Work Text:
you were good to me
Song by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler
Story by cassielassie
Written for the UnHappily Ever After Fest 2019
Prompt: When you treasure someone, it can be painful to see them find happiness with another person.
A laugh startled out of him and Hermione watched fondly as his blonde hair settled in front of his eyes as continued in his animated conversation with Ginny about Ginny’s Quidditch match earlier that day. She smiled as she felt Harry come up beside her and turned to look at him. He had a crooked grin on his face as he watched Draco and Ginny as well.
“Who would have thought this is where we would be three years after the war.” His voice carried a trace of sarcasm and Hermione found herself laughing quietly. “We’ve allowed the ferret to become one of us.”
Hermione jabbed him with her elbow, “Oh, don’t call him that. You know how much it irritates him.” She smiled all the same and wrapped her hand around Harry’s arm, her head falling to Harry’s shoulder as they looked out at Ginny and Draco.
After a few moments, Harry shifted and Hermione found herself looking up at him with a crease between her brows, recognizing his shift being a manifestation of something he was uncomfortable with. “Harry, what are you not saying?” She asked, her hand still gripping his arm and she felt him tense under her. “Harry, out with it. I won’t have you being cagey - something is clearly on your mind.”
Harry sighed and turned to look at her, running a hand through his already messy hair. “I just … you’ve been having your terrors again, haven’t you?” Hermione looked to the floor to avoid his eyes and he continued. “I can always tell - so don’t try lying. You get this waxy look about you from using glamours.” He paused and Hermione determinedly kept her eyes on the floor. “Just … have you tried talking to him about it? He has his own haunts from the war and all, I’m sure -“
“And we haven’t even been together for a year. That hardly seems to be the right way to foster a relationship.” Hermione scoffed and turned her eyes back up to Harry. “I really like him, Harry. I’m not going to go and drop all the baggage I’ve accumulated the last few years just because I’m not sleeping well.”
Neither spoke for a moment as they maintained eye contact, Harry’s lips forming a thin line.
“He asks, you know.” He finally said, looking back out to where Ginny and Draco were still laughing. “He asks what haunts you and why you won’t let him help you through this.” Harry’s eyes turned back to her, the piercing green keeping her locked in place. “I don’t think this is some folly for him Hermione - he wants to be in this for the long haul. You aren’t going to scare him off.”
Hermione said nothing before turning and heading over to where Ginny and Draco sat, sitting herself next down to the later and curling herself into his side as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, his warmth and clean smell enveloping her.
After a few moments, Harry came over as well and sat on the arm of Ginny’s chair, dropping a kiss onto her own forehead and giving Hermione a look she chose to ignore. Hermione felt rather than saw Draco notice this and he turned his head towards her, kissing above her ear.
“Anything I should know about?” He whispered, his breath warm on her ear and Hermione shivered just so, feeling warmth flood her as he tightened his hold on her.
She debated for a moment - just telling him the truth. How sometimes she felt like she was still there, in the middle of it all, watching Lavender bleed out and people die and the sounds and crying and flashes of green and all consuming hatred she felt for herself on surviving. How she wished she could go back and save so many people and re-do so many parts.
But instead, she minutely shook her head, placing her hand on his leg and squeezing slightly.
“No, nothing to worry about.”
Lyin’ isn’t better than silence
Floating’, but I feel like I’m dying’
Ginny and Harry twirled around the floor for their first dance, the side of the dance floor lined with their most loved ones watching with tears in their eyes. Hermione was no different and she was grinning ear to ear, so happy that her friend had finally gotten the chance to to be free and happy from everything in his past. Harry’s green eyes caught hers over Ginny’s shoulder and the sheer happiness caused a little bit of Hermione’s heart to fracture, wondering if she could ever be that happy again.
As if he knew what she was thinking, Draco wrapped his arm around her and tucked her into his side, his thumb rubbing over her hip as he did so. She looked up at him, wiping the tears from her eyes, taking in the warmth of his eyes as he looked her over and she felt her heart soar. Over two years and she had a hard time imagining her life without him. Waking up to anyone else.
Having anyone else hold her as she was trapped in those memories again.
“I can only hope that you’re half as emotional on our day.” He smirked, but Hermione noted the tightness at his eyes. Because everytime he had brought up taking that step, she hesitated even if she could not imagine taking it with anyone else.
Because she was broken.
With a mental shake of the head, Hermione refused to let that night be marred by those memories and smiled up at Draco, bringing her hand to the front of his robes, splaying her fingers across his chest.
“I think I’ll have to be more worried about all the witches ogling over what will never be theirs.” She smiled as he let out a soft chortle. Seeing other couples start to take the floor, she took a step back and grabbed his hand to pull on it. “Now come sweep me off my feet and remind me why I put up with you.”
His grey eyes lit-up and he followed her to the floor and pulled her grandly into his arms, holding her flush against himself as he started a formal waltz. Hermione laughed and tried to drop him out of the stance, but he resolutely refused to. “A Malfoy only dances in a certain, Granger.” Draco drawled and she rolled her eyes at him. “There’s none of that … swaying.”
