Chapter Text
un·rav·el
verb
1. undo (twisted, knitted, or woven threads).
2. investigate and solve or explain (something complicated or puzzling).
She doesn’t remember much of her past life.
She remembers, however, that she had been strangely serene when she thought she was going to die. She had been sad because she failed, but at least she (who is she? ) had survived. She had urged her to leave her behind since she was a dead woman anyway. She also remembers when the little blood she had left ran cold when she woke up and saw him smiling at her.
There had been compliments, he called her beautiful and pretty — yet she knew better than believe his amicable voice. That under that there was a darkness that no one could imagine, that this man’s eyes were like looking at the void and the void looks back at you.
“You know?” He said with a neutral tone “We never attempted to turn a Pillar into a Demon!”
She cannot do anything as the blonde man — Douma, she remembers that much — forces her to drink the blood and laughs about it, laughs at her and her misfortune and the blood feels like poison going through her veins, her brain feels like she’s about to explode and she wants someone to be here this bad.
Ah, but she hates demons, doesn’t she?
She screams, screams even after the man leaves her in the dark, saying something that if she survives this he will maybe make her his wife one day. She thinks about tearing his insides and feeding herself with it, every bone of her body wants demands it, blood, blood, you’ll go die if you don’t eat blood (despite you were supposed to die, that you know well enough).
Before she loses consciousness, she thinks about butterflies.
It must have meant something once.
She tries the best to not eat humans, and it lasts for a couple of years.
She eats any demon that comes her way, she discovers quickly that it is not good for her mind and has little protein, but it is better than the alternative. She doesn’t know why she’s so against it, but every time she feels tempted to it, the butterflies come up on her mind again. ‘I need to eat’ She wants to tell them, but they aren’t there. And butterflies cannot speak, let alone talk to demons. The screams of the demons and the victims mix, and she isn’t sure which is which, or if it’s all in her head.
That’s where she eats her first human.
She had not intended to eat that night, she had already eaten all the demons from the mountain and she supposed she would be okay. The town that existed below the mountain was a half-abandoned place either by the demons or the hunger that surrounded less privileged areas. It was very similar to her, she supposed, living as a folkloric being with sparks of sanity and memories that vanished when she attempted to grab them.
Her only companion had been the moonlight that shone in her face, she had learned to appreciate it better than the sun. At least the moonlight does not judge, unlike the sun who burns and hates her entire existence as much as she hates herself. Still, sometimes she wishes she could walk on it again, laughing like when she was a child as she chased after…
After who ?
The first human she eats it’s a little girl and God, she did not intend to.
She was a small little girl with dirty blonde hair who was walking aimlessly in the darkness of the night. She had dirty blonde hair and empty green eyes that looked so much like someone she had known before, maybe when she was a human. She kneels in front of the child and she had intended to hug her like maybe she would have done before.
She doesn’t realize she’s biting her until it’s too late and her fangs are deeply on the child’s throat, the blood tastes so good, like her favorite food or some fancy foreign plate. It is addicting and she feels her grip on the child tighten. In a moment of weird lucidity, she pulls away from the child and she is alive still, but she isn’t even screaming or anything like she knows humans do, not even attempting to run away. She’s just staring at her with those big empty eyes.
‘Why won’t you scream...why won’t you…’
(“Are you teaching her to write?” She hears herself saying, it must be a memory.
“Well, she needs to communicate, doesn’t she?” The person responds, a female voice, she’s trying to be tough but it fails flat “She doesn’t talk, so writing is the best thing for now.”
“Someone’s attached! How adorable!”
“I am not attached!” The girl answers as she ruffles the hair of the little girl next to her “Okay, show her how you write your name.” The little girl does and she hears herself squealing and the other person loosely puts her arm around the child who has a little smile on her face, it’s barely visible but it is an improvement “She’s a quick learner.”)
There are tears in her eyes as she finishes eating.
There are no butterflies in her dreams for a while.
She laughs as she cries.
She has forgotten everything around her humanity by this point, she eats when she pleases and no matter what her conscience tells her — the butterflies appear on her dreams and she ignores them every time just for them to come back next time she sleeps. Her memories are mostly vague feelings now, so she doesn’t bother too much for it, her heart does feel something that is not hunger when there she sees large groups of girls, but thinking about it it’s too dangerous.
She develops her demon blood art, it is perhaps the only way that she might allow her memories to live, she has no name and no identity outside perhaps the other way demons talk about her, but her demon blood art is who she is, after all.
Demon Blood Art: Garden of Doom.
The boy with the uniform did not even see her coming, she was just laying atop of a tree as a flower of thorny roses that are sharp as knives drop from the skies in front like teardrops towards the boy who cannot even scream by the time he realizes he’s dead. It was painful, but it’s quiet, it’s what it has allowed her to be living unbothered (except for the uninvited guests) after all.
