Chapter Text
SATURDAY, 2ND NOVEMBER, 14:16
INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM, JAKE’S HOUSE
“Share Your Address” by Ben Platt plays as we see JAKE and ALISTAIR lying in JAKE’s bed, ALISTAIR with his arm around JAKE's waist as they kiss and cuddle. ALISTAIR’s wearing one of JAKE’s shirts. It's like they're one body with two heads.
We cut ahead in time and JAKE reaches over and takes a water bottle off of his table, and we see ALISTAIR silently chant “down it, down it, down it” as JAKE quickly drinks it, but ends up spilling it on himself, as ALISTAIR loses it, JAKE coughing while also laughing.
We cut ahead again as see JAKE bring SNOWFLAKE onto the bed, ALISTAIR gasping and petting her as she tries to bite his hand. He laughs, and keeping petting her, kissing her forehead as JAKE jokingly scolds her silently.
We cut ahead, and JAKE smokes a joint as ALISTAIR lies beside him, watching him with a smile, the song fading out.
JAKE
Is your binder hurting you?
ALISTAIR
I’m fine, I only put it on, like, three hours ago.
JAKE nods, as there’s a short silence.
JAKE
So…
ALISTAIR
[laughing] So?
JAKE
What’s your movie about?
ALISTAIR
Really?
JAKE
Yeah.
ALISTAIR
Um… Well, it’s called “The White Bread Angel”.
JAKE laughs, ALISTAIR joining in.
JAKE
Fuck off.
ALISTAIR
Seriously though. I don’t have a name yet, but I know what I want it to be. It’s going to be this coming of age movie about a trans guy just living his life. Going to school, going to his first proper party, falling in love… The only thing I really have planned is the basic plot, some shots and the ending.
JAKE
What’s the ending then?
ALISTAIR
Well, I don’t want to kill him, because I’m not some sort of cis idiot - no offence, Jake - but I do want it to be, you know, tragic. So I was thinking of it being him finding out he can’t go on hormones for years because he has to do so many things just to get permission and be put on a waiting list for more years.
JAKE
Really?
ALISTAIR
Yeah.
JAKE
You can’t just… do it?
ALISTAIR
Nope. I went to the doctor when I was 15, got told I couldn’t do anything for a while ‘cause…
JAKE
Because?
ALISTAIR
Uh, because of health issues. I-- I have some problems with my heart.
JAKE
Oh.
There’s a pause, and then ALISTAIR takes the joint from JAKE, sticking the burning end in his mouth.
JAKE
Al, fire!
ALISTAIR takes the joint out and looks at it, laughing, before taking a drag properly, JAKE watching him affectionately.
ALISTAIR
Jake, fire!
ALISTAIR hands him back the joint as he begins to smoke.
We cut ahead in time and JAKE and ALISTAIR are scrolling through their phones, side by side, in comfortable silence for a while. We see that JAKE has several unread texts from BRYAN, RORY and ELEANOR, but he ignores them.
ALISTAIR
Hey, have you heard of this band “Clout From Grandma’s Closet”?
JAKE laughs.
JAKE
That’s not a real name.
ALISTAIR
It is! They’re-- Don’t laugh, but they’re Soundcloud rappers--
JAKE
Of course!
ALISTAIR
They’re only a year older than us, but they’re really good!
JAKE
[sarcastic] I’m sure about that.
ALISTAIR
I’ll sing one of their songs for you!
JAKE
You? Rapping?
ALISTAIR gasps, mock-offended.
ALISTAIR
Jacob David Love, my rapping is known throughout the land!
JAKE
For being the whitest thing ever.
ALISTAIR
Coming from you!
JAKE
Okay, okay, rap for me then, Eminem.
ALISTAIR
At least I actually respect women.
There’s a pause, JAKE looking expectantly at ALISTAIR.
ALISTAIR
I’m not gonna rap.
JAKE
Oh, so the king of rap suddenly can’t--
ALISTAIR shuts him up with a kiss, JAKE laughing and smiling into the kiss. ALISTAIR pulls away and JAKE kisses his nose, making ALISTAIR laughs.
We cut ahead in time and see JAKE and ALISTAIR lying on the bed, JAKE the right way up, ALISTAIR upside down. Their heads are next to each other, and they're both looking at the ceiling.
ALISTAIR
You know what I believe in?
JAKE
The universe?
ALISTAIR
Yeah, but… The Greek origin of love.
JAKE
What’s that?
ALISTAIR
Well, back when the universe first began, each person was two people. Two heads, four arms, all that. There were three main sexes. The children of the moon, a man and a woman, the children of the earth, two women, and the children of the sun. Two men. One day, the gods - or, in my personal belief, the universe - got upset that the strength and unity of these beings were more powerful than them, and sent down lightning bolts to tear them in half, so they could never be complete. So they’re left to wander the earth in search of their soulmate, hoping to maybe, one day, find that connection again.