“Draco, we look ridiculous. The Weasley family is staring like we’re about to grow a second head and disappear.” He continued to ignore her and took them around the floor several more turns, earning a few laughs out of Hermione as he quipped about her two left feet and how he was going to have bruises on his feet by the morning.
After a time, they stepped off the dance floor and socialized with everyone, Hermione making sure to keep her hand firmly attached to Draco’s. They continued to drink champagne, or butter beer, or whatever else was handed out and within hours, Hermione felt the happy warmth inside of her from the alcohol and the evening.
Excusing herself from Draco’s grasp and the conversation, she left to use the restroom. Afterwards, she hovered outside of the tent where the reception was and eventually found herself making her away off a distance so she could look up at the night sky. When she was far enough that the music from the reception was just in the background, she paused and wrapped her arms around her against the night chill, continuing to stare up at the stars above her.
“That’s Vega, one of the brightest stars in the night sky.” A hand suddenly pointed up beside her and she turned to follow the finger, relaxing into Draco as his other hand wrapped around her, holding her tight against his chest. “It makes up part of the Lyra constellation.” Turning her slightly, he pointed again. “Right next to the Draco constellation.” She hummed happily as he pressed a kiss to her head. “If I ever am lucky enough to have a daughter, I’ve always wanted to name her Lyra.”
Hermione turned in his arms and looked up, his eyes quicksilver as they looked down at her. She placed her hand on his cheek and slowly ran her thumb under his eye and he closed his eyes as he leaned into her hand.
“Someday, I would like to give you that.” Her voice was quiet but Draco’s eyes snapped open as he searched her face.
Seeming to see she meant it, a smile lit up his face and he pulled her closer and pressed his lips to her in a chaste kiss that brought nothing but butterflies to her stomach. Draco rested his forehead against hers as he looked into her eyes and Hermione settled her hands on his chest.
“You will always be my Vega, thought.” His voice was equally quiet. “The brightest light in my life and what makes me want to be a better person.” Draco kissed the tip of her nose and she scrunched her face up, causing him to laugh slightly before his face sobered up. “I will always follow you, wherever it takes us. Through the bad and the good. You will always be the guiding light of my life, Hermione. I love you doesn’t even cover it.”
Hermione felt her breath catch in her chest, his quicksilver eyes carrying more emotion than Hermione was used to. She drew her hand back up to Draco’s face and wiped away a tear that hovered there. Her hand shook slightly, but she kept it on his face as Draco’s breath ghosted over her.
“And you will always be my Draco, anchoring me into this world.” She pulled up on her toes and pressed her lips to his again. “I’ll love you no matter what.” She closed her eyes and dropped her head under Draco’s chin, pressing her ear against his chest as she listened to his heart.
Beating for her and the future she hoped they could have.
Still, no matter where I go
At the end of every road
Y ou were good to me
You were good to me, yeah
The book flew across the room and Draco deftly side-stepped it, his own face contorted in the same rage Hermione felt coursing through her body, the aftershocks of her anxiety attack still trembling through her body as she let out a ragged breath.
“Use your words, Granger.” His voice snipped out as he caught the next book she threw. “I can’t read your mind - for all that you seem to think I can, I have never read your mind!”
Before Hermione could hurl another book, Draco had crossed the room and pinned her to the wall, twisting her wrist and causing the book there to fall uselessly to the ground. Hermione struggled helplessly and snarled, “Let go of me, you prat. You lied to me!”
Draco’s grey eyes darted across her face and she tried to keep the feral snarl she felt within, though he seemed to know. “I think not. You’re being entirely irrational. I can’t know you’re on the verge of an anxiety attack if you don’t use your words. I can’t know I need to be here when you do not tell me, Hermione.”
Hermione looked away and blinked the tears that suddenly gathered in her eyes. “That’s not what I’m angry about, Draco.” For a few minutes neither of them said anything and tears slowly leaked out of the corner of her eyes and she tried to blink them away.
“Then what, Hermione.” Draco sighed but let up the pressure he was using to keep her against the wall and settled his forehead against her own. “What did I do wrong this time? I don’t know what I did.”
She pushed away from the wall and him slightly, pulling her arms across her chest. “It isn’t that you weren’t here. I … I didn’t know I was going to have the attack. This one caught me off guard.” Her hand absently ran up and down her right arm as she stared ahead, the ragged scars there keeping her anchored to the present. “But you … you lied to me. When I tried to find you. I … I firecalled the Manor to find you and … “ Hermione’s voice trailed off and she looked down at her feet, watching as Draco’s stepped into her line of sight.
“I didn’t know, Hermione.” His voice was quiet but she pulled away when he tried to wrap his arms around her. “I thought I was going to get tea with my mother. I didn’t know she was sending me off with Astoria until it was already happening.” He reached out an arm again but Hermione stepped out of reach again.
“You could have left, Draco.” Her voice was quiet and she turned to look at him. His own hair was falling in front of his eyes, loose from running his hand through it so many times. His grey eyes had turned quicksilver in the way they did when his emotions were running high. “You … you could have told your mother to stop. That she can’t keep doing this because … because you have me.” Her voice guttered at the last part of her sentence and she wiped at her face.
