Archive of Our Own

The first time Neil vaguely thought that something weird was going on with Andrew was when he came home one day to find Kevin Day in his house, unannounced.

The moment Neil opened the door, Kevin got right up in his face. “Do you have anything to say in your defence?” Kevin asked, his eyes shimmering with anger that Neil didn’t quite understand but was already annoyed by.

For once Neil really couldn’t think of anything he had done that could have pissed Kevin off so much.

“What are you talking about?” he snapped at Kevin, squeezing past him to get into the house.

What was Kevin doing at his place anyway? 

Technically, it wasn’t his house. It was Andrew’s but Neil still lived there. Nicky had left the house in Columbia to Andrew when he moved back to Germany to be with Erik. Since Aaron had gone off to Chicago with Katelyn in tow to become a doctor, Andrew had been the obvious choice if they didn’t want the house to be neglected. Neil couldn’t quite remember how he had ended up living with Andrew but he didn’t care. It had been over two years now and it didn’t matter anymore. Their living situation worked well the way it was.

“I asked Andrew weeks ago to help me shift some skids from a new delivery that’s coming in in three days and he just cancelled on me today,” Kevin explained but Neil still didn’t know how that had anything to do with him.

“So?” he asked tiredly, just wanting to take a hot shower, order some take-out and relax in front of the television as soon as Andrew would get home.

Neil rid himself of his heavy jacket and boots, trying very hard to tune Kevin out but that seemed to be an impossible adventure.

“He said you need help on the same day because you got a massive order in on short notice,” Kevin almost growled.

Neil wasn’t scared of Kevin. Actually, he never had been. They had known each other for so long now that Neil just wanted to laugh at Kevin’s regular little tantrums.

He walked away from Kevin and into the kitchen to put the kettle on. When Neil turned around Kevin was right there. Of course, he was. Neil hadn’t expected him to just quietly leave. He was in the middle of a rant after all, one that Neil would not take the blame for.

“Listen,” Neil said, grabbing a mug out of the cupboard. “I don’t know what you want me to say. When I asked Andrew for help, he said yes. I didn’t know he had already made other plans. Take it up with him if you have a problem. My conscience is clear.”

Neil just stood there, leaning against the kitchen counter and holding Kevin’s angry glare without budging. He had learned how to deal with Kevin but Kevin didn’t seem to be aware of that. Neil’s casualness probably just wired him up even more.

After what felt like an eternity, Kevin just huffed and turned around.

Neil watched his retreating back, a smug grin gracing his lips when Kevin yelled, “This is not over!”

The sound of the door slamming shut told Neil that Kevin was gone. Thank fuck.

His thoughts were drifting to Andrew but Neil wondered only briefly why Andrew had agreed to help him at the cake shop when he had already promised Kevin to give him a hand on the same day. But as soon as the water in the kettle began to boil, Neil’s mind was blank and he didn’t bring this whole debacle up with Andrew either later in the evening.

# # #

The second time Neil realised that something odd was going on with Andrew was when Nicky, Erik, Aaron and Katelyn came to visit for Thanksgiving.

Abby and Wymack had invited everyone over to their house for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Neil had been forced to sweet-talk Andrew into going but as soon as they had stepped through the door of the Wymack household, Neil knew that Andrew was glad to be there.

The look they shared as soon as Abby opened the door for them and engulfed them in a friendly hug told Neil everything. Andrew liked to pretend that he didn’t care about anything or anyone but he actually reciprocated Abby’s hug, albeit not as enthusiastically.

Neil grinned at him from over Abby’s shoulder. Andrew shot him a death glare but Neil only laughed and walked into the house to greet the others.

Later that same evening, Nicky was talking animatedly about how Erik’s parents had promised him a more or less traditional American Christmas this year. He went on to explain how Christmas in Germany differed from Christmas in the States, and he told some stories from past Christmas celebrations in the Klose household.

Admittedly, Nicky’s stories were fun and interesting, not that Neil didn’t already know how people in Germany celebrated Christmas, but the look Andrew shot him from across the room moved his attention from Nicky to Andrew in a matter of a second.

They just stared at each other, Neil trying to coax an annoyed smile out of Andrew without getting the anticipated reward but there was something else in Andrew’s eyes, something that probably no one but Neil could decipher.

Andrew’s stare was as empty as usual to anyone but him.

Eventually Neil silently got up from his spot on the floor. No one seemed to question him as everyone’s eyes and ears were still on Nicky and Erik.

The laughter was drowned out as soon as Neil entered the kitchen with Andrew quietly at his heels, much like he expected. Andrew had gotten better with crowds, especially if he knew the people he was surrounded by, but he still had his limits.

“You could just use words sometimes to tell me what you want,” Neil said mockingly before he poured a mug full of hot chocolate from the stove, not for himself but for Andrew.

He passed the steaming mug over to Andrew who was already sitting on the kitchen isle, holding out his hands expectedly. It was weird how in sync they were but Neil didn’t think much of it. They had just spent a lot of time together.

“Where would the fun in that be, Josten?” Andrew quipped at him before he took a careful sip of his hot chocolate.

Neil just chuckled and shook his head before he made himself a cup of tea, no added sugar. Andrew just wrinkled his nose at that.