She still has a goal — to destroy the man that made her this way, she hasn’t forgotten his laugh and his promise of coming back if she’s strong. But strong she will be, and then she will kill him and rebirth him and then kill him again. Then she can maybe walk into the sun for all she cares. That’s her goal.
It’s the demons below her who have sworn loyalty to her (little more than pawns, unlike …) who tell her about the demon slayers. An annoying organization who dedicates to destroy demons to keep the peace, but the ones that she has met aren’t very skillful, like that boy in uniform. So, she supposes, they aren’t a big deal. But they are insistent about it, that there is some sort of elite among them (‘They’re pillars, my lady’ they’ll say, and the name rings a bell ‘and they’re incredibly powerful’ ).
“That’s an impressive technique you got there.” The voice is familiar, sweet and playful — yet full of hatred that it was hard to convey “Very interesting, indeed.”
Her very first thought when she saw the purple-haired woman is that she was like a butterfly.
She’s like a Monarch butterfly, she thinks, not just for the hairpin she wears but also by the haori. It makes her look colorful and her small body would make her look harmless at first sight. Even more harmless than the uniform boy. But as most predators, her colorful appearance makes her more dangerous. She knew that.
But there is something about her — perhaps recognition? Why would she have known a Pillar in her past life? It makes no sense. Once the woman takes a look at her face, her fake smile disappears and it shows surprise and then anger.
“You are truly a sick individual, wearing that face.”
The first Pillar she meets, it’s the Insect one.
She truly is like no other demon slayer she has faced before, maybe those demons are right about the Pillars being the best of the best, part of her feels pride for some reason. The other part that is more dedicated to the current events is looking for a way to kill her, the feeling is mutual by the way the woman looks so furious and indignant about her existence, she said something about her face, she doesn’t get it.
Demon Blood Art: Sakuraso.
Primroses appear from below the ground where the Insect Pillar is standing on and she smirks, the demonic flowers create an illusion where there are multiple of her where the person cannot get what is real and what is not, causing the enemy to despair and she would use that moment to attack her directly. The woman protects herself with her blade and runs towards her. Effortlessly dodging the illusions and heading for the real one.
How did she know which one of her illusions was the real one?
Dance of the Butterflies: Frolic
Her first thought it’s of respect and pride again, even if she is weaker than her. She’s fast and skillful despite she is not strong physically. Her attack doesn’t do much but…
Does it?
Why can’t she feel her arms or legs?
‘Is this poison?’
The other woman smirks.
“It’s a paralyzer.” She explains “Your attack is remarkable, but I made a little cut on your arm first time we clashed, the rest didn’t have it, so you had to be the real one. Now…” Her voice it’s still cheerful, but she notices it goes a darker tone “Before you die, why do wear that face?”
“What...what do you mean? This has always been my face.”
“Do you have a name?”
“No. Perhaps I did, once, but I have no name.”
“How unfortunate.” There is no mercy in her cheerful voice “How many people have you killed?”
“I need to live.”
“No. You do not~” There is no trace of her fake cheerful voice as she asks her last question “Do you work for one of Muzan Kibutsuji’s upper moons? His name is Douma.”
The question — or rather, the accusation — makes her blood boil. What does this woman know about Douma? Why would she imply they are working together? She thinks of ripping her face off and eating it, but she’s paralyzed and cannot move. And every time she exchanges looks with the Demon Slayer, she wants to ask…
“Have we met before?”
The question makes the woman take a step back as if she had been slapped. So that confirms it then.
“My. Don’t answer a question with another question.”
“I would never work for Douma” She snarls and bares her fangs at the Pillar “He...he..he took everything from me” And it is true, he took her name, her memories, whatever the meaning of butterfly has that plagues her dreams. Maybe she should let this slayer kill her, it would be a worthy death “I...” She doesn't know why she is so torn between wanting to kill this woman and beg for help “You are an admirable opponent…”
She says a name and she doesn’t hear herself saying it — but the woman definitely did and takes another step back as if it had been another punch. There is no longer hatred on her eyes, but rather horror and a realization that perhaps both of them had known since they started fighting, but none of them wanted to come to terms with.
She knows this woman’s name and doesn’t at the same time.
This woman knows who she is.
“ The poison will wear off little before dawn.” The Pillar says as she walks away “Find refugee. Other hunters will not be as merciful as I am.”
“...Why?”
“I’m sentimental. I guess I have things to do. Farewell K—no...farewell.”
No. No. No. No.
She was going to say something else, something that would perhaps unlock the mystery of who she is, but she chose otherwise. She went there wanting to kill her and is leaving without doing it. It makes her furious.
