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Loud pounding at the door. Why did it always have to be loud pounding? Why were you never awoken by a sweet chorus of angels, or a serenade of doves? Nope, whenever someone wanted something from you, which was often as the only human on the ship, it always began with an urgent wakeup-call.
“(Y/N)!” Rodimus hollered. “(Y/N), you’ve gotta get up.”
You groaned into your pillow, not bothering to even check the time; everything from your befuddled mind to the time-adjusting lights told you it was far too early for any sane person to be awake.
“(Y/N),” Rodimus crowed again. “Come on, get up.”
“Minimus,” You mumbled, reaching out for your partner, but missing. “Minimus, he’s your ‘sponsability before seven.”
Rodimus pounded on the door again and you looked around groggily, sighing when you realised Minimus had left you in the night again; occasionally, you wished he would spend the entire night with you, though that wasn’t likely to happen anytime soon.
Half-jumping, half-falling, you got off the berth, making your way to the door which Rodimus was still banging on. His voice was now joined by Swerve’s worried one, asking if this was the right time to be bothering you.
You opened the door, grunting unappreciatively. Swerve blushed at the sight of you in your night clothes, having never got over his infatuation with humans. It was fairly common knowledge that he had a huge crush on you, though he tried exceptionally hard not to show it, especially since you had started dating Minimus.
“Uh (Y/N),” Swerve breathed. “Nice to see you here- I mean, not here, you live here, so obviously we would see you, especially since we came looking for you. Did we wake you up? Sorry, I know we did. I tried to tell Rodimus that this was a bad idea. I said, ‘Rodimus, 1AM is too early,’ but he said-”
Rodimus clamped his servo over Swerve’s mouth, ending his babbling and patting the mini-bot’s head sympathetically. “Take it easy buddy, you’re going to blow a gasket like that. (Y/N), you silly bird that I can’t remember the name of.”
“Goose,” Swerve mumbled against Rodimus’ servo.
“Right, goose, that was it. Anyway, you didn’t tell me about Halloween now, did you?” He waited for the obvious no that was to be your reply. Instead you yawned and rubbed some sleep out of your eye, entirely devoid of the energy required to carry out a conversation.
Continuing his spiel as if you had spoken, Rodimus shook his head disappointedly, “No, you did not. I mean, you mentioned it in passing and I had to hear from Swerve here about those epic costumes.”
“Rodimus,” You glowered. “If you’ve come here to ask about a costume contest at ONE IN THE MORNING, I swear I will tear out your vocaliser and feed it to scraplets.
“Wow. That’s just rude considering I’m only trying to make you feel at home with YOUR holiday.”
“I’m going to choke you with your own neck cables.”
Swerve swallowed anxiously and you shot him a soothing smile, “Don’t worry Swerve, you’re safe for trying to stop this lunatic.”
Swerve muffled a polite ‘Thanks’.
Rodimus finally let him go to reach into one of his sub-spaces for a datapad. “Look, just sign this form from Ultra Magnus so we can host the contest. He said we have to get your permission so it’s not, ‘cultural misappropriation’ or whatever.”
You held out your hand bemusedly, any anger dissipating as a solution to get rid of the pair presented itself; you would sign your soul away if it meant getting more sleep. Rodimus handed the datapad over eagerly, his engines revving loudly, giving you a headache. You glared at the form on the datapad, then at Rodimus.
“Rodimus,” You sighed. “This is just a memo that says ‘I can do what I want.’”
Rodimus blinked in surprise, then spoke behind his servo to Swerve, “I thought you said that passed as an Earth contract.”
Swerve shook his helm, “No, I said that in this show, Parks and Recreation, there’s this guy Ron who- It’s pretty funny, he’s the guy that-”
“UGH!” Rodimus leaned back dramatically, “You mean I actually have to do my job and write a lame report? BORING!”
“Rodimus,” You scowled, clutching your aching head. “If you shut up and leave, I will personally write up and sign a consent form for you to take part in Halloween.”
Rodimus shot finger guns at you, “You’re aces kid, see ya.”
And just like that, he was gone, wheeling his way down the hall in his alt-mode. Swerve stood awkwardly on his own, fumbling with his servos, clearly unsure of the social etiquette of what to do next.