# # #

The third time Neil came to think that something out of the ordinary was going on with Andrew was when Andrew came to see him at the cake shop one day.

Everyone they knew had pointed out at one time or another how odd it was that Neil was the one who was baking cakes and sweets for a living, not Andrew. And Neil had to admit they all had a valid point. Neil didn’t eat candy, at least not often, and Andrew was obsessed with them. But maybe that was the exact reason why it was a good idea that Andrew was not surrounded by sugary treats all day.

Neil was just decorating an anniversary cake for a custom order when he heard the little doorbell above the entrance ring. He looked up, the piping bag containing orange icing still in his hands, when Andrew came strolling into the shop. Not a big surprise in and of itself since he came in on the same day every week to pick up some cupcakes.

There was a different surprise though. Andrew was wearing his signature black clothes but something was off. The shirt was a little tighter, the jeans a little more snug than usual. Why Neil was able to notice that at a first glance, he really couldn’t tell, but that didn’t stop his brain from short circuiting.

He had always been aware of how attractive Andrew was, objectively. Even though he didn’t swing in any direction, Neil could appreciate another person’s beauty without wanting to jump them. And he had to admit, Andrew looked exceptionally handsome when he came to a halt in front of him.

Neil looked his fill, his eyes wandering Andrew up and down without him realising he was doing it. He had no clue how long that had been going on when Andrew cleared his throat and calmly said, “Neil.”

It was a futile attempt to get Neil’s attention as he couldn’t force his intense stare away from Andrew.

Only when Andrew leaned over the counter and over the cake to grab a hold of Neil’s chin, finally bringing his eyes up to Andrew’s equally beautiful face, did Neil focus in on Andrew calling his name. “Josten.”

The amused urgency in his voice let Neil forget his entire surroundings, his concentration gone completely. He didn’t think of the piping back in his hands, involuntarily squeezing it so tight, he spilled almost the entire bag of orange frosting over the white cake.

By the time Neil noticed the debacle, he jumped back from the counter, away from Andrew’s hot touch, away from the momentarily ruined cake.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath as he surveyed the mess he had made.

Neil was close to freaking out, already calculating how long it would take him to salvage the destruction he had caused when he heard Andrew clearing his throat again.

Neil’s eyes were full of panic, no doubt about it, when he looked up at Andrew but Andrew’s face was as expressionless as always when he said, “Four red velvet cupcakes to go.”

Hardly believing the audacity Andrew had to calmly order his freaking cupcakes when he clearly saw that Neil was screwed, Neil just gave up and deadpanned, “You could have said please.”

Now Neil couldn’t care less about the cake. All he wanted to do was strangle Andrew.

# # #

The fourth time Neil considered the possibility that something strange was going on with Andrew was when Andrew was in Chicago, visiting Aaron and Katelyn.

Thankfully, Andrew’s relationship with Aaron had mellowed out over the years, at least more than anyone had ever dared to hope for. Andrew even tolerated Katelyn. He didn’t quite socialise with her but no one had expected him to, least of all Katelyn herself probably. Plus, Andrew didn’t truly socialise with anyone, so in that regard Katelyn was like everyone else which was a win if one was to ask Neil.

The sole fact that Andrew had voluntarily put his feet on a plane to Chicago was a small miracle in itself. The fact that Andrew was now calling Neil in the middle of the night on his third day away was more than just a simple miracle.

They hadn’t spoken or texted since Neil had dropped Andrew off at the airport. There had been no text letting Neil know that Andrew had arrived safely, no message to complain about Aaron or Katelyn, no angry voicemail about the wind in Chicago. Yes, even that was something Neil had been expecting. But none of it happened, at least until now.

“Hey,” Neil said sleepily, running his free hand over his face before he turned the small lamp on his bedside-table on.

“Why are you already in bed, junkie?” Andrew asked, no emotion in his voice whatsoever.

Neil silently rolled his eyes and said, just as emotionless, “I have to be at the shop at 6am tomorrow morning to finish an order.” 

He heard Andrew hum briefly but that was all the acknowledgement he got. Other than that, there was only silence on the other end.

This went on for a few minutes until Neil was sure he was about to fall asleep with Andrew still on the line. His eyes were shut already, his breathing evening out when Andrew said, “Goodnight, Neil.”

Neil for his part was already so far gone, that when his alarm finally rang at 5am the next morning, he couldn’t even remember if that phone call had actually happened or not.

# # #

The fifth time Neil noticed something funny was going on with Andrew was when Andrew came into the shop for his cupcakes one week.

Neil had almost called Andrew earlier to ask if he was actually coming in on his regular day or not because it had already been so late in the day. It was only fifteen minutes before closing when Andrew finally came walking into the shop, his expression neutral and unbothered.

“You’re late,” was all Neil said before he passed a box of Andrew’s red velvet cupcakes over the counter.

Neil had saved them for him. Of course.

They both knew that there was no actual reason for Andrew to come into the shop every week. They lived together, Neil could just bring them home with him. But Andrew knew Neil thought he ate too many sweets. Maybe he didn’t trust Neil to bring him his cupcakes. Who knew.

