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Sam watched as Callen walked away from Hetty’s desk, leaving their newly returned supervisor to follow his path with her eyes. There was an odd mixture of relief and worry on her face. And the fact that Sam could read it was perhaps the most unsettling part about that. So Sam turned his attention to his partner, who’d arrived at his desk and…just stood there.
Whatever hope he’d had that the return of Hetty would result in an instant stress-relief for Callen was blown out of the water. Despite physically standing solid, his partner looked… off-kilter. Sam mentally growled. Even Hunter hadn’t managed to cause that; this could only have come from Hetty.
Sam had only ever known Hetty and Callen’s relationship to be strong. Strange, indefinable in a fluid sort of way, but strong. Ever since Romania, that relationship seemed to have taken a hit. He’d seen Callen struggle with the trust he’d had in Hetty, and whether he could afford to trust her again. Had it been anyone else but Hetty, Sam was convinced Callen would have already decided to never trust that person again. There weren’t many people Callen trusted. And once you broke that trust, it was gone forever. It did make Sam curious just how Hetty had gotten Callen to trust her in the first place. Whatever it was, it must have been big. If it wasn’t, Callen would not have been struggling to hold on to it so badly.
It was unfortunate, but Sam knew that, on some level, his partner always expected to be disappointed, to have his trust betrayed. Sam had thought that Hetty was the first one to break that pattern. That she’d been aware of just how precious that trust was that Callen had placed in her. If he was completely honest, if Sam had had to trust anyone else with Callen’s emotional well-being, it would have been Hetty. Now… now Sam had to admit that his own trust in Hetty had also acquired a dent.
The sound of someone clearing his throat came from Sam’s right. Deeks and Kensi were seated at their desks. They could have gone home already, but when they had noticed Hetty back in her office, they had come to a silent, mutual decision to wait for Hetty and Callen to finish their talk. It had, admittedly, taken longer than they had expected. It definitely wasn’t a quick ‘welcome back’ chat. Now that Callen was back at his desk, the junior agents seemed to sense that something big had happened. It left them floundering a little, unsure of what to do next. And of course, whenever Deeks felt uncertain in a serious atmosphere, his mouth took over in an instinctive, almost compulsive way to lighten the mood.
“So, looks like Head Honcho Hetty’s back,” Deeks said, aiming for casual.
Callen tensed. Not good. Sam could sense him withdrawing, even if the man in question still stood exactly where he had been before the question.
“Yeah,” was the only verbal response. Kensi and Deeks exchanged a quick look, which seemed to go unnoticed by their team-leader, who picked up his bag.
“I’m off. Goodnight.”
Sam actually had to hurry to grab his own bag and make it seem casual. With a quick “see you tomorrow” to his fellow team members, he also stood. As Callen passed his desk, heading towards the exit, Sam threw a carefully blank look in Hetty’s direction. She’d been watching the exchange the entire time. Their gazes met. Sam decided he would say ‘welcome back’ tomorrow. Right now, he had a partner to catch, so he just gave her a nod. She simply returned it. If Sam thought he’d seen a brief flash of fragility, he simply did not have time to worry about it at this point. Callen was already halfway to the door.
“G, wait up,” he called, lengthening his stride to catch up.
“Not in the mood, Sam,” Callen said, keeping his eyes straight ahead, not slowing down.
“You don’t need to be in a specific mood to eat,” Sam stated, as he caught up just as Callen opened the door.
“Was just going to pick something up,” Callen said, stepping through the doorway, with Sam following him outside.
“Yeah, well, you can forget about that. Michelle is counting on us for dinner.”
Finally, Callen came to a halt, and looked at his partner with a frown. “We don’t have plans.”
“You may not have, but Michelle does. Was going to mention it earlier, but then I got saddled with Deeks. Must have slipped my mind.”
In actual fact, early on in his and G’s partnership, Michelle had issued a general invite for Callen. She’d started cooking extra as a matter of course, just in case Sam managed to get Callen to come over. Aiden and Kam had been too young to realise that ‘left-over day’ had not been the norm until ‘Uncle Callen’ became part of the family.
“Uh huh,” Callen was not convinced.
“I promise it’s not the casserole left-overs from yesterday,” Sam said with a knowing grin. “Aiden made short work of that.”
“Well, he is a growing boy,” Callen said, a small smile entering his face, if not his eyes.
“Yeah, well, even he’s going to have trouble finishing your portion as well, so come on. You can disappear after dinner.” It was said in jest, but Sam knew that Callen would read between the lines, knowing that Sam really did understand Callen needed some time alone. He just also wanted to impress on his partner that some things remained the same.
