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Alex’s knuckles were white around the crumbling granite counter in her bathroom. She stared at her reflection in the cracked mirror and ran one hand through her short hair, freshly freed of ceremonial braids. This was supposed to be a day of peace, a wonderful day of celebration. Her tenth Ascension Day. Instead, she had been nearly killed by one of her own people, forced to order a blockade with a kill order around Argo, and more likely than not, she would be saying goodbye to the girl she loved, too.
Her fury had passed but Alex was still shaken from her meeting with Hank. He had been her teacher and advisor for the past decade, guiding her through the trials and tribulations that came with her title, helping her acclimate after her Ascension. But she did not appreciate his implication that she was letting her feelings interfere with her duty, that it was her feelings that had gotten Maggie killed by Lillian. He was lucky all she’d done was shout at him. She could easily have strangled him with her bare hands for daring to speak to her that way.
Of course thinking of Maggie was never easy for her. It brought up old, painful memories she had long since pushed into a box and left sitting on a shelf in the back of her mind. She had no choice. Indulging those feelings was weakness, and to function as Commander, she could not allow such weakness. She had learned her lesson long ago: her feelings and her duty must be kept separate. She could let nothing stand in the way of her duty.
But, loathe as she was to admit it, Hank was justified in his concern. Meeting Kara had cracked open the door Alex had sealed shut after Maggie’s death and still steadily pulled it open further. There was something about the girl from the stars that had captivated Alex from the moment she’d first laid eyes on her. She was beautiful, of course, with sky blue eyes and blonde hair that shone like the sun even when it was caked in dirt and unwashed. But it was so much more than that. She was kind and selfless and brilliant, reasonable and forgiving even when Alex was far from deserving of her forgiveness.
Because of Kara, Alex had realized that shutting off her feelings entirely was no way to live. How could Alex do anything but fall in love with her?
And Alex had been bending for her, changing rules her people had lived by for the past century. By all rights, Alex should have killed James Olsen, Sam Lane, and every one of the Sky People that had ruthlessly murdered the peacekeeping force she had sent to Argo, a force sent to protect them. But she had agreed to spare them, because Kara had told her she could do better. They could do better. That all of their people deserved to live in a better world than kill-or-be-killed. She had pleaded for the Sky People’s lives and Alex had caved to her. Now that choice had come back to bite her.
She knew Kara would leave with Lucy tonight before the blockade she’d ordered around Argo went up. Alex didn’t want her to go. She had told her she was welcome to stay, that she wanted her to stay. But of course she would go. Her people were even less deserving of her, of everything she’d sacrificed for them, than Alex herself. Still, she would go. She would do everything she could to remove the tyrant Sam Lane from power and re-align Argo with the Coalition that would keep them safe.
All Alex could do now was hope she would see her again someday.
A knock sounded at her door, followed by the creaking of the door to her quarters opening, then closing with a loud clack. Alex pushed up the sleeves of her shirt and set her jaw as she walked out to see who had come in. She softened as soon as she saw Kara, her heart fluttering in her chest. Judging by the awestruck way Kara was looking at her, she wasn’t the only one.
Kara opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. She looked down at her feet instead. Silence stretched between them.
“You’re leaving,” Alex stated quietly.
A sad smile flickered briefly across Kara’s lips before she returned her gaze to Alex’s and gave a solemn nod. “Yeah,” she confirmed. “Before the sun sets. Lucy’s waiting for me. She thought I should…say goodbye.”
Alex nodded slowly. “I knew you would go,” she admitted, crossing her arms over her chest. “I wish you wouldn’t.”
“I know.” Kara stepped closer to her, and Alex smiled softly when she noticed the worried crease that had formed between her brows. “I wish I didn’t have to either. But Alex…” She trailed off again, tears shining in bright blue eyes.
Alex took a deep breath. Her chest felt tight, but she ignored it. Another round of meditation when Kara left might be in order to calm herself. “They’re your people, Kara. Of course you’ll help them. That’s who you are. I understand, and I hope you succeed.”
“Thank you,” Kara murmured, wiping away a fallen tear with the back of her hand. “I hope so, too. And I… I’m so sorry, Alex.”
“Sorry?” Alex’s brows furrowed, and this time, she was the one to take a step closer. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re a leader, Kara. Your people look to you for guidance, to help them in making good choices. I was selfish for keeping you from them.”
“No,” Kara asserted, placing her hands on Alex’s shoulders. The gentle contact made her heart skip a beat and her face grow hot. “I made the choice to stay with you. Every day I chose to be here with you because I wanted to. I wanted to help you and learn from you. It was…” She swallowed hard, taking a shaky breath before continuing. “It’s so easy being with you. Easier than being at Argo. And I didn’t have to face everyone. After what I did.”