“It can’t be that easy. She’s my mum - I can’t just … avoid her. She has this own plan in her mind - she won’t stop until I’m married,” Hermione flinched at that and turned away. Draco let out an exasperated laugh. “And that - every time I’ve brought up marriage, you act like I’m trying to trap you into a life. It’s been three years, Hermione. My mother is impatient. She wants grandchildren. She wants to ensure the Malfoy line lives on. It’s archaic. It’s outrageous. But she isn’t going to stop until I’m married.”
Draco’s hand scrabbled for her own and she let him take it and felt him pulling at her, turning her towards him. He slid to one knee and held her hand tightly in hers. “So marry me, Hermione. I cannot imagine spending my life with someone else. I cannot imagine waking up with anyone else. I want to help you get through these … these episodes.”
Hermione looked him over and her hand started trembling. His eyes were quicksilver, looking for any sign that she would give him a different response. After they stared at each other for several long minutes, his eyes shuttered, losing the quicksilver and turning a stormy grey. He dropped her hand like she had burned him and stood up.
“And like always. You reject me. Why, Granger?” His voice was harsh and Hermione flinched away, immediately grabbing at her arm again.
“Because I’m broken.” Her voice was quiet and she refused to look at him. “I … I love you. Gods, I love you. But I’m so broken. Sometimes you’ll roll over in the night and wrap yourself around me and it’s everything I can do not to scream because some part of my brain thinks that I’m back there again.” She sucked in a deep breath and let it out in measured breaths.
Draco gathered her in his arms again, tucking her mess of curls under his chin and she wrapped her arms around him.
“I’m not running, Hermione. I’m always going to be here. Even if it means giving you space.” His voice was muffled to her ears and she nuzzled further into his chest. “I’m not perfect. You aren’t perfect. But you make me want to be better in a way that I have never wanted before.” His voice rumbled against her cheek and she closed her eyes.
“I know, Draco.” She squeezed her eyes and tried to ignore the pit in her stomach that said she would mess it up again.
I know it’s easier to run
After everything I’ve done
You were good to me
You were good to me
Hermione stepped out of the fireplace and sighed, kicking the low heels she had on off and to the side. After the day she had at the Ministry, all she really wanted to do was curl up on the couch with her favorite book and a glass of wine. Instead she had to change and get ready for her dinner with Draco - which she had been excited before, a night out to celebrate growing one year older.
She’d put on a brave face and go with Draco all the same, she knew he had been planning this night for some time. Just because a bunch of old prats in the Wizengamot had decided to make it a horrible day did not mean she had to let them win as a whole. Heading to the kitchen, Hermione poured a glass of wine before going back to the bedroom and staring into her closet absently, trying to decide what dress to wear. Though Draco had kept it a secret - she knew he would pick somewhere elaborate that required her to dress accordingly.
Pulling out a simple black dress, Hermione heard the floo go off. Setting the wine on the dresser and tossing the dress to the bed, she stepped back into the closet to find shoes and called out. “I’m in the bedroom.”
Before too long she heard Draco stepping into the bedroom but continued searching for the simple flats she had that she could get away wearing for the night. Finding them, she turned and saw him leaned up against the door frame, one eyebrow raised and his arms crossed across his chest.
“What?” She made to step out of the closet and he blocked her exit. With an exasperated sigh, Hermione pushed on his immovable shoulder. “Come now, I have to get ready for dinner.”
Draco’s arms wrapped around her suddenly and pulled her to his chest and Hermione let out a quiet squeal, dropping the flats. Draco said nothing but continued to hold her tight against his chest.
After a few minutes, Hermione pulled back her head to look up at Draco questioningly. “Are you okay?” She thought back to what Draco had said his day would be full of at the apothecary and tried to remember if there was a meeting. “Everything went okay at work today?”
Draco let out derisive snort and kissed her forehead. “You get told that you’re nothing more than a little girl that doesn’t understand the world and told every single initiative you’ve been working on is worthless and you’re asking me if I’m okay?” Hermione colored and started to open her mouth, but Draco continued, “I canceled the dinner reservation - I knew you wouldn’t be up to dealing with that after today. But - I stopped and grabbed food on the way home. Your favorite Thai place.”
Hermione beamed up at Draco and rose up on her toes to kiss him soundly. Pulling back, she turned back into the closet and got out her favorite sweats and shirt. “Well in that case, I have to dress the part.” Draco rolled his eyes, but let her pass as she headed to the bathroom.
Quickly changing, Hermione headed into the kitchen to see Draco had changed as well and had her wine glass sitting on the kitchen table where their dinner was laid out. The two ate and talked about the latest potion Draco had been experimenting with and the expose on Professor Snape and the Order that Hermione had been itching to write, and Hermione forgot about the day at work she’d had.
Retiring to the couch with wine, Hermione curled into the corner while Draco went to get something out of his bag. Coming back, he set a small box down in her lap and took Hermione’s glass from her, setting it on the side table with his own. “I told you that you didn’t need to get me anything.” She said crossly, but the smile on her face gave away her happiness.
Draco shrugged and sat down next to her, watching as she pulled on the wrapping. “Not everyday that my girlfriend turns a quarter of a century old.” He quickly ducked the pillow Hermione tossed at him and smiled good naturally.
