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It’s Friday when it happens. Quinn’s at her locker and she can see Rachel at hers, across the way. She looks fucking great today, in a short skirt and a sweater that doesn’t have an animal printed on it, and Quinn almost can’t blame Finn for going up to her, looking like a lost, lovesick puppy. Almost.
She knows Finn doesn’t know Rachel’s hers, no one does, save for Rachel, herself, Santana and Brittany and well, Rachel’s dads, but she hates how he thinks he can just walk up to her girlfriend and put on the moves. It makes her stomach turn more than a little. Of course, it wasn’t that she didn’t trust Rachel, it wasn’t that in the slightest, Rachel was the most trustworthy person she’d ever dated, but she certainly didn’t trust Finn, the residual romantic feelings he had for Rachel, and well, she couldn’t help but be afraid that Rachel had those residual feelings as well. She knew Rachel loved her, she knew she was committed, but she also knew that Finn had been her first love, her everything for sometime, and that being closeted had been hard on them both. She watches as Finn flirts, and finds herself upset over the fact that all she had a right to do in that moment was watch.
She wanders closer though, as she usually does after getting things from her locker, so that she can walk Rachel to class, and listens into the conversation. “So, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to get dinner tonight?” Finn asks, and Quinn feels a little bit of sick pleasure in the grimace that crosses Rachel’s face. She was clearly more than opposed to the idea, and Quinn couldn’t deny how good that felt.
“Uh, no thank you, Finn,” Rachel says, as she catches Quinn’s eye and the grimace fades to the bright smile Quinn just loves to see.
“Really?” he asks, sounding more than a little shocked that Rachel had turned him down, “Are you sure? I thought we had, you know, something?”
Rachel shakes her head, her eyes never leaving Quinn’s. “No, I don’t believe we do, have something that is, I appreciate you asking, but I’m not interested,” she says, quickly stepping out of his way and towards Quinn.
Finn looks flabbergasted, and Quinn can’t help but feel absolutely smug as Rachel reaches her and whispers, “God, can he not take a hint?”
Quinn laughs lightly, and she feels fucking good that Rachel turned Finn down, and that she clearly doesn’t return his feelings, but there’s something building in her stomach, a feeling she can’t deny. She really wishes she could kiss Rachel right then, let Finn finally get the hint.
•¥•
It’s in math, with Santana and Brittany that Quinn gets the feeling again. Brittany has her arm thrown around Santana’s shoulders, and Santana’s head is tucked into the crook of Brittany’s neck, and it’s so casually intimate Quinn could cry. The two of them were just wrapped around each other happily, ignoring pretty much everyone around them. “I love you,” Brittany whispers and Santana smiles, pressing a kiss to the corner of Brittany’s mouth, and it’s so soft and loving, Quinn immediately feels overwhelmed.
Quinn looks away from them, her chest tightening at just the sight. It hurts. She wants to be with Rachel like that more than anything, she wants to be openly in love with her, so fucking much. Looking at her two best friends, she wonders what she’s so scared of. There’s nothing wrong with love, she should be proud. So she decides then, with a mix of jealousy over Finn and pride for loving Rachel filling her heart, that she’s going to come out. If that’s what Rachel wants anyways.
•¥•
She’s at Rachel’s house that night and they’re kissing, as they often do, because Quinn can’t quite get enough of her girlfriend, but she knows she needs to put this on hold to talk to her about coming out, about going public with their relationship, so she pulls away and desperately tries not to let Rachel’s whimper and pout convince her to kiss more. “Rachel,” she says softly, her voice full of sheepishness.
“Yeah baby?” Rachel asks, sounding confused, “is something wrong?”
Quinn quickly shakes her head, and plants a kiss on Rachel’s lips to reassure her. “I just…” she pauses, trying to decide how to get the words out, “Rach, I don’t want to hide anymore.”
Rachel lets out a soft gasp. “Are you serious?”
Quinn nods. “Deadly. I am tired of hiding this. I love you Rachel, god I love you so fucking much and I want the world to know. I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed of you, because I am so, so not,”
Rachel can’t help but kiss her. “Darling, if this is about me, if you think I think you’re ashamed of me, I know you’re not, I know how religious your family is, I know we’re not closeted because you want to be. You don’t have to worry about that, but if you really want to do this, I want nothing more,” Rachel says.
