Chapter Text
Zayn finds him on the last day of it all.
Finds him on the edge of a cliff staring out at the sea, head bowed, hands in his pockets.
Should be sad that it’s only today he found him. This feeling all his life that he’s missed out on something, been building up to that moment of completion, that moment of feeling like its all okay now.
in the end, he only finds it, or him, hours or minutes or however long before everything ends.
He’s a couple of steps behind him now.
Close enough that he could stretch his arms out, lean forward and touch him.
Maybe he’d startle. Zayn doesn’t think he would.
Close enough that he can say ‘Hello’ except that one word doesn’t feel like enough.
He wants the words to never stop tumbling out his mouth, talk about how long he’s waited for this, how for some reason instead of trying to get home in time, he got in his car, drove in the opposite direction and ended up here.
Next to the lighthouse as it casts a melancholy glow onto the sea.
Next to people scattered across the cliff edge. It’s not just him and this stranger. Zayn spares a small glance to see how many there are, wonders how many are just like him.
Or maybe they’re people who’ve known each other for years, self-destructing till that broadcast most people had worried would happen, but never talked about for fear it would, changed everything and all that matters is being here. Together.
“You look cold, it’s like you aren’t prepared for this.”
His voice, it’s like Zayn imagined. Warm, deep, soothing in a different kind of way to his dad and somehow so familiar. And as Zayn directs his attention, all of his attention back onto the man who’s turned around now, his smile is even warmer.
Could convince a man that far from being the end, it’s only the beginning.
“Who could be prepared for this?” Zayn questions.
Knows the other man didn’t mean it like that, but the small choked off laugh is something Zayn would have done in his place.
“Yeah true, it’s funny cause I realised before I got in the car, had just spoken to mum, promised I’d do everything I could to get home in time but I knew, sort of knew all day and so I packed accordingly, and just in case, I packed another one.”
He bends down then to a small bag and pulls out a hoodie which he throws towards Zayn who catches it but doesn’t put it on, holds it close to him instead.
“I’m Liam.”
“Zayn.”
“It sounds good together, Liam and Zayn, maybe it’s just me though,” Liam says with a smile that’s sort of shy. The lines that show when the beam of light from the lighthouse shines on them for a moment confirm Zayn’s thoughts it’s frequent, Liam smiling.
“It does,” he replies, his head’s filled with a million questions, a million things to ask Liam about his life except it’s all so immaterial now.
Nothing else matters except right now, about not wasting a single second.
Liam edges forward, close enough to touch easily, to breathe in the way Liam smells mainly of the night air, maybe a little bit of cigarettes and faintly of cologne. A cologne Zayn will never get the chance to buy him for his birthday or to mix in with his own.
“We should make a deal that wherever it takes us, alternate universes/next lives whatever I mean, we meet much earlier than this. Feel like such a waste all the time leading up to this, just waiting for you and here you are and you’re like I imagined, every bit that I imagined but time’s run out on us, it’s so fucking unfair.”
Then Liam adds like it’s an afterthought.
“Maybe you don’t believe in them, next lives, other lives, alternate universes and all that and do you know what, neither do I but there has to be a reason for this, us finding each other only now, right? Otherwise, what’s the point?”
Zayn considers for a moment, just a fraction of a moment his response. Considers what words he could use, he could say he agrees, could say that he believes the whole point is to know each other enough by sight or smell that no matter what form they are in whatever alternate universe they find themselves in, these moments are enough to be able to just know.
Why waste words though?
The low rumble and the clap of what sounds like thunder but probably isn’t as simple as that make his mind up for him and he drops the hoodie to the floor and raises his hand, his palm to lay gently against the back of Liam’s head while he places the other against the small of his back.
They’re close enough to kiss but instead for a moment, Zayn takes in Liam’s features, his full eyebrows, the plump nose, the smattering of facial hair and the way his brown eyes are blinking fast, holding back tears Zayn thinks he wants to shed too.
But not of regret, not really, nor of grief, okay maybe just a bit, mostly it’s just relief that they are here together. Just like their families are at home, exactly where they’re meant to be.
He doesn’t think when he leans forward and the way it happens, he thinks Liam must have the exact same thought at exactly the same time as they kiss, lips against each other’s but it’s not as urgent as he thought it would be.
Instead, it’s gentle, it’s two people like they’ve known each other all their life and it’s like a goodbye kiss at a railway station where there’s so much tenderness, so much love they’ve built together that it doesn’t need urgency or more like they’ve got all their lives to discover each other more. It’s not this desperate urge to discover everything because maybe in this life or universe, it’s the last time.
And maybe if Zayn was certain this was it, he’d be throwing away all convention and social decency and doing a hell of a lot more than kissing right now.
Instead, he pulls away sees the way Liam’s lips are redder rather than the pink they were before, sees the way he licks at his lips and then giggles as he says.
“Never kissed a bloke with more facial hair than me before.”
They both laugh and their foreheads touch before pulling away and Zayn stares into Liam’s eyes.
It’s so bloody normal, so much like any couple discovering each other for the first time, when tonight is anything but and he’s reminded of that as he sees the tears fall freely down Liam’s cheeks.
Feels moisture on his own face and they pull further apart but Zayn keeps his hand against Liam’s back as Liam wipes away a line of tears on Zayn’s face with his thumb.
He remembers Liam’s question just as there’s another sound, louder this time, and as the light in the lighthouse fails.
“Now I know you, now I’ve seen you, and you’ve seen me, I know it won’t take as long next time or in that alternate universe, just like this time maybe we found each other quicker than last time and even if it’s just ten minutes longer next time and then twenty minutes the time after, each time it’ll take less time, each time it’ll give us longer.”
Liam tilts his head to one side, nods and smiles like he’s not got a single care in the world.
“That’s the point.”
Zayn thinks he hears him say at the same he says it, thinks he sees a grin he’ll take with him wherever.
Then he hears nothing. Till next time anyway