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It was just a song. A stupid song that was okay, at best. Just a song. But Sam still froze when it played on the bunkers radio. Mid walk, he froze in the middle of the library. He listened to the guitar and shut his eyes. His breath became heavy as he fought his mind just to ignore it. To ignore the memory of Dean, dying again and again, and he was powerless to do anything. He just had to watch a his only family, died awfully. He didn't hear Gabriel walk into the room.
"You alright kiddo?" Gabriel slows his walking.
Sam doesn't respond.
Gabriel walked up to Sam and put a hand on his back.
"Sam, are you okay." Gabriel asks firmly.
"It's that song." Sam whines.
"Asia?" Gabriel questions.
"yeah, I-uh I can't. I reminds me of the mystery spot" Sam sighs.
Gabriel realizes and snapped the radio off. Sam physically relaxes, then starts weeping.
"I'm sorry, that song just. It makes me think Dean's going to die and I'm going to be alone and useless and I can't, can't hear that song." Sam cries softly.
"No no no, don't apologize. It's not your fault. I'm sorry Sam. I'm so sorry." Gabriel holds Sam's shoulders.
"I, need to sit down or something." Sam breaths.
"Of course," Gabriel snaps in a luxury couch and sits Sam down on it.
Sam cries for a while, as Gabriel sat next to him and stroked his back. Sam apologizes too much, considering how guilty Gabriel feels, Sam apologizing makes it worse. But Gabriel deserves the guilt and he knows it.
"Sam, it's okay. You don't have to apologize." Gabriel stated once again.
"No I do, this is an overreaction. I don't get to talk about it with Dean, so I just keep it in. And it would be hard to explain why I freak out whenever I hear, that song, to someone else." Sam wipes his face.
Gabriel sighs and starts to stroke Sam's hair.
"You can talk about it with me, but I can understand if you want me to leave considering I did this." Gabriel looks down at his feet.
Sam cry laughs. Gabriel shoots up a confused eyebrow.
"That's why this sucks so much." Sam whimpers.
"What sucks Sam?" Gabriel voiced concerned.
"I-uh. I think I, I like you. More then just, just this. But I feel to stupid that I have a crush on you. I don't want to be another stockholm syndrome victim. I just want, want to never hear, that, that Fucking Song." Sam cries out, on the brink of sobs.
Gabriel looks down and nods, processing.
"I just feel so stupid, I just can't listen to that song. I hate it. I hate that fucking song." Sam whispers while gesturing towards the radio.
"I want to get help, I do. But what am I supposed to say? A trickster who's actually the archangel Gabriel, put me into a time loop where I saw my brother die again and again and I woke up to everyday for hundreds of days to Asia, and I freeze every time I hear it. How are they not going to think I'm crazy. " Sam huffs out and leans back on the couch.
"Well, kiddo. I'm always here. I may seem like an asshole, but I have feelings too. And Sam," Gabriel paused and Sam turned his head to look at him.
"I am so sorry for doing that to you. It was unfair of me to do. I- I thought I was preparing you for what would come, but I just made things worse. I know how hard it is to lose a brother, I mean, most of the ones that tolerated me were killed. So that, that makes my actions even worse. I knew how awful it is to go through that, and I made you go through it over a hundred times. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Sam. I can't-. I wish-. I would just erase the memory, but I think that would be worse. I-," Gabriel rambled on.
He was stopped by Sam's lips pressing against his. It wasn't new information, that Sam had a thing for him and Gabriel had a thing in return. But neither of them, thought their first kiss would be, well, right now. Sam pulled away when Gabriel didn't move.
"I'm sor-"
Sam didn't even get to finish his thought before Gabriel pulled him back in for a gentle kiss. A kiss that was filled with apologies. It was anything but rough or fast. Slow, tender kisses were exchanged between them. The two sat side by side, hands entangled. Gabriel used his free hand to wipe the remains of tears on Sam face.
"You don't have to apologize." Gabriel stated firmly. "You never have to apologize."
Gabriel held Sam's face in his hands and looked directly into his eyes, searching for Sam's understanding. Sam nodded shyly, and Gabriel softly smiled. Sam moves in for another kiss, but swiftly back pedals. Gabriel chuckled and pulled him in. The kisses where more about healing and acceptance.
When the two separated, Sam pulled Gabriel into a tight hug. Gabriel snaked his arms around Sam's shoulders. Sam sighed and gripped on tighter.
"Thanks, Gabe." Sam whispered.
"for what?" Gabriel asked, relatively confused.
"for saying sorry and actually being there for me, I can't say that for a lot of people." Sam muttered.
"Oh, you really don't have to thank me for that, but you're welcome." Gabriel whispered.
The two of them ended up cuddling and watching the new Netflix original series on a flat screen tv that Gabriel snapped up. Gabriel ran his fingers through Sam's hair, as Sam's head laid on Gabriel's chest. Sam leaned into Gabriel's touch and hummed. Gabriel smirked after he finished the multiple braids in Sam's hair. At some point, some warm blankets get snapped into Sam's lap. It was sweet and warm and inviting and nice. Everything was. Sam felt like he healed, even just a little, from what happened. He snuggled closer to his, friend? Lover? Something in between? And inhaled his scent. Gabriel smelled like warm ambers and the woods and honey.
Gabriel turned the tv off when he noticed Sam was drifting off. He smiled and stroked Sam's hair once more. Sam relaxed into Gabriel's touch. He mental thanked Gabriel, but it was more of a prayer. As Sam dozed off, he heard Gabriel's voice, calming and smooth,
"you're welcome,"
Sam let out a breath of relief, and fell asleep with his angel watching over him.