Work Text:
How fast could a week pass? And how fleetly could a month be over, just like that?
For Loqi, the time had been flying just like that. When he actually held his certificate in his hands, he didn’t want to believe that these ordeals would be over now. That he had made it.
On the day Loqi received his certificate that he could work as an engineer in Insomnia, Cor promised to pick him up in his car. Cor and Loqi had kept up their usual Sunday afternoon meetups.
Other occupants had already started rumors about them. Funnily enough, the two themselves did not even realize how much time they kept spending with each other. So when Cor overheard two elder ladies from upstairs talking about them, he froze for a minute.
“So you think they have something going on?”
“I’m sure. That Nif keeps visiting him.. a lot.”
So people were thinking about them being a thing? Like a couple? Cor shook his head. They haven’t even been dating. Can’t someone just talk with his neighbor once in a while? He decided to let that stupid talk drop. Better to ignore it. Well, he was on the way to the garage and pick his neighbor up to take him out to a nice restaurant. But that was to celebrate achieving the certificate Loqi worked so hard for today. Only a celebration.
Cor pulled up at the building, already seeing Loqi standing outside and waiting. Loqi walked up to the car hesitantly. Could Cor have given a better description of his car other than ‘it’s black’? Because Loqi could swear, every second freaking car in Insomnia was black.
He examined the car more closely, now noticing Cor sitting inside. The car looked like a fancy sports car, just that - it probably was actually fancy about ten years ago. An old model. ‘Just like it’s driver..’ he thought. “Hey” Loqi finally greeted Cor as he opened the door to the front passenger seat.
Cor smiled at him, greeting him with a loud and clear “Hello”. He let Loqi sit down and adjust the seat belt until he asked him about his certificate. “So, you have it?” Loqi reached into his small bag, grabbing a paper rolled up neatly. “Yeah, finally can apply for a fitting job.” “Good job, Loqi.” Cor said in a soft tone before starting the engine of the car and moved his gaze away from his passenger and back on the street.
Loqi felt his heart beating a tad bit faster in his chest, his cheeks slightly turning a shade of pinkish hue. Good job, yes. Cor acknowledged his hard work because he knew it truly had been hard these past six months. Right, Cor knew… and with that, Loqi’s mind drifted off while staring out of the passenger window.
He just remembered again, that day when Cor had used his spare key for Loqi’s apartment for the first time. They both had agreed on giving each other a spare key, mostly for emergency reasons if needed. Both didn’t think they’d actually need to use them.
----
Until that one night when Loqi’s alarm kept ringing at 2:30 a.m. again, but that time, it wasn’t turned off. Not after 5 minutes, not 10 minutes later either. Cor was wide awake at that point and he started to worry. Loqi needed to get up and leave, he didn’t have much time, right?
Worrying that something might have happened, Cor got up and put a shirt and some pants on before he nervously grabbed the spare key Loqi gave him and went over to his neighbor’s door. At first he knocked, thinking maybe Loqi had gotten up but forgot to turn the alarm off for whatever reason. When no one answered, he fumbled with the key in his hands, unlocking the door.
Up until then, Cor had never visited Loqi’s apartment. They always met at Cor’s place, which was fine for him. When he opened the door and went in, he noticed a few things at once. First, Loqi really lived with the bare minimum. Second, it was kind of chaotic.
Cor looked around in the living room, finding books and notes spread out on the table, all in complete disarray. On the other side of the table, he detected a glass and an empty bottle of cheap wine. Cor grit his teeth at the sole thought of Loqi sitting there, drinking alone.
As he passed the kitchen he noticed two garbage bags tied up perfectly ready to be taken out, just that nobody had actually done that. Instead, the garbage can in the corner of the small room already seemed to be full again. Cor tried not to pay it much thought at that moment, making his way to the bedroom.
Slowly, he opened the door to the bedroom only to find Loqi sleeping on a mattress on the floor, sheets in a jumble. Cor barely noted the pile of clothes in the corner of the room, probably dirty ones? He bent down to finally turn off the blasting loud alarm. For a few seconds, he enjoyed the silence before actually getting to the matter at hand - Loqi.
Cor had to squat down, already cursing in his mind about Loqi’s impossible sleeping situation. Softly but firmly, he gripped Loqi at his shoulder and started shaking him. “Hey, Loqi! Wake up!” he tried. Surprisingly it didn’t take long for Loqi to flinch at the touch, dozily but forcefully shoving Cor’s arm away. “Hnghnn..” was the only sound Loqi managed to make before he tried to open his eyes.