“…Just dinner, then I’m gone,” Callen warned.
“Good.” Sam was satisfied. He walked past his car, leaving it locked. “You drive.”
A little something eased in Callen’s posture, assuring Sam that it was the right move to leave the Challenger at NCIS. He knew that when Callen’s mind was in turmoil, he liked to just drive for a while. And even though Callen was creative enough to work around it, having his car on the driveway would just give him the freedom to leave at leisure.
Besides, it also meant Callen would have to pick Sam up the next morning. Aware of his partner’s need to sometimes just disappear, Sam also knew that he wouldn’t just leave him stranded. What would happen after they’d arrive at NCIS tomorrow was anyone’s guess, but it eased Sam’s own worries, knowing that at least he’d see Callen in the morning. He’d figure out the next step when he came to it. Go with the flow that was G. Callen.
He inwardly chuckled when the conversation with Deeks came back to mind. Sam had actually started out more like Deeks – not that he’d ever tell the detective that. But working with Callen had quickly proven that running lines before an op was just a waste of time. In a way, being partners with Callen was constant improvisation. And while it had frustrated him at first, Sam had quickly discovered that the improv style actually suited him much better.
Taking a seat in the passenger’s side of Callen’s car, Sam looked over at his partner. The tension was still there. There was a rawness to it that Sam rarely witnessed in the special agent.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked once they were en route.
“Nope.” The set jaw was as good an answer as the actual reply was.
“Okay,” Sam agreed easily. He hadn’t expected Callen to want to talk about whatever had sent him reeling. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But Sam wouldn’t be Sam if he didn’t at least offer to listen.
Since Callen didn’t want to talk about it, Sam decided to do the next best thing. Distraction.
“So, what did you say to Deeks?”
Callen blinked, but that was the only indication that he’d not expected that question. “‘Goodnight’?”
“Not just now,” Sam corrected. “This morning. When we were assigned different partners.”
“Ah, you mean, when Kensi asked you for tips on how to handle me?” It was more a statement than a question.
Not surprised that Callen had heard that, he agreed. “Yeah.”
Callen shrugged. “Told him to let you drive.”
Sam scoffed. “Like I’d let him drive. What else?”
“What ‘what else’?”
“I know you said something else,” Sam said firmly, looking over at his partner with a warning in his voice.
“Why?” There, a tiny inflection that let Sam know that Callen was starting to be interested in the conversation despite himself.
“Because he started spouting all this stuff about alpha males, and how he and I weren’t working out because we were now a ‘pack of two alpha males’ or some such nonsense,” Sam said accusingly.
It elicited a small chuckle from Callen.
“I’m glad you think that’s funny.” He sent a glare his partner’s way. “You do know that means he thinks you’re the beta or whatever in our partnership, right?”
Callen shrugged, clearly not bothered. “Whatever works for him.”
“You’re seriously not gonna tell me what you said to him?”
A slight smirk was his answer. Sam sighed. Clearly, he wasn’t going to get any more answers out of Callen on that front. “Well, whatever. Just tell me that we’re back to our usual partners again tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Hetty told me the partnership-allocation is up to me again.” At this, Sam felt a little pang of relief. Not that Deeks was all that bad…for a day. But he still preferred his own partner, thank you very much.
But then Callen sighed. “Although I hate to say it—"
Sam shook his head. “Don’t say it,” he warned.
“We probably should mix it up now and then.”
“I told you not to say it,” Sam reiterated, even if it was obviously too late now. Callen ignored his antics, which meant he was serious about this.
“Look, the way things went today, it worked out… but those two were clearly not comfortable being partnered with us.”
This time Sam was confused. “What, Kensi too? I get Deeks. But you and Kensi have worked together before without problems.”
“Yeah. Well, I suppose ‘uncomfortable’ is not the right word. Just… a bit more tentative?”
Ah. Perhaps Sam could explain that. “… She was worried about you, you know.”
“I’m fine,” Callen replied automatically, even as he kept his eyes on the road.
“Look, I’m just saying, she knows you’ve been more tense with Hunter around, and everything that happened in Romania.” As soon as he said it, he realised this was a bit too close to the topic he’d been trying to avoid.
“I am fine,” Callen spoke, clearly enunciating each word.
“What did Kensi say anyway?” Sam asked, curious as well as wanting to steer the topic away from Hunter.
“Wanted to know my favourite food.”
“That’s what made you think she’s not as comfortable around you anymore?” Sam asked, incredulous.