Hermione pulled off the wrapping and saw a small black box, and felt a part of her get nervous - let it not be an engagement ring. Keeping her fingers on top of it for a moment, she peaked at Draco through her eyelashes and noted he did not seem nervous about the present, so she quickly pulled the lid off and looked down at the simple set diamond necklace inside.
“Draco -“ Her protest was quickly cut off as Draco took the necklace from her hands and had her turn around on the couch.
“It’s the Lyra constellation - with the Vega star - so that you always remember how you’re the guiding light in my life and remember how poignant you are in this world - you can move mountains, even without trying, regardless of what some old prats say.”
Hermione turned back around with tears in her eyes and Draco reached out to wipe them away, a soft smile on his face. “We both have our problems - things we’re still working through. But I don’t want either of us to give up on the other. Or on this relationship. We can argue and fight, but we both push the other to be better. And I can’t imagine a better way than to spend my night with you, in our sweats and eating Thai food. With you poking holes in my potions.” Hermione blushed at that, but Draco leaned forward and kissed her. “I’m not running, Hermione. Regardless of what my mother decides - there’s no one else for me.”
The tears ran freely from Hermione’s eyes as her heart set heavy in her chest, knowing it would be her that would be the ultimate cause of heartbreak in the relationship, if it were to happen. The part of her that struggled to trust and move on.
But it wasn’t the time for that, when Draco looked at her with such quicksilver in his eyes - love and adoration and warmth. And everything she needed at that time.
You were good to me
You were good to me
As soon as they stepped out of the fireplace, Draco threw his coat onto the couch and turned to Hermione, his eyes blazing molten silver in his face. “What the bloody fuck was that, Hermione?”
Hermione flinched at how calm his voice was and looked resolutely at the floor as she fiddled with the clutch in her hands. She kept her eyes down as she stepped around him and went into the kitchen where she shakily pulled down the wine glasses and poured herself a glass before glaring at it in anger.
She heard Draco come in behind her and stare at her, waiting for an answer. Hermione continued to stare at the glass of wine before grabbing it in her hand and throwing it into the sink, where the glass shattered everywhere. Draco cursed behind her as he jumped back form the flying glass and Hermione continued to stand there, even as she felt blood pebble up on her arms in spots.
The mess of the glass and wine was suddenly gone and Draco was in her face, grabbing hold of her cheeks and looking at her. “Hermione, what is wrong with you?” His voice shook slightly this time as her eyes glossed over him and she pulled back.
How had she been so foolish. Nothing could stay simple and easy - there was always something that had to happen. Just when they were getting better.
Draco reached for her again and a sob wrecked out of her chest as she grasped at her stomach and backed into the wall.
“Does your mother hate me?” Her voice was quiet and Draco froze where he was. “Is that why she had Rita post that bullshit about how you’re already moving on from me with Astoria? And you keep giving her fodder for photos by not leaving.” Draco’s eyes flashed and he opened his mouth, but she plowed on. “Would she ever … would she ever accept a child between us as the Malfoy heir?”
When he did nothing more than stare at her, his mouth gaping like a fish, Hermione gave out a derisive laugh. “I guess I have my answer.” She knew tears were streaming down her face, but she made no move to wipe them off before she pushed off the wall and went into the bedroom. Going into the closet, she pulled out her old beaded bag and started throwing random personal items into the bag.
Coming back into the bedroom, she grabbed several framed photos - with Ginny, Harry, and James at his first birthday. Photos with Draco. With Ron and Susan. She dumped all of them into her bag along with several books and went into the bathroom, where she continued to do the same.
As she made to go to the living room, Draco shot out from the kitchen to step in front of her and his eyes landed on the beaded bag.
“Don’t do this, Hermione.” His voice was ragged, like he had run a great distance. “Don’t make me push my mother away. She’ll accept it when it happens - but I can’t say she’ll be happy about it,” Hermione dodged his hand as she went past into the living room and she felt him grab her wrist as she continued putting things into her bag. She pulled harshly but he didn’t let go.
“I have my own demons, Draco. I can’t deal with your mother constantly putting you in Astoria’s path.” She turned to look at him and noted distantly the pure panic in his eyes. “I’m tired of this same dance and song, Draco. I fall apart - and you pull me back together. And when everything is great, I fall apart again or your mother comes in and does what she does or something else just happens and we crumble again and again. I’m tired.” Her voice broke and she pulled back again. “I’m tired of having to pick up all of our pieces. You are the only thing that keeps me together, but no one else wants to let it be.”
Draco surged forward and pulled her towards him hard, pressing his lips against hers desperately. Hermione tasted salt and did not know if it was her tears or Draco’s. The kiss was desperate and filled with all the words neither of them could say. Hermione clutched desperately at Draco’s chest as he pulled her closer. When he pulled back, he put his forehead against Hermione’s.
“Don’t leave. Don’t quit. You will always be the light.” His voice trembled and Hermione clenched her eyes and took a deep breath.
She stepped back quickly and watched as Draco looked at her, his eyes already breaking. “My life will never be easy, Draco. You deserve easy. You deserve better.” Hermione sucked in a breath and took another step back towards the fireplace, her hand groping for the floo powder. “You deserve to have a simple life without constantly worrying I’m going to fall apart down to my core - you don’t deserve to always have that lurking.”
