Chapter Text
He walked up the steps to the school, people pressing against him and pushing past him all the way into the building. The school wasn’t that big, Roarton wasn’t a large town, and yet the school seemed to be packed, almost bursting at the seams with students. There were just so many people.
He sighed, clutching his sketchbook tighter to his chest. More than once someone had knocked into him and had almost made him drop it. They weren’t too expensive, he could always get more, but they were his lifeline to getting through each day of this hellhole. Each page held something precious to him, a piece of his soul, even if it was sloppy and rushed as he tried to finish before class was over each day. They were also his ticket out; he had to get out. No one in their right mind would want to live in Roarton their whole lives, though the people that had been born and raised here weren’t anywhere near what he would call sane.
Someone behind him yelled something and he reflexively looked back as his feet kept walking forward. Big mistake. In the second it took for his head to crane backwards, a large body thudded into his, making him drop everything he had, including the sketchbook.
“Fuck,” he muttered, trying to quickly gather all of his things and give the other boy his things back as well.
“Sorry,” the other boy said good-naturedly. “Should’ve watched where I was walking, didn’t mean to bump into ya.”
“It’s fine,” he mumbled, though it wasn’t. All his papers were everywhere, and he still hadn’t found his damn sketchbook.
“Oh, is this yours?” the boy asked. He looked up. The boy wasn’t actually a boy after all, he was older by at least a couple years. Probably last year here, he thought, jealous. He’s probably running as fast as he can from this place. The man was very good-looking, all muscles and blond locks and sweet smiles. And he was currently rifling through the sketchbook. Without permission.
“Hey! Yeah, it is. And who said you could just go through it?” He made grabby hands toward it, and the guy gave it back looking sheepish.
“Sorry. I was curious and got carried away. They’re really good by the way. Are you an artist?” The guy seemed genuinely curious about it. He wasn’t just being polite, like his parents always were towards it. They cared of course, and wanted him to follow his dreams. They supported him fully in his endeavors, but they wanted him to stay as close as possible and that just wasn’t happening. Anytime they talked about art, or painting, or his sketches, it always ended in the exact same argument. He was tired of the same old fight.
“Thanks,” he gave the man a small smile, still on guard but willing to share his passion of all things art with him. “Yeah. I’m an artist. And it’s fine, I just prefer people have my permission before they go through my things.”
The guy rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. He couldn’t help but find him even more attractive when he grinned a little wider. “Sorry again, mate. So, do you just draw? Or can you like paint as well?”
A girl brushed past him. He hadn’t realized they’d been just standing still in the hallway for the last few minutes. “I can paint, too. I can tell you more about it, if you want?” This was it. The last straw before he genuinely liked this guy for good. He hoped the guy wasn’t just messing with him.
“I’d like that. Name’s Rick.” The guy, Rick, turned with him to start walking down the hall again.
“Kieren.”
Slowly, Kieren began to wake up. His one free arm stretched above his head. He felt a warm body pressed against his back and smiled. Rick must’ve ended up spending the night. Usually they tried not to do that. It was easy to tell they were more than just best mates and their parents weren’t completely comfortable with the sleepovers anymore. Well, his parents weren’t comfortable. Rick’s parents, or dad at least, hated him. His mom was polite enough but Kieren could tell she thought Rick should be with someone else. Someone not so...outcasted and wild. She liked him enough and wanted her son to be happy, but still, Kieren could tell she would’ve preferred it to be with somebody else.
He slid one eye open and recognized it as Amy’s bungalow. But, that wasn’t right, was it? Why would he and Rick be here of all places? And then the thoughts crashed down around on him. Rick was gone. Had been for a long time. Yet, sometimes Kieren would dream of him, or remember one of their lazy afternoons listening to music or Kieren painting him, and forget that he’d ever left. But, Rick wasn’t coming back. No matter how much Kieren had begged at his grave for him to make a second miracle happen, Rick was staying in the ground for good this time.
“Mornin’.” The Irish accent was thicker in the mornings. It fell upon Kieren like a caress, one he had become familiar with. Instead of blond hair, Kieren now looked at dark brown hair. Instead of scars covering the side of the face, there was a long one down the back. Instead of Rick, Kieren had Simon. And he cared for Simon, no matter how much he missed Rick. Rick was his first love, and Kieren had thought he would be his last. But, things change.
