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"According to this report, you are accused of 17 cases of rule breaking," Shuichi sighed, "And here I thought I'd never see you again after you said you changed your ways."
Kokichi grinned past the cell bars, waiting until his guard escorts exited the cell. "Well, it's not exactly my thing to stay behind the lines you draw."
The taller angel glared down at him from the podium before raising a hand that held up a shining, scintillating key. "Well, it would be exactly your thing to stay behind bars instead," he mocked his shorter former chief's tone.
Kokichi took a deep breath when a large lock appeared magically at the doors of his bars, effective in also keeping the power suppressant handcuffs locked on his wrist when he was arrested on Earth. Well, he was just telling his guarded student to go rob his classmate's pocket money that time, but he doubted the heavens would arrest him just for that.
"And also, according to this memo," Shuichi said, holding up a piece of scroll he knew inside that was signed by the Archangels themselves, "you will be kept here until the handcuffs release you. That will only happen if you change your ways once again...for real this time, I hope."
It came without knowing that Kokichi had spent his earlier days in that very same cell once, being judged by Heaven's Judge, Shuichi Saihara. Back then he had 40-something accusations, so he thought he was worse back then. In all honesty (ironically coming from him, the Heaven's self-proclaimed Angel of Lies), he really was trying to change his ways. He was trying to be better, and he was trying to be a decent being that stays loyal to the Judge--err, Heaven.
He decided to not fight it, as he also tried before. He accepted the decree and bowed his head.
"Please show some mercy," he mumbled, which he wouldn't if it weren't so necessary and traditional in an ethereal land. Right after he said it, all entrances to the room were shut by golden bars.
Very much unlike the stronger bars in his cage.
He looked up to see Shuichi frowned down at him from the podium, almost looking like he was being pitied or perhaps was a great disappointment. It doesn't matter to him, however, since Shuichi can't possibly hate him more than he already hated himself.
His lying habits really needed to get itself together, he thought.
So he flashed his shit-eating grin instead.
"Oh fuck it, Kokichi, I can't do this," Shuichi broke, surprising him at the sudden change of tone and the shocking profanity. And so Kokichi blinked, and they were back at his dorm room and all. His imagery of a trial ground on Heaven was nothing more than a fragment of his imagination, and Kokichi admittedly felt that that was a little bit too childish even for someone like him.
His cage was practically the other half of Shuichi's bed, and the bars that kept him locked in was the invisible barrier right at the middle. In fact, it doesn't even seem like he was welcome to set foot on the bed, or the entirety of the room, at all.
He felt his chest ache at the thought.
The other teen sat cross legged at the head of the bed, his head in his hands as he took sharp breaths that left Kokichi on edge, literally and figuratively. He felt like if he touched him with just the tip of his finger, Shuichi would explode. Once again, literally and figuratively. His face seemed to redden with anger or some other intense emotion, and it doesn't look like it came from something else. Kokichi would rather fall to the floor from scooting endlessly farther and farther away everytime Shuichi felt like he would just lash out.
But on the other hand, Shuichi looked...sad. His shoulders were relaxed, and it almost looked as if he was crying when he looked down, his fringe creating a shadow over his face. The atmosphere was so tense Kokichi honestly felt scared, and he had to take credit for someone who suggested the entire angel roleplay thing in the first place.
He wouldn't just let Shuichi deal with this entire scenario alone. Even he wasn't that evil.
Or is he?
Kokichi plastered on his best passive expression on his face before clearing his throat and examining his perfectly fine nails for the sake of it looking casual, as long as it looked casual enough.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I obviously screwed up."
With that, Shuichi looked up with a deep-set frown on his face. "What?"
In their own language, that probably meant "go on".
Kokichi took a deep, sharp breath before continuing. Pressing out an apology on his tongue almost felt painful, like it was an uppercut punch to his ego. He seriously needs therapy, doesn't he?
"I know I really...messed up this time," he said as clear as he can, "and so I'm sorry for even suggesting the trial roleplay just to make this a little bit better to deal with."
To his surprise, Shuichi widened his eyes in disbelief and gasped in annoyance.
Okay, I messed it up even more, oh shit oh shit oh shit, he thought.
"That's what you're sorry for?!" he exclaimed, "God!"
Shuicihi dragged his hand over his face. He groaned in a way that actually made Kokichi back away subconsciously, and all the latter's senses were telling him to go run away and hope Shuichi sleeps it off like he usually does.