Draco lurched towards her and she threw the powder into the fireplace, muttering an address he did not recognize. Hermione quickly stepped in and the green flames enveloped her, her voice echoing out as he grabbed at nothing.
“I love you, Draco.”
Leavin’ isn’t better than tryin’
Growin’, but I’m just growin’ tired
Hermione stared out the window absently, twirling her pen between her fingers as she considered the note in front of her. The note that would make it all so easy to go back to what she knew and had been comfortable with - happy with. What she could imagine the rest of her life looking like. But it wouldn’t be fair to him.
Hermione - Please come back. I’m sorry for my mother did and how I never made a chance to stop it. I’ll do it - just come back, and I’ll never speak to my mother again because I can’t imagine my life without you. I’ll do whatever you want, just come back to me. We were good to each other - where I’m harsh, you softened me and I hardened you - we were just tired. I love you. - Draco
The owl sat in the window sill and stared at her with its unblinking eyes, as if it could imagine how tempting it was for her to just go back - if she could have apparated she probably would have. But everything was far more involved now.
Hermione dropped the pen and stood up as the tea kettle whistled, preparing her tea absently - pack the leaves, drop it in, splash of milk. Same as always, the tea swirling the same color as her hair. She stared into the depths of the tea waiting for an answer she was not going to get - an answer she knew could not be but she wished desperately that it would be. How much easier life would be then.
The owl hooted and nipped towards Hermione and she sighed. “You were always an impatient one. Just like Draco.” Her voice was soft and the owl seemed to cock its head as if it understood her. But with no reply Hermione was left alone with her thoughts.
Could she do what she had to - accept what her life would look like going forward without. Or would she cave to the need, the weakness that was always there in the background that was afraid of being alone when someone was so willing to be good to her - most of the time.
He loved her - she knew that - but they both had so much going on. He had a mother he couldn’t leave. A childhood friend being pushed at him for marriage and a girlfriend that could not bear the thought of marriage.
But had not been careful enough.
Smartest witch of her age, for what that was worth. The Daily Prophet would have a field day.
Hermione took a sip of the tea and sat back down, picking up the pen she had been turning and turning and turning for hours. Putting the tip to the paper she wrote.
Draco - we can’t keep lying. We’re both tired and we need the space to grow. If that means you need to try things out that your mother wants - so be it. I won’t chain you down without knowing if a simpler life, without someone as burdened as I am, is what you need. We’ve both been through so much. You deserve just as much as me or Harry or Ron to have an easy life - but I do not know when I will be better. There are things I need to deal with away from Wizarding Britain. I love you so much - I’m so scared of doing this without you. But I have to. I’m so sorry - you were so good for me. To me. You have forever impacted my life. I will always be your Vega, the brightest star in your life. But sometimes too much light can be blinding. Harry and Ginny know where I am. But please - let me have the time I need. If I don’t come back, please don’t pause your life forever. Find that happiness. - Hermione
Before she could second guess it, Hermione got up and tied the note to the owl’s outstretched leg and opened the window, watching as the owl flew farther and farther away.
And when the gaping hole in her chest with all her fears for the future consumed her, she sank to the ground with wracking sobs and no one to hold her.
Now I’m worried for my soul
And I’m still scared of growin’ old
You were good to me
You were good to me, yeah
The newspaper shook slightly in her hands and Hermione let it fall to the table. It was his engagement announcement - she had known it would come. She had left Britain out of necessity, but had avoided going back so she didn’t have to see him.
But it didn’t stop her from getting The Daily Prophet and checking the society pages.
Checking for him.
Her fingers traced over the picture in the paper, cocking her head as she watched him look over at Astoria. Turning slightly, she opened a drawer in the kitchen and pulled out another photo, laying it down next to that one. Her fingers smoothed the creases out in the corners.
In the newspaper photo, he smiled at Astoria. He looked at her, his attention seemingly entirely focused. But the smile didn’t reach the rest of his face. He seemed to be restraining himself.
Looking at the older photo, Hermione watched the younger version of herself look at the book in her hands before turning to the younger Draco and beam at him. She watched as his arms tightened around her fractionally and the smile that lit up his whole face as he looked at her.
She looked back to the restrained smile Draco gave Astoria and felt her eyebrows furrow. This was what he wanted - something simple and easy. No complications. No fighting with his family. Just something simple after the childhood they had all dealt with. The aftermath.
Someone who didn’t still have panic attacks, years later. Someone who did not wake up screaming in the night from nightmares.
The sound of children’s laughter came closer and Hermione heard Ginny berating Albus for throwing mud at James, and she quickly put her picture back in the drawer and slammed it shut.
She looked at the photo in The Daily Prophet again but found herself unable to move her eyes. The door shut and closed and Hermione registered the flurry of activity that came in, but was unable to pull her eyes away. A body came up and paused beside her.
“Oh, Hermione.” She felt Ginny’s arms wrap around her, her stomach protruding against Hermione’s side, and she blinked as she realized tears had landed on the newspaper. Hermione hastily wiped away her tears and crumpled the newspaper up in her hands. Ginny’s arms tightened around her and Hermione rested her head against her friends and closed her eyes.
