Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

'Better for your sake to be here rather than with the muggles, Mo. Hogwarts is safe, they know how to handle people…people like you.’

He scoffed to himself. People like him. He could handle himself just fine, luck was just never on his side. 

He hadn’t meant to let his magic slip, had it under control for so long he blended into the human world without issue. He’d been raised into the human world so it hadn't even really been a conscious effort. Then shit went sideways, as they say, and he had a formal disciplinary letter from the Ministry of Magic.

As he was underage and hadn’t caused any issues previously Hogwarts was willing to take him on for the year. Guan Shan failed to see the point. Going for just that final year, without any wizarding knowledge, just so they knew he wasn't some magic-wielding delinquent?

They sent him instructions for getting on to the train along with a basic uniform. He’d thought that if he wore it and walked around like he knew what he was doing and where he was going no one would single him out as the ‘new boy’. Evidently, he stuck out regardless.

His clothes were basic compared to the others – a white dress shirt and black trousers, black boots, a black vest. He didn’t have a tie or a cloak, no coloured markings or a school crest. Two girls with blue ties looked him over as they passed and he glared at them, increasingly conscious. Something on him was obviously off and the double glances he’d been receiving didn't cease to remind him.

Whispers followed as he carried on along the corridor with greater urgency than before.

He got to the headmaster’s study, a teacher accompanying him through the odd layouts of the building. Trinkets and unfamiliar objects were hung everywhere, some looking very antique. If his former headteacher had even half of these things in his office he'd get robbed. His eyes caught a portrait painting and it seemed to blink back at him, dry paint seemingly moving.

Guan Shan didn’t get to study the room much longer before the headteacher addressed him.

"Apologies that we hadn't scouted you out earlier. It will be hard, starting from scratch in your seventh year, however we will try to accommodate as much as possible. Since you're here, we should do the sorting now."

“Sorting?”

“Students are split into the four houses. It puts them with others similar to themselves and encourages some...friendly competition. If you’ll please.” The headmaster gestured him towards a corner.

He went to stand beside one of the many piles of books dotted around the room, one of which held a battered, worn hat. It looked incredibly dirty and incredibly old, and as the headteacher lifted it Guan Shan couldn’t hold his grimace, a slight scrunch appearing on his nose.

No one acted like this was out of the ordinary and Guan Shan tried to mimic this indifference. Like you know what you’re doing. He jerked as it quite literally came alive on his head. The fabric started moving, heavier than it was initially.

This is absolutely ridiculous, he thought, dumbfounded, not understanding how paintings could move and how hats could be alive. 

Not the first one to think so. Now, no song for you since you’re so late, I wonder which house will be your fate-

“What the-“ Guan Shan promptly ripped it off his head and it immediately become unanimated.

“Do not worry, it will sort you into your hous-“

“It was in my head, what the fuck is that-“ Guan Shan usually held back on swearing around elders, however his current shock disarmed that filter.

“This is one of the many things you will grasp in your time here, there is a lot to become familiar with. The hat uses legilimency to communicate with the wearer, do not worry. This is how all students are sorted.”

Guan Shan looked back and forth between the two teachers, then back to the hat and repeated this a couple of times. There wasn’t a single ounce of amusement on their faces.

He gripped the hat tighter and with a slight tremor placed it back. Like you know what you're doing. The voice once again spoke inside his mind, and the intrusive feeling wasn't any less strange, despite him expecting it.

I see you’re not one for long talks. Hm. Ah, an easy one.

That same voice then transferred into the room loud and solid.

“Gryffindor!”

“Wonderful. We’ll give you the rest of the uniform and have someone show you to your dorm.”

“G-Griffin what?”

-------

He held the tie and cloak, going straight past the common room despite his guide advising him to hang around and meet some classmates. He opened the door harshly, keen to get eyes off his back only to swing in on two guys on top of each other.

He stood there, hand still on the doorknob as they- more as one of them tried to break loose. This day wouldn't let him rest.

“XiXi, who is that?”

“J-Just- get off!” A guy with light brown hair - same tie colour as his, Guan Shan noticed - shoved the other, pushing hard enough for him to lose balance on the bed and tip to the floor.

Guan Shan remained fixed until the two stood up. He would've laughed at the spectacle however the embarrassment he felt for all three of them prevented that.

“Are you the new guy? Everyone was talking about you, joining straight in seventh year you know. I’m Jian Yi. That’s Xi Xi.”

Jian Yi stuck his hand out between them with visible interest on his face, patting the side he landed on with the other one. His cheeks were flushed. A fake, happy-go-lucky. Guan Shan didn’t take the offered hand, looking off beyond light blonde hair.

The other guy noticed his gaze and nodded to him.

“Zhan Zheng Xi.”

Guan Shan decided he didn’t like him either. Too flat and too stoic.

“Mo Guan Shan.” He stated.  “Which bed’s mine?”

Zheng Xi pointed to one of four beds, one that was vacant and had no belongings around it, and really Guan Shan should've been able to figure it out for himself. Zheng Xi opened his mouth to say something but Guan Shan pushed past him and Jian Yi, throwing the tie and cloak on top of the cover.

They’d told him his stuff (there wasn’t much, a single suitcase and a plastic bag with hangers) would be carried up to his room but he couldn't see any of his posessions.

“Do you want any help-“

The beds all had a thick curtain railing around them and Guan Shan yanked his shut. He could hear the two shuffling around but ignored it.

There, in a space curtained away from everything else, he allowed himself a heavy exhale, resting his eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever and only now feeling their dryness. He hadn’t let his guard down since the letter of admission, wary that something somewhere was going to jump out and he wanted to be ready. But presently his eyelids were unbearably heavy and the closed off space was unbearably comforting, no eyes on him.

-------

Guan Shan woke up disorientated, stiff uniform still on from the day before. He checked around himself in a daze, trying to rub the fuzziness out of his eyes. The metal rings on the curtain rail screeched open.

“Mo! We volunteered to show you round, and it’s nearly breakfast time! Get dressed and we’ll go!”

“Look here, don’t just fucking barge in and-“

Zheng Xi cleared his throat, coming up to stand behind Jian Yi. His flat eyes made Guan Shan uneasy, and unlike last time his eyebrows were drawn down, small threat in an otherwise neutral expression.

He cleared his own throat, swallowing down the burst of anger. He’ll get familiar with the place first, then worry about image.

“I need to wash up.” He muttered roughly.

“Okay! We’ll be outside.”

Guan Shan’s jaw tightened with the friendly wave Jian Yi flicked on his exit, Zheng Xi right behind. He scoffed. Protective mother duck.

He grabbed the tie and cloak that had fallen to the floor and brought them with him to the mirror. The tie’s fabric shone on the bends where Guan Shan forced it into a knot, loose and messy, fingers getting tangled in the loops and not practiced enough in the motions. Atfer another glance he undid his top button, roughing up the collar.

The colours didn’t look right. There was too much red; red tie, red cloak, red hair. He saw the unsure frown in his reflection and squared his shoulders, forcing his face into an expression that looked more resolute. He needed to start off strong.

-------

Jian Yi and Zheng Xi decided to sandwich him in while they walked to the dining hall, Jian Yi prattling his ears off about anything and everything the whole way.

“And the food refills, but it’s better to grab what you want right away. Also, after that we’ve got potions. I checked your timetable and we’ve got the same lessons, so don’t worry, we’ll help you out.”

Guan Shan wasn’t worried. He smelt the food before he saw it, a large mix of scents wafting into his nostrils all at once. He tuned out most of Jian Yi’s blabbering, skin prickling as they neared the halls. All the chatter was stronger than the smells and his stomach’s growling was overshadowed by a pressing nervousness that he wanted to pretend wasn't there, because Guan Shan was made of stronger stuff.

Jian Yi made way to the table with all the red ties, like his and Zheng Xi’s, and Guan Shan furrowed his eyebrows.

“Aren’t you meant to be on another table?” He asked. Jian Yi’s tie and uniform accents were green.

Jian Yi giggled. “I always sit with XiXi.” He went to link his arm with Zheng Xi’s who hurriedly brushed him off, hasty to sit down.

They sat at the end, Guan Shan opposite Jian Yi and Zheng Xi, brushing elbows with someone younger on his right. You’re in seventh, most people’ll be younger.

The food really did refill itself. Guan Shan's slight nausea made looking (let alone eating) anything on the plates in front of him undesirable, a complete opposite to the way Jian Yi was stuffing his mouth between each word and Zheng Xi’s quiet munching.

He zoned out, not knowing how else to keep himself occupied while everyone else ate, until he heard Jian Yi choke. Someone threw an arm around his neck and hung over him, a dark head bending over and speaking into Jian Yi's cheek.

“Jian Yi, something not suiting you at the Slytherin table? Beginning to miss you.”

“They're just so adorable." Jian Yi said with a cutesy flourish. "Plus XiXi’s here, He Tian.”

‘He Tian’ reached over to grab a piece of toast that was on a plate in front, black fringe momentarily separating to show silver eyes. His voice went straight into Guan Shan’s brain, invasive but not like the sorting hat. Deeper. “Invite him over, m’sure no one would mind.”

He crunched into the toast and mid-bite his gaze flicked up to Guan Shan’s. Guan Shan could see his irises contract as all that grey focused on him. His heart rate accelerated, feeling cornered although nothing was happening.

He unslung the arm around Jian Yi’s shoulder and dropped the toast onto Zheng Xi's plate. “Who’s this?”

Guan Shan spoke without thinking, hackles raised reflexively. This person didn’t need to know him; he already had two idiots trailing around him and that was already past enough. “None of your busine-“

“That’s Mo Guan Shan, he’s dorming with XiXi.”

Guan Shan’s eyebrows pulled heavily over his eyes, anger bubbling up at the unnecessary introduction.

“Mo Guan Shan? That’s an interesting name. I’m He Tian.” He came over from Jian Yi’s side to sit next to him and Guan Shan immediately withdrew, nose scrunching.

“I heard, no need to repeat yourself.”

He Tian’s eyes shone with excitement and Guan Shan disliked that even more, his neck going hot. He pressed closer towards the younger guy he was previously just brushing elbows with, readying to spring.  

He Tian chuckled and leaned closer, hand coming up to his tie.

“Another Gryffindor, there’s been so many brave hearts coming in. It's getting a bit skewed.” He said, while he looped a finger into a dip in the fabric, twisting the tie out of its knot.

Guan Shan slapped his hands away, flabbergasted at his proximity and actions. “What the shit are you doing-“

“Relax. Just wanted to make it neater for you.”

“Well don’t make it neater for me, asswipe-“

But He Tian didn’t listen, just tugged him closer by the two ends of the tie, smiling as he re-tied the fabric. His attempt at it was better, tie primly lining up with the lines of his collar. Suffocating. Cold fingers brushed against his neck as he buttoned the first button and Guan Shan jerked up, bench budging backwards. A couple of heads turned but most resumed eating and chatting. Guan Shan didn't have an appetite to begin with but now he was positively sickened by it all.

He Tian’s eyes studied him over and Guan Shan really disliked the feeling they illicited, and his adrenaline puffed him up like a cat.

He loosened his tie for the second time that morning, undoing the top button so harshly that it popped off its thread. The forceful tugging pulled the stitching on his tie and causing some now loose threads to flop to the side, undoing all the earlier work.

He Tian watched this with nothing more than a brow-raise.

There was a tenseness all over him, both in his guts and in his muscles and in his head and Guan Shan’s eyes dared He Tian to touch him again, eager to show where that would land him. He knew his behaviour was being monitored, like a mini probotation period, however if he was the one provoked then any resulting retaliation couldn't be blamed on him.

He Tian didn’t move into his space again but clearly wasn’t intimidated either. He opened his mouth around an amused smile however Jian Yi cut over him.

“He Tian c’mon, it’s his first day, bully someone else for the time being. Mo, let’s go to potions-“

Guan Shan grumbled in his rough direction, eyes still on He Tian. “Don’t call me Mo.”

Zhang Xi gave him a look again but he didn’t care. With a final glare he stormed out of the dining hall, stomach empty on food and full on bile. He didn’t know where he was going, where his room was or where ‘potions’ was but the desire to stay away from that mess of a trio won over anything else.

