Work Text:
In the light of the simmering embers was the only time Zenitsu could find his courage to say the words he knew lay treasured in his heart. The planes of her face painted softly with warm light made Zenitsu want to brush his fingers against her cheeks. Would they be as soft as he thought they would be?
With a defeated sigh he leaned back against the fallen log. Why did they even set him up to be first watch? It wasn't like he was any useful defending all of them if he couldn't even defend himself. But Inosuke and Tanjirou insisted that he was just fine, despite how fiercely he rejected it.
Still, looking at her face, Zenitsu found it hard to truly resent his position.
She was beside him, like she always was, with one arm bracing her head around Tanjirou's borrowed haori folded up as her pillow, and her other hand laying prostrate on the forest floor in a position Zenitsu knew couldn't have been too comfortable for her. But he knew that she was reaching out for him. It was always like that when they were kids. He was a coward and she was always the one who fought for the both of them, but at the end of the day she would be afraid that he might leave her.
"Silly, (y/n)," he whispered fondly. Zenitsu reached out until their fingertips were almost touching. "As if I'd ever leave you."
He found it interesting how without fail, she would always find him even in her sleep. 'Ah,' the corners of his mouth quirked up, 'there it is.'
As if detecting his warmth, (y/n) closed the gap, grasping Zenitsu's fingers. He let out a breath of satisfaction and met her halfway by intertwining their fingers. He spotted a blissful smile grow on her face, and heard her sigh too in contentment.
"I wonder what you're dreaming of..."
Zenitsu reached over with his other hand and brushed the hair away from her face.
'Are you dreaming about me?'
That was wishful thinking, he decided. But he still hoped.
He wanted to kiss her. On the cheek, on her head. He wanted to shower her with affection. What a coward he was for hiding behind his desperation and asking other girls for their hands in marriage. If any of them said yes, he would be happy, but he also knew that he would be unfair. Because any other girl that wasn't (y/n) was just a rebound for his feelings for her. Just chasing away skirts to chase away his feelings, he thought dryly.
But maybe he could live like this. If it was like now where she held his hand tightly in her sleep and he could affectionately stroke her face in the ember light, then maybe...maybe he could pretend that they were lovers. Or at least something more than friends.
The longer Zenitsu looked at (y/n), the more he realized he wanted more than just holding her hand. There was a pressure around his chest, like a squeeze. And his gut kept flipping over and churning in circles. He wanted to be there curled up beside her, slinging his arm over her waist to hold her close to his chest while burying his face in her hair. It smelled good. He would know since every now and then she would demand he wash it for her, for the sake of the nostalgia as children taking baths together.
The image of her bare shoulders flashed behind Zenitsu's eyes and he just barely suppressed a groan at the mental image. Reluctantly, he forced himself to lean back against the log again, putting back the distance between them. Their hands were still intertwined, but Zenitsu didn't think he could handle any further thoughts before he would find himself faced with another problem he couldn't be dealing with.
The sound of the forest accompanied him, replacing his thoughts. Crickets sang and the leaves brushed against each other in the night breeze. It did little to soothe the aching in his heart, but it was an expectation he'd grown used to.
When the sound of snoring reached its twenty minute mark, Zenitsu decided that it was safe.
He stroked the back of her hand tenderly with his thumb, wishing that one day he could say these words when she was awake.
"Sweet dreams, (y/n). I love you."