For a moment, neither of them moved as Hermione got her breathing under control. Hermione felt Ginny pull the newspaper from her hands and move away. Hermione opened her eyes and watched as Ginny threw the paper in the trash can, the scampering of children behind her.
“What a prat, going and getting engaged.” Ginny scoffed and put the kettle on the oven, muttering under her breath as Hermione stood still.
Moments later, Ginny shoved the teacup into Hermione’s hands and she realized what Ginny had said. “Don’t … don’t blame him.” Hermione sat down at the table and fiddled with the cup as Ginny stood by the stove, waiting for her to finish. “I … I told him to move on and find happiness. Years ago. When we fought. After I left. He asked if I would ever come back. I … I told him if I didn’t that he should move on with an easy life.” Hermione coughed slightly and took a sip of tea to avoid the look on Ginny’s face. “I couldn’t give him what he needed. Or wanted.”
Ginny sighed and sat down beside Hermione, taking a sip from her own teacup.
“Hermione, you can be so blind. You were all he ever wanted and needed. And he’d want to know - “
“Don’t.” Hermione cut Ginny off quickly. “We aren’t talking about this. I’ve made my decision. Just … let it be. Not today.” Hermione stood from the table and disappeared into the living room where the children were laughing.
Ginny sighed, hands on her stomach, before standing up and rubbing her temple before following with the teacups.
And I’m so used to lettin’ go
But I don’t wanna be alone
You were good to me
You were good to me, yeah, oh
The fall leaves rustled in the wind and Hermione took a drink from her thermos, listening to Ginny go on about the antics at the last Quidditch match she had covered with a small smile on her face. Harry and Ron were running around the yard with the kids, extravagant yells and noises carrying back. Her finger tapped on the side of her thermos absently and it was some time before she realized that Ginny had stopped talking. She looked over to see her friend’s head tilted to the sigh, that same worried look on her face that Hermione had grown used to over the years.
With a sigh, Hermione set the thermos down. “Out with it, Ginny. I’m not … fragile.” She grimaced at the look Ginny gave her and amended her sentence. “Not anymore. The mind healer has been good for me. I needed to get away and do this to take care of myself.”
Ginny eyed her dubiously but pulled a copy of The Daily Prophet from the basket sitting next to her and set it down in Hermione’s lap. Hermione looked down and hesitant lifted her hand, not noticing the tremor in her fingers as she hesitantly set it down on the picture in front of her.
Draco Malfoy and Astoria Malfoy (née Greengrass) married in the wizarding wedding of the year.
Hermione felt Ginny looking at her as her fingers absently slid down the photo, taking in the laughter on Astoria’s face and the fond look that he was giving her. He had found that simplicity - that way to be happy with someone who did not have the baggage. She could not have asked for anything more.
She looked up at Ginny and let a ghost of a smile grace her lips. “We knew it was coming - it is what naturally follows an engagement, Gin.” Her voice was strong and steady, but Ginny still had a hooded look to her eyes. “Gin, I’m fine. I promise.” Hermione huffed a breath and pulled the tumbler back into her hands before taking a sip. “I … admit I was not in a good place. For a long time.” She stared at the children with Harry and Ron and let a fond smile overtake her face. “But things are better now. I … the mind healer has helped. Going back to my roots has helped. Taking a break from the light and the expectations and the need to always be the strong face …“
Hermione trailed off, lost in thought, her hair shifting in the winds around her. Ginny sighed and moved over next to Hermione, wrapping her arm around Hermione’s shoulders and pulling her close, pulling the paper off Hermione’s lap and setting it on the ground.
“I know, ‘Mione. Still. I just wish you could have been happy in … that way. We’ll always be there for you, but that intimacy you guys had…” Ginny trailed off and shrugged as Hermione laid her head against Ginny’s shoulder.
“We were volatile. Different circumstances, that could have been us. But Merlin, Ginny, I threw a book at him once. Me. The bibliophile who berates anybody that dog ears a page.” A laugh left Hermione and she felt Ginny relaxing next to her. She pulled back and looked at her friend. “I am happy, Ginny. It isn’t the life I thought I’d have. I would have asked for it differently. But I would not change anything. It gave me one of the brightest parts of my life.”
Ginny smiled and pulled Hermione back into her arms and the two of them sat there some time longer, staring out as Ron performed an elegant flop onto the ground and the children pounced on top of him. Ginny’s stomach grumbled and Hermione laughed.
“Can always count on those Weasley’s to remind us when it’s dinner,” she chuckled as Ginny pulled away with a face. Hermione looked at her watch and noted it was, in fact, close to dinner. “I think the roast should be close to being done now. It’s been in the oven for a few hours.” She looked up as Ginny stretched before she started putting things back into the basket.
Heaving the basket onto her arm, Ginny turned and announced, “Dinner will be ready soon!” Ron’s head immediately snapped and he sprinted back to the house, the gaggle of children following him. Harry gave an exasperated smile their way before he followed after them.
Ginny started to follow as well and Hermione spoke-up. “I am happy for him, Ginny.” Her voice was quiet and the red-head paused but did not turn around. “He deserved to have an easy life and I … I could not give that to him then. I’m glad he’s found it.” She paused again and tucked a curl behind her ear. “I am in a good place though - I have been working on my book again. I hope to have it finished within the next year to send to the publisher.”
