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They were messing with him. They had to be, Bruce was sure of it. He’d gotten to know everyone rather well these past few years and there was a certain atmosphere to the room that existed when Loki was pulling or planning on pulling some kind of prank.
That mischievous glint in Loki’s eyes was what had Bruce so convinced he’d win this bet in the first place. At least until Heimdall had backed him up, declaring the ridiculous story Loki had told to be truth, and written. Or Something sophisticated like that.
“Please tell me you have pictures”
Loki grinned, “oh, I can do better than pictures. Watch this”
Bruce snuck a glance at Heimdall as Loki called out for his brother, his expression was stoic, and if Bruce hadn’t spent a good chunk of time recently trying to learn to read him and his many Loki-based expressions, he probably would have missed the glint of amusement in his eyes.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to discern if that amusement was due in part to his fooling of Bruce, or simply because the memory was such a fond one. So instead, he turned to Val, she tended to be an easier read, rarely bothering to school her emotions or disguise how she felt. She had told him once that there was no reason for her to put effort into a lie because she could just tell the truth and force someone to do what she wanted anyways.
Of course, Bruce had been too intimidated to point out that there were other reasons to lie that weren’t for persuasion. But the fact remained, she was a bad liar and Bruce was going to use that to determine exactly what was going on.
At least he would have, if she had still been paying attention, instead she had taken to pluming the feathers in a quiver full of arrows and it was clear Bruce would get nothing more than her earlier agreement that it was indeed known to be true.
“Here he is” Loki called out as he re-entered the room, the love of Bruce’s life in tow behind him.
“Banner!” Thor grinned, his smile brightening the room around him and causing Bruce’s heart to skip at least three beats before settling once more. “Loki tells me you were reminiscing on Adventures Past! Is that true?”
Bruce nods and looks suspiciously at Loki, who’s grin stretched a little too wide.
In an instant, both Thor and Loki had transformed, the younger a fair maiden in her feminine form and dressed stylishly in a dated Nordic dress, while Thor stood beside her in an elegant and elaborate wedding gown that was cut smartly to show off his biceps and to accentuate curves he didn’t have, with a thick veil covering his face.
The ostentatious bouquet was a finishing touch that Bruce almost thought unnecessary as the rest of the display already had him desperately trying to fight off a blush and even more so to keep it from travelling south.
Bruce started to say something along the lines of “that doesn’t actually prove anything” or “anyone can put Thor in a dress” or hell, even “I can’t take it anymore, please turn him back before I grow green and jump him in front of all of you”
But none of it quite escaped the cotton in his mouth before Thor exclaimed, “Loki! You told Banner of this!?”
And before That sentence had properly registered, she was before him, palm outstretched “pay up!” she almost sang, damn it. Not another lost bet, at this rate he was going to completely run out of cookies and who knew when they’d find a planet with flour, or even sugar!
While Bruce dug into his stash of cookies, Loki gently nudged her brother, “I know not why you scorn this form so brother, to be embarrassed in this way.” She lifted her arms and twirled, her dress moving around her like liquid, an elegant design that pulled the eyes towards it as it flowed around her.
“It is different,” Thor pouted, his lower lip sticking out slightly and decidedly Not helping Bruce calm down as he stared at it. Thor had long since tossed the veil and bouquet and was now standing with his arms crossed, the muscles there on full display. “It was not your folly that lead us there, and your form suites such a design.”
Bruce watched as a red flush spread across his boyfriend’s cheeks and ears and then as it spread further down his neck and to his shoulders. It tempted him to trail his eyes further down, but he kept his gaze steady instead. He handed the cookies to Loki, and ignored as she ate them with the relish she reserved for the times she won their many bets.
Her gaze locked with Heimdall as she ate the last one, before she turned back to her brother. “Oh? And what of those times you dressed as a Valkyrie in our youth?”
Val snorted.
“That’s different too!” Thor sputtered “Valkyries are great warriors! And I didn’t know boys couldn’t join!”
“Whatever,” Loki shrugged, and moved to leave the door “I have won my wager as was my intent.”
“whatever” Bruce muttered under his breath, “I have won my wager… my intent. What a Jackass”
The last part was said to Thor, Bruce daring to look once more upon the unnecessarily attractive deity, “she is right about one thing though,”
Thor looked towards him, soft blue eyes wide with curiosity. Likely wondering what exactly someone like Loki could be right about, “What is that, Darling Banner?”
“Something like this really shouldn’t embarrass you” he was referring to the dress Thor had no right looking so delicious in.
“Should I not? I lost my gifted hammer due to hubris, was too cowardly to ask Freya for her help for fear of her anger, and allowed Loki to dress me up so that I may be wed to a-“
Bruce coughed, “yeah, that all sounds… pretty bad actually. I probably wouldn’t ever be able to live past it if I did something like that and Tony was there to remember it”
He shuddered just thinking about it.
But Bruce met Thor’s eyes “I only meant to say you look, uh… really good in that dress, Thor”
Thor’s eyes widened and the blush from earlier was back in full force, giving Bruce a burst of confidence that he decided to act on. Now or never.
“In fact,” he said, lowering his voice and grabbing Thor’s hand to lead him down the hall to their shared rooms, “If you want the dress off so bad, I think I can help with that”