Work Text:
Astronomical.
Phenomenal.
A supernova. That’s what you’ve always been to me. The stars above us are reflected within our eyes. Those stars are dreams, for they are only a false representation of what’s out there. Beyond our reach. Most importantly beyond your reach. The stars above us… While they may be false… Would you allow me to gaze upon them alongside you? The world of caffeine is where I dwell, but please allow me to enter the world beyond.
In this world of caffeine... While it may be homey, it has never been for me. The numerous faces that come and go are a blur. At least, once and awhile. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. I can’t help it. It’s not my fault. No matter how much I try. It just happens. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. It’s too much pressure. The faces. The responsibilities. The new special blends I am to sample each and every day. It’s all too much. They send me to a room of darkness. A room filled with the scent of coffee. Hidden away from all. It suits me just fine. There’s little to feel pressured by.
Pressure has always been present. It’s never been something I could handle. Not on my own. You’ve always been there. Even if it was all an illusion in the beginning. You’ve stayed with me. Even as I twitch. Even as I tear these blonde locks. Even as I bang my head. Even as I scream. Even if I am too troublesome. You’ve stood by me.
Hey, Craig...
Do you remember?
Do you remember us fighting?
Do you remember us in the hospital?
Do you remember the stupid art of us together?
Do you remember us pretending?
Do you remember us becoming real?
All these memories I keep near and dear. I’m not sure what you think. I don’t think I ever will. It… It terrifies me. Thinking of what you actually think about me. It’s too much pressure. To try and understand. Everything between. Whether it be spoken or trapped in our thoughts. Sometimes I wonder:
Is it okay?
Then, when I find myself on this bed with you by my side… Gazing at these false representations above us… I still want to believe. That we are astronomical. That we are phenomenal. That these stars are not false. Eventually false becomes truth. When certain conditions are met. I’m not sure if we’ve met them, but it’s not too much pressure to think it’s real? Right? As long as they’re real to us… That’s all that matters. In other words…
I love you.