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It was probably silly to think that the rest of his friends wouldn’t be excited about his championship, when he looked back on it. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t expected some sort of celebration party when he came back to Kanto, but it was obviously an oversight. Honestly, Ash should’ve suspected SOMETHING when his mother eagerly pushed for him to go to Professor Oak’s down the road. Nothing, it seemed, could’ve prepared him for the huge bash that was being thrown in his honor. Friends he hadn’t seen in a long time had come together to help plan the whole thing, and there was so much cheer and glee in the air. Food from all over the regions was laid in a tantalizing spread out in the yard. Some folks brought actual presents!
And Ash should’ve been ecstatic and eager to mingle...but he found himself before long alone up on the second floor of the professor’s home, lost in thought and feeling more tired than giddy over his biggest dream having been realized.
“Sheesh, who died?”
He probably should’ve expected that , too - that the person who eventually found him would be Gary Oak. It was Gary’s home, afterall, and Ash was technically intruding by being on the floor where the Oaks’ bedrooms were. He straightened a little, taking his cheek away from his fist so that he could muster up a smile. “What? Where’d that come from?”
But either Gary wasn’t in a joking mood or he was legitimately concerned. When he sank down next to Ash along the wall of the hallway, it turned out to be the latter. “You.” His former rival answered, “You just look put out. What’s the matter, huh? All your buddies’ve been wondering where you went, y’know.”
Ash winced, rubbing at his neck and saying nothing in response. In turn, Gary let him have a moment of silence...just one, though. “What’s eating you, Ash? Can’t say this is really like you.”
“You’re gonna think it’s stupid.” It was blurted without thinking, and Ash cringed directly after - Gary leered sourly in his direction. The boy quickly worked some damage control into their conversation. “I...think everyone kinda would, not just you.”
Gary simply folded his arms and remained silent, watching and waiting. The smile slowly slid completely from Ash’s face. “...When’s the last time we did this?”
“Don’t change the subject.” Gary snapped. When Ash flinched, the researcher relented with a sigh. “...A while. A long while. Now come on.”
Maybe...maybe the reason why he hadn’t really gone home expecting anything was because of his then-unspoken worry. Maybe it was why he hadn’t been able to tell that something was up when he’d been pressed into arriving at the Oaks’ home. It was definitely why he was hiding by himself. It shouldn’t have felt silly to voice aloud, and he knew - was 100% positive - that his friends would understand it if he told them.
“So...when I lived in Alola, um...I stayed with Professor Kukui.” He began, quietly. “And his wife, Professor Burnet. They took care of me while I was there. Like...like mom does.”
“Mm-hm…”
There was nothing in Gary’s tone to suggest he was getting impatient, so Ash didn’t feel flustered into rushing through his explanation. “The thing is...I...I guess after a while it sort’ve felt like they--they WERE my mom and dad. A little.” He bit his lip, then huffed. “Okay, a LOT. Kahuna Hala even called Kukui and me ‘parent and child’, during our match. I was in their wedding an’ everything.”
“Sounds like you were close.” His friend murmured. “That doesn’t sound so bad, especially since you were so far away from your own mom.”
“It WASN’T bad.” Ash acknowledged, stiffly; a familiar and unwelcome sensation was building up in his chest and throat. He swallowed. “I really, really liked that - I liked us being a family. And when I was leaving, I didn’t expect it to hurt so much.”
He petered off, the soft ‘oh’ of recognition beside him letting him know that Gary finally understood. His breath hitched; Gary flinched next to him at the sound. “I feel bad, because that makes it sound like I like them better than mom-- I don’t! But I just...is it bad that I didn’t wanna leave? I love them--I didn’t wanna say good-bye.”
His breath stuttered again, a wet sound that threatened an outburst he wasn’t ready for. The floor next to him creaked, and then Gary had a hand around his arm and was dragging him to his feet. “Come here-- come on, let’s go, Ashy-Boy.” Ash was too bewildered and too deep in his repressed feelings to fight the older male - he let Gary pull him into what was his friend’s bedroom, the door shutting quietly behind them. Gary forced him to sit on the edge of his bed, and it was only when he was sitting next to Ash that he explained his motives. “I didn’t want people to see you cry...and you need to cry.”