"Let's....let's just..." Shuichi said through clenched teeth. "Let's just clear and clarify things here, okay, Kokichi? It's painfully obvious we're not on the same page."
Kokichi decided to keep his mouth shut for now. He nodded hesitantly.
"Last week, you said you will go get ice cream. On a movie date. W-with me," he said. Kokichi wasn't sure if the stutter was out or embarassment or anger, and so he decided to not correct the last part with the fact that they actually went with Maki, Kaito and Kiibo. "Not only did you not get ice cream on the way back, you brought back the vendor instead!"
"Y-yeah, so I can get ice cream for free-"
"You gave the vendor your number, Kokichi."
"Yeah but-"
"We established rules, Ouma," Shuichi interrupted him, shaking his head and raising a hand. "Let me finish. Did I get angry that time? No. Of course I didn't."
This sight was new. Kokichi knew that it was the silent ones who had the kinkier secrets and also the worse anger, and that unfortunately yet unsurprisingly applied to his potential boyfriend.
Potential! Key word on the potential! Shuichi didn't even answer him back yet! And he was so so so so angry already as if they were established! Kokichi would've loved this jealousy trip if Shuichi actually addressed the lingering question he said he would think about. If anything, at this point, Kokichi belonged to absolutely no one. No one.
God, this boy's literally testing his patience, eh?
And ignoring the fact that he is technically testing Shuichi's patience as well, this would either turn out fun or absolutely disastrous. There is no in between.
"--And the other day, I just had to hear about Miu that you spent the night at her place. And without Kiibo? Why did you even lie to me about that...? Kiibo wasn't there, it was only you two..."
At that, another piece crumbled from Kokichi's tolerance choco bar. If this continued on, his body might literally black out and unconsciously throw a tantrum all over the dorm. No, the entire campus.
Shuichi almost sounded sad. Disappointment was the mean between sad and angry in Shuichi's vocabulary, but his anger might as well turn out to be a wet one. If ever tears started to fall in the next few minutes, Kokichi knew he would literally shut down from the sight of his Shuichi crying because of him.
And the...well, the guilt, but he liked to pretend that he doesn't know what the fuck that is for now.
"And now, you outright lied to Maki about me-"
Oh shit, there it is.
Shuichi's voice cracked and he looked away as tears brimmed his face.
His world, as Kokichi predicted, froze at the sight. His hands remained unmoving as he watched speechlessly how Shuichi quickly recovered to pause the waterworks at a few tears and end it at that. He swiped his tears on his sleeve before taking a few deep breaths.
If anything, Kokichi would suggest that they should just breath until eternity until they die since it was peaceful enough for this. But then again, bad timing.
"You gave me the freedom to speak, yeah? And thank you for that, okay? I appreciate it, like, a lot."
Kokichi nodded, keeping a mental note on the imaginary zipper he placed upon his lips. He should let Shuichi let it all out...for now. He might drown both of them with tears later. It was still a new experience to witness Shuichi speaking so much.
And most especially a new experience to see him being the one having his lips shut for once.
Shuichi kept his eyes trained on the bedsheets separating them. "I hated being lied to more than anything, but I can handle that--I mean you. I can handle you."
He paused for a few tense seconds before looking up to meet his admirer's eyes. Kokichi's heart took a leap; how on Earth can someone cry and remain so freaking pretty? His head clearly is too messed up, he wanted to kiss that face, but once again, wrong timing.
"Why do you have to lie to Maki about me? About us?" he said solemnly and calmly. "Kokichi, are you...are you ashamed of me-"
"No." Kokichi practically ripped the imaginary zipper away from his face. If he had to correct one thing in everything Shuichi said, it had to be this one. There is no way in hell the answer to that question is yes.
It was just then he realized he had no backup words aside from "okay, continue."
Shuichi looked at him expectantly, albeit confused at the speechlessness that followed.
"I-I mean, no, I'm not ashamed of you. I'm actually a bit proud of you! You and all the things you've done." He panicked internally. That is literally everything he had to say. He wracked his brain for continuations and it was just a few seconds of gazing into Shuichi's face that he decided, fuck it, he will just wing this one out.
"It's just that, when Maki asked me about what was going on with us, I actually thought about the thing you told me to do—which is wait. I don't want to force the idea of us on someone when you are still thinking about it, so I told Maki that it wasn't like that, so she should just wait for a direct answer as well." God he hoped it made sense.