“Once you decide to kill a demon, you kill it!” The words almost made the other woman stop, but continued her way instead “What kind of Pillar are you!” The woman speeds up her pace to the point she’s almost running and she feels the tears coming off her face and her shrieks resound through the forest, none of the lower demons come to her aid, they abandoned her. ‘Just like you did’ . She thinks and the shrieks grow sadder, she wonders if the woman can hear it from wherever she is.
She decides she hates butterflies from now on, every time she sees one, she tears its wings apart.
She does it in her dreams, too.
She usually doesn’t hurt little girls, other than the first human she ate. They don’t taste well enough, or that’s what she tells to herself. The truth is that it considers it beyond abomination and as much as she is an abomination, there must have been some standards. She thinks about the Insect Pillar and the little girls from her dreams when she considers it on her moments of hunger, and she’d rather not.
She’s used to traveling between places at night and finding comfort in the forest, the fewer demons that exist on it the better, and the longer she will stay. Humans rarely come to the forest without a reason to, even if it reeks slightly of wisteria, it will do for tonight and the morning. She’ll continue her search for Douma and perhaps teaching the Insect Pillar a lesson if she even encountered her again.
“ — I can’t believe Naho forgot how to bring herbs and I have to get them this late at night!” The voice of an older girl resounded through the forest “You could’ve stayed home, Kiyo.”
“It’s okay, it feels a bit big when...and...aren’t around” She couldn’t hear the names the little girl just mentioned, so she decided to take a look and who was reckless enough to walk at a forest without supervision.
The little girl wears a white dress with pink hairpins on her hair, listening to the older girl’s instructions as she grabs some herbs. The oldest one has a serious-looking face and is wearing pigtails, but whatever their conversation is about is irrelevant when she realizes that their hairpins are butterflies.
Like that Insect Pillar.
There is something on her that just explodes.
She doesn’t kill little girls, but these are butterflies, and she hates butterflies.
The little one screams when she sees her.
They are fast, but she is faster.
The little one falls as she is running and the oldest one even in clear panic turns around to pick her up “Kiyo!” She yells as she grabs a weeping child in her arms, this girl seemed to be on the verge of crying too. It is clear they know this forest better than she does, but that matters little when you have extra weight with you when you have someone to care for, then that’s a wonderful yet terrible thing.
She comes down to witness her prey — and sees how the older girl hugs the small one tightly as she attempts to cover her. It reminded her of her past, she did that once, she knows. There’s a look of shock on the little girl as they stared at each other, she held onto the older one even tighter.
Kill them. A voice says, not sure if it’s herself or one of the demons she has eaten. If you kill them, the butterflies will stop, is it not what you want?
‘Yes.’ She decides, even when she is not completely sure ‘Do not worry child, I will make it as quick as possible’
She’s about to pierce through the girl's chest with her hand when she notices, almost in slow motion, that her arm has been amputated and it has been sent flying. She doesn’t even get to double-check what is happening until she quickly dodges the second attack to make sure she doesn’t lose the other one. Is it the Insect Pillar again? No, she would’ve made a quirky comment or something, this one is quiet and gets the job done, and has a physical strength the Pillar lacked.
Another hit, but this time she saw it coming, so she grabs the enemy with her remaining arm — her other one should regenerate in a matter of time and she’ll end the job then, but first, she wants to take a look of who did such an excellent job.
The girl is taller than the Insect Pillar by a couple of inches, she has her hair tied in a ponytail with a butterfly hairpin and her mouth is closed in a thin straight line. She heard that sometimes those Pillars get students who are their heirs and are as lethal, she must be one of those. But it’s her eyes that catch her attention, there’s silent fury on them as if she is furious that her friends were in danger.
Is this…
(“You know?” She smiles at the small child, who looks at her with lost eyes and a certain curiosity “Life changes once you find people you care about. One day, you’ll find someone whose soul you’ll open up, but in the meantime…” She puts a coin on the child’s hand “If you struggle to make a decision, just flip the coin and see if it helps you?”)
Does she know this girl?
‘Kill her, kill her, kill her.’ Part of her says ‘Kill her and give up your humanity’
(‘Don’t kill her. She’s precious to you’ The other part says ‘ She’s grown, aren’t you proud?’ )
The girl gets rid of her grip the moment she gets too distracted by looking at her face and takes a defensive position. The other girls crying as they stand behind her, similarly to the Insect Pillar, the girl looks surprised by her existence, but this one doesn’t think it is a game but rather looks...confused, but it is the pigtails girl who says a name.
But she cannot hear it.
Perhaps if they had found her earlier, that name would have meant something, an opportunity to not give up to her worst instincts, an opportunity to go back home. But it is too late, it had been too late by the time that Pillar woman found her, maybe it had been too late when that man turned her into a demon instead of letting her die peacefully.
She attacks again.