“Uhm,” He said almost shyly.
Taking pity on him, you managed a sympathetic smile, “Yes?”
“I- I really like couples costumes, so if you uh- if Magnus won’t wear one with you- I um- Maybe you and I could go together? I mean, not as a couple, but as partners, or something?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Really? That’s great. I’ll uh- I’ll catch you later.”
Swerve hastily transformed and drove away, finally leaving you to get the sleep you desperately needed.
You knocked on the door to Minimus’ office, knowing how much he valued his privacy. Never once since you had met him had you ever just walked into his office; it was one of the many things he loved about you.
“Come in,” He said, his voice deeper than usual which told you he was in the Magnus armour.
You smiled, entering the room, “I have a report for you.”
Ultra Magnus’ lips twitched at the corners and if it was anyone else, you would have wondered why they were frowning; as it was with Ultra Magnus, you practically melted because that was his equivalent of spinning you around in elation.
“You should save that for the berth,” You joked, handing him the datapad.
Shortly after he glanced at the report, he gaped opened-mouthed at you. You had used the ‘Book Antiqua’ font, which was the most seductive of all the fonts. Ultra Magnus could barely read it without getting giddy, his cooling fans switching on with a low buzz.
“I-” He cleared his vocaliser, sitting ram-rod straight in an attempt of maintaining some professionalism. “Thank you, I shall see to it that Rodimus is allowed to perform his Halloween preparations immediately.”
“So, you’ll sign it off?” You asked, needing Ultra Magnus’ signature as well as your own to carry out any event on the ship.
He nodded, scrolling to the bottom, hardly able to keep a straight face with that piquant font daring him to flirt with you. Later, he would have to respond in kind by giving you the kind of report you liked, with the enticing pictures attached between the terms and conditions. Signing it hastily, he put it aside so as to calm himself by not looking at it.
“Wow Magnus, you aren’t yourself whenever you see that font, you know.”
Magnus frowned at you, surprised by your words, “I do not understand.”
“Apparently, you get so flustered-”
Ultra Magnus blushed, waiting for some kind of invitation that he wasn’t prepared for.
“-That you didn’t read all of the terms and conditions.”
He gasped, picking up the datapad again, this time ignoring the ever so alluring font to read everything that was written. Finally, he reached the point you were referring to, whimpering a small, “No.”
“Yes,” You nodded.
“(Y/N), how could you?”
“I’m sorry Magnus, it had to be this way. You would have never agreed to it if I’d just asked, and well… it is a part of my planet’s culture and traditions.”
Ultra Magnus read and reread the stipulation again: Should this be signed by both (Y/N) (L/N) & Ultra Magnus / Minimus Ambus, then the pair shall be entered into the costume contest, in costumes of (Y/N)’s design.
Sighing once more, Ultra Magnus put the datapad down once again. He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Just tell me one thing (Y/N). Why?”
You thought of all the holidays and events you missed out on because of Ultra Magnus. Usually, you didn’t mind, knowing how uncomfortable they made him, but the recent memory of wanting him to spend the night with you was too fresh to ignore. You grinned, “Because, Halloween is the one time of year that I have to get at least one trick in, but don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll never fall for that ever again.”
Ultra Magnus scowled. You were right; he would never fall for such a trick again.
“Okay,” You said from your position in Ultra Magnus’ servo, admiring the Halloween paint job on the armour. You looked at the stage from behind the curtain that had been put up. Riptide was there, dressed as a Rodimus Star, and you had to give him points for creativity if nothing else.
You beamed jovially, “You ready?”
Ultra Magnus was frowning beneath the new face-plate, but he nodded anyway. You had to really admire his handy-work. When you made him agree to this, you didn’t think he would put his best effort in but he did, and now with you dressed in a pilot cap and jacket as Hogarth Hughes and him painted the silver Iron Giant, you were having the bests time of your life.
“I am totally ready,” Swerve practically sang from Ultra Magnus’ side, shaking on the spot with anticipation.