Just as he was about to walk out of sight He Tian crooned, voice sticky and clogging through his brain cells, somehow carrying above all the ruckus. “I’ll see you around, Momo.”

The lack of luck was beginning to feel personal - he'd wanted to lay low. All the people to single out and He Tian zeroed in on him.

-------

That day he felt an unrelenting restless energy that wouldn’t go. He needed an outlet yet there was none.

He walked around Hogwarts over and over hoping for something he could do to occupy himself. No one approached him and no one told him off so he continued looping around in circles.

Perhaps not the most efficient way to familiarise yourself with new surroundings but doing things the hard way is more rewarding, in Guan Shan's view.

There was a corridor he kept walking past that seemed a lot quieter than the rest, and on his fifth or sixth circle he detoured into it, intrigued by the unnatural calm. Walking down it there wasn't anything special, just more classrooms and storage areas until he reached its end/

A huge glass stained window with intricate animal designs prettily held in place by thin black metal hung across the wall, a colourful dead end. Light glinted through the glass and projected onto its surroundings in a mix of green blue red and yellow, all bright and saturated. He decided to pause his journey there, genuinely taken by the view. It was odd that it let through so much light, considering it was grey and cloudy outside. Probably enchanted as well, as everything in this school seemed to be.

He sat crossed legged on plush carpeting and stared at shifting colour that shouldn’t have been shifting. It slowly diffused his anger, pretty swirling colours essentially hypnotising him into calmness.

Eventually Guan Shan extracted himself away from the window and made way back to his dorm. It took a lot longer than it should’ve, and he was pretty sure the building moved in its layout. One round certain doors were in one place but on others they were elsewhere. 

Zheng Xi wasn't inside their room but there were two other boys that he hadn’t seen previously. Guan Shan didn't greet either of them and went straight to his bed, noticing his suitcase and bag by the side. He lifted them onto his bed and again shut himself off with the thick curtains.

A slinking zip sounded as he opened the suitcase, checking that all of what he packed was inside. It was, and he didn’t unpack them, instead getting a few things out onto the nightstand and shoving the rest of it under the bed.

A while later he heard the other two guys greet a small ‘Hey Zheng Xi’ as the door clicked open. Footsteps came closer to his bed and he could feel Zheng Xi’s still presence from beyond the curtains and swung them out, huffing an impatient “What.”

Zheng Xi pushed a stack of scrolls under his nose, expression flat and voice flatter. “Notes.”

Guan Shan grabbed them with some hesitance, his grip causing the paper to crease. Nothing on the paper made sense to him, stuff about how you need to approach an unpronounceable animal from the left always (outlined three times) and when to stir clockwise after adding rat tail. In a normal world he’d say 'funny joke jerk' and would throw the papers back.

He tried to read over them later into the night when he kept tumbling in his sheets, unable to fall asleep, but it was difficult to read through with sentences like ‘The raven wax needs to be carefully grated against robin bone to produce the appropriate binder’. Guan Shan confidently understood about fifty twenty five percent of it.

He sighed and threw the scrolls on his nightstand, turning to shut his lamp off, hoping for another attempt at quick sleep.

A couple of minutes into laying down in darkness and still unable to fall asleep he decided to give the notes another go. Zheng Xi didn't have to bring them but he had, the least he could do is read through properly.

The lamp came back on and Guan Shan rested the scrolls on the pillow and read until the morning.

-------

In the morning his curtains were once again ripped open and Guan Shan hissed, paper unsticking from his cheek as he looked up. He knew what time he needed to get up and currently it wasn't that time - he should have had another half hour in the least.

He’d need to discourage before it became routine. Jian Yi had so far been more bearable than Guan Shan had judged he would be, but that didn't mean that the flitting about was welcome. 

He was ready to chew off Jian Yi’s face, nothing too harsh (even if it was too early in the morning) but enough to get him to desist, but froze at the grey eyes peeking at him over Jian Yi’s shoulder. He lifted the cover back up to his chest and glared at Jian Yi. Spontaneous guests in the morning weren't welcome either.

“Don’t. Fucking. Barge. In.” He grabbed the curtain, ready to pull it back and be away from their stares but Jian Yi didn’t relent.

“Mo! You've got...you've got ink on your face..." Jian Yi made a circle on his own cheek, indicating where Guan Shan's was. "Also you missed the whole-“

“Don’t call me Mo.”

“-day yesterday and we didn’t get to show you anything. How are you going to settle in? C’mon.”

Jian Yi made way to grab him out of bed but he batted his hands away. “I can dress myself.” His feet touched the floor as he swung out. Jian Yi looked delighted and budged over but He Tian didn’t, his gaze fixed.

He tilted his head as he spoke, black hair swishing. “Tie wasn’t looking so good yesterday though. Sure you don’t need some help?”

Guan Shan glared at him too and turned to Jian Yi, voice hard. “What’s he doing here?” 

He Tian answered for him, smile smug and annoying. “Just visiting my Griffy friends.”

"Wasn't asking you." Guan Shan hoped that he wasn’t included in the ‘Griffy friends’ category, because the only other Gryffindor present in the room was Zheng Xi. He stood from the bed, feet grounded in carpet. He and He Tian were nearly matching in height, both taller than Jian Yi. “Are you even allowed here?”

“Momo!” He Tian gasped, bringing a hand to his chest, his pale fingers clutching over a green tie. His face didn’t match the upset at all, didn’t even try to make a serious attempt. “You hurt my heart!”

Why they deemed it okay to give him these nicknames he didn’t know, and He Tian made it especially irritating. “Don’t fucking call me Momo-“

“Jian Yi’s here yet you don’t say anything to him.”

Guan Shan bit down the interruption, teeth grinding on the snap. Jian Yi doesn’t grate into his brain with every syllable. All of them are annoying but He Tian was unpleasantly so (and he'd barely talked to him for five minutes). He knew He Tian was implying the whole Slytherin in Gryffindor dorms issue, but Guan Shan didn't care about that. He’d noticed how the students tended to group more within their own house and how there was a constant underlying hostility, but this wasn’t something Guan Shan was primed into and therefore wasn’t sensitive to.

He was however very sensitive to He Tian, body rejecting his presence like a nasty allergy and he wanted relief from it. It's never a good sign when your whole body tenses at just the sight of one person and Guan Shan is on good terms with his gut feeling, it's fairly reliable (as reliable as these things can be, at least).

“Just go outside.” He told Jian Yi. Zheng Xi had already left the room with Jian Yi’s bag on his shoulder.

Jian Yi stuck his tongue out in another cutesy smile and bounded out to Zheng Xi. He Tian didn’t shift.

“Shy Momo? Want help with the tie? Also,” He Tian tilted close to him, a soft finger gently brushing over the words inked into his cheek. "Zheng Xi made a mistake. Raven wax isn't grated 'against' robin bone but into it."

Guan Shan spluttered out a few swear words, frustrated that he was hassled to this extent and it wasn’t even eight, that his anger was already simmering, preparing to boil. Too much cortisol is not healthy, and these people are making it hard to not stress.

He definitely didn't want nor need help with the tie. He managed a blunt "No" and harshly rubbed the ink off his face.

He Tian laughed on his exit and Guan Shan hated the careless strut in his walk. The guy had an air to him that said ‘untouchable’, and Guan Shan wondered what enabled him to afford it so easily. 

He'd unluckily landed into a group of very troublesome people. One maybe more so than the others...he didn’t buy into the house trait rubbish, but there was something serpentine in He Tian’s temperance, something slow and camouflaged and coiling. This was the type of person Guan Shan would avoid completely - the instinct to back off told him not to meddle.  Guan Shan could’ve been a lot more explosive, could’ve already started a fight (would already have if he was back home) but his self-perseverance won out.

Getting dressed he couldn’t find his tie. He’d thrown all of his uniform over the chair the previous night but it was nowhere in sight. He ruffled through his suitcase to double check without luck. Pulling the cloak to partially cover over the white where red and gold should be resting he walked out, nothing but a single biro pen in his pocket. He probably dropped it.

-------

Again he was stuck between Jian Yi and Zheng Xi, He Tian at the end of their little foursome walking-row. They came up to loosely queue outside a classroom, waiting for the other class to filter out. Jian Yi prodded his chest as he noticed the absence of a tie.

“Where’s your tie Mo?”

“Dunno.”

Zheng Xi spoke up for the first time that morning, focused on the front. “They deduct house points for uniform, people won’t like you for it.”

Guan Shan didn’t care. Not making friends came easier than making them, and that wasn't his priority either way.

He Tian leaned his shoulder into the wall to stand next to him, eyes dancing around Guan Shan’s face. “Good thing I’m here, Momo.” His grey irises were light and showed too much clarity, each microfibre fully traceable yet simultaneously closed-off.

Guan Shan felt hot under the inspection, the mounting anger heating up a couple of degrees as he spotted what He Tian was waggling.

In his hand he held a red tie, gold and red threads loose on one side.

“Why the fuck do you have that.” He didn’t pay attention to the rest of their classmates filing into the classroom, Jian Yi and Zheng Xi not waiting up.

He Tian ignored the question and dodged Guan Shan’s swiping hand. “Ah-ah. I just want to help out. Be an example to our younger students, improve house relations.”

“Bullshit. There’s no one out here to see your ‘example’ behaviour' anyway.” He went for the tie again but He Tian reached it above him, goading. Immature asshole. “What are you, fucking five? Give me the tie.”

“You’re not being very friendly Momo. Be nice and I’ll be nice too.”

Guan Shan doubted that to the max, could guess by the glint in He Tian’s eyes that he was not going to ‘be nice’.

Guan Shan could feel his own anger heating, an optimal level of adrenaline trickling through him for a fight, but his body wouldn’t let himself do anything. There was some sort of misplaced fear he couldn’t identify, and where his anger warmed him up that same fear cooled him down. It was enough of a coolant to keep the fists at his side. “Why don’t you fuck off.”

He could live without the tie, that wasn’t the problem. He Tian taking his possessions and infuriating him too close to the limit was the problem. They weren’t familiar enough to fool around like that. Wouldn't ever be familiar to fool around like that. He wanted to shove He Tian, unbalance him.

“Ah don’t be like that.”

He swallowed, dry throat working around nothing. He Tian lifted his collar and brought the tie around his neck with the most irritating of smiles on his face, tugging Guan Shan closer to himself, a repeat of the scenario in the dining hall. He made the tie as neat as last time, and Guan Shan could feel the ice in his fingers. 

He Tian withdrew his hands but remained standing close to him. “There. Looks good. Unlucky it ripped though.”

“Luck’s a stingy bitch.” Guan Shan shoved past him into the classroom, He Tian’s steps steady behind him. 

Most seats were filled up and they didn’t have to sit together. Guan Shan wanted to feel relieved but couldn’t, because He Tian’s eyes were fixed on him the whole hour.

He tried to pay attention but again not much was making sense, a lot of ‘So as we learnt last year’ and ‘what you were taught about it in fifth year applies here as well’ not helping him. He also didn’t have any textbooks or scrolls like the others so there wasn't anything to concentrate on other than his thoughts (and he was determinedly ignoring He Tian).

Guan Shan had the energy to lash out at him, could do some sort of damage but had no desire to deal with the consequences. No power to deal with the consequences, which brought about a strange sense of defeat. 

Maybe he needed to work on making his boundaries clear. Clearer, because some seem to be bulldozing straight through without reservation. 

Chapter Text

As his first couple of weeks passed a few things quickly became apparent.

Firstly, He Tian was popular. Head boy popular. It wasn’t that surprising, people like him always attracted attention, be it good or bad.

People swarmed to him, asked to sit next to him in lessons and the dining hall and hung around for his Quidditch practices.

The Slytherins especially haloed around and would always find a way to refer back to his glittering achievements.

‘He Tian did this in fourth year, first Slytherin to do so!’

‘Only He Tian could do that well, isn’t he amazing!’

‘Yeah, He Tian set the current record and it hasn’t been topped yet.’

The popularity was also boosted by the fact that he came from a pureblood family, a natural born wizard. This was some sort of pedigree marker, apparently.

Guan Shan didn’t care but that was a touchy topic among other students. Slytherins valued that little detail the most and never failed to drop it into conversation.

(Funnily enough, the controversy with all those traditional bloodlines were always skimmed past).