Callen rolled his eyes. “She wanted us to open up.”
“Bet that was a long conversation,” Sam said with a snort.
Callen smirked. “Told her I was listening.”
Barking with laughter, Sam shook his head. “Crash and burn.”
Callen hummed in agreement, but apparently his thoughts had returned to the seriousness of the matter. He seemed reluctant to continue.
“It wasn’t just them who were uncomfortable with the change in partners,” he said after a few moments of silence. Sam raised an eyebrow.
“You don’t trust Kensi to have your back?”
“I do. Not worried about my back.”
Sam rolled his eyes at that. “Of course you’re not,” he muttered. Callen ignored him.
“…Just not quite as comfortable when I’m not the one who has your back.”
The statement was spoken towards the windshield, but Sam received the message loud and clear. Aware of how unusual it was for Callen to open up about this, he also intuitively knew that it was not that Callen didn’t trust Deeks.
“You still had my back though,” Sam spoke, addressing that which Callen hadn’t said.
“Not the same,” Callen disagreed. But Sam wouldn’t let this go.
“G. I know you disobeyed Hunter when she told you to hold your position.”
Callen shrugged. “Yeah well, never have been the poster boy for following orders.”
“Don’t I know it,” Sam mocked. “Seriously though, G. Thanks.” He knew that, had Callen waited for Hunter to order them to go in, Sam would now be dead. Callen knew it too.
The fact of the matter was, Callen had not trusted Hunter. But it appeared that it had been Callen’s open display of that distrust towards Hunter, that had led Hunter to make the decision to switch them up and to disregard Callen’s input on the case. It was a vicious circle, and Sam knew that Callen blamed himself for not hiding his distrust, thinking that if he had, he might have prevented the partner shift and possibly a man’s death.
They would never know if Deeks would have taken the initiative to barge in as Callen had. And if Sam was honest, he couldn’t blame Deeks for that. If anyone should be blamed, it was himself. He really should have given Deeks a distress word. Sam winced. Not one of his better moves. He hadn’t taken Deeks seriously, and because of that, he’d left himself vulnerable.
He and Callen were so well in-sync, half of the time they really didn’t need to discuss a distress word. Callen knew his go-to ones. ‘Good help is hard to find.’ Deeks hadn’t known. And because Callen hadn’t been there from the start, he’d needed information before he could act on the coded message. Luckily Redman had interfered, buying him precious time, but it was at the cost of his own life.
A little annoyed that Callen had a point when he said none of them had been happy with the partner swap, Sam exhaled forcefully. Then he looked at Callen, an apology in his eyes. Sorry for putting myself at risk unnecessarily. Sorry for worrying you.
It was ironic that usually Sam would be rebuking Callen for not trusting his partner, for not allowing that safety net to limit the risks. Which was, Sam realised, why Callen had not spelled it out, but waited for Sam to come to the same conclusion.
Callen nodded. Message received.
Wanting to lighten the mood a little, Sam broke the silence that had fallen over them.
“So, what’s the plan? Want to switch partners again tomorrow?”
Callen lightly shook his head. “No.”
Grinning, Sam couldn’t help but be a little relieved. There had been enough changes today already, and a quiet voice in the back of his head told Sam that, whatever Hetty had thrown at Callen tonight, meant his partner needed all the stability he could get. Still, he wasn’t going to draw attention to that right now.
“Okay,” he said easily, “well, whenever you think is a good time, just say the word. But I’m telling you right now, I’m calling dibs on Kensi.”
Callen raised an eyebrow. “Deeks that bad, huh?”
Shaking his head, Sam looked over at his partner with a grin. “Nah, he’s alright. But I can’t wait to see him try to go ‘alpha male’ on you.”
Callen rolled his eyes, then smirked. “Why, you think I’ll beta him?”
It elicited a groan from Sam. “Oh come on, G, that’s awful.”
“You just wished you’d thought of it yourself,” Callen returned.
Shaking his head emphatically, Sam scoffed, “Uh-uh. I don’t even want to be associated with that kind of idiotic thinking.”
“Don’t you mean idiota?” Callen fired back, not missing a beat.
“You and Deeks deserve each other,” Sam huffed.
Their banter continued the rest of the way to the Hanna house, leaving Sam satisfied that he’d managed to distract his partner a little from whatever bombshell Hetty had dropped on him this time. He just hoped they’d sort it out themselves, or he might decide he’d have to have a talk with Hetty himself. Because no matter how they rotated partners within their team, G was his partner, and he’d always have his back.
‘And theta’s a promise.’