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After living with Cecil for the better part of a year, Carlos was used to Cecil’s night owl habits. The radio host would often stay up late to work on notes for his show the following day, draining several cups of coffee to do so. He would then join the scientist in their king sized bed until Carlos’s alarm would sound. They had a good routine and would do their best to not wake up the other with their comings and goings. Recently, however, Carlos began to notice a shift in Cecil’s behavior. Some nights Cecil would wake in the early hours of the morning and sit in the living room, some nights he wouldn’t even come to bed, moving directly to the living room. Carlos himself had a hard time sleeping at night. He had reoccurring nightmares of smiling gods, oak doors that disappeared as soon as he touched them and deep, rumbling earthquakes that shook the earth until the ground opened like a gaping maw and swallowed him alive. The worst ones were the nightmares where he would continuously chase after Cecil’s retreating form, only for Cecil to just be out of reach or for it to be Kevin, Cecil’s double with the horrible smile and no eyes. After each nightmare, he would wake, shaking and sweating, and immediately reach for Cecil. On the nights where Cecil was still in bed, Carlos would wrap himself around the sleeping form of his boyfriend to reassure him of their shared existence. On the nights where Cecil had already left the bed, Carlos would seek him out and return him to bed. They would then spend the rest of the night wrapped in each other’s arms, neither saying a word. This had gone on for the better part of a month, since Carlos’s return from the desert otherworld, and Carlos was beginning to worry.
One night after a late dinner, Carlos approached Cecil about his night time isolation. Cecil was sitting in the living room, listening to Daft Punk’s Discovery album on vinyl and writing notes for the next’s day show.
“Hey Cecil, is everything alright?” Carlos asked, concern lacing his voice.
Cecil carefully lifted the needle off of the record and turned to his boyfriend, his expression blank as he replied, “Yeah, everything’s fine Carlos. I’m just working on tomorrow’s show.”
Carlos frowned slightly, not believing his boyfriend. He decided not to press the issue and shrugged, “Well, I had a pretty long day at the lab. I’m going to get to bed. Care to join me?”
Cecil shook his head, “No, I’m not tired. You go ahead, I’ll join you later.”
With a slight nod, Carlos turned and walked toward the couple’s bedroom. Behind him, the sounds of Daft Punk began again. With a sigh, Carlos closed the door to the bedroom and got ready for bed alone.
~~
The wind howled and kicked up sand around Carlos as he ran after the shadow in front of him. He had somehow returned to the desert otherworld alone and he was scared. Well, scientifically speaking, he was in full on panic mode. He knew that the shadow in front of him was his darling Cecil, but no matter how fast he ran and how hard he struggled against the sand, he just couldn’t catch up to Cecil, who was having no trouble with the sandstorm.
“Cecil, please!” Carlos called, trying to not choke on sand. “Please wait!”
Strangely, Cecil stopped. With a cry of relief, Carlos surged forward, catching up to his beloved Cecil. He grasped Cecil’s shoulders and went to pull him closer, but Cecil wouldn’t budge. Confused and hurt, Carlos gazed at his boyfriend’s impassive face.
“Mi amor, why are you acting like this?” Carlos asked, face laced with pain as the sand continued to whip around the pair.
“You should have just stayed here,” Cecil whispered, his voice barely rising above the howling wind.
“What?” Carlos gasped, feeling tears forming in his eyes.
“You should have just stayed here!” Cecil repeated, his voice never rising above that dreaded whisper.
“Cecil, you can’t mean that,” Carlos reasoned as Cecil pulled away from him.
“Just die already,” Cecil spat with disgust as he turned and disappeared into the sandstorm.
“Querido, no!” Carlos cried, sinking to his knees. “Please come back!”
There was no reply, only the howling wind as it intensified around Carlos. Carlos’s field of vision blurred and the tears began to fall, mixing with the turbulent desert sand.
“Cecil Palmer, I-.”
Carlos wrenched himself awake, sitting up with a choked sob. He was sweating and shaking in the aftermath of yet another horrible nightmare, sobs wracking his body as he tried to calm himself down. He instinctively shot his hand towards Cecil’s side of the bed, once again finding it empty. He jerked his head around the room, trying to find Cecil with no avail. He leapt from the bed, shoving his glasses on his face as he went and made his way out to the living room calling Cecil’s name as he went. He reached the living room and let out a sigh of relief as he spotted Cecil, who was looking up at him from the couch with worry.
“Carlos? What’s wrong?” Cecil asked, rising from the couch. “Are you alright? What happened?”
Carlos didn’t reply, he just ran forward and grabbed Cecil, pulling his boyfriend in close before burying his face in Cecil’s chest. He felt Cecil wrap his arms around him and he registered the fact that Discovery was once again playing on the turntable.
“Nightmare,” Carlos muttered. “I had a nightmare that I was trapped in the desert otherworld and that you left me there to die.”
Carlos felt Cecil stiffen against him before hugging him tighter, “You know that I would never do that to you Carlos. You know deep down that I never would.”
“I know cariño,” Carlos murmured into Cecil’s chest. “It just frightened me, that’s all.”
There was a moment of silence as the beginnings of Something About Us began to play. Cecil once again tightened his hold on Carlos, his face buried in Carlos’s hair.
“I had a nightmare as well,” Cecil confessed. “I’ve been having the same one ever since you came back.”
“Tell me about it?” Carlos asked, swaying the two of them with the music.
“You return from the desert otherworld, but the minute I turn my back, you’re gone again,” Cecil muttered, swaying with Carlos. “And I look for you everywhere, but I can never find you. Finally, I do find you and you’re…”
Cecil trailed off and Carlos felt Cecil shake with silent sobs. He hugged Cecil tighter as he felt tears in his own eyes. The two stood locked together in a tight embrace, swaying gently as the vocals gently came through the turntable’s speakers.
“It might not be the right time; I might not be the right one. But there's something about us I want to say, cause there's something between us anyway. I might not be the right one; it might not be the right time. But there's something about us I've got to do. Some kind of secret I will share with you: I need you more than anything in my life. I want you more than anything in my life. I'll miss you more than anyone in my life. I love you more than anyone in my life.”
The song faded back to the instrumental part, leaving Carlos and Cecil to continue swaying with the beat. It was oddly soothing for Carlos, who pulled back to softly kiss Cecil. Cecil returned the kiss, tears running down his face. Carlos pulled back once more and cupped Cecil’s face with his hand. Cecil leaned into the hand, nuzzling it slightly.
“Cecil, I promise that no matter what, I will never leave you like that again,” Carlos whispered, resting his forehead against Cecil’s. “I never want to be apart from you that long again. You are my everything. Not scientifically speaking because you’re not what composes my structural being, but you are my emotional everything. You are the center of my universe and I never want to hurt you like this again. I want to be with you for the rest of our existences and that is the one thing I can promise you: my existence with you.”
Cecil pulled back from Carlos, his eyes widening slightly, “Carlos the Scientist, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Carlos swallowed and nodded before whispering, “Marry me?”
With a bout of renewed sobs, Cecil threw his arms around Carlos’s neck and kissed him with a passion that Carlos gladly returned. As they kissed, the song slowly faded out, forgotten by the now happy couple. The universe was not alright, they knew, but it was getting better.