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English
Series:
Part 7 of Season 10 Codas
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Published:
2019-11-09
Words:
754
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1/1
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5
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32
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who you are

Summary:

"I don't agree entirely with your dad," she said quietly. "But he does do everything he does because he loves you, and you are lucky to know that and to be able to trust in it, no matter what. Not everybody has that with their family. Not everyone has a father who does what he feels is right. Some fathers just do what they find easy."

(Coda for "Higher Standards." After he returns from fishing, Jamie and Eddie have a discussion about the week, about higher standards, and about fathers in general.)

Notes:

The title comes from a Filipino proverb: "Tell me who your father is, and I'll tell you who you are."

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Eddie was curled up on the sofa when he returned home from the pier, tucked in under a thin blanket with the remote in hand. She glanced away from the screen when the door closed behind him, offering a warm smile. “Hey,” she greeted softly, shifting to make room for him to claim the cushion next to her. “You were up pretty early. Did I know you’d left?”

“I tried to wake you, but you muttered a few threats and then waved me away. Figured it was in my best interest to leave you be,” he informed her humorously. “I did leave a note, though.”

“I know. I found it.” She settled on a home renovation show neither of them was likely to pay much attention to. “How was fishing with your dad?”

He shrugged. “Didn’t catch much of anything. Most of what we did was pretty beaten up; ended up tossing them all back.”

“Well, I’m sure they were thankful for that,” she replied wryly, the look on her face making it extremely clear she’d never understand the Reagans’ love of fishing. “Did you talk, though? About everything that happened?”

“We did,” he sighed wearily.

“And?” she pressed.

“And it ended the way most of my conversations with my father do when something like this goes down. He told me he holds me to a higher standard, that he has to.” Jamie shrugged again. “And he’s right to. I just… I wish sometimes I could have a conversation with him about work and feel like I was talking to my dad. That I could make mistakes without…” He shook his head.

“I get it,” Eddie replied gently. “Your dad’s not always able to be your dad, and that – it sucks. But he loves you, Jamie. He loves all of you. And you know that. And you’re – you’re insanely lucky to be able to know that, to trust in it.” She reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers. “I know it’s been a hard few days, and I’m not saying I agree entirely with your dad, but he does do everything he does because he loves you, and he wants the best for you. He doesn’t want to see you hurt. And you can be mad at him for that, for as long as you like, but you need to remember that the entire time you are. Because not everybody has that with their family. Not everyone has a father who does what he feels is right. Some fathers just do what they find easy, and they don't hold their kids to any standards, and that... it causes more damage than the alternative. Way more." 

“I do,” he replied quietly. “And hey, I’m sorry,” he added, squeezing her fingers gently. “I’ve been so busy complaining about my dad these past few days, I didn’t even think about everything you’ve had to go through with yours. It was selfish of me to…”

“No,” she interrupted. “It wasn’t. I accepted a long time ago that my father is who he is. I sometimes forget what I always promise myself I’ll remember, but he always reminds me in the moment when it matters. What I’m saying is, for all his faults, your dad’s a pretty great one, and if we ever have kids, I’d rather you take after him than some other fathers.”

“Being a little like him with my own kids wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, I guess,” he allowed begrudgingly. “But not entirely like him,” he added hastily.

“Of course not,” Eddie acquiesced calmly, biting back a smile.

“Like, if our son were ever to get a two-day rip for throwing water at someone who attacked two cops, I’d take his side.”

“So would I,” Eddie assured him. “Though I find it very unlikely this exact thing would ever happen again, especially to our kid.” She hesitated a moment. “No, they’d be growing up around Danny, so yeah, there is totally a chance it could happen again.”

“He is the hothead of the family,” Jamie nodded. “Even if he tried to hand the title off on Sunday.”

“You did see that conversation he had with Erin, right?” Eddie shook her head amusedly. “He earned it back before we’d even cleared our plates, sweetheart.”

 “He always does,” Jamie agreed mildly, releasing her hand to wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her gently into his side. “So,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “what are we watching?”

Notes:

I tried to stay in-character for this, because while Frank annoyed me more than a few times, Eddie did make some good points, and I really wanted this to expand upon that instead of going down an entirely different path. I wrote how I felt she would've spoken to Jamie if the episode had gone just a bit longer. I hope I did her tone in the episode justice.

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