“It’s not just about you, it’s about me too, I am tired of being ashamed of my sexuality, and scared of my parents’ reactions. I’m gay, that’s not going to change, and I am no longer gonna hide it,” Quinn says and Rachel’s heart almost bursts with pride.
“Quinn, I am so so proud of you, and so proud to be with you, I want the world to know I’m yours.”
Quinn smiles so brightly, pulling Rachel against her and pressing a kiss to her temple. “I love you,” she says, “Thank you so much for sticking with me through this.”
Rachel’s grip around her tightens. “Always,”
•¥•
She decides the first thing she has to do is come out to her mother. If she doesn’t, and her and Rachel come out at school, word would get around, and somehow, it would find its way into her mom’s church gossip mill. So she decides, when she comes home on Saturday night for dinner, that it’s time.
Rachel and her fathers have repeatedly assured her that if this goes bad, she has a place with them always, and she appreciates it more than anything, but she can’t help but want it to go well. Her and her mom had gotten close again, since Beth, and she doesn’t really want to lose that, at all, but her gayness was something that was going to come out eventually, and she supposes sooner is better than later.
Her mom is at the counter, cooking something when Quinn finally gains the courage, “Mom?” she says, and she hates how nervous she sounds.
“Yes Quinnie?”
She takes in a deep breath, closing her eyes and picturing Rachel’s soft smile and how good it would feel to have her in front of the whole world, “I’m… I’m gay,” she says, and the gasp Judy lets out scares the shit out of her.
Judy doesn’t turn away from whatever she’s making for a long time, and Quinn lets out a sad sigh. Her mom grips the counter, and finally turns. “I know, Quinn,” she says, and she sounds incredibly defeated.
“What do you mean you know?”
Judy meets her eyes. “You and Rachel aren’t as sneaky as you think apparently,” she says, and Quinn hates how she doesn’t sound teasing like the Berrys would be, but also how she doesn’t sound quite mad, just sort of quietly sad, “I caught you both, sleeping on the couch together after church three Sundays ago.”
Quinn can barely breathe. “So you knew? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because Quinnie, I really didn’t want it to be real.”
That hurts. It hurts so fucking much. “I was hoping you and the Berry girl just had a weird relationship.”
Quinn sighs. God this fucking sucks. “So, I’m gonna go then,” Quinn says, and Judy reaches out and catches her.
“Quinn, honey, I don’t want to lose you again,” she says, and Quinn can’t believe she said that.
“So, what do you want to do then? Clearly you don’t accept me, and I’m certainly not going to change, so what are we gonna do?” she asks, softly, trying to fight the tears welling in her eyes.
Judy just looks at Quinn for a moment, and it’s charged, a lot of tension between the two of them, a mother and a daughter, not quite ready for this to fall apart. “Quinnie, I’m willing to try. I don’t understand this, or your feelings for her, but I am willing to try, because I love you, and I don’t want to lose you,” Judy says and Quinn supposes it’s something.
“I love Rachel, mom,” Quinn says, as Judy drops her hands off of Quinn and looks to the ground, “I don’t want to lose you either, but this is who I am, and I don’t want to be afraid to share that anymore.”
Judy nods. “I wish I could understand, but I am really willing to try, Quinn, if this is who you are.”
Quinn smiles just the smallest amount, a little sad smile. “Okay mom. Okay. I appreciate it, but I still think I need to get out of here for tonight. I’m sorry,” she says, and Judy just lets her go.
Quinn can’t help but think that as much as that hurt, it could’ve gone a lot worse.
•¥•
Knocking on the door, she is greeted by Hiram Berry, a small frown on his face. “Not to say that I am unhappy with your presence, but I was really hoping all would go well with your mother and that we wouldn’t see you tonight,” he says as he ushers her in.
“Well, it didn’t go horrible to say the least, she wants to try,” Quinn says, and Hiram nods, like it’s words he’s heard before, “but… I couldn’t be there tonight, I just wanted to be somewhere I knew I was accepted fully.”
Hiram smiles at that. “Well Quinn, you will always have that here. Both LeRoy and I love you, and want the best for you.”
Quinn appreciates his words so much but she’s worried that if she says something she’ll start to cry, so she just nods, and Hiram seems to get it. “Rachel’s upstairs, I know she’s what you’re really here for,” he says.
Quinn smiles at him, “Thank you,” she says, and it’s for more than just Rachel’s whereabouts, and she knows the man knows that, when he nods and lets her go up the stairs to his daughter’s bedroom.
