Work Text:
For some reason Shinobu feels the need to tell him, as if she owed him an explanation. She thinks that it's the least she could do while her days are numbered on this hellish earth. It would be sad to leave him without saying anything.
So she does.
-----
Giyuu is sent to the Butterfly Estate to gather medical equipment for himself. With the imminent battle in the horizon everyone is expected to collect their own provisions from the insect pillar. Shinobu prepared basic med kits for the group and Giyuu is the last to grab his.
It's getting dark when he arrives but she calls him to her office for an assessment anyway, since she's not sure the next time she'd be able to give him a proper checkup once the fight truly begins. She supposes this would be the last, although they all live each day as if it was their last anyway.
The check up is like any other she's given in the past, and she's happy to see that he's as healthy as anyone worth calling a pillar should be. It all feels so much like routine that she almost forgets to bring it up until he speaks.
He asks if something is on her mind, and it catches her off guard for a second, because this man was not known for picking up on basic social cues, much less subtle changes in mood. She can't help but taunt him for it and he doesn't take the bait, he rarely does, more so now that he's staring at her with a sternness that even she's not used to. An amused breath escapes her as she turns away from him, a hand busying itself on one of the vials lined up on her desk while she searches for the right words. Although she ponders if there are such words that could ever feel right for explaining your insane, self sacrificing plan to your own comrade.
Giyuu waits for her, patience being something he is known for.
She finds the whole situation laughable. To think that she would ever find herself sharing a moment like this with the man she constantly teased to no end, simply because he let her. But she has to admit, with all the time they've spent together, countless fights fought alongside one another, the softer moments of supporting each other in their own ways, all of it has made her grow fond of him. Though she'd never admit that outright. They don't have time for feelings like that, especially now.
The silence becomes deafening, but he doesn't falter. She figures it's best to just get it over with, and swallows hard before speaking. Her voice is low and somber, only a hint of her usual lilt is present as if she's trying her best to keep it lighthearted, but ultimately failing.
Shinobu tells him every aspect of her plan, how she'd done her research, how she came to the conclusion, and how she began administering the poison to herself. There's a pause before she continues, explaining that this is what she needs to do, and it would be a fruitless effort to try to convince her otherwise. She reiterates that this is a necessary sacrifice, that he of all people should understand why she needs to do this. The resolve in her voice is prominent.
Like ripping a band-aid, she's relieved when she's finished.
Another bout of silence passes, and she's not sure she wants to turn around. Part of her wants him to leave it at that, to just walk out of her office and let her be, because she's not sure what might happen if he says anything else. She jumps slightly when she hears the shuffle of movement, and when she turns around she's met by the hard planes of his chest, and strong arms wrapping around her petite waist. Her arms hang awkwardly for a second before she decides to bring them around his shoulders.
Warmth envelops her, and she thinks she's never felt safer in her life.
They stay in this embrace for what feels like eternity and she almost protests when he starts to back away, instead, she's met with the sudden contact of lips against hers. Her mind is reeling at first but she allows herself to be swept away for just a moment, opening up enough to let him deepen the kiss. She can taste the desperation off his lips and from the way the he grips her because he knows this'll be their first and only chance to be together this way.
Her heart is bursting at the seams. Neither of them dared to entertain the idea, the possibility that this could ever be something, until now. She pushes the bitter feelings away, opting to focus on the opportunity they've given themselves.
Shinobu suggests they move to her quarters lest someone accidentally discovers them, luckily it's just across the hall. Once she slides the door shut he calls out to her using her given name. His voice is soft but serious as he asks if she was alright with all of this, with him.
She offers her lips as an answer and he takes it.
Time suddenly stops for them in this room, the rest of the world dissipates, as everything finally hits a tipping point. They both welcome the fall.
When she stirs the next morning, she's met by pools of dark blue. He doesn't say good morning, just caresses her cheek with the rough pad of his thumb. His mind is wondering about futures that can't exist, moments of what ifs. She knows because her mind wonders too, and it's enough to bring tears to her eyes but she fights it, fights it like the demons she's trained so hard to take down.
They spend the rest of the morning in each other's arms.
He's standing with her at the gates of her estate when the sun hits high noon. Aoi is sharp and draws everyone else to the back by the gardens to ensure the two have their privacy.
They're back to being pillars again, committing the previous night to memory where it can live on, untainted by the darkness of their reality. She wishes him safe travels. He simply nods and offers her a smile. It's bittersweet, mixed with the powerful longing for a different tomorrow. She smiles back and before he can turn away she asks him for a promise.
"Let's meet again in our next life, Tomioka-san."