“You need to get up..” Cor repeated but knowing already that Loqi probably wasn’t able to. He could smell the cheap alcohol still on him. “Fffuckk…” Loqi half yawned, half slurred out. Cor watched how the blond tried and fumbled to get up, only to fall back on the mattress again. “You should probably rest today.” Cor suggested. He couldn’t take watching Loqi try over and over again.
“Shit..I... I still need that job..can’t just miss..” Loqi mumbled, sounding already a bit clearer than before. “Can’t you call in sick for one day?” Cor tried to reason. Loqi fell silent for a minute. “Guess..yeah..” he finally pressed out. It was then that it had finally dawned on Loqi that Cor had actually used the key to come in and wake him up for work, and definitely saw the whole...situation of his apartment.
“Shit, you really got in here, huh..?” Loqi sighed out, still not able to get up. “Yes, well.. I was worried.” Cor mentioned and continued: “Rightly so. Why did you drink so much..?” Loqi made a sound of discomfort. Well, of course, Cor would ask. “Just had..a few glasses.” he tried, hoping Cor would let it slide.
“A whole bottle is not a few glasses.” Cor stayed firm, he wanted to clear this up now. “A..few more glasses..” Loqi whispered, hoping Cor wouldn’t hear it. But he did. Cor sighed. “Why?” An uneasy silence followed until Loqi managed to say anything. There were several reasons, so many, but he didn’t want to mention any of them. “Couldn’t sleep..” he finally answered. It wasn’t a lie. Just that not being able to sleep was one of the results, not the causes.
“Alright.” Cor finally got up from his crouching position. “Rest up. Do you have any pain killers here?” Again, Loqi fell into a sort of silence that Cor couldn’t quite get. For a second he wondered if Loqi didn’t hear him. “..in the bathroom.. medicine cabinet.” Loqi sighed out, the lack of sleep and the alcohol still in his blood drained his remaining energy.
Without affirming that he had understood, Cor moved out of the bedroom. He made his way into the small bathroom. There was nothing specific in there, but it looked like the cleanest room of the whole apartment. He noticed a shower gel and a shampoo in the shower, a razor, shaving cream and a toothbrush on the sink. The toothbrush looked pretty used up, and Cor made a mental note to tell Loqi to switch it with a new one soon.
He finally opened the small medicine cabinet. It was mostly empty, only for what Cor could recognize for some sort of lotion, and a bottle of prescribed pills. He took the pills out and checked what was written on the bottle. Yes, those were pain killers, but why did Loqi need so strong ones? The bottle looked half empty, so it was probably used regularly.
Cor tried his best to not get lost in any wild assumptions. He had to pinch the bridge of his nose to keep him from getting lost in thought. Slowly, he took one pill out and put the bottle back where he found it. Again, he scanned the rest of the small cabinet, but it was empty except for that lotion. Curiously, he read what it said: “Medical lotion for scars and burns.”
There was a feeling of instantly regretting his curiosity. Cor felt bad, he didn’t mean to pry. Carefully, he closed the cabinet again. Still, his mind went on, he couldn’t stop his thoughts. Now that he’d seen it, it did make sense. Loqi was caught up in an explosion, right? Might get some scars from that. Though he never saw any on him… then again, Loqi was always covered up, and Cor only saw his forearms and hands.
Even now, when he saw Loqi in bed, he wore a long-sleeved pajama and long pajama pants. Cor tried hard to stop himself from thinking too much. He moved on into the kitchen, with the pill firmly in one hand. While searching for a glass in one of the cupboards, he realized that his kitchen could hardly be called that. There was a small fridge, a counter, and two cupboards as well as a sink. No stove, only a microwave.
‘What a sad excuse for a kitchen..’ Cor mumbled to himself. He poured some cold water into the glass he had found and put the glass on the counter. He knew he shouldn’t do this, but he had already reached a state of worrying that he could not ignore anymore. He opened the fridge door and peeked inside.
It was as Cor had expected - mostly empty, some microwavable food inside, as well as another bottle of that cheap wine. Part of him wanted to throw that bottle out into the trash. But instead, he closed the fridge again, sighing audibly. He took the glass and made his way back to the bedroom. “Sorry it took so long..” he said when he entered, putting the glass and the pill down next to the mattress.
Cor then noticed that Loqi had fallen back to sleep. He was lying on his stomach, his face half-buried into his pillow. Cor smiled slightly, letting him rest. He closed the door behind him. It was still too early to call at Loqi’s workplace, so Cor decided to help Loqi out a bit. He cleaned up the table in the living room, sorting the books back into the small bookshelf, leaving the notes neatly stacked up on the table.
