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CALL LOG, 7:14:26 JST, TOKYO, JAPAN
Hey, Kaneki, it’s me. Touka. You said you’d be home by six today and, well, it’s 7:15 now. Where are you? Call me back soon. I’m hungry. Love you. Bye.
CALL LOG, 7:32:57 JST, TOKYO, JAPAN
Kaneki? Ok, now I’m kinda worried. Where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be here. If you don’t call me back by 7:45, I’m calling your office. I’m starving, babe. At least shoot me a text if you’re gonna be home late. Love you. Touka.
CALL LOG, 7:51:23 JST, TOKYO, JAPAN
What the hell, Kaneki-kun? I just called your office and they said you aren’t there. I’m really worried now. Did you go out to drinks with friends? Did your car get a flat tire? At least call me so I can know you’re okay. Love you. Touka.
CALL LOG, 8:03:12 JST, TOKYO, JAPAN
Kaneki? Where are you? I’m super-worried. If you’re not home by ten I’m calling the police. What could you possibly be up to? I love you. Call me the hell back. Touka.
CALL LOG, 8:07:34 JST, TOKYO, JAPAN
Kaneki?!?
Touka Kirishima is pacing back and forth in the living room of her small studio apartment. It’s only been two weeks since she and Kaneki finished putting it together. Nervously, she chews on her thumb. She isn’t usually a worrier, but this is weird. Kaneki always calls. Even when he’s only five minutes late, he calls. Has he been abducted? Killed? Did CCG revoke their pardon and arrest him after all? Has he been mugged? Beaten up and left for dead? Poisoned?!
Deep breaths, deep breaths. She has to relax. Having a panic attack won’t do her any good. Call Nishiki, that’s what she should do. Nishiki works with him. He’ll know if something up with her Kaneki. Quickly she dials his number and puts the phone to her ear.
It rings for what seems like forever before picking up. “Hello?” Oh thank god, it’s Nishiki.
“Hi. Do you know where Kaneki is?”
“What?”
“Kaneki. Do you know where he is?”
“Um, no. Why would I?”
“Because you work with him, you damn—!” She takes another deep breath. Getting worked up won’t help. “Was he still there when you left?”
“Yeah. Why, is he missing?”
“Sort of.” She chews on her bottom lip. Since when does she have all these nervous habits? Kaneki’s probably just out for drinks or something. She shouldn’t worry. She shouldn’t . . .
“Have you called Ayato?”
“No, why the hell would I do that?”
“I don’t know. I heard Kaneki talking about receiving a call from him at lunch. Maybe he went to pay him a visit.”
“Ayato lives on the other side of the city with Hinami-chan. He wouldn’t go so far without telling me.”
“Look, I don’t know where he is. Why don’t you call someone else and ask. I’m going to bed.”
“Wait—!” The line goes dead. She growls and hangs up. “Damn Nishiki.” Then she dials the number for Ayato.
This time, she has no luck. It goes straight to voicemail, which she doesn’t bother with. She tries Hinami. Luckily, she picks up on the second ring.
“Onei-chan! What’s up?”
“Is Kaneki with you?”
“Uh, no. Sorry. Is he missing?”
“Yeah.”
“Tell you what, I’ll give his friends at work a call. Maybe he went out with them for drinks or something.”
“He always calls if he’s going to do something like that, Hinami. What if something’s wrong? What if he’s lying bleeding in a gutter somewhere?”
“Touka, relax. We’re not outlaws anymore. I’m sure Onii-chan is just fine. I’ll call you back once I know more.”
“No, wait—!” Hinami hangs up on her. Touka growls for the second time and stomps her foot. She is going to give Kaneki one hell of a tongue-lashing when he gets home. Even if he apologizes. He’s too nice to be out alone. She has to remind him that not everyone has as good intentions as he does. Some people are crooks. Some are even killers.
Thinking about their past makes her sad. She goes and sits on the couch, burying her face in her hands. Images flash through her mind: Kaneki soaring through the air, laughing as he serves coffee, crying after the big battle in Tokyo, walking away through the snow, glancing up at her through his hair, staring at her at their wedding with love in his eyes and paint on his face. A small tear trickles down her cheek. She swipes it away angrily. Damn Kaneki. Why does he have to make her worry so much?