Shuichi became even more confused, and he just realized why. "Yeah, that's what you told her. You denied me."
"Shuichi, she thinks we are"—Kokichi made a circle with his left hand and inserted his right pointer finger inside—"that kind of buddies. That is what I denied."
"What?" Shuichi just looked at him confused, and despite Kokichi's brain immediately trying to commit that sight of a post-crying Shuichi tilting his head at him like a puppy to his memory, Kokichi groaned. Not like Shuichi needs to know what he thinks about at night.
"She thinks we're sex buddies," he said.
Shuichi's eyes widened, and his face lit up even a brighter red than he was when he's angry and crying. His hands covered his face, and he looked down to help his fringe cover his red face. Kokichi almost smirked at the sight—he actually loves it when Shuichi got embarassed.
"What?! Oh my god..."
"See? I wasn't denying you, I was defending us." Kokichi couldn't feel more proud. He felt like a misunderstood hero at some crappy American movie, the one that always received "justice" in the end, and it kind of fits to him actually. He is basically a criminal at this point and this sense of thinking still made him feel like he was some hero.
And....he told the truth, for once.
"I really hope you aren't lying."
Kokichi smiled his most sincere smile (which is still not that different from when he was lying) and raised his arms up in a surrender. "Nope."
Shuichi sat defeated on his bed, leaning on a taller pile of pillows by the headboard. "So...what?"
Kokichi inhaled deeply, fidgeting with his fingers behind his back. "Well, do you want to continue on a rant?"
Shuichi shook his head. He had a blank stare on the bedsheets, possibly gathering his thoughts together and calming himself down mentally. Kokichi had a feeling that if he was blessed with the talent to hear somebody else's thoughts, Shuichi's would just make him mentally deaf with perpetual feral screaming.
Honestly, his head was just like that too most times.
Silence washed over them like a warm blanket, like the moments where Shuichi hugged him when they were on the bus to town and he fell asleep, and like the soft glances they accidentally meet in between classes and in between lunches. It was quite intimate, and as far as he was concerned, everything seemed lowkey yet open enough just the way Shuichi would have preferred. And honestly, he liked just how it was something like a secret that would be used against him in a blackmail roleplay-
"--like you?"
"Hm?"
Shuichi doesn't seem bothered he spaced out. Or to be precise, he didn't even notice.
"About that question we have here," he continued on, "Kokichi I....I never date out of boredom, okay? I just don't date random people to...to sleep with or to cuddle with out of curiosity."
Kokichi nodded, even combining it with a small smile and hum of understanding as he discreetly pulling on to play his "fake confidence" card. Inside his head, his perpetual screaming was back on....playing on repeat. Was Shuichi implying Kokichi was only after him just for curiosity? Just for someone to sleep with?
Like hell. He wouldn't get this nervous if he just wanted someone to fuck. Heck, if he really was desperate then he should have settled with Iruma. And that was already quite disgusting in a normal, non-desperate standpoint.
"You know I like you," Shuichi muttered, "But if you really want me then you should at least not get on my nerves? I'm already tense enough at detective work."
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Kokichi felt his stomach, his lungs, his heart and his pancreas rot in shame. If this continued he would get on a definitely-not-desperate coping mechanism which was roleplay. If that happened, the world would involuntarily happen to turn back to heaven, his hands gripping the bars of the cage as he looked up on the podium to meet his Judge, dressed in white with a golden halo and feathery pure wings. Holy hell, he really need therapy.
Before he knew it, he started to stare into space, screaming in his head.
"Uh, Kokichi?"
He bleakly paused, turning around and leaning his head to the bedpost in utter shame. "Uhm, let me just...bite my nails in peace."
"On the corner?" Shuichi asked in confusion.
"Yes, on the corner."
Kokichi actually cannot even bring himself to face him. He might as well just turn into a puddle of pathetic blob of slime on the floor. He knew he screwed up, it hit him really hard just right now.
But then, his head started to form questions. Does he really deserve Shuichi? Should he drop the boyfriend proposal? Does Shuichi just want him to drop the proposal right now? Is that what he was implying he wanted? If anything, that could be the case since he wasn't the type to outright reject someone directly.
Whatever in the world had Kokichi ever done to deserve someone so....merciful as him even? If it was someone else, he would probably get his ass rejected from the first question, not that he would actually like someone else. Why does Shuichi even like him? He's a liar, he admits that. And also clumsy. And a prankster. And a pathetic mentally screwed squid.