After throwing the empty bottle into the trash, he took the two garbage bags and brought them out. Maybe it wasn’t much, but it seemed a lot for Loqi. Loqi always had a tight time schedule, but there should have been enough time for these small tasks. So it wasn’t like Loqi did not have time to do them, rather - he might have lacked the energy.
Ever since that day, Cor tried to get more information about that accident Loqi was in. But there was close to nothing, just a small article with a date and some statistics. It happened about a year and some months ago. Cor had suspected that whole thing had been happening way further into the past. At least four people died, ten were severely injured. There was no mention of any slightly injured, so Cor had guessed that whatever happened to Loqi must have been quite bad…? Still, it was hard for him to ask Loqi directly for more details.
Loqi did his best to not touch the remaining bottle of wine ever since Cor had gone through the trouble of waking him from his drunken slumber. He felt bad for it already, and the fact that Cor had seen his pathetic and chaotic apartment and even cleaned up after him made him just feel worse. He wanted to be mad at Cor for doing that, but he could only be mad at himself. He was so annoyed by his own inability to do a few tasks that might have only taken him five minutes. It felt like a great hassle, and then he just didn’t care about it being that way.
----
Back to the present day, things had been a bit awkward between them. Cor was burning with questions that he did not know how to ask. Loqi was constantly trying to say something but faltered in between. He wanted to thank him and to apologize, somehow at the same time. When Cor finally parked the car, Loqi snapped out of his daze. He focused on the restaurant in front of them. It looked quite fancy and Loqi worried he might not be dressed appropriately.
“This looks really fancy..” Loqi mentioned when he unbuckled the seatbelt. Cor noticed the tension in Loqi’s voice. “It’s okay, really. That dress shirt looks good on you, by the way.” Loqi wasn’t sure he had heard correctly. “My..what..?” “I said, you look good today, Loqi.” Cor mentioned a little louder. Loqi frowned, cheeks turning pink. “Only today, huh?” Loqi grinned slightly. Cor sighed. “That’s not what I meant and you know that.” Loqi opened the car door and only answered with a “Hmmmm..” that he dragged as long until he got out of the car.
When they entered, a waiter approached them, asking if they may have booked a table. “Leonis, I booked a table for two.” Cor answered, and right after that, they were being seated. A different waiter brought them the menu. “Get whatever you want, okay?” Cor reminded Loqi. He feared that Loqi would judge by the prizes of the dishes and feel bad about getting anything expensive.
Even though that was the point, Cor wanted Loqi to have a good, high-quality meal for once. Knowing well what Loqi was eating most of the time if he was eating anything at all. “Alright,” Loqi exhaled. He opened the menu and looked through the items one by one, attempting to ignore the prices that were standing next to the meals. When the waiter returned to ask for their preferred drinks, Loqi ordered plain water. That wasn’t him being humble, though. He solely did not want to drink in front of Cor.
Cor ordered himself a glass of red wine, but he respected Loqi’s order on his drink. He understood Loqi’s intention and therefore did not comment on it. Loqi took his time to decide on a meal. Finally, he picked out a very good sounding fish dish. As the waiter approached with their drinks, Cor ordered himself a steak, Loqi stayed with his decided dish.
While waiting for their meals, they both sat in silence for a few minutes. Cor took a sip of his wine until he eventually managed to ask: “I’ve been wondering for some time now..you came to Insomnia on your own right? What about your family?” Loqi nervously tapped his fingers on the table. “.. my parents and I don’t get along well. I cut off the contact several years ago..”
“Oh.. I see.” Cor didn’t know if he should press any further, or ask what else was on his mind, but his tongue acted faster than his mind could process it. “What about friends?” Loqi stopped tapping with his fingers and clenched and unclenched his hands instead. He looked up at Cor and then down to his hands. Cor knew in that instant, he shouldn’t have asked that either.
“I had one good friend, he also was my coworker. He..uh..died..” Loqi forced out. ‘Right before my eyes.’ was what he thought, but couldn’t manage to speak out loud. He kept staring down at his hands, clenching them tightly now, trying to hide his subtle shaking. Cor cursed himself for asking the most stupid questions at the worst time possible. “I’m sorry, Loqi, I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay..” Loqi tried to assure him, because honestly - Cor couldn’t have known. Still, Loqi was now left with a sickening feeling in his guts, trying to calm back down and get his mind out of unwanted memories. Cor could see his discomfort, and felt even more regret with every passing minute. “It’s not okay, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” Loqi groaned. “I said it’s okay!” he returned a bit too loudly. He didn’t notice it until everyone was staring at him, then started whispering. With the attention drawn to him, he couldn’t stand it anymore. “Excuse me..” he murmured before leaving for the restrooms.