Her phone rings. It’s Hinami. “Okay, so I’ve called around, and it turns out Tsukiyama has Kaneki at his place. His phone is dead, which is why he didn't call you. Tsukiyama’s going through a bit of a rough time, and Kaneki didn't think it was safe to leave him, or he would have called you ages ago. He feels terrible, Touka.”
Anger sears through Touka, leaving a taste like ash in her mouth. Of course it’s Tsukiyama that’s keeping Kaneki from her. “Bastard,” she snarls. “Tell Kaneki to get home now.”
“Look, I don’t wanna get involved in this—”
“Fine, give me Tsukiyama’s number. I’ll call the bitch myself.”
“I really don’t think this is a good idea—”
“Are you going to help me or not? I’ll call the directory if I have to.”
Hinami sighs and recites the number through the phone. Touka hangs up and dials it, seething. She’ll get that damn prick for keeping her husband prisoner.
He picks up on the third ring. Touka immediately starts talking, letting her emotions run free. “Listen, you son of a bitch, you better bring my husband home right now or I will murder you in your bed. Do you hear me? I don’t care what you’re going through. I need my Kaneki.”
“Touka, it’s me.”
Kaneki’s voice. She sags just hearing it, relief coursing through her. “Kaneki.”
“Honey, I’m so sorry. I meant to be home earlier, I swear I did. I tried to call you a million times, but my phone was dead and Tsukiyama’s is broken. I would have taken a bus home, but . . . well . . . I don’t think Tsukiyama should be alone right now.”
“What do you mean? You promised to be home by six. I’m your wife.”
“I know, and you are more important than anything to me. Tsukiyama just got rejected for a very important position and he’s more than a little distraught right now, I don’t really think it’s safe—”
“What, worried he might off himself?”
There’s a brief silence. Touka covers her mouth. “I don’t think I should leave him. Ayato’s coming over now to stay with him. I’ll catch a taxi and be home within the hour. I promise, baby. I’m so sorry.”
“Is he really . . . that bad?”
A deep sigh. “Yes.”
“Alright, well . . . he’s still a bastard, but tell him I said I’m sorry. And you can stay longer if you want.”
“It’s okay, I’m tired anyway. See you soon. Bye.”
“Bye.” She hangs up, more than a little shaken. She’s gotten her Kaneki back, but at what price?
He’s home half an hour later, just as he promised. She’s ordered pizza, and it arrives as they sit in the living room talking. Kaneki tells her everything: how Tsukiyama called him in tears just as he was leaving work, how he rushed over there, his phone died, how he had to stay with him and make sure he was okay, you know he would never forgive himself if something happened, but he was so sorry, Touka-chan, he never meant to worry her and he won’t do it again.
“It’s ok.” Touka sniffs. “I just thought . . . I don’t know. CCG . . . and the streets are so dangerous . . . what if you had gotten hurt?”
“I won’t. I’m the One-Eyed King, remember? I’m not defenseless. If something happens, I’ll be able to defend myself. I’ll subdue the attackers and call the police. Then I’ll come straight home.”
“Not everyone is as nice as you, Kaneki-kun. You might not get a chance.”
“I will. I’m a ghoul. Why are we even discussing this? I’m fine. We’re fine. No one was attacked.”
“But what about next time? Will you be fine then?”
“Yes. Can we just . . . forget about it? Please?”
She sighs. “Is Tsukiyama okay?”
“I think so. I’ll go back and check tomorrow. Ayato’s with him now.”
“And you’re not leaving again?”
“No.” He kisses her on the forehead. “Let’s eat, shall we? I’m starving.”
“AAH!”
Touka wakes with a start. She rubs her eyes and rolls over, grasping at . . . empty space? She blinks. Kaneki is gone. So early? What time is it?
The clock says 8:15. Christ. It’s the weekend. Can’t he stay for an hour?
She hauls herself out of bed and stumbles into the bathroom. There’s a note on the mirror from Kaneki: LEFTOVERS ARE IN THE FRIDGE. BACK SOON. LOVE YOU. KANEKI. She flushes it and gets out the eyelash curler.
By ten, he still isn’t back. She contemplates calling, then discards it. She’ll give him until three. By then he had better be home.
The house is oddly quiet without him. She wanders from room to room, hand on her growing belly. The nursery is at the end of the hall, painted rose-pink. Kaneki’s drawn roses on it with his delicate hand, bloodred and curling, twining around the space where the wall meets the ceiling and forming a nest around the space where the baby’s name will go. They still haven’t decided on one. Kaneki wanted Yua, but Touka wanted to name her after her grandmother, Ichika.
