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Glenn: I just got into an uber so I’ll be home in about half an hour.
Ingrid: Okay, see you then 😊
Ingrid looked at her phone, set it down on the table and breathed in deeply. It had been four long years since she had last seen Glenn. He had decided to study abroad while she stayed back to help the family business. It was decided long ago that they were going to get married -- he proposed on the last day of summer before he left – but Ingrid wanted to wait for him to return before they started planning their wedding. She had loved him her whole life; she could wait a lifetime more for him. Wasn’t that what love was supposed to be?
But now, he was coming home. She would be reunited with the love of her life in thirty minutes. They facetimed and texted all the time, sure, but this would be the first time since the day he asked her for her hand in marriage that she would see him in person. Despite this, she was surprisingly calm. Maybe the realization hadn’t hit her yet; she had lived the past four years of her life without him, after all. Her reality hadn’t changed yet, either. Her emotions would hit her all at once when he came in. Yes. That would make sense. Ingrid checked her messages again; nope, nothing from Glenn. Even her Fhirdiad Squad group chat – the group chat that her childhood friends made to keep in touch with her while they went to university – was dead. She checked Instagram and nothing came up either. This was going to be a long thirty minutes.
She decided to kill time with youtube videos and sure enough, she heard the doorbell ring. That must be him. Ingrid rushed to the door and opened it without hesitation. Glenn was huge. Of course, she knew what he looked like in pictures and video but seeing him in person was an experience. Ingrid froze, unsure what to do when Glenn took her into a hug.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
She was crushed into his chest, but she tried to worm her arms around him. “I’ve missed you too.”
Glenn released her and leaned in. Oh my god. He was going to kiss her. Ingrid’s face heated up and she instinctually stepped away from him, making him pull back in confusion.
“Flustered?” Yes, that must be it. That would explain it. She nodded, “Yes, very much so.”
“Okay, don’t stress.” He took her hand and kissed it instead. It was for a second – his flesh had briefly met with hers – but just watching him kiss her made her want to die. She breathed in deeply. She was going to be okay.
“Let’s go into the kitchen; I’ll make you some coffee.” Glenn followed Ingrid into the kitchen; she was acutely aware of how big he was compared to her. Was he always this tall? She showed him to a seat and began to brew coffee, trying to cling to the familiarity of the smell.
“How do you like your coffee?” Ingrid asked.
“I… however you like it.”
Ingrid pressed her lips together. Did he even drink coffee? She froze, trying to remember the last time he had mentioned drinking coffee to her but she drew a blank. Oh god. He didn’t drink coffee.
“Do you want tea then?” Ingrid rushed to dump both cups into the sink. Oh god, she really fucked up. She couldn’t believe herself.
“One cream and one sugar will be fine.”
She dug through her kitchen cabinets, looking for anything resembling tea. Finally, she pulled out a packet of orange pekoe and dumped in boiling water before adding in a cream and sugar packet and giving the mug to Glenn. He eyed it for a second – did she do something else wrong? – and set it aside.
“How is everything?”
Ingrid’s mind blanked. She told him that everything had been the same, pretty much. She tended to her parent’s flower shop and helped around the house when she could, and that was about it. She offered him the same question and he began to talk at length about his time in England; how he studied, how hard the tests were, and how he finally got his license to practice here. Ingrid nodded, watching him talk with enthusiasm, hoping to feel something, anything, resembling to what she read in books or vaguely remembered from her teenage years, but she found boredom in its place.
She was bored talking to Glenn.
“Ingrid?” Oh god, she zoned out. Her eyes refocused as she snapped back to attention. “Yes?”
“Well, you haven’t spoken in a while. Is something wrong?” Glenn’s concern flustered her. “No, nothing at all! I’m fine.” Ingrid looked away, unable to meet his eyes. She could feel him staring into her. This wasn’t how her reunion with him was supposed to be. Why didn’t any of this make sense?
“No, tell me what’s wrong.” He reached forward to take her hand; she stared at it, before putting her hand in his.
“I guess I just feel… well I don’t. I don’t feel anything. Is that weird? We’re engaged, we’re supposed to be in love, and I feel nothing.” Ingrid’s eyes began to prickle but she determinedly blinked the tears away. Glenn’s lips thinned.
“No, I’m not surprised. It’s been a long time and so much has changed.”
“You mean you’ve changed.” The tears were falling freely from her face now. “You’ve changed. You’ve been in school, in a new country, learning so many things and I’ve… I’ve just been here, waiting for you.”
“I know. I wish I didn’t have to leave you behind like that, but I wanted to pursue my dreams to become a lawyer. I still care about you Ingrid, but…”
“You don’t love me anymore.” There it was. The truth that she had been running from for the last four years. The one thing she couldn’t admit to herself. It was here, in front of her.
“I don’t think either of us are in love anymore.”
Ingrid put her face into her hands, her sobs wracking her body. Everything that she had wanted was now crumbling in her hands. Or maybe, it was never there to begin with, and she was holding onto a memory.
“I should get going.” Glenn stood up. “Thank you for the tea.”
And he left her there, alone.