Students loved him, teachers loved him, everyone loved him and yet Guan Shan wasn’t convinced. The way he saw it an asshole was still an asshole, regardless of achievements and accolades.

This popularity plus He Tian’s insistence to stick and annoy the soul out of Guan Shan inevitably put him into the spotlight too, and he’d gained a bit of a reputation.

He wasn’t in any major favour of the attention being around He Tian brought, but once people start you can’t make them stop, the ensuing gossip was inevitable. He responded to them in his usual prickly way. No one tried making friends or on the reverse of that bully him, however he could always hear background murmurs.

‘Some thug, used to beat people up for money.’

‘One of He Tian’s butlers, just acting undercover to blend in with the students. Guess a house elf isn’t good enough.’

‘He doesn’t even have magic - a squib the headmaster felt sorry for.’

‘Sorting hat’s first mistake in a century.’

He tried avoiding He Tian as much as possible to reduce the connection people made up between them but the spotlight persisted. He Tian persisted too, even more persistent than the persisting persisters.

Secondly, he was given a lot less work and had a lot less subjects than the others. Again this didn’t bother him much, the teachers had been lenient. He would only be tested on the core subjects, while the others in seventh year had to pick a bunch of additional lessons.

This meant that while Jian Yi and Zheng Xi were attending those filler lessons Guan Shan would be by himself with often too much time on his hands and nothing to do with it. Everyone kept stressing about N.E.W.Ts but Guan Shan couldn’t relate to their urgency.

Otherwise he settled in fine. Refining his magic came slowly (so slowly in fact, that most of the time it seemed like he couldn't do it at all. That one accident back in the human world must've been some odd fluke) and there were kids doing miles better but he just had to get through this year, then he’d go back and forget this whole Alice-In-Wonder-Land of an experience.

They could strongly recommend for him to stay now but once he’s an official, graduated adult those ‘recommendations’ will hold nothing.

Today was on of the days where he had a lot of free time and practically no lessons, so he retreated to a quiet area. He found a lot of those, little nooks and crannies here and there, however had to abandon them because He Tian also found them. Has been constantly finding him. Guan Shan’s running out of safe spaces.

“Stop fucking hanging on me, go annoy someone else.” He growled, shaking his shoulders to move the other off.

“You just happen to be the perfect height.” He Tian laughed and rested his weight heavier on his shoulders, arms swung over to his front. Guan Shan took quick steps forward to dislodge him but wasn’t successful.

Guan Shan scowled forward at the girls that had stopped to watch and they dispersed with soft giggles. He stumbled under He Tian’s weight, the distribution of it all wrong and unbalancing. “Your Patronus should be a leech. Would reflect the inner spirit well.”

“It would, wouldn’t it?” He Tian’s mouth was too close to his ear and his spine juddered with little zings. Always too fucking close.

“Move.” He bent forward to throw He Tian off as he said it and felt the beginnings of happiness when He Tian finally did tip over, but this was short lived, because he was still latched onto Guan Shan and naturally had to force him down too.

The fall forced his lungs to compress out an oof  and He Tian sniggered lowly from the floor. There were few other laughs bouncing around the corridor and Guan Shan flamed up, whisper-shouting to avoid any more looks. “Do you have to fucking cling like that?!”

He Tian smiled at him, the usual self-pleased ‘I can do anything I want’ and got up, holding out a hand which Guan Shan didn’t take. “You know Momo, friendship requires effort from both sides.”

“Yeah, so take the hint.”

He Tian huffed, and for once his eyes weren’t amused at Guan Shan’s antics, flat and uninspired. Bored. It didn’t promise good things.

Then they suddenly shone, mood lightened in a snap, and he swung Guan Shan closer to his side as they walked, breath puffing into his space again. “Want to go out?”

“No.” Guan Shan made his pace faster, not wanting to get caught in whatever plan He Tian had just cooked up. People do all sorts of things when they’re bored and He Tian is craftier than most.

“No?” He Tian checked, a very particular quality to his tone.

“No.”

-------

“Momo, which one do you want?”

They ended up going (dragging Guan Shan) to Diagon Alley using floo. Guan Shan still felt queasy, both from the journey itself and from He Tian’s explanation of the concept of splicing along the way. But. He made it in one piece. After that experience he could say for sure that muggle transportation held nothing to floo networks in the inducing travel sickness department.

He hadn’t yet been anywhere in the wizarding world outside of Hogwarts and the environment was almost overwhelming. Everything was too dynamic and too wacky. Posters moved, stuff was flying through the air (animals and creatures and inanimate yet also somehow animate objects) and there was a general buzz of more concentrated, live magic. Less lawful to all the magic use rules in Hogwarts. 

He Tian walked him to shop after shop, trying to entice him to buy stuff. Guan Shan didn’t bring any money and didn’t have any money so refused each time. The currency was different anyway. He still didn't quite understand how a whole separate world was operating alongside his without being seen.

Interestingly He Tian did have money but had been reluctant to buy things, holding back. Based on the rumours Guan Shan's heard it didn't seem like He Tian's family was in any shortage of wealth.

Eventually they reached a place he thought was a pet shop but probably wasn’t, because none of the animals seemed like they were legal to keep.

"Hey," He Tian nudged him again, "Which one?"

“None.”

“You’ll need to get one. It’s useful to have pets. They’re different from the ones you have in the muggle world.”

He Tian bent over to a caged owl, sticking his finger past the metal wiring. Guan Shan was sure it was going to peck him (hoping it would) but instead the owl brushed into it with its beak and hooted.

“Never seen you with one.” A lot of students had pets. Jian Yi had mentioned he had a brown rabbit in his room and there were a lot of cats roaming around at night. And of course the owl spectacles at breakfast, hoards of birds flying in to deliver letters (and the occasional howler - those gave him regular heart palpitations because he never knew when to expect them).

He Tian moved away from the owl to peer into a container that displayed toads. “We have owls at my estate.”

Guan Shan considered the idea. He didn’t mind animals, had a hamster when he was younger and it survived to five. Still, he couldn’t afford to get one and even if he could he wouldn’t have money to look after it. “Do they sell leeches?”

He Tian looked away from the toads, voice monotone on the reply. “You’re so funny Momo.”

Maybe the joke was a little good and maybe Guan Shan was a little proud, because a small smile appeared on his face. “Shut up.”

He Tian walked back over to him, too close as always, and pulled him forward further into the shop by the forearm. “They do have other bloodsuckers though.” He lifted a hand up to Guan Shan’s jaw and gently tilted it to the left, his lips barely an inch away from his cheek. “Look.”

Guan Shan huffily brushed him off, cheeks pink and slapped He Tian’s arm a few times to show the gesture was unappreciated. “Could’ve just pointed, asshole.”

“Do they not teach muggles that it’s rude to point?”

“Ruder to touch someone’s fucking face.”

He Tian had indicated towards a section that was unnaturally shadowed away from the rest, magic cocooning the area in darkness save for single red lightbulb glowing in the corner. He approached it slowly, sensing the need to be quiet.

Leathery pods hung from the ceiling, and once he focused on it he could make out furry heads tucked into thin wings. Bats. A little ear flickered as he made a step forward and he quickly aborted the movement.

“Are you an idiot, you can’t keep those as pets.” He whispered. “Why are they even here. Does this shop have a license?”

“We’re not in Knockturn, I'm not that dodgy. You don’t listen to me Momo, these aren’t the same as you get in the muggle world. Do you want one?” He Tian had also made his movements quieter, voice at a low and pleasant frequency.

“I told you like five times. No. Look, that's six now.”

“I think you do.”

“Do not. Let’s go back.”

He Tian sighed and they walked away and out of the shop back into the thick throng of people. He Tian's agreement came too quickly and he should've questioned it but got distracted by a food stall before he could give it any more thought.

Something warm and steamy was cooking on the wheeled station and the sweet smell of fried doughnuts wafted over to them. His mouth watered, seeing the vendor dip raw dough into a fryer and the fluffy gold rings that she took out before coating them in puffed sugar, grease sizzling and melting the granules.

He Tian’s side vibrated next to him as he spoke. “Doesn’t that smell nice.”

It did however Guan Shan still didn’t have any money and he turned his nose in the opposite direction. “No it doesn’t. Let’s go.”

“I’m going to get some. Want one?”

And owe He Tian something? He already hovered enough without anyone asking and Guan Shan didn’t want to give him an actual reason to do so because then it wouldn’t end.

“No.” He marched off back towards the Leaky Cauldron, the place they’d flooed into, ignoring the pangs of hunger that his stomach decided to exhibit at the separation from the doughnuts.

A few moments later He Tian caught up to him, lazily inserting himself to his side again. He had a doughnut ring in his hand and a whole box under his other arm. Guan Shan watched out of the side of his eye as he bit into it, oil squeezing out from its bready pores and sugar powdering around He Tian’s damp lips.

He Tian looked at Guan Shan and slowly licked it off with a smirk. The action made his neck heat and he didn’t know why, biting the inside of his cheek because he didn’t have a doughnut to bite into.

“Don’t even ask, don't want it.”

“Just finish mine. I’m full.” He Tian moved the ring away from his mouth and hovered it near Guan Shan’s which he promptly pushed away, getting a nose-full of sweet vanilla.

“You only took one bite, how can you be full. Stop being stupid.”

“You don’t have to pay me back. Just sharing with a friend.” He Tian waggled the doughnut between his fingers, tacky smile not waning.

“No. And you’re gross. I don’t want your half-chewed doughnut, think I want some sort of disease?” Guan Shan set his jaw tight. He Tian just kept pushing and pushing. He didn’t want to go out, didn’t want a pet – the bats were cute but that didn't matter – might want a stupid doughnut but doesn’t want it courtesy of someone else’s money. He Tian’s especially.

He Tian chuckles and withdraws the doughnut. “Alright.”

Guan Shan narrowed his eyes. He Tian was dismissing things with too much ease. He continued like that for a few moments, trying to discern what was up. He Tian looked back with an expression equally as innocent as Guan Shan’s distrusting one.

Eventually Guan Shan gave up because He Tian’s eyes didn't give anything away. He only had so much processing power before his brain gave up. He knew this wouldn’t be the end of it, that He Tian would never be so docile, however there wasn’t much he could do. Accuse He Tian of being sketchy maybe, but he doubts that would get them anywhere.

“So? We gonna head back?”

He Tian hummed around the doughnut and they made their way.

------

The next morning Jian Yi jerked his curtains over to wake him only to scream and let go. This prompted Zheng Xi to sprint to his bed over to Jian Yi and Guan Shan to sit up violently enough to drop him out of the bed. He looked around in a flash and didn’t see anything. The switch from laying peacefully to falling caused his head to go woozy with the rush of blood and his head pounded in a pulsing rhythm.

He whipped to Jian Yi, rounding up into his space, growling. “That’s not fucking funny. Let people fucking sleep in the fucking morning!” This lets-wake-Guan-Shan-early business was just not going to continue.

“It’s not a prank! There’s a r-rat on your bed!”

Guan Shan was about to get his pillow and whack it at him but Zheng Xi stepped in front. Mother duck instinct: activated.

Guan Shan really wasn’t in the mood. He had to deal with the physical manifestation of a headache that was He Tian for the majority of yesterday and Jian Yi couldn’t let him sleep the extra ten minutes. He was going to shove Zheng Xi aside but the other pointed. Not to the bed but upwards.

“There.” He said, face stoic.

Guan Shan followed the finger, pillow halfway to Zheng Xi’s face, and sure enough there was a black something hanging from his bed post. “What the…”

He walked closer, head craning up sideways and saw a little ear twitch. A cute, vaguely familiar ear twitch. 

“Of fucking course. Wouldn’t have been that easy, would it.” Guan Shan gritted to himself.

“Mo, w-what is it?”

“A bat. Don’t touch it. Where’s the Slytherin common room?”

Jian Yi told him, pale eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “But why? You can-“

“I’ll be back.”

Jian Yi went closer to the bed and he tersely repeated himself.

“Don’t touch it!”

He pulled his boots and made way for the door, seeing an open box full of doughnuts on their table and went even redder with rage.

The closer he got to the Slytherin common room the more Slytherins he saw and it put him off whack, used to the Gryffindor layout, but he charged on.

He Tian was in their common room, sitting on an armchair with a book on his lap and a group of people surrounding him. He saw Guan Shan in the gaps between bodies and smiled, far too pleased with himself.