There’s nothing to eat in the kitchen. They’re at the end of the week: grocery day is tomorrow. She growls and calls out for pizza again. Her stomach is a raging monster. Kaneki would be able to whip something up for her. But Kaneki isn’t here.
The pizza arrives in good time, and she huddles in a nest of blankets and binge-watches TV. Even that gets boring after a while, and she starts to get restless. It’s almost three. Where the hell is Kaneki, anyway? She walks back and forth, impatient.
At three she calls him. It goes straight to voicemail. She growls and leaves a short but taciturn one. “Hey, where are you? I woke up and you weren’t here. It’s well into the afternoon. Come home. Tsukiyama can get someone else to babysit. Love you. Touka.”
He calls back ten minutes later, much to her relief. “So sorry, I got caught up in myself. Be home within the hour.” She agrees, reluctantly. She doesn’t want Tsukiyama to get hurt.
He sticks to his promise, and she tries not to act too sulky. It’s not like he has any control over it. They go out for dinner and he snuggles up beside her and sighs. She drapes an arm around him and dares to hope that this will all be over by the morning.
But it isn’t. She wakes up alone again, and again the day after that. Tsukiyama’s crisis has got to be over. So why is he leaving so early?
Despite her inclination, at the end of the week she goes to pay Tsukiyama Shu a visit. She got his address from Kaneki, but standing in front of the small if admittedly high-class apartment, she has her doubts. She knows the Shu family lost nearly everything to CCG, but surely they got some of it back. Surely he isn’t poor.
Touka knocks. And again. She’s about to give up and go home when he flings open the door and declares, “Miss Touka!”
“Mister Shu,” she responds, caught off-guard. He doesn’t look anything like the suicidal invalid Kaneki made him out to be. His hair is arranged perfectly, his suit is neat, and his eyes are sparkling with mischief. There are bags under his eyes, but they’re covered up with concealer. He’s holding a cane under his arm.
“What a pleasure to have you here!” He laughs. “Come in, will you? I’ve just seen your husband off.”
“Have you?” She brushes past him and seats herself on the couch. They both know this is not just a social visit. They have not, nor likely ever will be friends. She has a couple questions to ask.
“Yes, he’s been visiting me lately. Such a sweet man.” He nods to her bulging belly. “When is the baby due? There have been no issues with the pregnancy, I trust.”
“None at all. The due date’s in May. If it’s a girl, we’re going to name her Ichika.” She brushes over Kaneki’s suggestion, choosing hers instead. She’s quite confident she’s going to win.
“What a lovely name! It’s your grandmother’s, isn’t it?”
“Ah, yes.” She blinks, surprised; how the hell would he know something personal like that? As if sensing her unease, he explains.
“I took the liberty of researching your ancestry when Kaneki announced you two were getting married. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, not at all.” There are no shadows in her closet. His, on the other hand…
He clears his throat. “So, what would you like to talk about today? You rarely ever visit me on your own, so I assume this is about your husband.”
“It is, yes. He . . . told me about your misfortune. I’m so sorry.”
He waves her concern away with a laugh. “I’m fine, don’t you worry. Just got in a bit of a bad spot that night. I apologize for making you worry; I heard you were quite out of your mind.”
“Yes, well, Kaneki usually calls.” She laughs, awkwardly. God, why did she have to come here? It’s just getting worse. “You say he’s visiting you still?”
“Yes, he really is the sweetest man I’ll ever meet. I’ve told and told him that I’m fine, he doesn’t have to worry about me, but he comes over and cooks my breakfast every morning. He’s such an excellent friend.”
“Hm.” She nods. So that’s why he’s leaving so early. But why? Tsukiyama doesn’t appear to need so much care. “Has anyone else come to see you? Aside from me, that is?”
“Aside from you and Kaneki, no. They check in via text, but that’s all. If you like, I can tell Kaneki to stop coming. I know it must be taking time away from the two of you.”
“Oh, you’re alright. I was just wondering where he was going in the mornings. Now that I know, I’ll be off. Thank you!” She gets up to leave and is stopped by a hand on her sleeve. She turns. Tsukiyama’s eyes have taken on a furtive sheen.
“Before you leave, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but whenever Kaneki arrives in the afternoon, he smells like rose perfume. I don’t think it means anything, but I thought you should know.”
