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Wishful Thinking

Summary:

When Izuku falls asleep on his crush, he wonders if those kisses to the top of his head are just his sleep-filled mind playing tricks on him or if he can dare to hope they are really happening.

Notes:

One more addition to the 365 days of TodoDeku collection! This was posted a while ago and I am only now bringing it here, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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The dorms always become livelier on movie nights. The entirety of the class works together for one common goal. They separate into teams, and Kacchan is always in charge of dinner, even if there are at least three other people around him to help him with anything necessary. Izuku knows better than most that his childhood friend really doesn’t like feeling like he isn’t up to a task on his own, but he will also be the first to admit that Kacchan has been getting better at accepting help from his peers. Except when it comes to cooking.

The only person he even trusts enough to touch anything at all is Tsuyu, and that’s just because she has first-hand experience in the kitchen from taking care of her younger siblings back home. Whoever else gets appointed to the dinner team usually just sits around after setting the table for the rest of the class. Depending on who it is—Kaminari, Ashido, Hagakure or Sero—, it usually means a healthy amount of chaos as some form of wrestling begins among them. There’s the occasional sword fight, but Kacchan tends to snatch the knives away from the ones involved before anyone gets injured.

Never mind the fact that he then proceeds to throw an explosion in their general direction.

While Kacchan and Tsuyu take care of dinner, Satou’s team—which is the only one that is always the same with Yaoyorozu and Uraraka as his helpers—prepares the dessert. Whoever remains has the simplest task: gather all the pillows and blankets in the dorms and haul them down to the common room, arranging the couches and armchairs so that they all face the TV. And after dinner, everyone does who wasn’t in charge of the food does their part in washing the dishes.

Iida mediates the crowd so that there aren’t fights over the comfy seats. After the first night resulted in a bloody nose and a swollen eye, he made sure to assign them fairly so that everyone got their shot at one of the couch cushions. As it seems, tonight Izuku and Todoroki have been given the loveseat, and he is doing his very best not to focus too much on the love part of it. He has been head over heels for his best friend for about a year now, and he still hasn’t gathered enough courage to tell him about it… He is working on it, slowly but surely, and one of these days he is going to confess; but tonight isn’t it.

For one, their entire class is right there. But even if that weren’t the case, when Todoroki is so close to him, Izuku can feel his warmth radiating off of his left side, his throat closes up and he can hardly breathe, let alone speak. It certainly doesn’t help that the class picked a horror movie for the night and he really doesn’t handle those very well.

So maybe when he starts to get drowsy right at the beginning of the movie, Izuku doesn’t fight to keep his eyes open on purpose. Because if he lets himself fall asleep, curled up under his All Might blanket, he will be killing two birds with one stone. If he is snoozing away through the entire movie, he doesn’t have to watch the scary scenes and get nightmares later on, and he also doesn’t have to think about how if he just reaches out with his hand, he could easily touch Todoroki’s, wrap his fingers around it, feel his warm skin…

His heartrate speeds up slightly, but his exhaustion must have been more severe than he anticipated, because he can feel himself slipping under anyway, the blanket of darkness spreading over his consciousness and making everything seem further and further away.

Perhaps he had truly been too tired to think things through, because Izuku did not account for the fact that he is most certainly the cuddly type. Lately he tends to sleep with multiple pillows, one of which is strictly reserved for him to hold on to through the night when he forgets to get one of his plushies out of the closet before getting comfortable in bed. For the longest time he thought it was a childish habit that he had outgrown, but ever since Uraraka had left one of her plush animals in his room and he found himself holding it when he fell asleep, he realised he slept a lot better like that. No point in trying to avoid something that clearly works, he thought.

But it seems he has grown so used to having something to cuddle with, that he subconsciously fell onto his friend. When he regains enough consciousness to be aware of his surroundings, he immediately notices that he has his arms tightly wrapped around Todoroki’s left one, the warmth so wonderful it takes every ounce of willpower he has not to squeeze it even harder. And if that weren’t enough, he appears to be holding onto his hand as well, their fingers laced together.

Izuku must have gotten into a more comfortable position without even knowing, seeing as his head is resting over the top of Todoroki’s stomach, his ear pressed to his chest so tightly he can hear the steady beats of his heart… ba-bump, ba-bump… His mouth gets a little dry, and anxiety grips at his own heart, but Izuku doesn’t dare move. He tells himself it’s because he doesn’t want to disturb his friends, the room deathly quiet but for the eerie music coming from the TV, but he knows, deep down, that he simply doesn’t want this to end just yet.

If Todoroki was uncomfortable, he would have said something, right? He would have just shaken Izuku awake and told him to move… But he didn’t… Though, Todoroki is kind, and he isn’t very good at expressing himself at the best of times, so what if he just doesn’t want to bother Izuku instead? Maybe he is counting the seconds until Izuku wakes up and moves of his own accord.

But he is already awake and refusing to move… This is selfish, he really should just—

A soft touch to the top of Izuku’s head cuts off his train of thought, and his breath hitches. He hears the distinct smack of lips, so quiet no one else must have heard it, but it is so close it reverberates all throughout Izuku’s body, fireworks setting off in his chest and sending sparks into his veins.

He really felt it, right? It isn’t just wishful thinking or one of those daydreams that seem so much realer in this limbo between being fully awake and half asleep? Butterflies swarm in his stomach when he hears it again, feels it again, firmer this time, as if the first had been Todoroki testing the waters and now he was really diving for it.

Does he know Izuku is awake, or did he only do it because he thinks he is fast asleep? Whatever one may be the truth, they both mean the same thing, don’t they? The gesture is clear, and Todoroki had always been one to express his feelings through actions more than words.

Izuku’s chest warms, and he is certain it has nothing to do with his friend’s quirk. He isn’t sure if he is going to be able to fall back asleep, but he most definitely won’t be moving until he has to. And if he manages to convince himself he really isn’t dreaming, he might just finally tell Todoroki how he feels a bit sooner than he thought he could.

Notes:

As always, thank you so much for reading and feel free to leave any comments you may have! You can find me on tumblr @crzangel and on twitter @CrzAngel96!