuuri. They just lit the fireworks and watched them faint little by little. Laughter and joy filled the pine wood.
When they finally got into the hot spring, Viktor sighed happily, “What a day, champ. Don’t you say?”
“What a day.” Yuuri replied, “Not a champ though.”
“Well, for me, you are. ” Viktor said, then silence filled the space between them.
Yuuri could feel his heart pounding inside his chest, heavily and firmly.
“Thanks I guess. ” said Yuuri eventually, “But I’m still not that good. Remember that time I promised to everyone that I’d get golden medal this season? ”
Viktor looked a little sadder, Yuuri didn’t think he did that with intention. But sometimes the other man was just as obvious as him when dealing with emotions. It’s rather easy to tell whether Viktor’s happy or not.
“However I failed. I know I should be satisfied winning the silver medal, I’ve never reached this high in my whole career, but now here I am, thanks to you, Viktor. I’m… happy. And, I’m… sorry. I know it’s all sudden, when all the emotions come together and you couldn’t tell which one you feel the most because you feel each bit of each one at the same time. That’s what I am feeling right now. I don’t know if I should be happy about that or not. I just… I’m sorry. ” Yuuri never knew he could say all of this in literal twenty seconds without even thinking.
“Don’t be. ” Viktor eased his face, getting closer to Yuuri and smiled. “Good job Yuuri. Whatever you’re saying, I’m still proud of you. ”
“You sound so like a coach right now. ” Yuuri murmured. Viktor knew Yuuri was smiling, regardless of the fact that he was hiding his face behind his palms.
“Hell yeah I am one. ” He teased, letting out a loud laughter.
“Yeah.” Yuuri agreed quietly. “I actually wished that I could be like you. ”
The older man tilted his head, showing his confusion. “Past tense?”
“Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, because, because I just realized,” Yuuri raised his head and gazed Viktor right in his eyes, “It’s better to be with you.”
Yuuri mussed his own hair, acting awkwardly, “It sounds bizarre, because I’m right here with you, here, at the moment. But I still want to tell you, I feel much better when I’m literally with you, than spending time imitating you, trying to be you. ”
Viktor blinked, once, twice, and Yuuri was waiting, he didn’t even know what he was expecting, but it felt like a really important moment in his life, with his heart pounding, breath holding.
But then everything past really fast. Viktor smiled, Yuuri relaxed, and Viktor simply placed a kiss on Yuuri’s forehead, and time just stopped.
Yuuri stared at him, tensed up once again. He could smell the scent of pine wood in the cold fresh air every time he inhaled, well, he actually didn’t exhale for quite a while, because, because! A tiny snowflake fell on his nose and melted, and then, then there was sparkles in the night sky, also in his already blown mind.
“They did do the firework show.” said Vikor.
And Yuuri smiled.
Love was still a word too heavy for him, because he was feeling light and free.
-The End-