Hearing his angry stomps the little gang parted like a protective barrier giving way. He Tian didn't move a muscle.

He began shouting before he reached him, fists clenched tight enough to feel his tendons strain under the tension. “You fucking chicken dick. I told you I don’t need shit from you yet it’s all over my room.”

“Just a friendly surprise Momo, no need to get angry.”

There was ‘no need to get angry’ because Guan Shan was already seething. He Tian’s condescending cock of the brow on the ‘angry’, the slight emphasis on the word, only worsened things. “No need to get fucking angry? Stop fucking pushing shit on me-“

“-Let’s talk in my room, yeah? You’re half naked.”

Guan Shan snapped his mouth shut so quickly it made his teeth bounce. He forced himself to calm, at least externally, and regarded He Tian with as much cold dislike as he could muster. “Leave me alone. Okay?”

He tolerated He Tian shoving into his space and having his arms everywhere, tolerated his insistence to drag Guan Shan around but there were some things he wouldn't tolerate. Friends don’t box you into discomfort the way He Tian does. It doesn’t work like that. At least not in the way Guan Shan understands it. He’d rather have no friends than have shit friends, and the (lack of) friendship configurations in his life reflected that belief.

He Tian wasn't smiling by the time Guan Shan turned to leave, regally sitting on the armchair with a displeased curl to his lips.

Yeah, you miscalculated, asshole.

Whispers were audible well beyond the common room but it was all white noise to Guan Shan.

He didn’t register that his mind supplied dislike rather than hate.

-------

The following few days he doesn’t see He Tian. 

His mood was low so he ate all of the doughnuts, out of spite he tells himself, and bonded with his nocturnal roommate.

Chicken (as the bat had been named) was a surprisingly joyful companion. She chittered at night and Guan Shan always left a crack in the window so that she could fly around and hunt outside.

He Tian was right about her being different from normal bats – she was a lot more interactive and he could swear she understood him more often than not, responding to his rants with head tilts and high pitched squeals.

That day he’d voluntarily gone to the library (a first) and took out two whole books on bats that he actually read through, Chicken tip-tapping over the pages and occasionally snuffing at his fingers. 

Jian Yi and Zheng Xi cleverly avoided him (mother duck reading the mood and distracting Jian Yi away from him), kept the interactions to a minimum which he appreciated. Eventually his anger subsided and the ‘don’t approach’ aura thinned out.

All the time alone allowed for a lot of self-reflection.

Guan Shan had overreacted, he knew that. He’s been around assholes who couldn't take 'no' before and didn’t give them two glances. He Tian just angered him in a way he didn’t know how to deal with. Always elicited a reaction which for some reason Guan Shan couldn't contain.

He wished that in the moment he'd said something else, maybe approached the issue with more tact rather than impulsively blowing up then and there.

All things considered He Tian was annoying but after the first few weeks it was almost...an amusing kind of annoying. A type of annoying that was fun to bounce off of. 

It was difficult for Guan Shan initially because He Tian always brought on some sort of challenge - they'd clashed a lot. He Tian was all sly smiles and easy words until Guan Shan pressed on particular triggers and didn't react according to how He Tian predicted he would. A delicate act to balance but something had been coming together and working over the past few weeks.

On that day Guan Shan had just temporarily lost that balance. But whatever. What's done is done.

At the very recess of his mind one thought dug right into the sulci and wouldn’t budge – the fact that He Tian had such an explosive effect on him was an indication of something. He didn’t want to acknowledge that little something and therefore didn’t, but he knew it was there.

Chicken flapped over to him with a soft squeak and he realised he’d forgotten to open the window.

-------

Another day and he found himself at the glass-stained window.

Like last time he got stuck on the colours, glass figures obviously static yet obviously alive, colours bleeding into each other depending on how the magically enhanced light angled into it.

It brought a dead calm over him, clearing his mind of anything other than the view in front of him. Guan Shan sat crossed legged on carpet and remained fixed there. So fixed he didn’t hear footsteps approach him and didn’t sense someone crouching to sit next to him.

“Pretty, isn’t it Momo?”

Guan Shan didn’t look away from the window. “What do you need?”

“For you to look at me like you look at that. But it’s okay, I’ll work through it slowly.”

Guan Shan blushed at the cheesiness, feeling embarrassed for He Tian because the other was incapable of embarrassment. “Why- How can you always spew shit like that.” He muttered. They haven't seen each other for days.

“Need to get your attention somehow. You get focused on all the wrong things. Or focus too much on everything.”

He kept his eyes resolutely where they were. Guan Shan wasn’t sorry for He Tian, he wasn’t, but maybe he shouldn’t have snapped like he did. Looking back on it it was such a small thing to get pissed at, doughnuts and a bat.

At the root of the anger was shame, guilt. He Tian kept putting him out of his comfort zone, and not in short burst but for prolonged periods of time. It rubbed him raw and exposed his weaknesses loud and clear – he couldn’t adapt fast enough, was too brittle and too cautious. Being confronted with your faults all the time didn't put one in the greatest mood.

He couldn’t relax around He Tian because he wouldn’t let himself and this constant hyper vigilance was unnecessary. Unnecessary but habit. The anger just masked well over the other issues, easy and convenient and quick and that's why it was the first thing he turned to.

“You have everyone’s attention always, shut up.”

“Well yours is the only one that matters.”

Guan Shan took a slow and steady breath in. “Whatever-“

“Momo I’m sorry.”

Guan Shan’s head twisted so fast to He Tian it nearly unscrewed from his neck altogether. “You what-“

“I said I was going to be nice if you were going to be nice, and you were being nice but I wasn’t. I have trouble reading you, sometimes, and got a bit too eager.”

Guan Shan had no words or maybe he had too many, but either way nothing came out. He Tian turned to him as well, a myriad of colours distorted around the contours of his face, and Guan Shan was hooked on the view. It filled the grey in his eyes with something warm and bright, something illusory, made them invitingly piercing. Like a lure.

Guan Shan could feel the heat in his face but didn’t turn away, just lowered his head to the empty space between them. “You just fucking cling and cling don’t you.” It wasn’t direct forgiveness but he hoped He Tian heard it.

“It’s the only way leeches can thrive Momo. Can’t help our nature sometimes.” He Tian said as he stood up and offered his hand.

Guan Shan took it half-dazed and nodded. He tried to make it look dismissive and nonchalant but who knows what the result truly looked like. He helped him up, hand strong and steadying.

He Tian walked him back to his next lesson, hanging an arm around his shoulders, air lighter between them. Guan Shan still grumbled and swatted him, still tried to swear him away but there was a different quality to it all, a more playful push-and-pull. He'd managed to climb back on the line, a mutual effort this time.

This was probably exactly what He Tian had wanted, had the whole fall-out planned. Guan Shan couldn’t read the truth from his eyes, but it was close to something genuine and that he could accept.

Chapter Text

“Why’s He Tian not here anyway? I never see him studying.” Guan Shan grumbled. Jian Yi had persuaded him to come study with him and Zheng Xi in the library, a roll of scrolls and books already in hand. He would’ve refused except Jian Yi had made multiple notes throughout the term for him and he needed to repay for it somehow.

Jian Yi paused his humming to reply, still writing. “Doesn’t need to. He always marks high.”

Guan Shan rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Of course”. He Tian seemed to never have to struggle with anything. He wondered whether that effortless obtainment of everything was an advantage or a hindrance. Sure, it’s nice when things come easy but there’s no reward of having worked for it. Did it matter if it was earned or automatic, as long as it was a win? He Tian didn’t make it easy to assume and Guan Shan would never ask.

His own page had little writing and he’d lost concentration after marking the second full stop, just about managing two concise sentences (truthfully they could’ve easily been merged into one but Guan Shan wanted to show that he’d been at least a little productive...even if he was fooling himself).

Again Jian Yi stopped humming to add something else. He looked up at Guan Shan, eyes lightly shining with tease. “He’ll come today though.”

“Yeah? What gives?” Guan Shan slowly swung back and forth on his chair, supported by just the two wooden legs and arms pushing against the desk.

Unexpectedly it was Zheng Xi who replied, not lifting his head from his textbook. “You’re here.”

Guan Shan’s paused mid swing. “The hell is that supposed to mean?”

Jian Yi giggled, bringing Guan Shan’s attention back to him instead of Zheng Xi. “C’mon Redhead, if I need He Tian it’s easier to just go looking for you.”

“Who’re you calling Redhead? And that’s not true.” Guan Shan tried to make his voice angry but there was no heat to it and something edging on sulky came out instead. “It’s not my fault he fucking hovers.” He muttered, brows pinching at the suggestion.

“Aw so you don’t mind me calling you Mo?”

Guan Shan was going to deny this but Jian Yi waved at something behind Guan Shan with a wonky smile.

“And speak of the devil.”

He didn't need to guess who it was, 'He Tian' and 'Devil' were basically synonymous. As if on cue the underside of He Tian’s chin rested on his head, and he felt vibrations ring into his scalp as He Tian spoke.

“A study group and you guys don’t invite me, how mean.”

Guan Shan’s heart rate quickened, whether it was He Tian's presence or the fact that He Tian had unbalanced him on the chair and for a brief second he thought he would flip off it altogether. He Tian held the back of the chair to steady it, all four legs grounded back onto the floor.

“He Tian! How lovely of you to join us. We were just talking with Mo about how you-“

Guan Shan threw his pen at Jian Yi “-Shut up! And you, just sit down!” He Tian’s lips kept brushing into his scalp and he wasn’t a fan of the shivers it induced. As he commanded it however his head naturally turned up to find He Tian’s face, but with their current…layout this meant that he butted right into He Tian’s chin with a lot of quick force.

Jian Yi snorted and Guan Shan saw a flash of a smile on Zheng Xi as he stood to examine the damage.

“Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to-“

“It’s alright Momo, but you-“

“Okay, just maybe keep your-“

“-should kiss it better.”

Guan Shan spluttered and suddenly the scene got all too busy. Jian Yi laughing, Guan Shan’s face hot and embarrassed. He heard himself throwing semi-coherent swears at He Tian, whose nose was beginning to bleed. Zheng Xi tried to shush them all, everything combining to make a lot of layered noise.

In a worry and not thinking straight Guan Shan undid and shoved his tie under He Tian’s nostrils, hoping it would help the bleeding and give him something else to focus on other than He Tian’s increasingly dark expression. Maybe in the hurry his movements were a touch too harsh as there was an oddly echoing crunch of cartilage.

A very solid wave of dread hit Guan Shan and he kind of froze, tie smushed into He Tian’s nose, Jian Yi laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach and Zheng Xi nearly popping a vein trying to contain him.

Very quickly a librarian intervened and forced their group out, warning about a single-week ban, although all of them were too preoccupied to care about that. Guan Shan was as close as you could get to baking in embarrassment as they exited, hand awkwardly fixed on He Tian’s face, He Tian himself unnervingly quiet. Jian Yi hadn’t stopped laughing and Guan Shan didn’t even want to look at Zheng Xi.

-------

The four of them sat in the nurse’s office, He Tian told to sit still while the assistant nurse went to look for another nurse that knew the spell to fix back his nose. It wasn’t broken, but the soft cartilage had been popped out of place and needed a bit of finessing. Jian Yi was the first to break the silence, completely disregarding the aura leaking out from He Tian.

“What’s the matter Tian Tian, cat got your tongue? It could be worse. Also,” A snort escaped him. “The way your nostrils are angled right now kind of makes you look like a frog.” And then he wheezed so hard Zheng Xi spasmed at his side. Jian Yi tried to say something but was not able to get it out between laughs. Once he finally calmed himself enough to get a sentence out,he turned to he Tian, still only just containing his laughs. “No need to look so unhoppy. At least now you look more unique." Another wheeze broke through. "Completely unfrogettable.”

Another hysterical laughing fit hit and this time he couldn’t recover. Zheng Xi very tersely said his goodbyes and yanked Jian Yi out of the room, his face paling upon seeing He Tian’s expression. Guan Shan wanted to laugh but He Tian's face forced that urge down quicker than it came.

“…It’s…it doesn’t look…like…that bad.”

Guan Shan gulped at the lack of response, no teasing or flirting or anything. This was the first time that He Tian has been completely silent, and it was very disorientating. He couldn’t discern whether it was better to try and ease out a conversation or leave him to stew it out.

