Chapter Text
‘’So, still no word from Cas?’’ Dean asked for the fourth time that day as he walked down the stairs.
He went to get some gas for the impala and had picked up burgers on his way back.
He didn’t know if he could stomach them now though.
‘’Still nothing. I’m starting to get worried.’’
‘’Yeah, me too.’’
Dean had been worried.
He was worried that Cas had enough of Dean’s bullshit and would turn his back on him forever.
He’d been way too hard on him and only realised this a few days after.
But he’d been so mad.
Everything always goes to hell at the same time and Dean had blamed it all on Cas.
Which wasn’t fair.
And he should’ve stopped him when he’d walked away.
But now Cas was moving on…
What the hell did that even mean?
That was a red flag for sure.
‘’Still, I can’t blame him.’’
‘’What?’’
‘’You know how he felt about Jack. Imagine how hard it must’ve been to kill Belphegor.’’
Shit, Dean hadn’t even thought about that.
‘’Well, he was a Demon. Not Jack.’’
‘’Yeah, a demon in Jack’s body.’’
‘’But can’t Angels and Demons see each others real forms or some shit?’’
‘’You said Cas mentioned his powers were failing. Besides, he once told me that it’s more of a tune on tune off kinda thing, and he doesn’t like looking at Demons their real form.’’
Dean often wonders what Cas’s real form looks like.
‘’Why does he never tell me things like that?’’
‘’Because you don’t ask.’’
Ouch, that one hurts. But Sam had a point.
‘’I really fucked up with, didn’t I?’’ Dean asks after he took a big gulp from his beer.
‘’Yeah, you did.’’
‘’He’s strong though. He can take it.’’
‘’No Dean. That doesn’t mean that you got to shove all your problems on him like that.
He’s got feelings too, they’re just more difficult for him to understand. And I know it seems like he’s been with us forever now, but we’re just a small part of his long life, and he’s new to this.’’
‘’But mum-.. ‘’
‘’He made a mistake. Jack was his son. I would’ve done the same.’’
‘’It’s mum!’’
‘’And he’s Cas! You remember him? The guy has always been there for us, and she hasn’t. Yes, I loved her too. And yes of course her death hurts. But Cas is family too.’’
‘’Okay. No. You’re right. It’s time for me to make things up to him. I should go talk to him.’’
Sam smiled.
‘’Finally.’’ He muttered under his breath.
‘’What?’’
‘’Nothing.’’
____________
Castiel has been wandering around for a few days.
He wanted to help people, but his powers were low and soon he would be the one needing help.
His feet were aching, and he was tired.
Not only psychically, but also mentally.
He couldn’t believe the things that Dean had said to him.
He knew he’d messed things up with Mary.
And he couldn’t even think about Jack.
But he would’ve never guessed that he would mess things up with Dean too.
It felt good though.
Some of those things he had bottled up for years.
Because this bond wasn’t broken in one night.
He’d felt it coming for a long time.
Maybe he was just too naive to accept it, but it had been there. Lurking in the shadows.
Dean was really good at messing with his feelings.
And although he felt good about the way he handled things because for once in a very long time he’d stood his ground.. he wanted Dean to call him back, to apologise and talk it out over a beer.
He didn’t know what to do.
Normally he would desperately turn to god. He would never voice it but somehow his father would help him get his thoughts straight and make him feel safer. Even though he never replied.
But now even Chuck had let him down.
Castiel stopped to sit on a bench.
He couldn’t keep walking without a direction.
‘’You’re seeking guidance Castiel?’’
Castiel remember that voice.
But it couldn’t be..
No.
He turned his head to look at the figure that was now sitting next to him on the park bench.
‘’Uriel?’’