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loved you first

Summary:

i've been waiting all this time to finally say it, now i see your heart's been taken, and nothing could be worse.

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loved you first by one direction songfic. aka: the shirbert confession i wanted. the confession i needed. the confession i deserved.

Notes:

hello it's 3 am this is unedited but it's not the worst piece of trash to ever exist just not realistic whatsoever but it's FICTION for a reason. anyway, enjoy :-)

Work Text:

Anne had been frozen solid when she laid eyes on her.

 

She assumed, after the dance, things wouldn’t just go back to the way they were between her and Gilbert. Sure, she wasn’t expecting a courtship, or love letters. But seeing him with a girl- a woman, that wasn’t expected in the slightest. The way he held onto her arm reminded Anne of how he gripped her hand so tightly when they danced. Had it meant it nothing to him?

 

She ran away like a child, pouting because she didn’t get what she wanted. Who she wanted. It had made it even worse when the judges spat out her cake, but she’d take the mortification she felt over the heartbreak she was enduring any day of the week. It should of been her in his arms. It should of been him gripping her waist to prevent her from tripping. She came so close. The ache in her heart was surely killing her.

 

“Anne?”

 

Hearing Gilbert’s voice from behind caused a mixture of anger and despair to bubble over, and she snapped her body towards him. 

 

“It’s fine- I’m fine! Honestly, I wish you two every happiness.”

 

He looked at her, and for a split second she could almost fool herself into believing that romantical gaze was in his eyes again. 

 

“I was just going to say,” he spoke quietly, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Mary would of found that really funny.”

 

Anne tensed up, going to turn away. She couldn’t bare to stand in front of the boy who was making her feel this way. If she had to look at his stupid face one more time, she was going to cry. She turned on her heel, about to make her grand exit when Gilbert stopped her.

 

“Wait,” he called out, with what sounded like desperation in his tone. “Please don’t run away this time!”

 

She stopped dead in her tracks. He had never spoken to her like that. Never had he asked her to stay before. Swallowing her pride, she turned back to him, tears brimming her eyes. If Mary was looking down on her know, she would be laughing, telling her to toughen up and stop the pity party. If Anne wanted anything to change, she’d have to speak up. That part was the scariest. She let herself stare at Gilbert for a second, his face softening before taking a step in her direction.

 

“If you’re upset about the cake, you shouldn’t be. Mistakes happen-“

 

Anne cut him off, finally breaking down.

 

“It’s not about the cake, you idiot! And if you had an ounce of the smarts you claim to have, Gilbert Blythe, then you’d see that what is upsetting me the most is I came so close to being with you! And now, I’m seeing you with her, and my whole world falls apart. But please, don't let me ruin your day. Go back to her, leave me here to suffer!”

 

Gilbert’s heart skipped a beat, and he realized how much he had royally screwed up. 

 

“Anne, I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry.”

 

“Sorry for what?” she spat. “Sorry for dancing with me? Sorry for pretending to be interested in me, only to run off with another woman a week later? Which one is it?”

 

He looked around, realizing how much of a public area they were in. If Winifred’s parents were to see them right now, they’d be on a train back to Charlottetown. He wondered why he didn’t care if they did. 

 

“I’ve been waiting all this time to finally say it, Gilbert- I like you! But now I see your heart has been taken. I can’t stop you from pursuing your own destiny.”

 

“I’m not..” he bites his cheek, fiddling with his cuff links. He remembers asking to borrow them from Matthew, when she stood in the kitchen, hair falling out of her braids and her nose red. He hadn’t realized she had a cold until he was halfway home. “I’m not courting Winifred. I don’t feel those feelings for her.” 

 

Anne’s mouth opened slightly, not sure what to say. Gilbert continued for her.

 

“I don’t want her, Anne. I want you. But it’s complicated, and I’m sorry. I wish I could take back everything from today. I wish I could go back in time and do everything in my power to make sure you know you’re the only one for me.”

 

They both stood in silence, the sounds of the fair filling in the empty space. Gilbert knew it was risky, but he wasn’t in control of his hand when he reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

 

They had walked back like nothing had happened. Anne smiled when the judges awarded tastiest cake, and she had attempted to hold a conversation with Winifred. She even told her she spelled her name with an E, to which Winnie smiled and Anne did too.

 

Anne couldn’t control her future. She couldn’t even really control right now. Seeing Gilbert next to a girl that wasn’t her hurt, even with the knowledge there was nothing serious. She just had to trust Gilbert and her loved each other first.