Before he could die right there, his corpse as a crouching body hugging himself on the corner of his crush's bed, he stood back up and walked out of the bed, the other boy looking at him in confusion. He didn't make a move to step on the bed once again, but he pulled his last card and grinned his best fake confidence grin.
"I'm sorry."
Shuichi narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Let me guess, for what, leaning on my bed post and not because--"
"I'm sorry I disappointed you."
That felt like a harsh tug on his tongue, just the words forming in his mouth. Kokichi felt his pride take the blow, but he shoo'ed it off at the promise he'll cry himself on the showers after the entire ordeal was done. He knew firsthand how relationships work, he had destroyed many others enough to understand the weak and strong points of one. He knew that someone who cannot deal with their shit together will never make the relationship work, let alone someone who is sad to be expected to love another. One must be reliable to be desirable and liked. And later, loved.
And right now, he doesn't really look reliable. Let alone desirable with his shit prideful ass attitude. He always sold himself to be someone who can talk himself out of any given situation, but being with Shuichi just undoes all the knots he had made and now he's back on one lonely string.
Heaven help him to have another chance. Give him the second chance to prove himself he was still worthy of being someone's angel, even if he was an Angel of Lies.
"I will be better," he said, mostly to himself as a mantra and a promise, "Please don't drop the proposal, Saihara-chan."
"Saihara-chan? What in the worl--Kokichi???"
Much to both of their shock, he lowered his head and bowed.
45 degrees.
Kokichi never usually bows to anyone. Yet, he'd make an exception. He reached deep on his pockets and felt the small metal box, pulling it out and handing it over. He decided to ignore how his arms are trembling—anxiety who?—and focus on the shortlived moment of his vulnerability at hand. If Shuichi was someone he desired to be with for the rest of his life—ew, feelings but ugh damnit—then it won't hurt to be real and transparent for once.
At least, just this one time.
He trusted him enough to know he won't make fun of him.
"I worked with this with Iruma and Kiibo the other night. I designed it and they helped me. I...thought you'd like it."
Shuichi speechlessly reached for the box and opened it, as based on the sounds he heard. He recovered from the bow, but he kept his eyes trained on the nice carpeting on his crush's dorm. His hair also helped to not make his anxiety worse by giving him a tease.
But Shuichi had been silent for so long. Kokichi looked up slowly, as nonchalant as he can as if his pride was a-okay after all this time, to see Shuichi holding up the mini metal Judge mallet keychain.
Kokichi tried his best to calm his nerves, making sure to pat his mental screaming alright since he would be screaming in embarassment all night the moment he stepped out that door. He placed his arms back and sighed. "I wasn't screwing up with anyone. I was just making that with them, you know? I...really hope you like it, Shuichi."
Shuichi held it in his hands before smiling in gratefulness. "Thanks, Kokichi."
He knew his body was awkward, but it really had a bad sense of timing. His cheeks flared red at the compliment and he tried to swat it away by muttering a goodbye, heading to the door.
"Wait, Kokichi," Shuichi called, "Where are you going?"
"Huh?-"
He turned, but it didn't do him any well especially for his slowly dying organs inside. When he looked back, Shuichi was a few feet away from him, looking down at him menacingly. He continued, getting closer and closer until Kokichi could feel his breath right on his face.
It was just then he noticed...a few things on his crush's face.
Eyeliner, a few dark clips, and a piercing.
A piercing!
Kokichi narrowed his eyes, his mouth quirking up into a small smirk. "You're giving me shit for spending suspicious time with others when you're out there doing the same?" he whispered, eyeing that hot dark stud right on his left lower lobe. It doesn't look like a magnet, it looked legit.
That's hot.
And yet, his internal screaming continued, except it was more confused on what it was screaming for.
That eyeliner, hair clips and fuck, that piercing, all spelled Amami, Kaede and Kaito respectively.
Fucking hell, Saihara.
However, Kokichi did another mistake. He looked up to meet Shuichi's eyes only to be distraced by a shocking smirk, not noticing the hand at seemed like his short figure was pinned to the door. His internal screaming became verbal, and he knew his face was red hot. On his last conscious moments to stay alive, sane and not horny, he reached for the doorknob, twisted it with his last strength, and ran out like a scared 4-year-old at a haunted house attraction.
Really fucking hell, Shuichi Saihara, look what you did to the Supreme Leader!