Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“His passion, chivalry, and manliness has won the hearts of people all across the country! Our new Number Four is Japan’s Sweetheart, Red Riot!”

The noise of the room elevates to the point that they almost miss the reveal that Shouto had dropped a position and sits at the Number Three spot, whoops of congratulations being thrown Eijirou’s way.

“Coming in at Number Two, this hero has exploded his way up the charts since his debut, his spitfire attitude and his endless tenacity making him a national favorite and shooting him up the rankings! The Explosion Hero, Ground Zero!”

The room fills with screams of excitement and Eijirou watches Katsuki reach up to turn down his hearing aids, the smallest of proud smiles pulling at the blond’s lips.

“Congratulations, Katsuki.” He leans in, lips ghosting over Katsuki’s ear so that he can be heard over the rowdy cheering and the bottle of champagne being opened.

Turning his head slightly to look at Eijirou as he pulls away, Katsuki pats the redhead’s thigh. “You too, Red.”

Eijirou knocks their shoulders together as they both rise from the couch, grinning brightly.

Katsuki has worked so hard, taking extra shifts at their agency and hardly allowing himself a day off over the last 5 years, so he’s earned it one hundred times over and Eijirou couldn’t be more proud of his best friend.

They turn off the TV after Katsuki’s announcement, all knowing that it isn’t necessary to sit and listen to the confirmation that Deku had made it to the Number One spot and doing so would only dig at Katsuki, making his ranking seem like an insult rather than the amazing feat that it is. He’s mellowed out a bit in his old age of 23, but his rivalry with Deku still burns bright and it’s only a matter of time before he takes Number One, even if it is just for a short time.

“We’re so proud of you both!” Mina throws her arms around the two of them, sniffling loudly and likely smearing her running mascara on their shirts.

“Yeah, we’re right behind ya!” Sero grins and fist bumps Kaminari, who’s just cracked the top fifteen.

“Now it’s time to celebrate!” Mina pulls away and wipes at her eyes before throwing her hands above her head. “Let’s party!”

Plastic cups full of champagne are passed around and Eijirou taps his against Katsuki’s in a toast. “To the new Number Two. I’m so proud of you, bro.”

“If you don’t beat out that IcyHot bastard next year, you’re dead.” Katsuki narrows his eyes challengingly as he takes a sip of his drink and Eijirou snorts, rolling his eyes.

Truthfully, he doesn’t care much about rankings. He just wants to be a good hero and save lives. If people come to like him, come to trust him to help them when they’re in need, then he’s doing something right he supposes.

Plus, the pay doesn’t hurt. He makes enough now that he and Katsuki can afford an upscale apartment near their agency downtown, so that’s a nice bonus.

They spend a while nursing their drinks, discussing the new rankings—their entire class now resides in the top fifty—and gossiping, until Mina takes a swig directly from the champagne bottle and groans. “Champagne is fancy and all, but this is hardly a party! We should go out!”

Eijirou isn’t much for drinking—neither is Katsuki, coincidentally, too worried that his quirk might activate when he’s inebriated and knock out a city block—but today is a special occasion, so Eijirou knocks back the bubbly liquid then bangs his fists together. “Hell yeah!"

After watching Eijirou with an unimpressed look, Katsuki rolls his eyes, but follows his lead and drains his cup before giving a very enthusiastic, “Hell yeah.”

“BAKUBRO’S ON BOARD, LET’S GO BITCHES!” Mina cheers and everyone raises their glasses in response, more cheers permeating the air.

Well, this will be interesting.

Somehow, the squad settle on a karaoke bar, dragging a very opposed Katsuki behind them by the arm. “Fuck no, I’m not singing some shitty pop songs with you assholes!”

“Oh, come on, Bakugou! You’re the Number Two hero in Japan, live a little!”

Katsuki just rolls his eyes and groans, opening the door of the bar. As they enter, they're met with more familiar faces, including the new Number One.

"Deku."

"Kacchan. Congratulations!"

"Yeah, whatever. You too, I guess."

Midoriya beams as he follows Katsuki to their reserved room, trailed by the rest of their graduating class. Small groups of friends start forming quickly, a low chatter filling the room as everyone settles.

Eijirou and Katsuki take a seat on one of the plush couches in the corner as Mina, always the life of the party, volunteers to go first and picks a song she can dance to.

After she finishes, Tokoyami picks a song full of screaming and loud guitars and the party quickly takes off.

They order round after round of drinks as everyone takes their turns, most singing off-key and loud, but obviously having fun. As Uraraka and Midoriya start singing a cheesy love song, Katsuki chugs his drink and throws his head back against couch cushion and slides down dramatically.

"We should go next, bro!" Eijirou sips his drink and chuckles when Katsuki throws him an irritated glare. "C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"Absolutely fucking not."