Slowly she pushes the door open to Rachel’s room, her girlfriend is at her desk, working away on what looks like sheet music, not even lifting her head. “Hey,” Quinn says softly, causing Rachel to jump a little bit.
“Honey,” Rachel says when she recovers, immediately getting up from her desk and crossing the room to wrap Quinn in her arms, “I was hoping I wouldn’t see you tonight.”
Quinn lets out a half hearted laugh at that. “Your dad said the same thing,”
Rachel hums, tangling her hand in Quinn’s and pulling her to the bed, laying down and wrapping herself around Quinn. “I take it it didn’t go well?” Rachel says, rubbing soothing patterns along Quinn’s arm.
“Well, it could’ve been worse,” Quinn says, Rachel sighing in relief, “I didn’t get kicked out and she said that she wants to try.”
“I suppose that’s good,” Rachel says optimistically.
“Rach, she knew, she knew about us,” Quinn can’t help but share that detail.
“What?” Rachel nearly shouts.
“She caught us having a nap together, when we fell asleep watching cartoons three Sundays ago, and she told me she’s known since then,” Quinn whispers.
“Oh baby, I’m sorry, we can try to be more careful,” Rachel says, and Quinn immediately frowns, distancing herself a bit from the girl.
“Rachel, that’s the exact opposite of what I want to do. The whole point of this was that I don’t want to hide this anymore. In fact,” she says, pausing to shrug the cheerios jacket she was wearing off her shoulders, “if you want, I was thinking I could drive you to school and I could hold your hand and you can wear this, so everyone knows I’m your girlfriend, even when I’m not around… if that’s something you’d want.”
Rachel sits up, grabbing the jacket from Quinn’s outstretched hands and admiring the red fabric in her hands. “You really want me to wear this? Finn had made a point to barely even let me touch his,”
Quinn frowns at that, she doesn’t like hearing stories about when Finn and Rachel dated, because god, he treated the girl poorly, and it bugs her to no end that there was ever a time Rachel wasn’t getting the best. She hates with her whole heart that Finn hadn’t been proud to have Rachel, and so now that Quinn can be proud, she’s going to be. “Yes. I am certain it’s bound to be simultaneously the cutest and hottest thing ever, and I really like the idea that it shows that we’re together, and that you’re off limits,” she says.
“Ooh, Miss Fabray, a little possessive are we?” Rachel says, pulling the coat on.
Quinn can’t deny she definitely has a bit of a possessive streak, and well seeing Rachel in that jacket, it’s easily the best thing she’s ever seen. The sleeves are just a bit too long, and Quinn knows when Rachel stands it’ll fall below the line of her shirt, and it’s just absolutely perfect, seeing Rachel in her jacket, with her name stitched on the left sleeve. “Rach, fuck, you look absolutely great in that jacket,” she says, leaving Rachel blushing.
“Well, I suppose I will have to wear it to school on Monday then, won’t I?” she says teasingly, leaning forward into Quinn’s space, fishing for a kiss.
“Definitely.” Quinn responds, and she leans in and gives Rachel exactly what she’s looking for.
•¥•
Monday morning brings a big shock for almost every student at McKinley high. Quinn Fabray walks in the front door, holding hands with Rachel Berry, who is wearing her cheerios jacket. All eyes follow them as they stop at Rachel’s locker and Rachel presses a kiss to Quinn’s lips.
Quinn didn’t particularly like all the attention, but she had known it was coming. It had to be when the head cheerleader boldly walks in with her “new” girlfriend, but Quinn can’t help but wish they’d buzz off for a moment. Rachel grabs things from her locker and then turns to her, “You know,” she says, slipping her hands just between where the top of her uniform meets the skirt, “I think I love this jacket. It’s so soft and it smells like you. I’m not sure you’re ever getting it back.”
Quinn pulls one of Rachel’s hands from her side, entwining their fingers and toying with the too long sleeves, before looking her girlfriend in the eyes. Seeing Rachel in that jacket, holding her hand in public, kissing her, it was all too fucking perfect. Even with all the stuff with her mom still to come, having Rachel like this was so worth it. “Don’t worry Rach, I don’t think I ever want it back,” she says, and she kisses Rachel like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and in that moment, it is.
She couldn’t wait to see the look on Finn’s face either.