He expected He Tian to blow off at him, it was Guan Shan who’d butted him in the first place after all, but nothing came. He Tian had his odd mood swings but this…stillness was unfamiliar.

Guan Shan cleared his throat and went for it. “Hey, look, I didn’t mean to actually-“

“I’m thinking.”

“…About what?”

The smile that graced him made Guan Shan at least fifty times more uneasy than his previous silence. His lips were slightly bloody and stretched so far it showed bright white and unusually sharp canines. Serpentine.

“About Jian Yi.” He said. “I think hanging around with Gryffindors all the time has made him a bit brave. Don’t you think so?” His eyes snapped to Guan Shan’s, hooded and piercing.

“I don’t fucking know. Maybe?”

“Maybe indeed. You need to remind people, sometimes.”

Guan Shan nodded, not really understanding what He Tian was talking about because it seemed like they were thinking about different things. Jian Yi was annoying but what did he have to do with all of this? Remind him about what?

About another ten minutes later a lady came in to reset He Tian’s nose, her wand circling twice. She said there would be some bruising but other than that no concerns.

He Tian’s voice was a bit heavier, resonated more within his nasal cavity with the swelling, but that was a small price to pay. The fact that you could speed up healing like this still shocked Guan Shan. He wondered if he'd ever get used to the whole magic thing.

“At least you like me even though I’m not handsome anymore.”

“When did I ever say anything about you being handsome?”

“You said it doesn’t look that bad and you’re still here. Ah,” He Tian brought a hand to his chest. “I’m glad I’ve picked someone who looks beneath the surface.”

“I don’t think it’s wise to look beneath the surface with you.” Guan Shan muttered. Who knew what was lurking underneath.

He Tian chuckled and they waited for the nurse to sign them off in easy silence.

He didn’t need to be soft with He Tian, all it was was a slight misalignment of cartilage, yet he was still gentler with his words, offered to bring him water. Whether He Tian deserved that gentleness was up for debate but he’s got it. Earned or automatic but he’s got it. Maybe that was the answer.

-------

“And I mix it in here?”

“Yes. Then stir anticlockwise twice and add what’s left.”

Guan Shan did so, hesitating to put the final ingredient into the cauldron. It was a small bowlful of leeches and he didn’t want to have to boil them. He Tian looked at him, noticing the pause and Guan Shan quickly threw them in. They’re parasites, the hell you feeling sorry for. The liquid splashed a little, a greenish-blue drop landing on his hand and he wiped it on his trousers.

“Thanks.”

“I told you, I’ll be nice if you’re nice.”

Guan Shan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I heard.”

A final stir marked the end of what he needed to do, the rest of the steps being just a bunch of boiling and reducing. He Tian was still working on his potion and it was evident from the get-go that he was doing something completely different to what the class was meant to do.

"Why're you doing that?" He Tian clearly knew what they were meant to do because he'd helped Guan Shan with his potion.

He Tian only winked. He used the exact same materials but the method was different to what was in the book and the resulting colour was also way off. Guan Shan didn’t question it further because He Tian looked sure in what he was doing.

At the end the teacher asked them to vial what they got for marking but He Tian carefully hid his away, pouring it into a separate container, asking Guan Shan to use his sample for both of them.

-------

Two days later instead of going to lessons He Tian swung them into a deserted corridor (at least everyone else wasn’t skiving). Guan Shan would’ve complained but he really didn’t like their charms teacher so it wasn't a major loss. 

Guan Shan watched as He Tian smothered a thick paste into a sandwich, situating it between lettuce and cheese before reconstructing it, concealing his handiwork between the layers. He still wouldn't tell him what this was all about.

He Tian tapped the sandwich with his wand, voicing a quiet “Reparo.” and it re-wrapped itself, previously ripped paper reforming as though it had never been tampered with.

“What’s that supposed to do? I thought you said it went wrong?”

“It did. You should put more focus into your lessons Momo.”

“So you messed it up on purpose? And shut up. I focus plenty.”

He Tian gave a low, deviant chuckle and packaged away the paste, sandwich tucked under his cloak. He recalled it being what He Tian had made earlier in the week - the potion was something orangey and thick rather than the transparent teal the textbook had shown. Could pass it off as barbecue sauce.

He Tian stood up from his crouch to fit himself into Guan Shan’s side, resting an arm on his shoulder. “Now we wait for our target.”

Guan Shan rolled his eyes, sarcastic tone fully exaggerated. “And what, feed them? Didn’t expect such generosity.” He leaned back against the wall, He Tian’s arm bending tighter at the elbow to follow the movement.

“You think too little of me, I’m generous to a fault.”

“Right, and I’m actually-“

He was interrupted by Jian Yi’s shrill greeting, rounding into the corridor with Zheng Xi close behind. “He Tian! Redhead!”

“I told you, stop with the Redhead.”

Jian Yi smiled at him, flicking a spiky section of hair on his forehead. “You didn’t like Mo and I need to use some sort of cute title with my cute friend.”

“Yeah?” Guan Shan grumbled. He was about to ask which lesson they’d just come from and why they were missing it, but He Tian went in instead.

“Jian Yi, my old friend, hungry?”

The way Jian Yi jerked to He Tian was almost comical, Guan Shan could see that stars twinkle around him at the mention of food. He really wanted to know what He Tian had done with the sandwich, all that effort (from He Tian no less) would not have been put in for nothing. And why was Jian Yi the guinea pig?

Jian Yi nodded, metaphorical dog tail wagging, and He Tian handed him the sandwich, smirking something secretive in Guan Shan’s direction as he did so. Zheng Xi looked at it with slightly less-than-neutral distrust but didn’t say anything.

Jian Yi tore into the wrapping and Guan Shan was practically holding his breath, waiting for…for whatever that paste was going to do, but Zheng Xi placed a hand on the sandwich and lowered it away from Jian Yi’s open mouth.

“Have it later. We need to go see Ms. Su.”

“Oh yeah! I’ll see you guys!”

The two left as quickly as they had arrived and Guan Shan tsk-ed, disappointed. “So what was it gonna do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Whatever you threw in. He won’t it eat it now.”

“You’ll see what it will do, trust me.” He patted Guan Shan’s chest as in reassurance, before tilting Guan Shan closer by his shoulder.

“Zheng Xi will figure out something’s not right.” Mother duck just wouldn’t let it happen. Zheng Xi always appeared aloof, but he was like a self-appointed guard, always vigilant around Jian Yi.

People always expected them to be together or nearby, and these people included Guan Shan. It’s like they were naked without one by the other’s side. Zheng Xi would point it out for sure.

He Tian looked at him, voice playful but expression indicating otherwise, eyes intensely fixed onto Guan Shan’s. “He won’t.” Then, after a second pause, “You think Zheng Xi can outdo me?”

“Why’re you getting fired up, I just said-“

“He can’t.”

“A-Alright, I get it.”

He Tian remained close, eyes slowly scanning over his face. Guan Shan had gotten more familiar with his tendency to remain uncomfortably close and didn’t move away, trying to swallow away the tightness in his throat. After their 'make-up' he'd really ramped up on the touchiness.

He wanted to take a breath in, however that would force his chest to expand and He Tian’s presence was crushing, constrictive. It was always a constant swing between zero and a thousand.

Suddenly He Tian smiled, finding whatever it was he’d been looking for, lips stretching over teeth. “Good.”

Guan Shan finally felt he had space to inhale, He Tian’s arm still very heavy on his shoulder. He quickly looked away, moving his face out and felt live-time as the tightness in his neck was replaced by heat.

He Tian laughed for whatever reason, observed Guan Shan trying to silently compose himself with a cunning curve on his lips, satisfied.

-------

That evening Guan Shan was startled into a near heart-attack as Zheng Xi smashed the door open, hurriedly dragging a distressed Jian Yi to sit him on the bed.

“What the fuck’s happened?”

Neither of them responded, Jian Yi covering his mouth and Zheng Xi muttering small it’s okays and it looks fines, crouched with his elbows on Jian Yi’s knees, gently trying to ease the hands away.

He wasn’t sure if this was one of those Jian Yi Zheng Xi only moments where he should just leave them to it. Jian Yi didn’t look hurt (Zheng Xi would’ve been a lot more animated otherwise) but something was obviously up.

During this decisional standstill Guan Shan surveyed round the room to find He Tian silently standing at the doorway, looking at the drama in front with eyes full of humour. Like he was watching a scene he'd already written and waiting for the punchline to appear in the sequence.

He didn’t have his cloak on, and the way he was leaning against the frame put an angle to his shoulders, body angling to on one side. It was appealing, the way the line of his posture was aloof and stocked on quiet superiority. His arms were crossed which drew his jumper tighter around his torso.

Guan Shan blinked away once he realised he’d stared long enough for Jian Yi’s quick breaths to escalate into hysterics, berating himself for focusing on weird things.

Zheng Xi shook Jian Yi by the shoulders, a tremor in his voice. “Jian Yi, say something! Are you hurt?”

Jian Yi violently shook his head, blonde hair swishing with hands still firmly fixed over his lips, fingers interlocked in a tight seal. Zheng Xi made his voice gentler and lightly held his hands over Jian Yi’s wrists, trying to encourage his fingers loose.

Zheng Xi’s face was all soft and Guan Shan knew he was about to deliver some unintentionally mushy rubbish and decided now was a good time to jump into the situation. “Look, fucking chill. What’s the-“

Jian Yi suddenly looked angry and opened his mouth, most likely to curse him off, but all that came was a loud, throaty croak. Not a voice-break kind of croak. A literal toad croak.

Guan Shan’s and Zheng Xi’s eyes widened stupidly large at the sound. Jian Yi’s own expression was horrified and his hands yanked back to his mouth, another, more hiccoughed croak sounding deep from the throat on his shocked inhale.

There was a momentary dead silence, everyone looking at Jian Yi (save for He Tian, who didn't show a twitch of surprise), who had gone impossibly red. With his pale skin blemishes were always obvious and now they were especially so. Add the hands that were at his mouth and the overall image looked like he was voluntarily choking himself.

He Tian was the first to speak up, voice cloyingly sweet and not kind in the slightest. “What’s the issue Jian Yi, cat got your tongue?”

Jian Yi blushed harder and after an embarrassed glance to Zheng Xi ran out, shoving into He Tian as he did, a quick middle finger being the last thing they saw with his exit. Zheng Xi quickly followed after he was at least somewhat recovered from the whole croaking, glowering at He Tian, middle finger also flashing, however He Tian disn’t let him shove into him.

Zheng Xi grunts at the impact of their bodies when he tries to do what Jian Yi did, however He Tian’s body stands stiff and un-allowing. There was a brief moment of eye contact between them and Zheng Xi withdrew, walking around He Tian to leave.

Guan Shan didn’t want to, but the laughter had been bubbling and he’d tried to contain it while Jian Yi was in, but one look at He Tian and a full-on cackle ripped out of him.

“I- Aha,” He took a deep breath in to have more air to use while juggling between laughing and talking. “Oh my god, that sound. Did you see his face the first time? Damn. That was so much better than I thought.”

“Yeah?” While Guan Shan was wheezing He Tian had sauntered over to stand by his bed, looking over him, a pleased crinkle in his eyes. Cold fingers scratched into his scalp, forcing his head to tilt up. “Impressed?”

“N-No.” He was. To brew a potion with that effect with ingredients for a completely different potion, make it a consistency that was easy to handle, and in a way that neither Jian Yi nor Zheng Xi picked up on until it was too late was pretty cool.

He Tian chuckled and the hand on his hair slowly slinked down to his neck, thumb digging into Guan Shan’s Adam’s apple. “Not even a bit?”

Guan Shan forced his last trill of laughter into a cough and moved away from He Tian’s hands. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. When’s it gonna wear off?”

“Hm,” He Tian bought fingers to his chin and looked up, mock thinking. “I wonder. It’s unlikely to be permanent.”

“Damn.”

“Ah, so we meet again.”

Guan Shan looked to what He Tian was talking about and realised that he hadn’t noticed Chicken flittering into the room from her nightly flight. Her wings flapped until she fixed herself to the top bar of his bedpost, right above He Tian’s head. She chittered at him with a head tilt and allowed He Tian to stroke her head with his knuckle.