Andrew didn’t say anything in response. He took his box of cupcakes and went over to one of the five small tables in the shop, sitting down quietly.

Neil watched him as he opened the box and took one of the cupcakes out, careful to peel the paper back from one corner of the cupcake before he licked some of the icing off the top instead of taking a bite.

When Andrew looked over at him, Neil averted his eyes immediately. He felt a blush creeping up on his cheeks, preparing himself for some snarky remark from Andrew that didn’t end up coming after all.

Instead of questioning why Andrew didn’t leave, Neil busied himself with tidying the space up. He got the last couple of cupcakes out of the display, wanting to drop them off at Abby and Wymack’s place on his way home.

Neil barely noticed Andrew’s presence anymore, even when he went over to flip the ‘open’ sign to ‘close.’ It took him another twenty minutes to get everything in order and prepare for the next day before he turned the lights behind the counter off.

He had expected Andrew to be gone by that point but when he stepped around the sales counter, Andrew was standing by the front door, his keys dangling from his right hand, his left hand holding the box with the rest of his cupcakes.

“Ready?” Andrew asked as if it was nothing out of the ordinary for him to wait for Neil to close up the shop.

He didn’t wait for an answer though when Neil just stared at him. The little bell above the door rang again when Andrew opened it, stepping outside and probably knowing full well that Neil would be following him without any further prompting.

# # #

The sixth time Neil observed something a little outlandish going on with Andrew was after him and Andrew had gone out to dinner with Kevin, Thea, Wymack, Abby and Bee.

It had become sort of monthly date between the seven of them, upon Bee’s insistence that was. No one was truly happy about this, well, perhaps with the exception of Abby but everybody still played along. They all got together once a month, holidays and birthdays didn’t count. This had been going on for a while now that no one even protested anymore and more often than not, those nights turned out to be quite entertaining, if Neil said so himself.

Once again, it had been a pretty enjoyable evening, for some more so than others but Neil wasn’t majorly surprised that Andrew didn’t give his true feelings away. Andrew may say he didn’t feel anything but Neil knew that wasn’t entirely true. He was just insanely good at hiding his emotions.

They had taken Andrew’s car out to the diner on the other side of town. Normally the drive took them about half an hour but at some point during their drive back, Neil frowned.

“Where are we going?” Neil asked, turning slightly around to face Andrew, prepared to stare his side profile down until Andrew would give in and tell him where they were headed.

Much to his surprise, it didn’t take long for Andrew to clue him in. “We’re taking the long way home,” he said. “I just need to do something before we go home.”

Neil frowned again but he didn’t question it any further, instead opting to trust Andrew which was something he had started to willingly do the longer they had known each other.

They were on the road for another fifteen minutes before the car came to a halt on top of a hill. Andrew didn’t say anything, instead he just got out and walked in the front of the car.

Neil followed him wordlessly, wondering what on earth Andrew was doing when he stopped right next to Andrew.

“How did you find this place?” Neil asked breathlessly, his eyes fixed on the lights illuminating Columbia just below them, wrapping the whole city in a warm shade of yellow and orange.

It was absolutely gorgeous up there, seeing Columbia, seeing their home from this perspective.

“Wymack,” was all Andrew said in response to Neil’s question.

Neil only nodded, not digging any deeper. If Andrew wanted to tell him more, if there even was more to tell, he would do it on his own accord. Neil knew he wouldn’t force anything out of Andrew that he didn’t want to share anyway.

They just stood there for a while, side by side, with their eyes gliding over every single street light, every lit-up billboard that painted the cityscape in front of them.

“I come up here when I need some time to calm down and sort my head out,” Andrew whispered eventually, his voice so small and barely there that Neil was afraid he hadn’t heard him correctly.

But when he turned his head to side to find Andrew staring back at him, much closer than he was before, Neil knew that he had understood every single word just perfectly.

Andrew’s hands were buried in his jacket’s pockets just like Neil’s and when Neil noticed Andrew’s eyes flicker down to his lips, he wondered if he kept his hands hidden so he wouldn’t be tempted to touch what was right in front of him.

Neil thought that was the exact reason in that moment why he kept his own hands buried in his pockets.

The moment was gone before it had even begun and it struck Neil like a lightning strike, when he realised what he had just thought. His eyes went wide, and he took a step back from Andrew, out of the danger zone, away from unexpected temptation.

“We, uhm,” he stuttered, “we should get back home now. I, uhm, well, you have an early shift tomorrow and I, uhm, I have to be at the shop early too, so we, uhm, we should just go home.”

He didn’t wait for Andrew to agree or disagree with him. Neil knew Andrew would do whatever he asked of him without interrogating him.

Pulling the car door of the passenger seat close behind him, Neil forced his eyes out of the passenger window when Andrew silently slid into the driver’s seat. Neil couldn’t wait to get home and be alone with his messed-up thoughts.

And so began the most awkward car ride they had ever shared together.

# # #

The seventh time Neil suspected that there was something peculiar going on with Andrew was when things just got weird over the next few days.