Hermione watched as Ginny nodded and walked off, giving Hermione a few moments to herself. She stared down at the photo in the paper on the ground in front of her and took a breath. The empty feeling in her chest was still there, but it was not as entirely soul crushing as it had been. She could still be who she was. All the same, she closed her eyes and let a few tears fall from her eyes silently. Hermione stayed that way for a while before small hands pulled at her own and she took a breath and let go of the emptiness to embrace her life now.
God only knows where our fears go
Hearts I’ve broke, now my tears flow
You’ll see that I’m sorry
‘Cause you were good to me
You were good to me
With a clack of the keyboard, Hermione leaned back in her seat with a smile on her face. Years in the making - and she had finally finished her expose on Professor Snape and his time as a double agent for the Order. And all the things the Order had done and should not have - Dumbledore’s treatment of Harry, the things he kept secret.
All of it to be out in the open. The truth for everyone to know at last. It had taken her a little over a year to finish - she had gotten interest from a publisher and would begin the editing process with them, determining what needed to be fleshed out more or cut. They had told her to expect at least another year or two before the book was published - as impatient as Hermione was, she found she did not mind it as much because it was a step to finishing what she had wanted to work on so much.
She stood and stretched, enjoying the silence. Ginny and Harry had come to visit on vacation and the house had been nothing but noises with all of the kids running around and playing. It was a nice change - but the absence of the sound made her enjoy the solitude all the more.
An owl hooted from the kitchen window and Hermione stepped forward to grab the newspaper attached, absently dropping the sickles into the pouch in payment. She dropped the paper on the table and turned to make the tea, adding a splash of milk, and grabbing some biscuits before she sat down at the table with the paper. She turned through the pages, absently wondering if the publishing of the book would be the time for her to head back to Wizarding Britain.
It would be under a pseudonym, so no one would know it was she who had exposed the secrets other than those she had told. So to most people it would not be any particular event - just Hermione Granger, one third of the Golden Trio, back to Wizarding Britain after six years gone.
There would be a few other things the papers would likely focus on, but she would find a way to keep Rita Skeeter in check. Last she had checked, Rita still had not registered as an animagus. Her thoughts were interrupted by an announcement in the society pages, but her hand did not shake this time - only her heart stuttered.
Draco Malfoy and Astoria Malfoy (née Greengrass) are excited to announce the birth of their son, Scorpius Lucius Malfoy …
Before Hermione could read further, the door behind her opened and she turned to see Ginny and Harry corralling the children in. Albus ran ahead and came to a stop at Hermione’s side, tears streaming down his face. Hermione reached down and wiped the tears from his face as he sobbed into her leg.
“What’s the matter, Albus?” Her voice was soft, trying to not startle him as the rest of the children ran straight into the living room.
Albus looked up at her and seemed to be working up the courage to tell her and Hermione noted Ginny standing behind him with crossed arms and an amused expression on her face.
“I-I” Albus stuttered and wiped his nose across his shirt sleeves, smearing snot across his arm and Hermione resisted the urge to scourgify it immediately. “I din’t mean to, but she was mean and -“ Ginny coughed behind him and Albus turned, his face turning into a pout and more tears running down his face. He turned back to Hermione and she raised her eyebrow at him. “I’m sorry for cutting her hair.”
Hermione swallowed a cough and gave Ginny a look, whose own face was fighting to keep a smile from overtaking. “And whose hair did you cut, Albus?”
He fidgeted some more before opening his mouth. “I cut L-“
Albus was abruptly cut off by a screech from the other room, “GIVE ME BACK MY DOLL, JAMES.”
Hermione gave a sigh and stood up, shooing Albus back to his mother. As she went to the living room to help Harry, she thought back to the newspaper. It still hurt - it always would, watching the man she still loved move on. But he did what she told him to. He was moving on with a simple and easy life.
And Hermione found that she did not feel as sad as she once would have, even as her heart ached for it to be her instead of Astoria.
And now I’m closin’ every door
‘Cause I’m sick of wantin’ more
You were good to me
You were good to me, yeah
Hermione absently held the book in her hand, her fingers just barely holding onto the cover. Her eyes tracked the couple with the small toddler on the other end of the store, the blonde man tentative to the needs of his wife and small child, a faint smile at the edges of his lips. The toddler babbled something and his lips pulled further as he kept the smile at bay, though the wife let out a startled and soft laugh.
Her eyes continued to track as he squeezed his wife’s waist as they got in line, a number of books in their hands - including a few picture books she could just make out the pictures on. The little boy squirmed out of his mother’s arms to the ground where he hugged onto the man’s leg tightly, one thumb going straight into his mouth. The man ran his fingers through his son’s blonde hair, a fond look on his face as he looked down.
In what seemed like seconds, they had finished checking out and were walking out the door, both of them holding onto their sons hand as he squealed. They stopped by the door to the street as the man looked at another book and Hermione took a half step back further into the book shelf, clutching the book in her hands like it was her life-line.