“What did you name her?”

“Chicken.”

“…Pardon?”

“Chicken.”

“Chicken?”

“Yes. Problem?” It was his pet. He Tian could go shove it if he had complaints.

He Tian chuckled. “Not at all Momo.” Chicken pranced into He Tian’s open palm and sniffed around. Then He Tian must’ve decided that standing wasn’t good enough and flopped over Guan Shan to lay at his side, Chicken placed securely between them.

The movement was so quick and so out of what he expected Guan Shan needed a few seconds to react, during which He Tian buried himself into the mattress and began to fluff one of the pillows.

“What the- No no no, don't get comfortable, Get out!” Guan Shan tried to push at He Tian without jostling Chicken. An action that was actually very hard to do and every single attempt to shove him was weak due to his caution. Chicken kept waddling over the sheets and he didn’t want to risk crushing her.

A light tussle later and Guan Shan found himself hovering over He Tian with his wrists held firmly by cold hands, not really fighting anymore. Just glaring (but even that was a bit half-hearted). They maintained that for maybe a minute, Guan Shan glowering into the mirth in He Tian’s eyes. He sighed and carefully laid back onto the bed, his previously warm little patch cold. He Tian didn’t let go of his wrists but the hold itself loosened.

Guan Shan grit out a curt “Comfortable?”

“Very.”

“Asshole.”

He Tian smiled like Guan Shan had called him ‘sweetheart’ instead, and this smile was different from the sly, mocking ones and the teeth-bared ‘I’m warning you’ ones. He flicked his wand and the curtains circled shut around the bed.

“Give me your wand I’ll put it away.”

“S’already put away.”

He Tian considered this and shuffled a bit closer, their arms bending to rest next to each other. “You never have it on you.”

Genius Head boy didn’t need to rub it in. “Can’t use it anyway.” He grumbled.

The drawn curtains had a Pavlovian response. Guan Shan always closed them when he wanted to be alone or was getting ready for sleep, so them being shut signified an association with ‘peaceful time’ for him. Already all the pressure from the day was leaving his muscles, sleepiness steadily approaching.

“You can. Magic takes time and you haven’t had the head start or the environment to learn in the way most people here have.”

Guan Shan snorted a self-deprecating “Sure.” He knew his magic abilities left a lot to be desired and constantly seeing thirteen year olds get the spells right while he struggled didn’t let him forget. It was what it was, but that self-acknowledged inferiority always lingered and put a damper on his efforts.

“You’re good Guan Shan. When it’s class and textbooks you’re not in top form, that’s true, however you have an instinctive control. You don’t hesitate with it like others do.”

“Alright, I get it. Didn’t ask for fucking pillow talk.” Guan Shan tried to lay heavier into the covers because he could feel his cheeks heat and would rather He Tian not see it. He Tian’s low voice plus his actual name, not stupid ‘Momo’, plus their near tangled arms made for a very evocative equation. He’s got a threshold for things of this nature and He Tian is steadily pouring over it.

“You have all the skills but no true desire to utilise them. You think it’s not worth the investment. That this is temporary.”

Again they seemed to be having different conversations. Guan Shan was too tired to think through He Tian’s words properly however the intensity behind them made sure he was aware that this was something serious. “What are you even going on about-“

He Tian leaned forward with his upper body crossing an invisible middle line, lips close. “It’s not temporary. You fit better here than you will ever fit in the muggle world.”

No appropriate response came to mind. Guan Shan wasn’t sure that that was true, whether he really did fit in here like He Tian thought he did. Although he…he wanted to. Wanted to witness Jian Yi taking the brunt of He Tian’s personal entertainment and wanted to witness Zheng Xi’s silent protectiveness. Wanted to improve his magic and have He Tian help him with potions.

Regardless it was too late for that sort of moping now, and too late for the sudden burst of vehemence coming from He Tian. He’d mentally bookmark this for another day.

“Just sleep. If you’re gonna invade my fucking space, then-”

He Tian repeated him, voice pitched high in an intentionally inaccurate copy of Guan Shan’s voice, earlier atmosphere broken. “Invade my space, then-”

“How mature.” Guan Shan lifted his head to look to Chicken, who was still on the bed rather than the frame. “He’s so mature, isn’t he?”

“You’re a bad influence on her. You shouldn’t manipulate people into your incorrect opinions.”

“Rich of you to say that.”

“Whatever do you mean.”

They smiled together, He Tian at Guan Shan and Guan Shan at the ceiling. He knew he fell asleep before He Tian, knew he was watching him, but somehow that didn’t bring any discomfort and Guan Shan drifted off.

Chapter Text

“Jian Yi’s not talking to me.” He said. Initially Guan Shan hadn’t noticed, but a week in and he realised there had been a lack of Jian Yi related noise around him. Usually Jian Yi would come seek him, or would drop little greetings when they passed each other, or just buzz round him, but he'd been uncharacteristically sparse.

“He’ll come down from it, don’t worry.”

“Not worried.” He grumbled. Why was Jian Yi mad at him anyway? He Tian had given him the stupid potion or sandwich or whatever. Maybe he didn’t intervene when he could’ve but it was just some fun. Unless He Tian did something else afterwards? Still, he wasn’t the instigator. “It’s all your fault you know.”

He Tian didn’t seem to mind Jian Yi’s sudden aversion to them. But He Tian also had a whole litany of people to see otherwise while Guan Shan didn’t have that luxury; his circle was limited. Limited to the four-band group of misfits he’s been wedged into.

He Tian only smiled, an unashamed culprit. Unapologetic, because he didn’t need to be otherwise. Didn’t matter if everyone knew he’d been the one behind something, because those same people wouldn’t dare point it out.

Around the first few months while he was settling in there had been an incident – some guy had been ‘anti-social’ towards He Tian and it resulted in his exclusion. The school had been in uproar as the process had been so quick and in the last year to boot, how unlucky the guy had been 'getting expelled in the last year, so near the end, wouldn’t the headteacher be a bit more lenient?!'.

No one really knew what had happened (Guan Shan wasn't all that curious either - his plan of action back then was avoid He Tian as much as their timetable would allow) and He Tian didn’t fuel into the gossip. The issue had died down as quickly as it arose but ensured to reinforce the hierarchy.

For some reason it made Guan Shan go hot.

“Such bold accusations Momo, I couldn’t even begin to understand how you can sleep at night.”

He cleared his throat, getting back to the present. “Mighty easily. What are we gonna start on?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Wow, thank you for your input.” Guan Shan just picked the first textbook and that was their decider.

“Anytime.”

About half an hour in and they’d (mainly Guan Shan) worked through a few questions and made a few notes, He Tian’s naturally richer than Guan Shan’s but he let him peep over and copy some stuff so for him it was a win.

As he was readying to move onto the next book a familiar scent worked into his nose. He looked up and sure enough there was a lit cigarette situated on the fleshy middle of He Tian’s lips. “Should you be doing that?”

He Tian only raised his eyebrows in invitation. “Want to join?”

“Not what I asked.” Guan Shan had smoked before but dropped it at the same time he dropped out of his ‘friend’ group. The smell resurfaced certain memories and he doesn’t want to associate those with He Tian.

He had a faint whiff of tobacco on him time to time however it was miniscule so Guan Shan usually tolerated it. Not now though. “It's not good for you, put it away.”

“Alright.” He said. A bare second later and with a spell he incinerated the whole stick, ashes falling and burnt so fine that they scattered before they even hit the floor.

Guan Shan was expecting to have to push more. Was ready to push more. What was going on recently? “C-Cool. Can you look over this bit.”

He Tian moved his chair closer to peer over his page, which was wholly unnecessary but He Tian being abnormally close wasn't anything new. He gave his feedback and stayed leaning close, eyes fixed on Guan Shan in silence as the other worked. It was a sensation he was no longer affected by.

“Momo, what did you do in the muggle world?”

“None of your business. Nothing interesting anyway.” 

“So secretive.” He leaned back into his seat, expression light and not at all bothered (probably because he knew Guan Shan would tell him at some point anyway). “Oh. I wanted to mention Quidditch matches will start soon, so I’ll have practices.”

“…So?”

“So try not to get lonely without me.” He Tian’s voice employed a semi-fake, sympathetic pitch which made the whole thing sound incredibly condescending.

So much so that he didn’t deem it worthy of a reply. He hadn’t heard that tone in a while, thought they were over that. He glowered at He Tian, brows tight, and carried on writing to show just how much of an issue it wasn’t.

He Tian didn't give this behaviour a single blink. “You know, it would’ve been good if you came earlier. We could’ve played against each other.”

“No thanks.” He Tian was competitive and with that came being absolutely merciless. From what he’d heard Quidditch games were tense enough as they were, and adding He Tian into that made for an intimidating picture. No fun going into a game you know you’d lose and Guan Shan doubts he’d be able to keep his focus on the right things.

“If you say so. You can come watch sometimes. Watch me.”

Guan Shan shrugged his shoulders. All he’d been doing was watch He Tian recently, more than he judged to be appropriate. Something was just drawing him in and singling out He Tian and He Tian only. Maybe he needed to cool down on that habit.

They stayed there for another half hour, after which He Tian probably noticed Guan Shan’s brain clocking out and despite protests dragged him out.

When he got back to his room after their impromptu visit to Diagon (He Tian bought him pastries and an imitation golden snitch toy) Zheng Xi was seeing Jian Yi off. He thought to greet him, maybe initiate and move things along for once but Jian Yi quickly and huffily turned his nose in the opposite direction.

Guan Shan returned the action, almost angry that Jian Yi was being petty but didn’t know why he expected otherwise. Be like that then. Guan Shan can do that too. 

Zheng Xi gave a quick look between them and sighed.

-------

Guan Shan threw the toy snitch into the open space in his room. It spun out quickly, wings unfurling and flying around two uneven circles before whizzing back into his open palm. He swung it out again, this time harder, and it did another circuit.

He wasn’t too fond to admit it but He Tian had been right – he did get lonely. Jian Yi ignoring him automatically meant less of Zheng Xi, and He Tian had been at practice more often than not.

He'd get a quick ‘I’ll see you later’ and He Tian would be off with his Slytherin team, constantly surrounded by a bunch of sycophantic greenies.

He asked He Tian whether they’d be eating outside for lunch and He Tian had only smiled, eyes sharp and full of tease. Probably knew he was right, that Guan Shan was feeling exactly as predicted. He’d been promptly informed that He Tian will be eating with the team as they had practice almost immediately after.

Another day they were on their way to lessons and someone bound up to He Tian, horsing around and talking about the setups they could try out for the match. Guan Shan didn’t know him enough to say anything and also didn’t want to say anything. He tried walking faster ahead but He Tian held him back by the elbow and kept him close all the while still talking to his new friend, which resulted in Guan Shan awkwardly shuffling along in a typical third-wheel-friend formation.

It was almost like being ignored, except He Tian didn't want to receive the same treatment, however that worked.

The day before the match he knew He Tian wouldn’t be around and thought ‘Not an issue, I’ll go find Jian Yi’ , except he remembered that wasn’t an option and it soured his mood. Was this some sort of conspiracy? Suddenly no one seemed to be available.

Bother him for most of the year but as soon as something’s up poof and they’re too busy. Cling cling cling when it’s convenient but otherwise he’s just a side?

Guan Shan caught the imitation snitch and threw it even harder, so much force in the swing that its whip into the air was audible. This sound caught Chicken’s attention who perked up and started chasing it around, wings flapping frantically to catch up. In attempt to get away from her the snitch didn’t fly back to Guan Shan.

A few hours of brooding and he’d satisfied his self-pity capacity, choosing to read over some more text. He Tian, Jian Yi, it’s all a temporary predicament.

Right?

Zheng Xi came back close to ten and it was his first conversation, first human interaction of the day.

He came to stand a metre away from Guan Shan’s bed, hands in his pockets. “Hey.”

“…Hey.”

“I wanted to talk.”

“Yeah? What’s up?” Guan Shan closed his book and sat straighter. Zheng Xi never sought him out. They had a quiet camaraderie, both feeling each other’s occasional pain of having to deal with two very unique Slytherin individuals. Quiet. Non-interactive, non-confrontational.

“Just wanted to let you know about Jian Yi.”

“Why? Has something happened? Is he okay?”

