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Richie awoke abruptly, looking around the room. It was white, too white, really fucking WHITE. Was he in prison? Maybe he was dead. He didn’t know, everything was so fucking blurry. He attempted to push himself up, intending to stand up. His legs felt like jelly, his arms limp noodles by his side refusing to co-operate. Someone was pushing him back onto the bed. He giggled for no reason.
“Rich, for fuck’s sake, stay still. You’ve just had fucking surgery.”
A stern face came into view and Richie squinted, clumsily gripping the stranger’s shirt to pull him closer until their foreheads were more or less touching. He was quite handsome but Richie didn’t have a fucking clue who he was. He attempted to ask him but when he opened his mouth, only drool came out.
“Rich, Jesus…” the man wiped his mouth, and rolled his eyes, “you had minor dental surgery, Richie. I’m Stanley Uris. You remember?”
Oh, of course! Stan the man! Stan…Staniel Something. His best friend, his brother…lover? Whatever the fuck he was, Richie loved him.
“Love you, man…” he slurred, a lazy grin on his face. Stan rolled his eyes, wiping his chin again.
“Beep beep, Richie. Save it for Eddie, yeah? He’s just picking April up from school and he’ll be here.”
Richie had no idea who these people were right now but he nodded, and nodded…and nodded. Oh, that was fun. He closed his heavy eyes again, mumbling something incoherent before falling asleep.
Almost half an hour later, two other people entered the room but Richie barely noticed. He was wearing his glasses now but he was too busy crying his eyes out. He was sobbing, shaking his head as he babbled on and on.
“It’s fucking tragic. fuc-king TRAgic.”
“What is he talking about?” A new voice whispered. An angel’s voice. A sweet call from the sirens. Stan, who was very clearly a man in the edge, looked up from where his face had been buried in his hands.
“I made the mistake of talking about bird watching. Now he’s upset that birds can’t talk,” Stan sipped on his third cup of coffee, shaking his head dramatically, “he’s doing my fucking head in, man.”
The angel voice giggled, a heavenly sound the caught Richie’s attention immediately. He stopped crying like a little bitch and looked towards the noise. The sight was just as beautiful as the sound. Richie tried to stand, to sweep the delightful man off of his feet, buy him flowers and ride away into the sunset on a unicorn. But no. He just flopped back into the pillows pathetically, still too weak to support himself. The lovely stranger was smiling at him softly and Richie nearly died. For real, this time.
“Stanno! StanIEL, c’mere,” he flapped his arm in a beckon wildly. Stan complied reluctantly, crouching down so Richie could whisper into his ear, “who’zat?”
Stan sighed, “Eddie-“
“Ed-die,” Richie said dreamily, clutching at his heart as if he was some sort of romance novel hero, “I was born to say that name.”
“Oh my God,” Stan said, once again covering his face in embarrassment. Barely a moment later, Richie was shoving him aside, still gazing adoringly at Eddie.
“Fuckoff Stanman, wanna flirt…”
“You don’t need to do that, dumbass,” Eddie was saying, smoothing Richie’s hair from his eyes. Richie was in love. Completely one hundred percent, head over heels, devotedly in love with Eddie. He was going to leave Stan for him. No question. Eddie held his hand, showing off their matching wedding bands, “we’re married.”
Richie was delighted. Seriously, he could fucking sing. Tears filled his eyes again and he whispered, “I’m gAY?”
Eddie - his husband! - furrowed his cute little brow, “well, not exact-“
“We’ve had SEX.”
His delighted screech had woken the fourth person in the room. The tiny child hopped from the Hospital seat and hurried to Eddie who belatedly covered the tiny person’s ears, a rather becoming blush spreading across his face.
“Richie…shut up!”
“Daddy?” Daddy? Had he said that? Fuck, how embarrassing! “Is papa okay?”
Eddie lifted the little child into his arms, squeezing her nose playfully, “he’s just fine, sweetheart. He’ll be a bit dopey for little while but what’s new?”
The little girl giggled sweetly and Richie noticed she was cute. Really fucking sweet. She was no more than five years old. She waved at him from her perch in her Daddy’s strong arms. Richie liked his husband’s arms a lot. He had a husband! Wait, that must mean…
“I’m Papa?” He questioned, looking around the room as if waiting for someone to wake him violently from what was clearly a dream. When no one did, he looked at the little girl in awe, “you’re MY little girl?”
“Papa’s being silly,” the little girl giggled again, clutching her Daddy’s coat. Eddie kisses her curls, stepping closer.
“Why don’t you give him a big cuddle, April?” Eddie gently placed April on the bed with Richie and she wrapped her arms around him. Richie once again started crying.
“Tha’s my favourite month.”
Stan soon said his goodbyes, giving the family their privacy. It didn’t take much longer for Richie to regain his mental faculties and he was discharged. They walked home, Richie and Eddie hand in hand, April balancing on Richie’s shoulders.
“I wasn’t that bad,” the comedian insisted, to which Eddie and April laughed at hysterically.
“You were crying, Papa!”
“Like a baby,” Eddie added, grinning far to smugly for Richie’s liking. Oh, what did he care, he’d won the fucking jackpot with the two of them. His family.
“And you were looking at Daddy like this,” April demonstrated a look of doe-eyed adoration, a spot-on impersonation of her father, “all lovey-dovey icky stuff. You thought Daddy was cuuuuuute.”
“Daddy is cute,” Richie shrugged, squeezing Eddie’s hand. He leaned and muttered, “I think I should remind you just how cute you are tonight.”
Eddie glared at him, somewhat fondly, but before he could say anything April excitedly said, “are you going to give Daddy a hug, Papa?”
“Oh yes, hon,” Richie swept her into his arms, tickling her fiercely. She screamed in delight, licking her legs frantically, “a good long hard hug. That’s just what we need.”
Eddie gave him a look that screamed ‘why are you like this?’ but still reciprocated the loving kiss Richie planted on him, much to April’s disgust.
“Ewwww!”
Eddie glanced at her, raising his eyebrows and putting on a mock stern voice, “well, well...that sounds like a young lady who doesn’t want a McDonald’s.”
“MCDONALD’S,” April bounced happily between her parents, pulling their jackets desperately, “please, please!”
“You’ll have to ask your Dad.”
April smiled, knowing instantly she’d won. She had wrapped Richie wrapped around every one of her fingers. She flashed him the puppy eyes for good measure and, sure enough, he melted, whisking her into his arms.
“Can’t hurt, Eds. Can you say ‘no’ to this face?” He held April at arm’s length, the two of them pouting effectively. Eddie rolled his eyes.
“You’re luck I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
April sighed, waiting impatiently for another icky smoochfest to be over before tugging her parents in the direction of the fast food place she loved. Richie couldn’t believe his luck. He was happy, he had a gorgeous family and he wouldn’t change that for the world.