“No I don’t…!” But it was such a blatant lie that it tasted sour in the back of his throat. Frustrated, he scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. The pressure, he hoped, would stave off the tears. He refused to acknowledge the telling dampness against his palms. The tremble that was starting at his chest and slowly moving outwards didn’t exist.
Gary was quiet beside him, at first. “...You’re always moving from place to place. This is the first time you were actually sorta stationary in a new region, right? You just lived with the professors and when you were done getting in trouble for the day, you just went back to their house. They took care of you...I don’t think you’ve done something like that since you left Pallet Town the first time. Probably reminded you of being home.” Ash could only nod, too busy trying not to cry. “And maybe you missed that. Whatever the reason was, you guys all got close like a family. That’s not a bad thing. And...being sad about it isn’t stupid. ‘Course you’re sad: you just said you love them and you’re gonna miss them.”
“But how’s that any different than leaving behind my other friends?” Ash asked, miserably.
“It just is. Your friendships with people aren’t always going to be the same as each other - it doesn’t mean you miss your other friends any less. It just means you bonded with those people in a way you didn’t with like...Brock, or May. I’d be upset, too. You’re allowed to be upset and cry about not seeing them for a while, Ash. You’re allowed to act like they’re family: it sounds a lot like that’s exactly what they were to you.”
One great sob wrenched itself free from somewhere near Ash’s heart. He felt a hand settle between his shoulder blades. “I j-just...I wanna be happy today! Everybody’s h-here...and I don’t wanna be sad.”
“You can’t help how you feel. If you don’t feel like celebrating, don’t.” Was Gary’s advice. “You can hide in here as long as you want. Are people gonna be disappointed? A little, probably, but they’re your friends. If they’re anything like you, they’ll understand what’s going on and they won’t be mad or anything.”
With a sniffle, Ash rubbed his face against his forearm. There was no stopping the tears, and he gave up trying. “Thanks, Gary.” He managed, sounding slightly gurgly.
“Sure. I’ve got a phone up here...you could always call the professors and talk to them. Maybe that’ll make you feel better. Did you ever tell them all this stuff?” When Ash shook his head, Gary patted him gently and stood up. “Then call them and tell them. I’ll wait outside - if anybody comes up, though, I’m telling them the truth.”
He definitely sounded as if he was trying to be mean, but Ash knew better. As he scrubbed his eyes free of fluid, he heard Gary leave the room to stand sentinel outside. Once upon a time, Gary would’ve been far less understanding - their relationship had come a long way from being bitter rivals. It felt like he had his childhood best friend back, sometimes, and while it might never truly get back to what it was that felt like more than enough.
The boy’s fingers shook slightly as he reached out to dial in Professor Kukui’s number. He hadn’t spoken to them in several days, ever since his initial departure from the region, but it felt like ages. It ached deep in his core - Gary was right, they really did mean so very much to him. He was torn between standing and fidgeting as the phone rang and sinking into Gary’s desk chair. It was only when he gave into the latter that the line connected, revealing the face of his mentor.
Professor Kukui hadn’t changed much, of course. It’d been too little a time for him to do much changing. The professor started off looking confused before his brain finally caught up to the image on his video screen. “Ash! Hey kiddo, wasn’t expecting to hear from you!”
Something in that made Ash break. He started to cry in earnest, clutching onto the phone’s handset for dear life. He wasn’t aware of Burnet appearing on screen until her voice filtered into his ear. “What in the world did you say to him…?! Ash? Honey, hey, what’s wrong?”
“I just said--”
“Hush!” The female professor scolded before turning her attention back to the boy. “What’s wrong, huh? It’s not like you to cry.”
It welled up, huge in his chest, and he was sure Gary heard it when it burst forth: “I miss you!” He wailed. “I didn’t think it was gonna feel like this-- I-I’m not usually--but I miss you g-guys so much…”
The breath visibly left both Kukui and his wife; Burnet looked close to tears, and Kukui wasn’t long to follow. “Oh...Ash, that’s so sweet…”
But he shook his head. “No, you guys don’t u...understand...back in Alola, you guys just--it was like we were a family. We WERE a family. A-and I-- I feel like you guys are my parents, sort’ve. I hated saying g’bye-- I didn’t wanna go. And I’ve been thinking about you guys since I left!” He choked on a sob, coughed, and struggled to keep talking. “I’m s-supposed t’be hanging out with my friends, but I just...I miss you guys too much.”