Zheng Xi nodded. “Everything is fine. He’s not… he’s being immature about this, wants you and He Tian to personally apologise, you know how he is-“

“I don’t have anything to apologise for, he’s being-“

“But he does want all of us to reconvene, even though he doesn’t say it. The match is on tomorrow, I was thinking you could join us in the Slytherin stand. Jian Yi will pretend to sulk for five minutes but he’ll ease up.”

“Are we allowed in the Slytherin stands?”

“I’ve been going most years and no one says anything anymore.”

That’s probably because everyone accepts that those three are weirdos and don't hold them to the same expectations. It was also likely that Guan Shan was viewed as an extension to that…

“I guess I could…not doing anything otherwise.” He wasn't opposed to watching He Tian play. It probably wouldn’t do him any good but inner selfishness often wins out.

“Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“...I’ll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

-------

Zheng Xi was spot on in his predictions – Jian Yi sniffed at him, face dropping as soon as he saw Guan Shan coming in behind Zheng Xi and crossed his arms, the very picture of petulance, but eventually conceded. Guan Shan sat on his right, Zheng Xi on his left, and he remained quiet until Zheng Xi (not very discreetly) nudged into his ribs.

“Alright alright. How’ve you been Mo?”

“Good. You?” It was a little awkward, the crack in his voice. People started clapping as the players flew in on their brooms.

“Fine.”

“Okay, well-“

Jian Yi pouted his lip, not finished. “Actually not fine.”

“What’s-“

“I was friends with you first.”

He looked to Zheng Xi for some help but the other was just blankly looking between them. Guan Shan let Jian Yi carry on, hoping it would bring some more light on what he was getting at.

“So you should have been on my side instead of babying He Tian.”

“What the fuck are you on about?” Babying He Tian? “I said before, I didn’t have anything to do with the potion, so-“

Jian Yi rolled his eyes like the topic was obvious. “Not what I’m on about. You didn’t even laugh when I made the jokes, and you so could’ve. I saw it, you wanted to."

“I should've laughed at He Tian?”

“Yes! It would’ve been perfect! He was all pissed because he got embarrassed you seeing him like that, it would’ve been the perfect opportunity to bully him because he wouldn’t stop you, and in lieu of that wouldn’t stop me! We could’ve had blackmail material to last us a decade, and what do you do? Go all mushy!"

Guan Shan spluttered, shocked enough as it was without that last phrase. He thought Jian Yi was mad that he had to deal with having a toad voice, not something like this. “Fucking stop right there, do you realise how stupid that sounds? What fucking blackmail material?”

Jian Yi sighed, leaning his head on Zheng Xi’s shoulder like he had just faced a huge burden and needed to recuperate, like he was tasked with holding the weight of the world. “Argh, you Gryffindors annoy me so much sometimes. The one time He Tian could be felled, without consequence, and you waste it! His one weakness! I expect better from those I employ into my gang. XiXi, tell him-“

“You- Gang- I forgot what a fucking mess you are. You are making almost no sense.” He couldn’t lie, it was pretty funny. Outrageous but funny. Jian Yi was so serious about it, so committed to the drama. Gang my ass. He chuckled and saw Jian Yi smile just before he covered it into Zheng Xi’s shoulder. “Can’t believe that warranted a whole week’s worth of being blanked-“

“I had to punish you somehow Mo. And it’s worth a lot more weeks but I happen to have the soul of angel.”

“You know the Slytherin really jumped out there. You’re just as bad as each other.”

It was easy to look at Jian Yi, maybe spend ten minutes with him and think ‘oh, he’s really bubbly for a Slytherin’ but that’s because most miss the little things, how at times Jian Yi’s eyes get sharper than He Tian could ever manage, how there’s an underlying edge of cunning  to his actions. The potential for something unpleasant is always there. It just happens too quick to become attached as a personality trait. Jian Yi balances it out perfectly. 

When you look at the interaction between He Tian and Jian Yi in isolation you get a glimpse of those little fine print nasties, the two similar in ways Guan Shan can never pinpoint, however those similarities are certainly there, abstract as they may be.

Good thing for all of them that Jian Yi was nice eighty percent of the time, not the most traditional Slytherin candidate. Annoying, but nice.

“And don’t call me Mo.”

“Aw, what about Momo? Do you think He Tian would strop if I called you that?”

Guan Shan knew his ears had gone red. “Shut up. Neither of you can call me that. Watch the game.”

“I think I will. XiXi, later call him Momo as well, we’ll see if He Tian-“

"He Tian already has an agenda against me, I don't want to-"

“Watch the game! Jesus.” He half-wheezed, embarrassed by the hint of a smile showing on Zheng Xi’s face. Why did I even miss these assholes.

From then on they turned their attention to the game, a little Hufflepuff already providing commentary and giving a run-down of all the players. A few Quaffle passes in and Guan Shan almost regretted  coming to the game, as it made something that he didn’t want to be made clear become crystal clear, aided by the earlier suggestiveness in Jian Yi’s comments. Almost. 

Firstly the energy of the whole event seemed to heighten things a solid ten notches more than usual. All the houses combined and competing, Ravenclaw and Slytherin particularly aggressive about supporting their houses as they were going against each other. It was an unspoken given that Gryffindor would support Ravenclaw however Guan Shan definitely wasn’t (and neither was Zheng Xi).

Everything started quickly, from the introductory swoop of the teams and the roaring applause from the spectators. The match kicked off and Guan Shan couldn’t focus on anything other than He Tian. He tried, he really did, but that effort didn’t amount to anything substantial.

Slytherin had an unjust playing style but He Tian made it even dirtier, concealing red card moves from the referee while simultaneously making it flashy. Guan Shan could see the hesitation of the opposing team’s players, uneasy knowing that He Tian was going to pull something but unsure when and how he would do so. You had to be cautious but also had to take risks because He Tian pushed you to no other option.

Better taking risks that to not progress at all, he thought.

He watched He Tian toying around, gracefully controlling his broom without struggle despite the eye-blurring speed, manoeuvring through incredibly sharp turns which only served to antagonise the other players. It was intimidating, that effortless mastery. The level disparity was very apparent and you could tell the Ravenclaws knew it.

Watched He Tian smile through completely unkind motions as he made the Ravenclaw players fall off their brooms, lose their balance, veer off course, not agile or reactive enough to counter He Tian’s ministrations in time.

Watched as the others got tired, got fatigued, worn down while He Tian only turned livelier. A demon feeding off others’ despair.

Felt a nearly unmanageable current run through him when He Tian’s eyes met his, not through scoping but like he knew exactly where Guan Shan had been, felt the subsequent thudding of his blood as he blew him a kiss. Playful, easy, theatric. As though the whole thing was a show for Guan Shan to enjoy, like the game itself was secondary.

He wanted to say that he could only wonder why these things were standing out to him but he couldn’t because Guan Shan knew exactly why. He liked that natural superiority, that He Tian wanted to show off for him, that Guan Shan’s attention would be more rewarding than the win. He Tian saw a worth in him that valued Guan Shan above the others and he isn’t sure what that said about him but he liked it.

This epiphany - or perhaps acceptance – was monumental yet was drowned out courtesy of the deafening roars from the Slytherin stand. Someone had caught the snitch and it was no surprise as to who the victor was. In the uphaul a flurry of green flew into the air, green scarves and green banners thrown in celebration.

He should’ve done something, cheered or booed or whatever but he was stuck.

And that was probably it. He Tian had known all along, maybe planned all along, but Guan Shan didn’t really care. The only thing in focus was He Tian and his wind-tousled hair, the silky green uniform and the satisfied smirk, his lengthy and complex dance into Guan Shan’s whole existence coming to fruition. He’d clung on that first day and he’d clung on tight.

He Tian waved at him in the stands as his team tries to drag him back into the changing room, celebratory chatter and touches surrounding him, but he only budged out of their circle to go towards Guan Shan.

A few steps up and he’d climbed right in front of Guan Shan, just one row lower. His voice was soft, proud in a way you are when a job is done well. “I won Momo.”

Guan Shan nodded. He did. “Congrats.”

“Only because you came. I wouldn’t have otherwise.”

He would have. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. My lucky charm.”

Luck was a fickle thing. He Tian was standing sweaty and glowing in front of him and Guan Shan didn’t have anything constructive to say. It was frankly an overload. The scene, the noise, the sights, the everything.

Knowing that you’ve begun to like someone ambiguous in their intentions. The transition had been so fast after the realisation. He Tian fooled around and went to extremes but was it due to genuine interest or what it showed at face value, everything purely for the fun of it? He couldn’t discern between the two, both seemed plausible and He Tian never made the suggestion clear in its nature.

He Tian took a step down, already angling his body to leave. “We should celebrate. Get Jian Yi and Zheng Xi as well. My room at nine.”

Maybe it was neither of those things and He Tian was just throwing a curveball. He couldn’t tell but he did have a hint of something in his gut. Warning or instinct or something else. To hell with it all. There was too much in the mix, he’ll just deal with it as it comes. He didn’t have the brains to play He Tian’s little games and solve his webbed riddles. Heck, he didn’t know the rules.

“Okay.”

-------

Guan Shan walked with Zheng Xi towards the Slytherin tower, meeting Jian Yi on the way, who let them into their common room and later into He Tian’s room.

Surprisingly He Tian actually came at the proposed nine o’clock, pretty alcohol bottles and snacks in hand. Guan Shan assumed he would celebrate with his team, would drag it out and come late. In fact when a few Slytherins popped their heads asking if they could join their little party group it was He Tian who waved them away.

He Tian shook the food packets he had while shuffling in. “Miss me?”

“No.” Guan Shan helped him out of his cloak and unthinkingly smoothed his hair – it was still wind-blown and exposed his forehead, which admittedly was a good look. Hence why Guan Shan had to cover it. He went back out to get plates, and in that time the rest of them had opened the booze.

He didn’t expect Jian Yi to get as drunk as he did, and certainly not Zheng Xi – the guy was in hold of himself ninety seven percent of the time – but he did get drunk. Drunker than he’d be able to recover in time for their history class the following day.

This state meant that Jian Yi felt an even bigger wave of forgiveness, and swung an arm around Guan Shan’s shoulders like he hadn’t been blanking him for a (nearly two) week(s). His face was red and the alcohol made his eyes puff up a bit, so he looked like a tomato baby hybrid. Not necessarily a bad look.

“Momo, what a happy time no?”

“Yeah, festive like never before. Get off, you stink.” He didn’t however actually nudge Jian Yi off. He Tian had smuggled in a bunch of Firewhisky and unfortunately the liquid looked more appealing contained in cut glass than it smelt on Jian Yi’s breath. Guan Shan decided to not question where or how He Tian got the alcohol. Again, better to not ask sometimes.

Jian Yi only giggled and took another messy swig from his mug (with patterned pink hearts and glitter-yellow stars). He Tian could probably have transfigured them into actual shot glasses but asshole obviously got a kick out of seeing the peasants live their peasant life, drinking adult alcohol out of kiddy cups.

Jian Yi stood up too quick for what he could manage with alcohol spinning in his head and almost immediately toppled over. Guan Shan snorted as Zheng Xi tried to catch him but with longer reaction time failed, Jian Yi landing back down on his ass with Zheng Xi’s open arms slapping his face on the fall instead. They both laughed at this and Jian Yi leaned in to say something to Zheng Xi only, sectioning themselves off from him and He Tian.

He briefly looked back at Guan Shan to wink before dipping in closer to Zheng Xi's face, which Guan Shan pulled a face at.

He wasn’t sure whether He Tian had drunk anything, the mugs were opaque. Guan Shan himself had started off modestly but now he wasn't so sure what cup he was on.

He sight was slightly woozy but Guan Shan was fairly coordinated – if you put him and Jian Yi next to each other he looked practically sober. (But then again he did think a tomato hybrid baby wasn’t a bad look, so maybe he wasn't the best judge of things right now). Not important. There were other things to address.

He stood up from the floor to sit next to He Tian on the sofa, their sides soft against each other and the added weight sinking him further. He Tian automatically placed an arm around him which nestled Guan Shan further into his torso, uniform rough against his cheek. Not that he could truly feel that texture because his cheeks were numb with heat. 