"Please? For your best friend?" Eijirou puts on his best puppy-dog eyes, jutting his lip out in a pout to sell it.

"No."

After more prodding on Eijirou’s part, both prodding with words and physically prodding Katsuki’s squishy cheeks with his finger, Katsuki finally agrees to sing one—'one, Shitty Hair! That’s it! So you better choose wisely!'—song with Eijirou.

Being Katsuki’s best friend gives Eijirou some secret insider information about the blond that no one else knows, like the fact that Katsuki loves to cuddle...

and the fact that Katsuki is secretly a huge fan of kpop girl groups.

So he chooses one of Katsuki’s favorite songs and when the music starts playing, he grabs Katsuki’s hands and pulls them to the stage, shimmying to the beat.

He’s totally flushed, cheeks as red as cherries, and he’s not sure if it’s from the alcohol or from the proximity or from a combination of both, but he can’t bring himself to care because Katsuki is too, pout on his face to hide his excitement.

With lowered inhibitions, liberated from his worries about Katsuki discovering his feelings, Eijirou doesn’t hold back his flirting as they sing. When the first chorus comes around, Eijirou looks into Katsuki’s eyes as he sings, leaning in close and fluttering his long lashes as he confesses with lyrics in another language. He even goes as far as inserting his best friend’s name into the lyrics as they sing, belting “Katsukiiiii, ooh~” at the top of his lungs, wide grin on his face.

His enthusiasm must slowly infect Katsuki because by the time the second chorus arrives, Katsuki gets that sharp look in his eye, one usually reserved for fierce battles, and he fully commits to their duet.

Katsuki has drank so much tonight that he was having a hard time standing without swaying before, but now, he’s doing the full choreography to the song while he sings, hitting every note perfectly.

Eijirou has never been so in love in his life.

Out of the corner of his eye, Eijirou sees the flash of a camera, hears the faint beep of the start of a recording, but he can’t draw his eyes away from Katsuki to scold whoever it is.

Not that he really wants to, he’d love to have a copy of it, but he knows Katsuki will be embarrassed if he sees it when he’s sober so he knows he should.

He’ll have to remember to get them to delete it later, but for right now, his full attention is needed elsewhere.

He’s in a daze, just watching Katsuki as he puts everything into his performance, and before Eijirou knows it, the song finishes and the moment is over.

“There’s no point staying any longer. None of you losers can beat that!” Katsuki’s roar of victory can barely be heard over the sounds of their friends cheering and clapping. He takes a dramatic bow, nearly stumbling off the stage, then flashes a wicked grin as Eijirou throws an arm over his shoulder and ushers them back to their seat.

As they sit down, Eijirou's arm still in place around Katsuki, Eijirou hums. "You did great up there."

"I know."

"It was pretty hot, not gonna lie."

Katsuki turns his head to focus on Eijirou, leaning in closer. “Are you flirtin’ with me, asshole?”

“What if I said I was?”

Katsuki grins, wide and vicious and absolutely stunning. “I’d say you gotta work harder than that.”

“Yeah? Well, then, challenge accepted—"

“Hi, everyone! I know we’re all here to celebrate everyone’s latest rankings and all of our achievements,” Eijirou is interrupted by Midoriya’s voice ringing out in the room, an air of confidence in his tone that he’s grown into since their days at UA. He sees Katsuki roll his eyes and scoff under his breath, tipping his drink back and downing the entire thing in one gulp as he leans away from Eijirou while Midoriya continues, “but Ochako and I have something else we’d like to celebrate with you all!”

Reaching down to clasp Midoriya’s hand, Uraraka squeals, “We’re getting married!”

In a flash of movement, Katsuki is standing and tugging Eijirou towards the happy couple as the rest of their friends surround them, offering their congratulations.

Katsuki pushes them to the front and stabs a finger into Midoriya’s face. “Fuck you, Deku, I’m gonna get married first!”

At that, Ochako puffs out her cheeks and steps forward to stand toe-to-toe with Katsuki. “Well, if someone had confessed back when we were in high school, you already would be!"

Eijirou cocks his head at that statement, the entire room starting to spin with the movement.

Wait.

Katsuki liked someone in high school? And he didn’t tell Eijirou?

What the hell? They’re best friends, they’re supposed to tell each other everything!

Feeling a pout form on his lips, Eijirou is yanked from his brooding by Katsuki’s voice. “Sh’tty Hair!” Katsuki whips his head around to look at Eijirou, blinking a few times rapidly and swaying slightly. “We’re getting married, let’s go.”

Eijirou's been in love with his best friend for longer than he can even remember, so the second he hears those words, Katsuki’s ruby eyes piercing into him as alcohol swims in his veins and makes his head a hazy mess, his irritation dispels and two words fall from his lips,

“Yeah, okay.”

When Eijirou wakes up the next morning, sunlight streaming through his curtains and directly into his eyes, he’s sure that he died in his sleep and was somehow resurrected from the dead. 