“Hey now.” He finally opened his eyes, gazing at the screen. Both Kukui and Burnet were smiling through their own tears - the man absently rubbed his cheek on his own shoulder before grinning. “Listen...We miss you, too. We’re always going to miss you and care about you. We love you, don’t we?” Burnet nodded firmly. “Yeah we do. You’re as good as a son in our books. But don’t be sad, okay? You’re always welcome back here whenever you want.”
Beside him, Burnet nodded again. “We’ve met a lot of kids, you know, being professors...but you’re special to us. You’ll always be special to us. We haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left, and it’s been...hard.” Her smile wavered; she bit her lip. “You know you can call us, right? Because you can. We’d love to hear about whatever you’re doing, whenever you want to reach out. You’re our Kanto kid.”
“We ARE a family.” Kukui firmly stated. “So long as you want to be apart of it. You remember that, Ash. We’re proud of you.”
Ash wasn’t sure how long he stood there, sometimes able to speak and sometimes wracked by sobs as both professors softly spoke to him and reassured him of his place in their hearts. They encouraged him to talk about what was going on at home, who was there and what his plans were. He listened to them talk about what was happening in Alola, told them the reason they didn’t recognize the number was because he was at the Oaks’. Before long, his tears were just about dry and he was laughing. The conversation was winding down, and he was relieved to find that - while he definitely was reluctant to hang up - he felt better.
“Will you guys come visit me here?” He asked, rubbing the last of his tears away from one of his eyes. “Here in Pallet Town? I know you’ve been here, Kukui, but Burnet hasn’t.”
“Sure. We could use a trip to Kanto, I think.” The woman replied. She leaned heavily on her husband. “...Are you going to be all right, now?”
Ash nodded. “I think so. I guess Gary was right - I think I needed to cry a little.”
There was a laugh on the other end of the line; Kukui removed his glasses, using the sleeve of his lab coat to dry his face. “Not healthy to bottle up your feelings.” He agreed, clearing his throat. “If you ever need to talk, you know where we are. You mentioned a party, didn’t you? Think you’re ready to go back to it?”
“Uh-huh.” The boy smiled warmly. “Thank you...for everything. I’ll call you guys when it’s over and tell you all about it!”
“Sounds great, kiddo.”
“I love you guys!” It had all of his heart behind it, made him feel warm to say it out loud.
He felt even better when both professors waved and replied: “We love you, too.”
The click of the phone on the receiver didn’t feel melancholy like he’d feared it would. Ash did stare at the blank screen for a while, however, contemplating silently to himself. When he opened up the bedroom door, he found Gary right where the boy said he was going to be. “So…?” Gary shifted in place, his arms crossed in feigned nonchalance. “How’d it go?”
Ash rocked back on his heels, hands in his pockets. “It went...good.” He decided, at last. The smile that krept onto his face felt genuine, and Gary must’ve been convinced because he returned it. “Turns out they feel the same way about me, and they miss me a lot, too. We’re gonna keep in touch a lot, and I’m allowed to come back and visit them whenever I want. I feel a lot better, now.”
“Good.” His former rival reached out, mashing a hand down on Ash’s head in a way that felt fond. “I haven’t seen you that upset since we were little. I’m a little jealous, y’know: you just run around to all these regions and make tons of friends, even get yourself a new set of parents. Must be nice, being so well-liked.”
The dark-haired boy burst out laughing, pushing Gary’s hand away as the taller boy began chuckling with him. “Hey--” Ash started, once their amusement had begun to fade, “Thanks for being here.”
“Ahhhh…” Gary waved off his gratitude with a flip of his hand, stepping back. “Don’t sweat it. You’d have done the same for any of us.”
“I’ll be honest: I never would’ve expected that kinda pep talk from you.”
“Watch it, Ashy-Boy.”
With a snort, Ash gestured for Gary to join him as he made his way to the stairs. “I just mean...I’m glad you even wanted to help. I’m happy we’re friends again.”
The snark and the smirk on Gary’s face flickered out and became something warmer. “Me too. You ready to rejoin society, now?”
With a nod and a widening grin, Ash grabbed Gary by the wrist and took off down the stairs. As he burst out of the back door to a good amount of fanfare, he found it no longer bothered him as much that his Alolan family wasn’t there. They didn’t need to be there in person; like each and every one of his friends, Professor Kukui and Professor Burnet had a warm home right in his heart and he in theirs.