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“No matter how many times you get reborn, choose me. Always come and find me.”
Everyone talks about past lives, wondering what they were once before. I, however, always think about my present. I always have this urge, to move, towards the dorky, lanky, looking blond-haired-boy. He is cute, a little quiet, and possibly shy. However, I always want to talk to him. There is no explanation, I just do. I just have an automatic feeling to run towards him and hug the living life out of him. On the other hand, maybe I just want to kiss him. Nevertheless, there is no actual explanation for either.
One night, I learn his name is Luke. I heard some idiot, jock-looking person, calling him Luke, and teasing him about his horrible glasses. But hey, the glasses are cute.
“Hey, man,” I said, walking towards the idiot and the poor boy. “Don’t tease him, it’s making him uncomfortable,” I said, “Plus, they’re cute,” I added, smiling kindly at the boy, who smiled hesitantly in return.
“Sure thing curly,” the idiot said, “I’ll stop teasing him when you stop being gay,” the idiot said, almost as if it was the cleverest thing, ever.
“Hey,” I faked hurt, “I can’t stop being what I am, but you can learn how to not be such a douche.” I said, smirking. It sounded clever, right. “Seriously, bugger off, your name’s probably some douche bag name, like Brad, like from those stupid movies.” I giggled, almost accidentally, but when I saw the kid smile, I thought it might have been on purpose.
“It’s Josh,” the idiot – ahem, Josh – said, glaring at me. As if burning my face with nasty looks is mean, gosh.
“Well, Josh,” I said, “Leave him alone, and while you’re at it, learn how to be nicer.” I said, waving a goodbye, but quickly shot him “the finger”, and pulling the kid away from the theatre.
“Those are actually cute,” I said, once we were opening the theater doors, leaving. The kid blushed, shrugging – for god knows why.
“Thanks,” he said, still blushing. “I like your eyes,” he went wide-eyed, covering his mouth. “Oh, uh,” he stammered, “That wasn’t supposed to come out.” He mumbled, blushing more.
“Oh yeah, well then,” I smirked, mischievously, “what was supposed to come out?” I challenged, winking.
“I don’t know,” he said, stammering again, “I just, I wasn’t supposed to say that out loud,” he mumbled, his hands now stuffed even further – than I can imagine – into his skinny jean pockets.
“It’s fine,” I reassured, “I think you have pretty eyes, they’re like the ocean.” I said, noticing that his eyes were even brighter up close.
“My name’s Luke,” he – Luke – said, offering a hand shake, I returned the handshake. I felt my heart beat, hard, as we touched, and my hand felt like it wanted to physically stick to his hand – as if it did not want to leave.
“I’m Ashton,” I replied, smiling. In his glasses, I could see my dimples showing, but even more, I could see his eyes smiling. It made me smile more, because he is smiling, and it is because of me. I made someone smile. It felt like the ultimate goal in life.
“I have to go… My friend said he wanted to meet me,” I nodded. I, almost reluctantly, waved back, a frown on my face now. The smile reappeared when Luke turned around, once, a huge smile, as he waved, before he walked away again.
I felt complete, just then.
The next weekend, Michael – someone I remembered meeting before – messaged me and he asked if I could drum for his band, for a gig. He made it sound cool, so I agreed.
Mainly, I hoped to see the Luke kid again.
I did, but not what I expected. I hoped he would be in the crowd, and I could casually ask him how my drumming was, before getting his number. Knowing me, that is definitely not how it would happen. It totally did not – because I did not Luke would be in the same band as me. He was their lead vocalist, and guitarist.
“Guys, guys, guys, calm down for one minute, I need to introduce you to our new, hopefully permanent, drummer. This is Ashton – uh, Irwin, yeah, that’s your last name.” Michael said, walking me towards his two band mates. Michael sounded happy, I didn’t know why, but it was possibly because of the gig.
“I’m Calum,” a tan kid said. He was skinny, and had these…Asian features. His accent though, made me think he was probably not Asian. “I’m the bassist, well, now I am,” Calum said, “I used to do guitar, but Mikey fought me for guitar.” Calum joked, punching Michael’s arm.
“I’m Luke – oh, oh, oh, oh. Ashton?” Luke mumbled, as he stood up, tripping of his foot, when he noticed it was me. It was him. We’ve met. Why didn’t he tell me he was in a band. Band guys are hot. My thoughts felt jumbled, just from seeing him. This was crazy.
“Whoa, if you couldn’t get any hotter,” I said, almost uncontrollably, “You play in a band, huh. What are you…? The hot lead vocals?” I mumbled, before looking at his, forming, biceps. Definitely one of a guitarist. “Oh, and guitarist, huh…”
“Uh,” Luke stammered, “Yeah, I do both,” Luke mumbled. “So you’re out drummer, uh, wow, you just… You got like a million times hotter too. You probably have like epic biceps,” Luke mumbled, blushing as he spoke more.
“Eh, not yet,” I said, looking at my biceps, which still looked like they were only growing still. “But they’ll get bigger, and you can admire them then.” I teased, when I notice he was staring at my – nearly – non-existent biceps.
“Uh,” Luke paused, his mouth agape, as he, clearly, tried forming a sentence. “I’m sorry, it’s just…” Luke paused again. “You’re like really kind, and pretty, and how are you real…” Luke mumbled, staring at his feet, which were shuffling.
“Aww, thanks,” I giggled, “You’re very awkward and hot.” I replied, winking.
“Hey,” Michael whined, “I thought I was introducing you two, not introducing sexual tension in the band.” Michael let out a frustrated sigh.
“Shut up Michael,” Luke shot-back, “I don’t complain when you and Calum stare at each other for days.” Luke teased, throwing a pillow, which I had not notice he had.
“Oh,” Michael mumbled, a slight glare on Luke now, “Shut up, fucker.” Michael grumbled. I saw Michael have a blush forming though, so it was obviously true.
“Hey, so, are you up for some covers. I really hope Michael sent you the songs we would be doing.” Calum said, ignoring the tension. “If not, I really hope you’ve learned how to play these songs…” Calum trailed off, showing me a list of a few songs.
I only nodded, as he talked, but my focus seemed more on Luke now. I did not understand why, but I just focused on him.
Three years later, I stood in a movie theater. Not the same one we met in, but one, while we were touring. Luke stood at the entrance, waiting for me, a smile on his face. I waved, before walking, quickly, towards him.
“Happy I-joined-your-band-on-this-day-and-asked-you-out Anniversary,” I giggled, as he smiled fondly at me. Fond, that is all I seemed to feel around him. Whether it was me, or if it was him, giving the fondness.
“Happy Anniversary cutie,” Luke said, giggling too. Luke opened his arms, pulling me in, before kissing my nose, cutely. “I can’t believe it’s been this long.” Luke mumbled, nuzzling his head into my shoulder.
“Me either,” I replied, “But it has, and I’m not complaining.” I smiled.
“Me too,” Luke responded.
“Hey, so I have a very important question,” I announced, Luke’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Luke Hemmings, my dearly-loved boyfriend,” I started, “I love you now, forever, and I probably always have, and always will.” I paused, “I want to make a promise, a promise to love you, and for you to love me too, and I want it so we love each other, as whoever we are. If in a hundred years, we’re reborn into two new people, I want to be the one you love then too. So please, promise me you’ll love me until we’re old.” I said, as I kneed down – on one knee – opening a box with a promise ring.
‘Find me’ written on the ring. Luke accepted. And I was okay. Because it felt like I did the right thing. I did, because I found him, like I promised, and I hoped this would happen until the end of time.
Because I’ll always find you.