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Japan is beautiful this time of the year. Dan reckons he was always meant to be here. Everything in his life was leading up to this moment. Every harassment, every single person he has ever come across, every shitty thing that has ever happened to him. It all lead to this moment.
It’s cheesy, he knows, but he’s cheesy and so is Phil. They are just cheesy saps together, but life is brilliant like that.
The path in front of them covered in cherry blossoms. The petals are falling off the trees and it should be sad and disheartening, but Dan can’t help but see the beauty in them. The soft, delicate pinks melting into the whites, lying still on the dark grey concrete. A truly picturesque scene, one that a simple photograph would not capture properly.
He loves Japan. It’s beautiful and for so long he’s wanted to come here. Now he’s here, with Phil. They were meant to come here together, Dan knows that. And they were meant to come here together during the spring when the cherry trees are in full bloom.
“You okay?” Phil asks.
They are sitting on a wooden bench, underneath some old trees, in the park next to their hotel. Once in awhile a petal land on Phil’s shoulder or in Dan’s lap. And the other reaches over to brush it away.
They are waiting for Duncan and Mimei to turn up. They agreed to meet there and Duncan texted five minutes ago that they’re running late, so Dan and Phil are using it to take everything in during their first full day in Tokyo.
“I am, yeah.” Dan smiles at him. Phil hasn’t bothered to fully do his hair, so it’s slightly pushed back. It looks good on him and Dan’s told him that. “Are you?”
“This is all so… surreal, I guess. Japan isn’t just a thing we see on animes. My butt is touching a Japanese bench and I’m breathing in Japanese air.”
Dan chuckles, then he does something they never really do when they’re out in public. He takes Phil’s hand, threading their fingers together. It’s a rare thing to do when they’re out and about. It usually happens in dark cinema rooms or underneath a table when they’re in a quiet corner of a restaurant.
Sometimes, Dan’s tired of hiding. Sometimes, he wants to be proud of the very special thing he has with Phil.
Sometimes, he worries that others will poison said thing.
But right now, he needs some grounding, some anchoring. He doesn’t want to float away, he doesn’t want to disassociate. Dan wants to enjoy every second of this, wants to remember every feeling and experience. So, he needs some grounding. And the best person to do that, as always, is Phil.
“You know, there’s something I haven’t said in Japan yet…”
Phil thinks for a second, then smiles. “That the sky is green and humans are just colourblind?”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Yes, Phil, exactly that. Thanks for your daily weird and totally not true Phil fact.”
“Always. You have been charged one kiss.”
“Dork.” Dan really wishes he could kiss Phil right now, but that’s different from holding hands. And he feels really sad. “Can I unsubscribe?”
“I’m afraid that’s not possible. Anyway, what was it? What did you want to say?”
Dan looks down to their linked hands. They fit together perfectly. They fit together perfectly when they were 18 and 22, and they fit together perfectly when they are 23 and 28 and he hopes they’ll fit together perfectly when they are 80 and 84. (Dan hopes that he’ll be able to annoy Phil for that long.)
Dan remembers how much his hand was sweating when he was first holding Phil’s. But then he realised Phil's was sweating as well. Now it’s the familiar warmness. Phil knows how tight he needs to hold Dan’s and he knows when he needs to let go.
“I love you.”
Phil smiles and holds Dan’s hand a bit tighter. “I love you, too.”
Holding hands really is the nicest.