At first it all seemed just very accidental. Whenever Neil and Andrew were in the kitchen at the same time, they kept bumping into each other. First it was near the stove when Andrew got his garlic bread out of the oven while Neil had to stir the pasta so it wouldn’t burn. Then it happened when Neil stood in front of the open fridge, taking his time to look through it to find the dark chocolate he had tried to hide from Andrew when Andrew reached into the fridge to get out some vanilla pudding, their hands brushing against each other, the touch sending little chills through Neil’s entire body.

As always, Andrew didn’t say anything. If these small touches had affected him as much as Neil, he didn’t show it at all.

Some other evening, they were relaxing on the couch in the living room, just finally coming down from a long day at the shop for Neil and a double-shift for Andrew at the library where he worked and had covered a sick call. Andrew sat crossed-legged on the sofa next to Neil, the movie they had picked out almost coming to end, when Neil noticed that Andrew’s eyes were closed and he was leaning dangerously close to Neil. It only took another handful of seconds for Andrew’s head to drop onto Neil’s shoulder.

And Neil was ready to panic.

Andrew had never been good with touch. He always slept alone, couldn’t stand someone else in bed with him, even if he was awake. And now he was half passed out, leaning into Neil and snuggling into him. He grabbed Neil’s arm and held on to it, no doubt not even knowing that he was doing it.

Neil had already been freaking out after the other night on top of that hill and now this? His poor heart wasn’t made for panic attacks and his mind sure wasn’t equipped to deal with whatever fucked up thoughts about Andrew were swirling around in his head.

Running a hand over his face, Neil was at a loss as to what he was supposed to do now. Andrew’s touch was hot, incredibly so, even with the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing. He didn’t know how he could possibly get out of this situation, so instead of waking Andrew up and making things even more awkward between them than they already were, Neil decided not to do anything.

He grabbed the TV remote from the armrest of the sofa and turned the volume down a little more. Technically he was watching the end of the movie but he had no idea what was actually happening in the film. He was so distracted by Andrew clinging to his arm that nothing else seemed to matter to him at all at that moment.

Fifteen minutes later and the credits were rolling but Andrew was still sleeping peacefully next to Neil, who just kept looking at his face, rarely seeing it so relaxed. He almost jumped when Andrew unexpectedly moved, his head rolling back against the wall the sofa was stood in front of but his hands didn’t let go of Neil’s arms.

Neil really didn’t want to wake Andrew for two reasons. One, because he just couldn’t handle whatever conversation would follow and two, because he didn’t want to disturb Andrew when he was so at peace for once.

But by the time even the credits of the movie came to an end, Neil realised that he really needed to use the bathroom. Against his better judgement, he carefully took Andrews hands and unwound them from around his arm.

Only when that was accomplished was Neil finally free enough to get up but as soon as he did, Andrew’s hand reached up and grabbed his. “Stay,” was the single word that quietly escaped Andrew’s mouth when Neil looked down at him.

For just a second there, Neil thought his heart had literally skipped a beat at that word. He couldn’t tell if Andrew was awake enough to comprehend what he had said, but in that moment, it didn’t even matter. Neil had heard him and that was the only thing that counted.

“I’ll be back,” he whispered, unsure of whether Andrew heard him but when Andrew’s hand let go of him, he figured he was good to go.

His heart and mind were racing, too many unknown emotions swirling through his every vein, most of them he wasn’t prepared to explore and deal with, when Neil finally made his way to the bathroom.

By the time he walked back into the living room, he was about to scream, the thoughts in his head not quieting down, taunting him to find out what was really going on between him and Andrew, but Neil couldn’t do that. Not now, maybe not ever.

He wasn’t prepared to sit back down next to Andrew, the fear of what Andrew might do next and the possibility of waking up next to him with their limbs entangled was too big to ignore.

Neil sighed gratefully when he saw that Andrew had fallen over onto his side and was now lying down on the sofa completely. There was no room for Neil and Andrew was sleeping peacefully. Crisis averted, at least for now, Neil thought.

He still walked over to Andrew to carefully drape a cosy blanket over Andrew’s resting body, and before he realised he was doing it, Neil crouched down in front of Andrew and reached out. He brushed some stray strands of blond hair out of Andrew’s calm face, whispering, “Goodnight, Andrew.”

Neil got up and just wanted to hurry away, the horror of what he had just done catching up to him in record speed.

He would have run if he had been sure that it wouldn’t have woken Andrew up but alas, he just quietly walked out of the room, leaving a sleeping and exhausting Andrew behind.

# # #

The eighth time Neil sensed that something was definitely going on with Andrew was when they went out to Eden’s Twilight with Kevin and Thea as well as Matt, Dan, Allison and Renee. Andrew had been about to protest when Neil told him who was going out with them but it was to no avail, Neil pushed him out the door before Andrew even had a chance to react.

Andrew drove them over to Eden’s while Neil offered to stay sober so he could drive them home and they didn’t have to leave the car. It wasn’t as if Neil drank much to begin with, so not drinking at all wouldn’t do him any harm. He preferred to be sober when he went out anyway and he had a feeling that Andrew would need a couple extra drinks with the company they were expecting.

Neil offered his solution happily but Andrew only growled at him while they made their way to the club. He knew he shouldn’t but Neil couldn’t stop himself from giggling when he saw Andrew’s displeased face. Adding Andrew’s death side-glare and Neil was absolutely done for.