“Astoria!” A voice carried from the street and Hermione watched as a smile lit up the woman’s face and she picked up the little boy, quickly pecking the man before stepping out to a chorus of hellos. The man only just acknowledged, shifting the bag in his hand before picking up another book in the window and absently looking over the back cover.
Hermione’s breath hitched as she realized what book he held in his hands - her very own book that she had shelved so many years ago and only recently finished. A story about Professor Snape and everything that went on in the Order that no one knew about. His fingers traced over her pseudonym - the one he helped to pick - on the front cover and Hermione felt tears gathering at the corner of her eyes as she grasped at the necklace at her throat. He opened the front cover and looked down at the first page - and Hermione knew what he was running his fingers over now.
D - You were good to me, when no one else was. I miss you. - Vega
His hand shook slightly over the inscription and he coughed roughly, and Hermione knew he was trying not to cry in the book store. She should have warned him - she should have had a publisher send him the book directly. She could imagine how his eyes would look like quick silver as the emotions swirled and the tears he would not release gathered.
“Draco.” His name just barely left her lips and she took a half step forward, the book in her hands tumbling to the floor before a small hand fisted in her jacket. Hermione looked back and down, her eyes lighting on the curly mop of blonde hair. A familiar pout greeted her and she paused.
“Mummy, why can’t I get the same books that Teddy is getting. I want to be a witch!”
Hermione sighed and took a step to the side, ensuring to block the little girl from anyone standing by the doorway who would look over at the tone. “Lyra, we’ve been over this. You still have four more years before you get to go to Hogwarts.” Hermione reached out and pulled on one of her daughter’s curls. “But, if you’re a good girl and go stand with Aunt Ginny we can stop and get ice cream on the way home.”
The little girl beamed up at her mother, her grey eyes creasing in the corner as she let out a little giggle. “Can I get sprinkles?” Hermione sighed and nodded and Lyra took off around the corner singing loudly, “you scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream.”
Hermione stood still, before turning just so to look back, but Draco did not seem to have noticed the exchange. With a soft sigh, she just turned back and squeezed her eyes shut, a few tears leaking out. With a stuttering breath, she picked up the book she had dropped, held the necklace at her throat tightly, and quickly disappeared around the corner after her daughter.
Swear I’m different than before
I won’t hurt you anymore
‘Cause you were good to me
Draco’s fingers clenched around the book as he watched Hermione disappear around the corner, her hands clutched on the necklace he had not seen in so long.
Around the corner after a little girl that called her mummy.
A little girl with his blonde hair, and Hermione’s curls.
A little girl with his eyes. His mouth. Hermione’s dimples.
And she had named her Lyra.
Draco took a deep breath and felt his heart stuttering in his chest. He hadn’t seen Hermione in almost eight years. Eight years, and now she had a daughter. With his hair and eyes. Named after the constellation - the constellation Draco had told Hermione about, that she still wore about her neck. The constellation with the brightest star.
“Draco!” Astoria’s voice called from outside and he turned to look, taking in how Scorpius rested his head on his mother’s shoulder but his grey eyes looked back to him only. “Are you going to stand there all day?” Astoria smiled absently and Draco knew that she had seen Hermione too - if not the little girl. A conversation to be had later, but for now, they would pretend that everything was normal.
“Yeah, I’ll be there in a moment.” He absently held the book up and gave a half smile, turning to head back to the counter. In no time, he had paid for the new book that he was dropping into the bag and he turned to head back out.
Only to turn right into red hair. He took a step back and sneered as he realized who was in front of him. “Weasley.”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “It’s Potter now. But you would know that - you were at the wedding. It’s not like it’s been twelve years or anything,” Her voice was soft and she rolled her eyes, before checking the store over Draco’s shoulder as she reached into a bag hanging from her shoulder.
Ginny hesitated a moment before shoving the item she had grasped into his hands. “I didn’t give you this.”
Draco looked down to see a photo album in his hands, the name Lyra Andromeda underneath the photo of the small pink child on the front. His breath caught again, his heart stuttering, and he looked sharply back up. “Why.” His voice came out strangled and Draco cleared his throat. “Why … why did no one tell me.”
She reached over and placed a hand on Draco’s arm, squeezing lightly. “I kept this album because you deserved to know, Malfoy. I wanted to tell you - but it wasn’t exactly like I could continue being your friend after … well, everything. I don’t know everything that happened. She saw a mind healer, since then. She’s better. I know she’s never stopped missing you.” Ginny hesitated, eyes scanning around again. “I can’t stay, they already went out the back. Just … she just came back to us, Malfoy.”
Draco nodded absently and let Ginny slip away, staring at the photo album in his hands. He thought back to that final night and the question she had asked him. If his mother would ever accept a child between the two of them as the Malfoy heir. Draco squeezed his eyes shut briefly, wishing he had known and could change the answer - no hesitating. Change everything. He opened his eyes a moment later and calmed himself, letting a mask slide back into place.
He slowly tucked the album into the bag, adjusting the books. A conversation to have later with Astoria - that’s all it was. It was not as if Hermione was coming back and asking him for anything. Squaring his shoulders, he strode out of the store and into the arms of his wife and son, Scorpius’ grey eyes staring up at him in adoration.
But another pair of grey eyes were on his mind. And another pair of arms, scars and all.