“I see you two have reunited. And you’re Momo to him now? Why does Jian Yi have your sudden permission while I need to fight you every time? ”He Tian said, his fingers twirling loose through Guan Shan’s tie. It still had a faint, dark blood stain from when he used it for He Tian’s nose.

“He didn’t have permission. He’s doing it on purpose, ignore it.” Guan Shan turned to the only other non-occupied-with-your-love interest person in the room. “Your room’s weird.”

“That’s not very polite. You should be nice to your host.”

Guan Shan laughed, more to himself than to He Tian’s response. Nothing really funny happened but he needed to fill in somehow.

“Tired?”

“No.” If anyone He Tian should be tired. The match wasn't long but it had been intense, particularly with all the broom acrobatics He Tian decided to display. 

“You can sleep here tonight.”

“Jus’ said I’m not tired.” At this angle he could peer into the cup in He Tian’s hand and he hadn’t drunk a sip from what he’d poured. “What are you scheming?”

“Hm?”

“You haven’t had any.”

“Want to finish it for me?”

That didn’t answer his question but Guan Shan didn’t really care about the answer anyway. He Tian looked good even this close and even at this awkward angle. He carefully brought the cup to his lips and Guan Shan allowed it, more alcohol heating down his throat.

The Firewhisky was from the same bottle as the rest but He Tian’s seemed to burn more, but maybe he was just imagining things. Probably imagining He Tian’s fixation on his lips as well. But you imagine certain things for a reason and Guan Shan felt a very particular pull in his gut. Had been feeling it since the game.

The alcohol had done some serious tampering to his decision making and he succumbed to that pull.

He scrunched a wad of He Tian’s shirt, right over the chest, and tugged to force the other’s face forward. This action was clumsy and he misjudged the distance, causing their lips to smush a bit awkwardly.

Guan Shan was simply going on hazy instinct, whatever felt right, but luckily He Tian was in the right gear. He tilted Guan Shan’s face, steadying his hand in ginger hair and pressed their mouths tight, like he'd been waiting. There was a distinct Jian Yi-sounding ‘ew’ in the background but it was background noise for a reason. 

He Tian had almost circled him in with his arms to make the slide of lips steady and Guan Shan wasn’t against it, however he was the one who initiated this whole fiasco and so it only made sense that he would be the lead. He realised how choppy this reasoning was but again the alcohol prevented any further rumination. Good thing because He Tian licked harshly over his bottom lip and Guan Shan tried to do his utmost best to return the motion, all of his usual filters on OFF mode.

Maybe it was an odd thing to focus on but he could feel the rough bumps on his tongue glide over the surface of his lip, catching on the dry bits he always chewed at and it made his breath hitch, a pleasant push and pull.

They took in the same heated air for a few breaths, He Tian more composed with arms still firm around him.

“Out of breath Momo?” His voice was rough. He hadn’t been struggling at all, the only sign of being affected visible in his eyes. They grey to black ratio was small, pupils dilated impossibly wide. “That’s why you should play Quidditch. Would help with stamina.”

“Wasn’t finished.”

“I think you are. You look a bit swoony, maybe it’s time for a lie down.” He Tian’s cool palms stroked over his considerably hotter ribs, both soothing and steadying. 

Guan Shan shook his head childishly. There was a vague sense of fatigue but that was secondary because the primary focus was He Tian. “M’not swoony.” He tried to swoop in again but all he received was a quick peck, earning another Jian Yi orchestrated ‘ew’, after which He Tian laughed and manoeuvred him to lay on the sofa and got up to say something to the other two.

He pouted, confused as to why He Tian wasn’t staying. He was sure he read the mood between them right – He Tian always hung close around him or on him, behaviour completely different to how he was with others. He considered it to be quite intimate, how close He Tian would get, people present or not, which was surely reflective of how he felt about him? He hoped he hadn’t misinterpreted…

Guan Shan didn’t focus on what exactly went on but he could make out Jian Yi and Zheng Xi being shooed out. He Tian muttered some spells and stuff whooshed around back into place, the smell of alcohol slowly thinning out. Guan Shan also began cooling down, blood simmering to a lower temperature and the alcohol-induced heat mellowing out to something more bearable.

He Tian re-joined him on the sofa, wedging himself against its back and Guan Shan’s body. He flicked his wand and the duvet crinkled off the bed to softy thump over them.

“It’s gonna get too hot.” He grumbled, weakly pushing the duvet downwards.

He Tian pushed it back up to his chin, slotting his legs between Guan Shan’s and Guan Shan didn’t try again. “Trust me it’ll be fine. You’re so cute like this. I hope you’re not going to be stubborn about the situation in the morning.”

“I'm not stubborn.” What situation?

“Mhm.”

“And I’m not gonna join stupid Quidditch.”

“You should. There’s still time to train before the end-of-year matches. It would be fun.”

Fun because that would be another area where he could bother Guan Shan. He’d be relentless. “It wouldn’t.”

He Tian chuckled. “Okay. Go to sleep.”

“Stop fucking talking then.” He murmured, slowly reaching to hold He Tian’s hand. He allowed it, squeezed Guan Shan’s hand in return, so it was reciprocation, right? He Tian wouldn’t let him do stuff like that if he didn’t like him. Right? He didn’t want to let himself feel any rejection just yet. He had time.

“You’re talking.”

Guan Shan rolled his eyes and turned around, pressing his shoulder intentionally hard into He Tian’s chest as he did, undoing their hands. It wasn't a proper reprimand but it made him feel better.

He Tian shifted to rest his mouth to the back of Guan Shan’s neck, and he could feel the imprint of a cocky smile as he hummed, the sensation travelling through his whole nervous system in sparks.

-------

In the night they had both fallen to the floor, Guan Shan feeling a soreness in his shoulder blades and other bony areas, both from the hard surface plus being pressed into it harder by He Tian’s weight. His face was tucked securely into Guan Shan’s neck, warmth concentrated only where their bodies were in contact and the rest absolutely frozen. The cover had not slipped off from the sofa like they did so there was nothing else to guard from the chill.

Everything from the previous night was still contained in his brain, he hadn’t drunk that much after all, and as he flicked through those scenes he was beginning to think that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to suddenly have been so forward. If Guan Shan had projected something serious while He Tian was just entertaining himself it would certainly change things and he didn't want that.

He wouldn’t be able to hang around with Jian Yi and Co. without making things awkward, so he’d have to find new friends. The thought made him snort at himself. 

Whatever the case he had to deal with the fallout now. Guan Shan wasn’t a coward and if he had things to face he would face them, especially since this was his responsibility – he had made the first move.

He looked down at He Tian’s hair, the only thing visible as his face was in Guan Shan’s neck. The strands were a bit dishevelled in one area, black tangled onto itself.

“Oi.” He tried to ease He Tian off, a light push on his elbows. He Tian didn’t stir and so he went for it with more force, only to have He Tian’s arms suddenly tighten around his torso. He sighed and attempted to make the extraction process as minimal as he could manage.

This went on for a few more trials until he noticed that He Tian was very much awake and being annoying on purpose, breathing irregular in trying to contain his laughs. His final shove was not gentle, no longer concerned with trying not to wake him and He Tian finally cracked, dropping the act and chuckling at Guan Shan’s efforts.

“Have you got somewhere to be Momo? It’s early.”

“It’s fucking cold.”

“That’s why we’re cuddling.”

Guan Shan’s brain naturally told him to deny but with all the thought he’d put into it the previous day this denial no longer rung true. “This isn’t- just shut up.”

Funnily enough neither of them made a move to get back onto the sofa or the bed.

He Tian rose up to his elbows so that their eyes would be level. “So?”

“So what?”

“Are you going to make things temporary? I could hear the entirety of your angsty inner monologue.”

“Fuck off.” Back to that? Guan Shan told his body off for the sudden rush of elation that had fizzed within him. If He Tian didn’t want a ‘temporary’ that could only mean good things. Better get to the point. The quicker he gets there the quicker he’ll have his answer and then he could deal with things accordingly. “Well, I literally sucked your mouth yesterday.”

He Tian hum was satisfied, a little leer angling on his lips. “You did. Just making sure the memory was in order.”

“And an asshole once asked- demanded that I don’t make things temporary. As he’s demanding now?”

“Sounds like a reasonable demand, don’t know why you deem him to be an asshole. Is he demanding now?” He Tian’s smile only widened. “You’re unsure?”

Guan Shan’s jaw went tight and a characteristic glower scrunched on his eyebrows. The teasing had its place in some circumstances and this wasn’t that circumstance. He just doesn’t have the patience. “Look you dick, do you like me or no?”

“You certainly have a way with words.” He didn’t even hesitate, leaning back down to rest his chest on Guan Shan’s “I do. A lot, as I've been trying to show for the year so far. I’m confused as to why you were confused.”

“Okay. Good. And I'm not confused.” He gruffed.

He Tian laughed at him and pressed his lips into his neck. Guan Shan let out a light breath and sighed, hugging He Tian in. Being forward paid off and he was lighter, more relieved and floaty than the alcohol could achieve.

The soft lips felt nice until He Tian bit him. A sharp pain quickly registers on the thin skin of his neck and he hisses, sitting he up and shaking He Tian off. “Are you a fucking lee-“

“Why did you move, you made it uneven. Lay back down.”

“I thought you were being sensual or some shit, it’s too early for things like that – look, seven o’clock.”

“Sensual or some shit, very eloquent. Alright, let’s go get food.”

“Not hungry-“

He Tian helped him up and walked them out, going for the dining hall. It was kind of gross, both of them having slept in their uniform and unshowered.  Guan Shan was slightly hung over on top of that but the smell of food distracted him. Turned out he was hungry.

He Tian hugged him by the shoulders the whole way, unperturbed by the looks this earned and it made Guan Shan giddy. Or embarrassed, these things can be hard to tell apart.

They sat down together on the Gryffindor table and it took Jian Yi, even in his state, about three seconds to figure the whole thing out.

“You guys are here early too huh. Mo, what is that thing on your neck- eugh.” He stood up to point a finger at He Tian, Zheng Xi trying to tug him back down “Stop stealing all of my underlings! Mo! I expect better!”

“Just sit down, you’re going to get sick again.” Zheng Xi muttered.

“But XiXi!”

“Sit.”

“Who’re you calling your fucking underling-“

“Momo have some orange juice.”

All in all it was a very eventful breakfast, Jian Yi whining and occasionally turning green and halting his rants, alcohol from the previous day still sloshing through his system. Zheng Xi would mother him to calm down and He Tian just sat back and enjoyed the spectacle, a hand resting on Guan Shan’s thigh. Guan Shan himself added his own complaints here and there but the atmosphere was good. It was nice, the four of them in one space again.

Eventually the only way Zheng Xi could calm Jian Yi down was through stuffing him with food to keep his mouth occupied. They joked and laughed, He Tian and Jian Yi having some sort of gaze battle but even that was out of humour. They were both too much. At one point Jian Yi choked on a muffin and Guan Shan hid his laugh into He Tian’s neck, hoping to avoid Jian Yi having another go at him.

He wa still unsure about some things. The whole magic experience had been fun but whether he’ll be able to build a life here is a question he'd need time to answer, and hopefully he'd have it before it would be too late. He still had a long way to catch up to an appropriate wizarding level while everyone else would soon be graduating. There wasn't much waiting for him in the muggle world but who knew how things would pan out.

He watched over the three of them, Jian Yi huffing and He Tian riling Zheng Xi up with a fondness he would be embarrassed by if he’d noticed it on himself. He was glad he got squished into this little crowd. Dare he say lucky, for once.

He Tian pushed into his square of vision and dispersed his thoughts. “Momo.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Why are you spacing out? Let’s go.”

He Tian already made a move to stand and he followed. “Where?”

“Brave knight Zheng Xi challenged me to a duel.”

Guan Shan looked at Zheng Xi already storming away with Jian Yi at his heels, gait unusually rigid. Trust for He Tian to be able to wind up Zheng Xi of all people. “You- What- I’m coming. What did you do, jeez.”

“Nothing really. Just said that if he was half the Gryffindor you were him and Jian Yi would be further along.”

“What? Stop fucking dragging me into your battles.“ Now Zheng Xi will be the one ignoring him for a week and the whole Jian Yi blanking phase will repeat another cycle.

“Technicalities. Just cheer for me.”

“Shut up. I won’t.”

He Tian smiled and dragged Guan Shan forward.