The rest of the rather short car ride was silent. Once they arrived at Eden’s Twilight, Andrew almost kicked Neil out and drove off to park the car. Neil was still grinning to himself when he walked down the sidewalk to the front entrance of the club, greeting the bouncer who motioned for him to squeeze past the crowd to head inside. Not for the first time, Neil thought that knowing certain people definitely paid off more times than not.

He instantly spotted the table where everyone else was already sitting down. Neil briefly waved over there and got an excited wave back from Matt and Dan. Smiling to himself once more, Neil made his way to the bar first to get him and Andrew a drink, water for him and a couple of shots of vodka for Andrew.

Neil had just told Roland what he wanted when Andrew appeared next to him, pushed into his side by fellow club-goers, not that Neil minded much. He had gotten used to their accidental touches more and more, and he had to admit that he had started to crave Andrew’s skin on his. Having Andrew close meant being safe. Security was something Neil first and foremost associated with Andrew.

Andrew downed his vodka as soon as Roland placed the tiny shot glasses in front of him only to order a double whiskey straight after.

“Stop smirking, junkie,” Andrew said without even looking at him before he turned around with his glass in his hand.

Neil knew Andrew too well by that point to say anything back. He just laughed and followed Andrew.

The entire night was way more pleasant than anyone had anticipated. Neil mostly observed his friends, either dancing or drinking or doing both at the same time. They all seemed to have a good time and by 2am even Andrew was smiling once in a while, the alcohol colouring his cheeks in a lovely rosy shade that he would probably try to deny if he knew about it.

Neil and Andrew were the last ones of their group to leave Eden’s Twilight at a little after 3am. The ride back home was just as quiet as the ride to the club had been, but for a completely different reason.

Andrew seemed to have been dozing off as soon as his ass hit the passenger seat but Neil wasn’t bothered. He figured he would just wake Andrew up when they reached the house.

Killing the car engine once they reached their driveway, Neil stole a glance over at Andrew’s sleeping form, his thoughts all over the place. He knew things had changed between them, he just couldn’t work out what exactly had changed and it had been driving him crazy for weeks by that point. He promised himself he would talk to Andrew about his anxiety soon.

When he got out of the car, ready to wake Andrew up, Andrew was already standing next to the passenger seat door, leaning back against the car. He stood there on shaky legs but all that sight did to Neil was put yet another smile on his face.

“Careful there,” he said when Andrew was close to tumbling away.

Neil reached out for Andrew and put Andrew’s arm around his shoulders, guiding him up to the front porch. Andrew very, very rarely got drunk but when he did, there was no saving him. He mumbled incoherent things and Neil just kept agreeing. He highly doubted that Andrew even know what he was saying.

Somehow, they made it into the house. Neil even managed to get Andrew to his own room and into his bed. Miracles do happen, Neil thought as he watched Andrew struggle out of his tight pair of black jeans. Neil helped him out of his thin black sweater. He swallowed hard at the sight of an almost naked Andrew which did surprise him. Neil had seen Andrew semi-naked plenty of times. It wasn’t a new sight and yet it did something to him he couldn’t quite explain.

Shaking his head in a lousy attempt to distract himself, Neil draped a blanket over Andrew and turned to leave when Andrew got a hold of his wrist, the sensation the touch sent through him strangely familiar by now.

Andrew dragged Neil down to sit on the edge of the mattress, his fingers curled tightly around Neil’s skin, sending shockwaves up Neil’s arm.

“Neeeeiiiiil,” Andrew slurred, his eyes still closed.

Neil had no idea how Andrew was even able to form any kind of sounds, let alone an entire word. He would’ve been amused if Andrew’s touch didn’t cause his entire mind to short-circuit so badly.

“I sink eye laugh you,” Andrew drawled, his words so slurred that Neil had no idea how to make sense of the words that passed his lips.

“I know,” Neil just said, petting the back of Andrew’s hand with his free one, “I know.”

Truth be told, Neil didn’t know shit. He had no idea what Andrew had said, no clue what was going on and no idea how he could figure it all out without confronting Andrew and possibly making a complete and utter fool of himself in the process.

# # #

The ninth time Neil found that something truly extraordinary was somehow going on with Andrew was when Andrew approached him one day with an incredible new business plan for his cake shop.

"What is all this?" Neil asked perplexed as he studied the papers that Andrew had dropped on the kitchen isle right in front of him.

Technically Neil knew what it was - a business plan but it was for a business he already had. This didn't make sense.

"About six months ago you mentioned that you want to open up a second location for your shop," Andrew said casually as he opened the fridge and got some ready-to-drink chocolate milk out. When he turned around to Neil again, he off-handedly pointed at the papers in Neil's hands and said, "This is the way of doing that."

Neil just frowned. He wasn't angry or offended that Andrew had taken it upon himself to figure this whole mess out. He was just surprised and quite frankly, Andrew knew more about this shit that Neil did. Andrew did the bookkeeping for Neil's shop and clearly had a better idea of what would work and what wouldn't.

