Work Text:
“Man, I hate this job,” Dan groans, pushing the door open with the heavy case. “Even my feet are covered in goo.”
“Through your wellies and socks?” Phil sounds surprised which he knows he shouldn’t be. This is a dirty job and seems like the universe likes to mess with them. “Should we get full-on hazmat suits for next time?”
Dan scoffs. “There won’t be a next time. I’m serious, I’m quitting.”
Phil rolls his eyes. He knows Dan pretty well to know that he doesn’t mean it. He knows that the default setting of his boyfriend is ‘dramatic’.
“No, you’re not.” Phil puts the case he was carrying down on the floor with a thud and makes his way to Dan. “We’re not. You like this job too much.”
Dan sighs. “I do, yeah. But this is…” He pokes Phil’s chest; it’s covered in the same slimy goo, the only downside of the job. That and the occasional possessions. “We need to come up with a better plan, babe.”
“We do. It can wait, though, we really need to shower first.”
Phil doesn’t even have to look to know that Dan’s smirking and he’s wiggling his eyebrows. He just takes his hand and leads him to the bathroom.
The shower screen is wet, fat droplets slowly rolling down. Phil doesn’t know why his brain is focusing on that when Dan is kissing his neck. Maybe he’s just tired and it’s not that he’s not open to Dan’s advances. Phil loves shower shenanigans as much as the next person. God, he really does love a good shower sex, which, knowing how clumsy he is, is a surprise.
So he grips Dan’s upper arm as he exposes more of his neck and Dan softly bites into it. “You’re right if we get to do this every time we have a job… I’m never quitting.”
“You know we can do this without the job.”
“Where is the fun in that?”
Phil chuckles, but then his breathing hitches as Dan moves his hand further south. This is definitely worth it, getting goo-ed up week after week.
Dan is about to move his hand when there’s a sound. It’s kind of a muffled clattering, coming from the kitchen or the living room, maybe. They both still, waiting for… God knows what. Then suddenly…
“Hey, guys!” says a voice and Dan and Phil practically fly against the tiles.
In front of them, in the steamy cubicle, is none other than Gerald. A co-worker, technically. His off-white, opaque body looks spookier now in the steam.
“Jesus, Ger!” Phil breathes, trying to hide his body and Dan does the same. “We’re off the clock.”
“Ghost hunting never stops,” Dan mumbles, like he always does. It’s seemingly his favourite sentence.
“Covered in plasm? Yikes, not good.” Gerald tuts as he floats around.
“Mate, have you heard about boundaries?”
“What do you mean?” He flutters his ghostly eyelashes and looks around, then he seemingly goes whiter as his eyes grow bigger. “Oh shit, I’m so interrupting!” And with that he rushes away, knocking over the shampoo bottles in the process.
“I fucking hate ghost hunting,” Dan says and Phil agrees.
Ghost hunting is fun and it can be beneficial if you have ghost co-worker who helps you out, but once he interrupts you mid-handjob… Yeah, not good.