“What I made you do,” Alex corrected her quietly, bowing her head in shame. Kara may have forgiven her for abandoning her at Fort Rozz and forcing her to pull the lever that killed every person inside. She would never forgive herself.
“I would have made the same choice you did if it was offered to me. We’ve talked about this, Alex. We’ve put it to rest. Please stop beating yourself up. For me.”
Alex sighed and tilted her head, acquiescent. She knew the choice she’d made had been necessary. Unkind but necessary, as were many of the choices the Commander made. It was seeing how much it had hurt Kara that stirred up the feelings of guilt and regret she tried so hard to put aside, even if Kara had forgiven her long ago now.
She stepped back, and Kara’s hands fell from her shoulders. Disappointment immediately clouded her features, but that disappointment faded away when Alex extended her arm. Blue eyes softened, crinkling at the corners, and a small smile adorned her perfect lips. Her arm lined up against Alex’s, and their hands grasped one another’s forearms. A warrior’s handshake.
“May we meet again.” Alex reveled in the way Kara’s eyes lit up when the Sky People’s parting phrase left her lips. She couldn’t pretend she completely understood their foreign culture, but Kara hadn’t been the only one learning in the time they’d spent together.
Kara’s hand squeezed around her arm then pulled, coaxing Alex to step forward, completely in Kara’s space now. They had been closer to one another before but not in quite a long time. Not since Alex had kissed her before the battle at Fort Rozz.
The moment felt incredibly charged, and her heart was pounding in her ears. Kara released a shaky breath against her mouth while Alex stared up at her with round, wonderstruck eyes. Slowly, Kara leaned in and gingerly pressed their lips together.
Alex froze, stunned, for just a second before she folded herself into Kara’s embrace, reaching up to cup the sky girl’s face in her hands. The kiss deepened and Kara’s arms shifted to wrap around her waist. A hand pushed against the small of her back and urged her forward, making her gasp when their bodies finally touched. Against her will, tears slipped down Alex’s cheeks when she opened her mouth to Kara’s probing tongue.
After several long, breathless moments, Kara broke the kiss, resting her forehead against Alex’s and looking into her eyes. Her hand rubbed in small circles against Alex’s back and the dopey, elated smile she wore was enough to make Alex smile back. Her hands trailed down to rest on broad shoulders and she sighed contentedly, taking in the sight of the angel before her, glowing in the setting sun pouring through the window.
“I love you,” Kara whispered earnestly, brushing a kiss across Alex’s cheek. Alex suppressed a shiver, curling into the comfort of Kara’s body against her own. “We will meet again, Alex. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that,” Alex argued weakly. She was shaken, overwhelmed, and trying her hardest not to let her hopes soar. “Your people are at Argo. You’ll need to—”
“You are my people,” Kara interjected, insistent. Her tone left no room for further argument, and Alex could see the determined glint in her eyes. “You are more my people than anyone at Argo ever has been or ever will be. I’m gonna fix the mess they’ve made, and then I’m gonna come home to you. You’re my home, Alex.”
Alex closed her eyes and tilted her head, winding her arms around Kara’s neck until soft lips met her own again. She took a shuddering breath and let Kara’s love wash over and soothe her. For a minute, she could pretend the weight of the world as she knew it wasn’t resting on her shoulders. Like she was just an ordinary girl, happy and in love. Not the beleaguered Commander of thousands.
Unfortunately, the reality wasn’t so kind. Their lips parted, and Kara nuzzled Alex’s cheek with her nose, strong arms still wrapped around her tightly. It had been such a long time since someone had held her like this. So long since she’d allowed someone to hold her.
“I won’t break my promise, Commander.”
“I know. I trust you.” Alex looked evenly into her eyes, warmth spreading through her chest. “I love you, Kara Zor-El. I’ll wait for you to come home to me.”
“Soon.” Big hands cupped Alex’s cheeks and another firm kiss was bestowed on her lips before Kara pulled away. The sun was low in the sky now, and dark was nearly upon them. “I should go,” Kara sighed. “Lucy will be waiting.”
Alex nodded and forced herself to step back, putting distance between them. If she stayed too close, she wasn’t certain she would be able to let Kara walk away. Now more than ever she wanted to keep Kara right here with her, but Argo needed her. No one else could enact the changes that needed to be made there effectively.
“Leidon, Heda.” A tender smile touched Kara’s lips and she lifted her hand in a small wave.
“Goodbye, Kara,” Alex replied softly. She crossed her arms firmly over her chest, watching stoically as Kara walked out the door.