"You really think I can afford to open up a second shop?" Neil asked, still not quite believing what Andrew was saying.

"You could open up at least three more if you wanted to," Andrew shrugged impassively before he finally took a seat next to Neil.

Neil's eyes went comically wide at Andrew's remark. He knew he was staring but he couldn't stop himself. "What are you talking about, Andrew?"

Swivelling around in his seat, Andrew frowned at Neil. "You really don't have any idea how successful your shop is or how much money you're making, do you?"

Now it was Neil who shrugged when he asked, "No?"

Andrew rolled his eyes at Neil's obliviousness. He snatched the papers from Neil and began to explain the whole thing to him. It was probably the most sentences Andrew had ever said to him at once in all the years they had known each other. 

Neil had to admit it, he didn't fully get what Andrew was telling him but he didn't have to. He trusted Andrew and that was all that mattered.

"Andrew, I only got like half of that," Neil said once Andrew was finished, staring at the papers as if they were written in Japanese. "Can you tell me what all this means in words that even I can understand?"

Andrew sighed, which was something he didn't do often, before he said calmly, "If you still want to open a second shop on the other end of town, you are financially in a position where you can do that." He looked at Neil expectedly. "Simple enough words for you?"

Neil only glared at Andrew’s mocking tone of voice but he still thought about Andrew’s words. He opened his first shop more by chance, not because it had been his lifelong dream. His cake shop happened because he was good at it. And because Andrew had suggested it one cold Winter evening three years ago. 

“You have to do it with me,” Neil eventually said after minutes of silence only to see Andrew choke on his chocolate milk.

Andrew coughed a couple of times, clearing his airpipes before he said, “What?”

Neil couldn’t stop himself from giggling at the look of Andrew’s face. He looked positively shocked and for some reason even more confused.

“It would make so much sense, Andrew,” Neil said, turning around in his chair completely so he could face Andrew head on. “You’re already familiar with the business and I can barely do it all by myself with the one shop. I’m not going to be able to get a second shop up and running on my own.”

“You want me to work with you?” Andrew asked him, disbelief and uncertainty still lacing his words. 

Neil only nodded enthusiastically. Of course, he would want to work with Andrew. Why wouldn’t he? Andrew was the perfect man for the job and Neil already dreaded the thought of hiring strangers to help him out too. Having Andrew by his side to keep the books straight would help his state of mind immensely.

“You seriously want us to be tied to each other for what, five, ten years to come? You expect me to make that kind of commitment?”

Andrew clearly didn’t see things the way Neil did, which made Neil question whether this was such a good idea after all. 

He debated briefly with himself but in the end, he said, “Yes. You said the shop makes good money and I trust you. You’ve not managed to get rid of me since we met and we both know you tried relentlessly in the beginning.” He chuckled and shook his head in amusement, Andrew’s death glare back on him. “We made it this far going on each other’s nerves, why would that change? Say yes, Andrew. Join the business.”

Neil couldn’t tear his eyes away when Andrew silently got up and put the rest of his chocolate milk back in the fridge. He wanted to say something, wanted to beg Andrew to say yes but he didn’t. He didn’t want to force Andrew to do anything because he knew he wasn’t going to get the answer he wanted if Andrew felt pushed back into a corner.

“Fine,” Andrew said in passing as he went to walk out of the kitchen. 

The word had barely been a whisper but Neil heard him. “Fine?” he asked Andrew’s back nevertheless as he watched him hurry away.

“Fine.”

Neil didn’t go after him. He just smiled to himself, celebrating his rosy-looking future with Andrew quietly on the inside. 

# # #

The tenth time Neil definitely knew something was going on with Andrew was when he asked Matt and Dan to come over to the shop to tell them the good news.

About three weeks after Neil had struck his deal with Andrew, they had all the details figured out. Thanks to Wymack’s help and his connections, they had found the perfect location for their second cake shop and Andrew’s name was added to the lease as a co-owner of the business. 

Neil had a hard time denying that he wasn’t happy because he really, really was. He was incredibly happy and eagerly looking forward to the next few months. Getting the new shop ready with Andrew’s support was going to be amazing. 

Once the lease was finalised, Neil was ready for his friends to know about his plans as well. He had called Matt and Dan a couple of days ago, asking them if they wanted to come by the shop for a slice of cake and a cup of tea at some point. They had agreed immediately. 

Neil had been rushing around the shop for hours, taking care of custom orders at the same time as replenishing the counter, when the little bell above the door rang. He stole a glance over to the entrance to see Matt and Dan waving at him, bright smiles plastered all over their faces.

Holding up a single finger and indicating an empty table near the window with a ‘reserved’ sign on it, Neil wordlessly told them he would be with them in just a moment.

Knowing their favourite hot drinks by heart, Neil got Dan a cup of the blackest coffee he had to offer and a large cappuccino for Matt. 

“Thanks, Neil,” Dan said, still smiling when Neil brought the drinks over. 

“Give me just a couple of minutes and I’ll be right with you,” Neil said before he checked in with his other customers and served someone else who came in to pick up an order.

Once everyone and everything was taken care of for the time being, Neil grabbed himself a bottle of chilled water out of the fridge and made his way over to his friends.