“Morning,” he spoke, his voice thick with sleep and emotion.
The arm draped over him tightened, bringing Kieren closer to Simon’s chest. “What’s wrong?”
Kieren sighed. “Nothing. Just dreamed of Rick last night. When we first met. Sometimes I miss him so much.”
After the graveyard incident, after Gary had made Kieren take Blue Oblivion and Simon had saved Kieren’s life, after the Second Rising had been called off, after Amy’s death and her funeral, the two of them had sat down and talked. Simon had come clean about the Undead Prophet’s plans, and so much more. About his past before the Rising and after the Rising. The things he’d had to do. The things he hadn’t wanted to do, but did anyway for the ‘greater good’ as it was always spewed for people to believe. Simon had told Kieren about everything.
In return, Kieren had given everything he’d had as well. He talked a lot about Rick, not really many specifics, but the plans, the feelings, the hurt and guilt. The relief Kieren had felt when he’d committed suicide. They’d talked about everything. They’d needed to. After Amy was gone, they only had each other. Simon was considered a traitor, and no matter how much he loved his parents, Kieren couldn’t tell them all these things: the Walkers had just gotten past the road bumps Maxine Martin had left in her wake. They didn’t need anymore to add to that.
Simon and Kieren had decided during their talk that they needed to always talk to each other. This couldn’t be a one time thing. They needed to talk about feelings, memories, random thoughts, anything they needed to get off their chests. As lame as it sounded communication was key to making this relationship work. And they needed this relationship to work. That had always been something he and Rick could never do. Rick rarely ever wanted to talk about anything like that. Rick was always stolen kisses and hushed confessions, whereas Simon would prefer that they shouted their feelings from the rooftops every other day.
“Understandable. He was your first love. No matter how many people you’re with he will always have a place in your heart where you remember the happy times and love him.” Simon placed a kiss on the back of Kieren’s neck. “Do you want to tell me about how you two met?”
Kieren couldn’t help but smile at the memory, just like he had when he’d woken up. “I was carrying a lot of stuff, a sketchbook included, at school when this guy walked right into me.”
-X-
They were going to the Walker’s house for Sunday lunch. Even though neither ate, it was insisted that they both always come. His mom had told him “After everything, we see Simon as family now. And family comes to Sunday lunch.” And that was that. When Kieren had told Simon this, he’d seemed so shocked.
“They consider me… family?” he’d asked, barely above a whisper, like he couldn’t say the words any louder or they would no longer be true.
“Of course they do. Now come on, don’t want to be late do you?”
That was a couple weeks ago. At first conversation had been stilted and awkward. No one really knew what to say, and Jem and Simon had never actually talked before. But, they’d gotten through it and the ice had eventually broke when Jem made a joke. Kieren appreciated it. He knew how hard it was for his sister after everything that had happened. To see her making an effort with Simon was amazing. If his heart was working properly, it would have warmed.
They walked up to the house and knocked. It took only a moment for Kieren’s dad to let them in, looking panicked. He ushered them in and locked the doors immediately after.
“What’s wrong, Dad? What’s happened?” Kieren asked. He looked around. The table was half set, as if in the middle of preparing for lunch they’d stopped. Weapons lay on the table instead of food. Were they expecting an attack or something?
“You didn’t hear?” his mom asked, coming over. She checked them both over franticly.
Kieren looked to Simon for confirmation that his parent’s were acting weirder than normal. Simon looked just as confused and that relieved some of Kieren’s tension. At least he wasn’t the only one that had no clue what was going on. “Hear what?”
Jem turned the television volume up as an answer. A news report was going on. “What can you tell us about the Second Rising that seems to be happening?” a woman asked a professional-looking man in a white lab coat.
“What?” Simon said. “What do they mean Second Rising?”
“That’s just it, Simon. We don’t know. We were in the middle of fixing lunch when Jem turned the news on. This was all over it. No one knows what’s happening.” Kieren’s dad explained. “We were worried. We didn’t- we didn’t know if you two had gotten stuck in it. We don’t know how bad it is out there. We just know that the officials have said to stay inside and keep your weapons close.” The just like last time hung heavy in the air.
