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My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in
Everyone looked worse in the light
There are so many lines that I've crossed, unforgiven
I'll tell you the truth but never "goodbye"...
*****
"Hey."
Tony turned to see Natasha by the door. He was in Rhodes' hospital suite where he will be transferred after a series of tests.
She closed the door behind her and approached him.
"Vision told me you're here."
He sat on the bed and burried his face into his palms. All of a sudden, Tony felt that it was safer to feel weak and to break down.
"What are they doing? I don't get why..." He could go on ranting and rambling but he chose not to. Then he looked at her face, seeking for the same expression that can validate his thoughts at the moment. "It's frustrating."
His jaw clenched with the pent up emotions. Guilt over his and the Avengers' past actions which compromised innocent lives. Disgust at how people with ulterior motives used these situations against them. Disappointment with Steve's reasoning on the Accords. Anger at his troop reaching the point of hurting his team just so they could escape. Worry about his best friend's current condition. Anxiety on what else worse were to come.
"I know." Natasha placed her hands on his shoulders, gently massaging them. "And it's fine if we don't fully understand now."
"I'm tired. I'm so tired." He gently pulled her closer by the hips, leaning his head on her chin. She kissed the top of his hair and his forehead.
"Then you need to rest. Let's cool down for now and look after Rhodes. You eat and you sleep."
There was no response from him.
"Tony." She cupped his face and made him stare straight at her. "Try not to do anything impulsive, okay? We have some time to clear our heads - we do that."
Why did it sound simpler and more tolerable with this woman?
Sighing, he agreed. "Yeah."
Natasha's right, like she always is. For the past months, she has been his voice of logic. She balanced his feelings. She helped him see through things which he couldn't figure out on his own. She put more sense into his head, then his world.
"Yeah." The redhead repeated, as if convincing him further.
When exactly they crossed the delineation of friendship and whatever-they-are-now, he could not pinpoint. But he found contentment with her presence in his chaotic life. There used to be nothing between them, until there was something... and something more.
Tony enveloped her small frame in his arms and embraced her fully as he stood up. "Thanks for coming over."
"Of course."
He felt her arm around his waist and a hand running over his back, as her cheek rested on his chest. They stayed like that for a few moments before he spoke again.
"Glad you're on my side, Tash."
Instead of a verbal reply, she lifted her face to kiss him. He deepened the kiss, also meaning his unspoken words...
I need you here.
Don't leave me.
Just stay.
Please.
*****
I don't wanna look at anything else
now that I saw you
I don't wanna think of anything else
now that I thought of you
I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night
And now I see daylight
I only see daylight...