“Looks like business is booming, man,” Matt said when Neil sat down next to him.

Neil smiled. “It sure it.”

They engaged in some surprisingly charming smalltalk for a little bit. Neil usually hated smalltalk, at least with strangers. It was an entirely different story when he was talking to his friends.

“So,” Dan eventually said, “is there a specific reason you asked us to come here today? Not that we absolutely love the cake, and you of course. We’re just curious.”

Neil cleared his throat but couldn’t wipe that smile off of his face. “Actually, I have some news,” he said, knowing full well he was grinning from ear to ear. “Andrew and I are going to open up a second cake shop.”

Matt and Dan didn’t seem surprised. They smiled and Neil noticed them exchanging a brief look but he was too caught up in his own excitement to question it. 

“That’s amazing, Neil,” Dan said, covering his hand with hers in support.

“Business really is booming if you can open up another shop. That’s incredible, man,” Matt added, grinning as well now.

“So how come Andrew is joining your adventure?” Dan asked before Neil could even thank them for their kind words.

That question threw Neil off for a short moment but he collected himself quickly and told them the story, or at least how he saw it. He told them about Andrew cancelling plans with Kevin to help him out at the store, how Andrew sometimes came in just before closing time to drive home with Neil or how Andrew had come up with the business plan for the second shop in the first place and how Neil asked him to join the business. Andrew had been dedicated to the shop in a weird way for much longer than Neil had realised. 

Neil had been so lost in his own rambling that he barely recognised Matt and Dan’s knowing looks and how they smiled to each other. They had been together for so long, they communicated without having to use actual words.

“So yeah,” Neil said when he finally came to the end of his story. “Andrew has been really helpful and he’s a great friend doing all of this for me.”

Matt leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms while Dan leaned forward in hers and put her hand on Neil’s again.

“Neil, love,” she said, “friends don’t do that.”

Frowning in confusion, Neil looked over at Matt who smirked and shook his head as if to agree with Dan’s statement.

“Do what?” Neil asked when no one told him outright what Dan meant.

Dan sighed but she didn’t seem to be annoyed. She looked amused.

“Friends don’t cancel other plans they made weeks earlier,” Dan said.

“And they don’t come to their workplace just before closing only to pick them up when said workplace is a detour from their way home,” Matt added.

“And they certainly don’t talk about the future and put each other in it the way you guys did.”

Neil frowned in earnest now. “What are you implying, guys?”

“We’re not implying anything,” Dan corrected him. “We’re just going to ask you right upfront. Is there something going on between you and Andrew?”

And then it suddenly hit Neil like a freight train. It all came rushing back to him. Every little detail, everything he thought didn’t mean anything, everything he filed away in a neat little box in his mind to worry about later.

Later was now.

Neil acknowledged how him and Andrew always seem to have conversations with nothing but their eyes, much like Matt and Dan. He remembered Andrew calling him in the middle of the night when he was in Chicago without actually giving him a reason why he called in the first place. Neil thought about that time Andrew came into the store looking handsome as hell and how Neil couldn’t concentrate on anything when he saw Andrew like that, how he even forgot his own name when Andrew was trying to get his attention. He also recalled that drive up to Andrew’s hill top spot after having dinner with Kevin, Thea, Wymack, Abby and Bee that one time. Andrew had been driving slowly, taking a detour to show Neil where he went to clear his head. They had gotten close, too close, and Neil had freaked out. After that Neil had noticed all those accidental touches that gave him chills, none of which seemed very accidental in hindsight. 

But most importantly, Neil finally figured out what Andrew had been trying to say to him after their night out at Eden’s Twilight.

“I sink eye laugh you,” Andrew had mumbled in his alcohol-induced haze.

Now Neil knew better. Friends didn’t do any of those things.

“Fuck,” Neil said, burying his head in his heads. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Matt and Dan were laughing, most likely at him. Neil had been so oblivious and he probably deserved to be laughed at but that didn’t mean he liked it.

“Thanks for your support, guys,” he growled, still not looking at him.

They knew him well. They knew he had just figured it all out, the meaning behind the smallest gestures and the quietest words. He saw it all so clearly now.

“For what it’s worth,” Matt said. “We’re rooting for you two.”

Neil hadn’t even made up his mind about what he was going to do regarding his newfound knowledge about Andrew but Matt and Dan apparently did. And who was Neil kidding? He wouldn’t disappoint them.

# # #

Two torturous hours later, Neil had finally been able to close up the shop. It was a Thursday, so he knew Andrew wouldn’t come by for his weekly cupcakes. Neil had briefly thought about forgoing the cleaning to rush home but he was positive he would hate himself the next morning if all that work would be waiting for him.

Once the cleaning and tidying up was finally dealt with as well, Neil had practically ran to his car with a box of red velvet cupcakes in his hand, careful not to trip to avoid squishing them. He had been dangerously close to running at least two red lights and he had probably violated the speed limit a couple of times as well but Neil didn’t care. 

All he really cared about was getting home and seeing Andrew.

Neil breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Andrew’s black Maserati parked in the driveway. He clambered out of his own car and stormed up the front door, fumbling with the keys until they finally fit the lock.