Cor watched him disappear. Fuck, he messed up. He struggled with finding a way out of this dilemma that he brought upon himself. He wanted to celebrate with Loqi and let him have a good time and good food, not trample on his feelings. How could he make up for that?
Loqi was glad that the restroom was empty. He took a few deep breaths, counting to himself. It usually helped him calm down fast, depending on how bad he felt. Luckily he managed to not fall into a full panic attack. He could ignore the memories, shoving them back down into the dark corner of his mind where they came from. He splashed some cold water on his face to clear his mind completely. Another deep breath and he left the restroom.
When he came back, everyone had already fallen back to their own conversations or focused their attention on their food. The waiter had also brought their plates while Loqi was gone. He sat back down but still didn’t manage to look up at Cor. Cor hesitantly reached for Loqi’s hand, taking it in his own, running his thumb over the back of Loqi’s hand. “I really didn’t mean for this to happen. Are you feeling alright now?”
Loqi could see the concern in Cor’s eyes as soon as he looked up. Feeling Cor’s hand holding his felt embarrassing, but at the same time, it soothed him. “I..I’m alright now..” he murmured, wanting Cor to let go of his hand already. Or, did he? Yes, it was confusing and awkward, no matter how good it felt.
“Okay..” Cor smiled at him softly, retreating his hand with a final little squeeze to Loqi’s smaller one. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.” he added, as he realized again that the food was already on the table. Loqi was glad of the release and the welcoming distraction before his cheeks could turn redder than they already were right now.
They both ate in silence, but this time, the silence didn’t feel awkward. They were both enjoying their meals. Loqi had to admit that, after having eaten mostly microwave food ever since he came here, this was his first proper meal in Insomnia. And, maybe a bit begrudgingly so, he had to admit that Insomnian food actually tasted good.
The rest of their evening went on quietly, they shared a few more words, mostly about where Loqi had planned to apply as an engineer now that he was able to. Loqi had a lot of confidence in his knowledge and didn’t fear to get rejected for a job. He knew what he could do, and even though he sometimes acted socially awkward, he also knew how to convince others of what he was capable of.
Cor made sure that the drive back home was as calm as possible. If anything, he didn’t want Loqi to feel any more discomfort than he already made him feel that day. So they both agreed to put some nice music on, something relaxing. Loqi laid back in the car seat, watching the city lights pass by. It felt weird knowing he would have some free time until he started his “new” job as an engineer. Would he miss getting up that early in the morning? Certainly not, but maybe he would miss the work in the bakery, even if just a bit.
Before they parted ways at Loqi’s door, Cor took his hand in his own again, for just a brief moment. “Goodnight, sleep well.” Again, Loqi enjoyed the contact but hated how his face betrayed him so easily, turning a shade of red again. “Goodnight, Cor. And..uh.. thank you. For the food and..everything..” he stammered out. Cor couldn’t contain a chuckle. “No need to thank me. Bye, Loqi.” With that, he broke their contact again and went for his own door, while Loqi entered his apartment. The thank-you that Loqi wanted to convey got lost in his stammering, and he decided to try it again at another time.
As Cor finally settled down in his bed, he still tried to process the information he got today. Loqi didn’t have any contact with his family since several years. His only friend died in the incident. Which meant that, whatever Loqi had to go through afterward, a long stay at a hospital, surgeries, maybe rehab, then fleeing to Insomnia, he managed to do all of that on his own. He had to fight and he had to cope alone, without any kind of therapy or support as his aid.
Cor understood that Loqi was lonely. He also understood that he suffered, physically in some way that he still did not fully grasp, and mentally. The image of Loqi taking his strong pain medication for some unknown agony. The image of Loqi sitting on his second-hand couch, downing a bottle of cheap wine just so his mind would let him sleep. It made Cor want to be there for him, way more than he thought of before.
There was still so much he did not know about his neighbor, the strange and lonely Nif next doors. There was still so much Cor wanted to ask, only to be able to support him, help him heal in any way. Because Cor thought that Loqi had deserved any kind of assistance. He shouldn’t have to fight on his own anymore. Cor would think of a way to aid him, no matter what.