“Thank you.” Touka burns with scalding anger that rushes through her veins, lighting her up like a bonfire. She has the blinding urge to hit, kill, hurt, and nearly loses control of her kagune. With an enormous effort she pushes it back down. “I’ll be going now.”
“Good luck, Touka-chan. I hope you two can work it out.”
She leaves, still seething, knuckles white on the handle of her purse. It isn’t Tsukiyama she’s mad at, not anymore, not even after the familiar way he’d said goodbye. It’s Kaneki. He’s cheating, and she’s going to confront him about it.
He’s late again.
Touka sits in the living room, hands folded, watching TV but not really processing it. She’s still too angry. When she got home, she had run out back and let her kagune run wild, ripping, tearing, impaling all the boxes. She’s screamed and cried and beat the walls till her fists ran red, and she still doesn’t feel any better. She puts a hand on her belly, where their baby slumbers. What will become of it? Will it know a father, or just a mom? Will they have to battle for custody?
He makes a racket as he comes in, keys jingling, calling “I’m ho-ome!” He stops when he sees her sitting on the couch, staring at the TV with a blank face. She sees him put down the grocery bags he was carrying and lay his work bag on the hall table. He approaches like she’s a wild beast and sits not on the couch, but on the armchair beside it.
“What’s up?”
“You tell me.” She keeps staring at the TV. She knows if she moves even a muscle, she’s going to cry. She doesn’t want that -- not yet.
“What do you mean?” He takes the remote and turns off the TV. “Look at me, please.”
“No.” Her jaw is clenched, muscles straining. The weight of unshed tears presses down on her.
“What have I done?”
“Only cheated on me and ruined our entire future.” A single tear trickles down her cheek. Dammit. And she had tried so hard.
“What?” He moves to the couch and grabs her hand. She lets him; it won’t matter, anyway. He peers at her with honest eyes. “What’s happened?”
“I saw Tsukiyama today.”
“Ohh.” He lets go of her hand and sits back. She knew it would happen, but it still hurts, and another tear trickles down her cheek. “He told you about the perfume thing.”
“Yes.”
“It’s not how it seems, I promise.”
“Roses? Really, Kaneki?” She breaks her composure and turns to look at him, eyes brimming with sorrow and anger. “Our special flower?”
“It’s not--”
“The Rose family. Remember? They were the florists for our wedding. Tsukiyama and his whole crew. You wanted to give them something to do. Now that memory is ruined. Did it really mean so little to you?”
“Touka, please.” He’s crying now too, voice all choked up, and it’s making her want to cry even more. She loves him so much, it hurts to bear it. “It’s not what you think.”
“Then what is it? Tell me, before I go all ghoul mode and trash this place.”
“You wouldn’t do that.” The calmness in his voice annoys her.
“Oh yeah? Try me!”
There’s a silence. He says quietly, “I took on another job.”
“A likely story. Try again, cheater.”
He winces. “No, really. At a flower shop -- I know, I know, it sounds corny, but please listen to me. I have my uniform in my bag” -- he goes over and pulls it out, a shirt with ‘Flo’s Flower Emporium’ emblazoned across the front and ‘ KEN KANEKI ’ on the pocket. She has to admit, it does look real -- “I wanted to make some extra money for us. For the baby. I didn’t lie when I said I couldn’t call you that night. They won’t let us use our phones between shifts. But I wasn’t at Tsukiyama’s. He got accepted for that job. I haven’t been cooking breakfast for him, either; I’ve been working a morning shift. I asked him to lie for me. I shouldn’t have. Touka, I’m sorry.”
She doesn’t want to accept it. It’s too convenient, too perfect. Why wouldn’t he have told her? She asks him.
“I thought you would tell me it was ridiculous. That we don’t need the money. And yeah, maybe right now we don’t, but what about when Ichika arrives? What then? We’ll need to pay for childcare, baby clothes, toys . . . what?”
She’s smiling. “You said Ichika.”
“Yeah, I did. What? Oh, wait. Oh for heaven’s sake.”
“I won!” She laughs, startling even herself, and dances around. “I won, I won, I won! Ichika Kaneki it is!”
“You’re ridiculous,” he says, but he’s laughing, too. She holds out her hands to him and they dance, back and forth across the living room floor, feet making a gentle pattering on the hardwood. She throws back her head and laughs, knowing in her heart that it’s going to be ok. Kaneki will be home now. He understands. He’s still her Kaneki. And she loves him more than she can bear.