Kieren couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How was this possible? Wasn’t the Rising supposed to happen right after the First Risen was killed? At least that was what Simon was told by the Undead Prophet. But, it had been almost a month since Amy’s death. Did this mean-?
“We’ve got to go, Mum,” Kieren said, taking Simon by the hand and leading him back out. They had to get there as quick as possible before any paranoid idiots decided to take matters of the Second Rising into their own hands.
“Where are you going?” his dad shouted out after him. “It’s not safe out there!” Kieren didn’t respond, he just kept going in the direction of the cemetery. He had to know for sure. Hope began to swell in his chest, but he stamped it down. He couldn’t let his hopes get too high just in case.
“Where are we going?” Simon asked after letting Kieren tug him along for a while.
“The cemetery, obviously.” Of course they were going to the cemetery: Amy could be back! His hands couldn’t stop shaking. He was so nervous it wasn’t going to happen. He needed his best dead friend forever back.
“I thought-” Simon stopped himself. Kieren halted at how unsure Simon sounded. He looked back at him. Simon seemed confused and insecure and Kieren had no clue why. What was there to be confused or insecure about?
“What did you think?” he asked gently. During these times it was easiest to gently and slowly coax Simon’s thoughts out of him, he hated showing emotions he thought were weak.
He sighed and looked frustrated with himself. Simon looked down for a moment and then back up, as if he had to look Kieren in the eye when he said it. “I thought you would want to go to the new graveyard.”
He didn’t have to say anymore, Kieren knew exactly what Simon meant, why he was so unsure of himself. In all honesty Kieren hadn’t let himself think of Rick being alive once again. He didn’t know what he would do. What could he do? No, he refused to think of Rick until he saw if he got his best friend back or not. “I want to see if Amy is back first.”
Simon nodded and they continued on their way. The rest of the walk was silent. Kieren had so many thoughts ready to burst out of his brain, and he had no doubt Simon was the same way. He didn’t want to think about Rick coming and what that would mean. He didn’t know if he would be relieved or disappointed if Rick didn’t come back. Did that make him a bad person?
He and Simon had just gotten to a good place. They trusted and understood each other. Had made compromises and declarations. If Rick was back that could change everything. Of course, if Rick did come back, it didn’t mean Kieren had to get back together with him. Rick would expect it, and it was something he had wanted so badly for so long, but did he still want that? Did he still want to be with Rick? The question wasn’t if he loved him still, Kieren would always love Rick. But, love wasn’t enough to make a relationship work, so many other things were needed. Could they work? Could they work out everything that had been a problem before? And what if he did decide to give him and Rick another chance, what about Simon?
Kieren wasn’t entirely sure if he was in love with Simon yet. He knew that he cared for the other man deeply, but was it love? He knew that it would eventually turn into love, could already feel himself on that precipice waiting to fall off the side. He knew if he did Simon would be there to catch him. Simon was always there to catch him. But, was he ready to take the leap?
His thoughts kept swirling around in his head until they reached the graveyard. Almost two dozen people were roaming around, but he didn’t see Amy anywhere. The two walked among each person, trying to find the one they desperately wanted; however, there were no signs of their beloved Amy Dyer.
Kieren felt despair fall over him when they were done. It felt like losing her all over again. He had hoped so hard, but she was gone forever it seemed. He fell into Simon’s arms and they held each other tightly with the dead still wandering around them.
-X-
Again, they were silent for most of their walk to the other graveyard. The town was eerily silent, not that it was loud even when the undead weren’t walking around. When they were almost at the graveyard, Simon stopped them.
“Do you want to do this alone?” he asked. If Rick were back would having Simon there make things more awkward? Probably not. Rick may not even remember either of them being there once he was treated. Did Simon not want to be there?
“If you want to come, I want you to be there.” The man nodded his head once, a quick jerking motion that showed how nervous he actually was for this. Kieren felt the same nerves eating him up as well.
They made the final trek to the graveyard. Not even half the number of people from the other graveyard were in this one. Only seven people were stumbling around.
“Is he in here?” Simon asked softly.
Kieren swallowed before answering, staring at the man straight ahead. “Yeah, he’s in here.”