With the door open and his shoes kicked off, Neil took a second to calm down, to breathe in and collect his thoughts. He had no idea what he was going to say to Andrew or what he even expected to happen, but something had to happen. 

“Andrew?” he yelled through the hallway on his way into the kitchen but he didn’t get a response.

When he tumbled through the door into the kitchen however, Andrew was there, standing right next to the kitchen isle with his beloved chocolate milk in his hands.

“Here,” Neil said, pushing the box of cupcakes across the kitchen isle towards Andrew who opened it to explore its content.

“It’s not Friday,” was all Andrew said, looking bored. At least that was what every other person would have thought looking at him then but Neil knew better. Neil knew him better than anyone. 

There was intrigue in Andrew’s eyes, masked as boredom.

“I know,” Neil eventually replied and then waited.

He didn’t know what he was waiting for but he was stuck for something to say. There were a million things running through his mind, too many to count, too many to consider but he had to start somewhere.

Neil felt Andrew’s eyes on him as he walked around the kitchen isle to stand right across from Andrew, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

“You know,” Neil then said, trying very hard to sort through his confusing thoughts, “I thought this was nothing. I kept telling myself that none of it meant anything.”

Andrew frowned but didn’t interrupt him. 

“I know you better than any other person on this planet and I still couldn’t see it,” Neil continued. “Matt and Dan had to spell it out for me.” He took a step closer to Andrew. “When I look at you now I know that there is something there, something I didn’t know I felt too until today.” Another step in Andrew’s direction, mere centimeters separating them. “You can lie to me and say that it’s all in my head but I know you won’t. You never lie. You only tell the truth, just not always as directly as you could.”

The closer Neil got to Andrew, the wider Andrew’s pupils got. He appeared calm but he was affected by Neil’s closeness and by his words too. He knew exactly what Neil was talking about.

“Why did you cancel those plans with Kevin to help me out?” Neil asked, his eyes following every single twitch of Andrew’s mouth.

“Because Kevin is an idiot and I couldn’t even remember why I agreed to help him out in the first place.”

Neil didn’t buy it, not anymore, but he let it go because he knew better now.

“Why do I get goosebumps every time we accidentally touch?” Neil asked but didn’t wait for a response from Andrew. “Why did you show me your secret hide-out spot on top of the city and why did your eyes flicker down to my lips? Not just then, but right now as well?” Neil noticed it all now. “Why are you regularly taking a detour home just to pick me up at the shop? Why did you call me in the middle of the night when you were in Chicago? Just to say hi? What did you say to me when you were drunk off your ass after our last night out at Eden’s? Why on earth did you work out an entire business plan for me, voluntarily and in your spare time and without telling me? Why did I so eagerly try to get you to join the business? And why the hell do I really want to kiss you right now?”

The silence stretched out between them, neither of them even daring to breathe. Neil just stared and Andrew stared right back, eyes constantly flickering down to each other’s mouths. 

Andrew visibly swallowed before he said, “I think you know the answers to all of those questions.”

Oh yes, Neil did. He knew every single one. 

Neil only smiled smugly.

“Took you long enough to figure it out,” Andrew mocked him, his eyes following Neil’s bottom lip as Neil caught it between his teeth.

“You could have helped me get here faster,” Neil teased, closing that last remaining distance between them. They were as close as they could possibly get without actually touching each other.

“Where would the fun in that have been?” Andrew asked, taking that last, tiny step forward. “Yes or no?”

Finally a question Neil didn’t have to think about. “Yes.”

Andrew’s hands snuck around Neil’s waist the moment their lips connected for the first time. Neil’s own fingers disappeared into Andrew’s messy, blond hair.

They both pushed their bodies against the other, their mouths eagerly exploring each other like there was no tomorrow. Neil couldn’t help but think how touch starved they both truly were.

Kissing Andrew felt like nothing Neil had experienced before. It was all of his favourite things combined, everything he had never allowed himself to have. This now, these kisses, they were a missing piece, the one thing Neil didn’t know he needed but now that he had it, he wanted it all the time.

When Andrew leaned back to catch his breath, he pressed his forehead against Neil’s. His eyes were closed but his breathing was heavy. Andrew had been waiting so long for this, that much was obvious. He had been waiting longer than Neil could even begin to understand.

Andrew’s hands were still holding on tightly to Neil’s waist, shaking lightly, but Neil pretended not to notice. 

“You are such a fool, Josten,” Andrew breathed out. 

His words lacked his usual bite and his breath was ragged. It made Neil smile.

“You sound like you expected something else,” Neil teased him before Andrew leaned in again to press his lips against Neil’s, effectively shutting him up.

Neil got the hint and refrained from laughing into the kiss. 

Andrew was kissing him with the fervour of a drowning man, eager to breathe. As irony would have it though, they only managed to steal each other’s breath, desperate mouths chasing each other in a hopeless attempt for more.

The next time they broke apart, Neil had lost all track of time but he didn’t care. It didn’t matter. Nothing did, other than Andrew’s lips, Andrew’s touch and Andrew’s skin on his when he reached out to grab Neil’s hand to drag him to the nearest bedroom.

They had to make up for all that wasted time and they had to start somewhere.