Ultra Magnus glanced distastefully down at Swerve, wondering again why he was there. As it was, you couldn’t stop thinking about Swerve’s desperate need to fit in, and though it wouldn’t help with his crush on you, you had decided to invite him to join you and Ultra Magnus in the contest. With you as Hogarth and Ultra Magnus as the giant, Swerve was left with three choices to complete the ensemble; he could either go as Kent ‘I work for the government’ Mansley, Dean McCoppin, or Annie Hughes, Hogarth’s mother.
In Swerve’s words, he didn’t want to be a villain, so Kent was out, nor did he just want to be spray painted black which removed Dean from the equation. That was how you ended up with Swerve in a pink 60’s diner outfit (that Ten had sewed) and a brown wig, which you presumed was also created by Ten.
Finally, it was Riptide’s turn to leave the stage and go to the back of the mess hall which had been repurposed into a party room, complete with bubbling cauldrons and smoking coffins; you were sure you had seen Chromedome and Rewind canoodling in one of those coffins, closing the door behind themselves shortly thereafter.
“Right,” Rodimus in his alt-mode as Lightning McQueen called; he was the sole judge since most everybody else wanted to be in or avoid the contest completely. “And next to try and top MY ACTUAL FACE ON RIPTIDE, we have (Y/N), Swerve and- WHAT! YOU’RE YANKING MY CHAIN. ULTRA MAGNUS.”
Ultra Magnus used the servo that wasn’t carrying you to cup his helm with a heavy sigh as Rodimus burst into a fit of hysterics. He wanted to ask you if he really had to do this, but even if you let him go, he would feel unlawfully guilty; breaking a contract was no small matter. Besides, he knew he never gave you enough time. You could be with somebody else who was what you needed, yet you chose him anyway, loving both Ultra Magnus and his smaller form, Minimus Ambus. Should you stumble on an unpleasant part of his past, you wouldn’t press him too hard to tell you, rather waiting for him to come to you with the stories of how the events of his life had unfolded. For your kindness, patience and unconditional love, Ultra Magnus knew he would suffer a thousand of these infernal contests.
As such, he stepped forward carrying you and closely followed by Swerve. Seeing your trio did not stop Rodimus’ laughter. Instead, he transformed to his bot mode so he could hold his side as he fell about laughing. “The Iron Giant,” he squeaked, almost tearing up. “It’s so cute, I thought- HA! I thought- it could’ve been like Law & Order- HA HA HA. OR JUDGE, JURY, EXECUTIONER WITH THE THREE OF YOU!”
He slapped his side and it was another twenty minutes till he stopped laughing and finally scored the three of you. Finally, by the last costume, Nautica as an incarnation of Doctor Who, the contest drew to an end. Although Rodimus was greatly amused by Ultra Magnus in a costume, your trio came second; evidently, Rodimus’ ego could not be defeated and Riptide the Rodimus Star won, earning an actual Rodimus Star for it.
“Alright,” You smiled after the awards. “You held up your end of the bargain, now you can be free if you want Magnus. I know you hate these social gatherings.”
Ultra Magnus swallowed anxiously. He did desperately want to get out of there and he was appreciative that you understood that, yet he couldn’t let it go unsaid that the contest hadn’t been completely horrible as he had first expected.
“(Y/N), my darling,” He said, whispering it so only you would hear, afraid of too much PDA.
“Darling?” You smiled. “My, what’s got into you? You haven’t got a fever?”
Ultra Magnus knew you were teasing, though he hoped it wasn’t a real criticism buried beneath. “I- Tonight was not- I um- Do you enjoy this tradition of dressing up?”
“I do. It’s the one night you can be someone else and it’s kind of just one night to be silly on Earth, I guess.”
“Then- We shall do this again next year.”
“What?”
Looking around to make sure nobody was watching, Ultra Magnus retracted his face plate and kissed your cheek, quickly sliding his face plated back afterwards. “I want you to feel cherished while you are with me, (Y/N). I love you and… You should not have to miss out on enjoyable moments for me. Let us do this again?”
Frankly gobsmacked, you simply nodded and Ultra Magnus pressed his helm against yours. You didn’t know it yet, but this would be the first night since you moved in with him that he would stay till you woke up; what had started out as a silly costume contest, had become a precious reminder for Ultra Magnus to get every precious moment he could with you.