JAKE nods, taking it in.
JAKE
Why do you believe that?
ALISTAIR
I don’t. I can’t really bring myself to believe in anything, but… I think it would be nice to have something like that. Something concrete that can’t be changed. I think that there’s someone, or someones, be it romantic or otherwise, out there that you’re just destined to meet.
JAKE
Who’s your someone, then?
ALISTAIR smiles at JAKE.
ALISTAIR
I think I might have an idea.
JAKE breathes out a laugh, looking down as ALISTAIR laughs.
ALISTAIR
You’re all broke!
JAKE
The fuck does that mean?
ALISTAIR
It’s Irish for you’re embarrassed.
JAKE
Aren’t you from London?
ALISTAIR
Yeah, but I have some family there.
JAKE
I should’ve guessed!
ALISTAIR
Shut up!
JAKE
The red hair, the freckles, it was so obvious, Mr Leprechaun.
ALISTAIR
Such an asshole!
JAKE
Sorry, didn’t mean to knock over your pot of gold.
ALISTAIR flips him off as JAKE kisses him again, laughing.
JAKE
Okay, I am going to say something now.
ALISTAIR
Oh, exciting!
JAKE
Shut up, you.
ALISTAIR
Is it the number of parks you got wasted in?
JAKE
No! I-- I’m trying to say I believe in the multiverse theory.
ALISTAIR gasps, smiling.
ALISTAIR
You do?! Me too!
JAKE
Seriously?
ALISTAIR
Yeah!
JAKE
Like-- Like, I love it so much. Like, there’s a universe where I live in America or Sweden or something, or one where my dad’s Jeremy Kyle, or one where I was on Jeremy Kyle, got famous, went on TOWIE, Strictly, Jungle, the works.
ALISTAIR laughs.
ALISTAIR
But there’s infinite universes where everything is exactly the same, because those things are happening to other people.
JAKE
Exactly! But there has to be a constant in every universe.
ALISTAIR
Like what?
JAKE
I don’t know. God or something.
ALISTAIR
I thought you didn’t believe in God.
JAKE
I-- It’s complicated. I do, but I don’t really want to.
ALISTAIR
Yeah… But hey, he might be watching all of this go down on one of his infinite TV screens right now.
JAKE
Yeah, exactly! Like-- Like right now, there are infinite Jakes and Als lying here, where everything is the exact same only… There’s no coffee stain on the sheets.
ALISTAIR
Or I’m not ginger.
JAKE
Or I don't have brown hair.
ALISTAIR
But you’re blond.
JAKE
No I’m not!
They both start to laugh.
ALISTAIR
It’s sandy blond!
JAKE
It’s light brown!
ALISTAIR
That’s the literal colour of sand!
JAKE
You are blind, Mr Fletcher!
ALISTAIR
You ableist dick!
They both start to wheeze with laughter, as there’s a knock at the door, both of them freezing with fear.
CHRISTINE [O.S.]
Jake? You okay?
JAKE
Yeah, just… Hungover. Watching something funny. Sorry Mum.
CHRISTINE [O.S.]
It’s fine! If you want food, I have plenty!
JAKE
Thanks Mum.
CHRISTINE [O.S.]
I’ll leave you to it!
There are footsteps walking away, as ALISTAIR bursts into laughter again, JAKE looking embarrassed.
JAKE
Sorry about her.
ALISTAIR
She seems nice!
JAKE
Yeah, she is. I just-- I just don’t want you two to meet yet.
ALISTAIR
Okay, that’s okay.
JAKE
Yeah?
ALISTAIR
Absolutely.
JAKE kisses him, smiling.
JAKE
So… What are Al and Jake doing in the universe where they live in Australia doing right now?
ALISTAIR
Oh, we’re definitely surfing.
JAKE laughs.
ALISTAIR
We could!
JAKE
We could here!
ALISTAIR
Yeah, but I almost drowned trying to surf once! It was awful!
JAKE
I’ll protect you from the mean waves.
ALISTAIR
[deadpan] Oh, my hero.
They both laugh, as ALISTAIR phone starts to vibrate loudly.
ALISTAIR
Sorry, one sec.
He picks it up and answers it, holding it to his ear and then moving it away.
ELEANOR [V.O.]
[yelling] Where the fuck were you?! You don’t answer my texts, you disappear, and your parents say that you’re sleeping over with me?! What the f--
ALISTAIR hangs up, putting the phone down, looking a bit shaken up. JAKE pulls him close, so they’re nose to nose.
JAKE
You okay?
ALISTAIR kisses him.
ALISTAIR
I am now.
JAKE looks worried for a moment, and then ALISTAIR kisses him again.