Chapter Text
Alive
By: Aviantei
0 mph
I walk down the street, bag of groceries hanging off my arm. The handle is digging into the crook of my arm, but I don’t care. It’s not going to kill me, and is only mildly annoying. Even if it ends up cutting off my circulation, there’s no point in moving it, considering my apartment’s only a few blocks away.
It’s not like I don’t feel numb most of the time anyway.
Somewhere along the line, I ended up hitting a slump. It hasn’t gone away. I knew I would probably end up hitting this sort of thing at some point, but it came way sooner than I expected. I was ready for this to happen when I finally make my way to being in my thirties, forties even. Instead, I’m stuck not even halfway through my twenties with enough money to live on for the rest of my life, and I’m bored out of my mind.
No, more than out of my mind. I’m so bored that I think it’s killing me. I don’t know too much about psychology, but I think that’s something that can happen. If a person gives up, it will affect them enough that they’ll shorten their lifespan. But even devastating boredom like this would take far too long to deteriorate my wellbeing at this stage in my life.
I come to a stop at a crosswalk, just like everybody else. I sigh. Traffic is slow, but it’s still there. Any other day, I would just go for it and run across, whatever cars are coming be damned, forget the safety of my groceries. Today, I just can’t manage it—the energy, the desire.
I’m not quite domestic yet, but I sure as hell feel like it.
“And it’s a big day coming up for IGPX tomorrow. Last year’s champions, Team Satomi, race against their predecessors, Team Velshtein. We’re not even halfway through this year’s IG-1 season, but let me tell you, the excitement and tension is just about as high as it would be for the finals! Who’s going to win is anyone’s guess, but I can tell you for sure—neither of these teams will be backing down in the slightest. I can hardly wait!”
The announcer on the TV is as loud as ever, but I’ve gotten used to it. I first came to IGPX City thinking that maybe I could become a pilot. But I ended up realizing how much training it would take to even get a license, plus I would have to work with a team to get anywhere near real competitive racing. I knew I would get bored before then. So I gave up.
Not that being in a cockpit and going over four-hundred miles per hour didn’t sound amazing…
When it came to the pilots, I kind of envy them. But at the same time, it isn’t a realistic move for me. I couldn’t really do anything, though. That was the conclusion I came to, and I haven’t found anything to change my mind ever since.
But what if this is my last chance?
There’s no way I could live an honest lifestyle. I don’t need to, either. I had gotten lucky, taken some big risks, and come out with plenty of money. No need to work. The funding to do almost anything I want. Enough common sense to not risk that. But if I just went and bought groceries every day, nothing else, hoping that maybe I could make something to pick me up—well, I need to take a risk then.
The crosswalk signal changes. People walk forward. I don’t. On the TV, the announcer’s still discussing the upcoming race and the possible outcomes. Footage from what I assume is last year’s season plays with his commentary. I block him out, imagining what it would be like to be the pilot, to be control of something that powerful and dangerous.
At this point, I need to make up my mind of what to do next in my life, and I do.
I’ve got to get myself into one of those mechs. And it doesn’t matter how.
The crosswalk signal switches to red, and I run for it, nearly knocking over other pedestrians all the way home.