His head is pounding—every beat of his heart slamming in his temples—and his mouth feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton. Groaning lowly, he sits up and pushes one hand through his disheveled hair, the other coming up to cradle the side of his head.

He blinks the sleep from his eyes and yawns as he slides his legs out from under the blankets, his feet coming down to meet the cold floor. A shiver runs up his spine, the cool autumn air seeping into the apartment and biting his bare skin.

Wincing slightly, his head protesting the movement, he stands and makes his way over to his closet in search of a some sort of jacket or hoodie. He flips past the few black skull t-shirts that have made it into his wardrobe over the years and finally settles on an old Ground Zero jacket, the bright orange X across the chest faded after a few too many washes.

Pulling it on over his bare chest, Eijirou hisses as the fabric rubs against the side of his neck, a dull pain blooming just under his ear.

That’s weird.

Bruises are something that Eijirou has come to know intimately in his time as a hero. His stamina has improved tenfold since he graduated UA, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t take hits every now and then when his hardening times out. He can’t say he remembers getting hit anywhere near his neck recently, though.

After softly shutting the closet door, Eijirou makes his way to the bathroom to get a good look in the mirror. Pulling the collar of his jacket—or maybe Katsuki’s jacket, he doesn’t remember anymore—to the side, he tilts his head to get a better angle and finally gets a look at the cause for his discomfort.

A bright violet has blossomed on the side of his neck, a bold blend of blues and purples harsh against his tan skin.

A hickey.

He’s never so much as even kissed someone before and now Eijirou has a fucking hickey.

What the hell happened last night?

He prods lightly at it, whimpering slightly at the faint throb. Whoever gave him this fucking eyesore definitely didn’t hold back.

Shit, he has patrol today.

There’s no way in hell he’s going out in public with this thing on full display, he just got to Number Four!

The press is going to hound him more than ever now and if he’s seen with this, Eijirou can't even imagine the kind of rumors that would arise. He can practically see the headlines now, accusing him of torrid affairs and digging into his past for potential partners.

Definitely not something he needs (or wants) to deal with right now.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, quietly groaning, Eijirou decides then and there that he's never touching another drop of alcohol since he apparently can't handle himself and decides to make out with random people whenever he's drunk.

He can't even remember what they looked like.

What a mess.

Whatever, now is not the time to dwell on that. Now is the time to cover this hickey—and the other one he just discovered located right under his collarbone, great—since he has patrol in an hour.

God, Eijirou hates everything right now.

Thankfully, Eijirou has some fantastic foundation and concealer that should work perfectly to cover his mistake.

Eijirou rifles around the cupboard above his sink in search of the makeup he usually reserves for red carpet events and, in the process, knocks a hairspray bottle off the shelf and into the sink.

He flinches as the bottle clatters against the porcelain, the ringing that pierces his ears amplified in his hungover state. Blinking away the stabbing pain the sound caused in his head, Eijirou hears shuffling in his bed and freezes.

What the fuck.

Who's in his bed?

Eijirou pokes his head out of the bathroom, arm hardened into a blade at his side just in case he has to defend himself, and tries to get a good look at the person he apparently shared a bed with.

There’s an arm slung off the side of the bed, the palm decorated with thick callouses and scars. Releasing the breath he was holding, Eijirou rolls his eyes, smiling the slightest bit.

He knows those hands.

Katsuki.

Fuck, that’s a relief.

He’s shared a bed with Katsuki enough times that it really shouldn’t faze him at this point, but the telltale burning of his freckled cheeks betrays just how much that fact still seems to fluster him. Scrubbing at his cheeks, willing the blush to go away, Eijirou sighs quietly and turns to resume his covering of the awful gift from an unknown source.

For just a moment, he considers that maybe Katsuki was the one who—No, never mind, he’s not even gonna entertain that thought.

He doesn’t need to fuel his false hopes, get his head stuck in the clouds only to crash back to Earth when Katsuki wakes up and tells him what the hell they all did last night.

As he shakes his head to clear away those thoughts, something catches his eye, a small flash from near the bed. A beam of sunlight falls on Katsuki’s hand, reflecting off a thick gold band situated on his left hand.

A wedding band.

What the fuck?

In a matter of seconds, Eijirou goes through so many emotions that the room feels like it’s spinning.

First, he’s simply in disbelief.

Katsuki got married.

Then, it fades into bitter anger because how the fuck could Katsuki, Eijirou’s best friend in the entire world, not tell him that he’d gotten married! He didn’t even know Katsuki had been seeing anyone! Eijirou had always thought that even if he and Katsuki never ended up together, he’d at least get to stand next to his best friend as best man in his wedding. It'd break Eijirou's heart to do so, but he still would because Katsuki's happiness means more than anything to him!

But Katsuki didn’t even ask him.

Didn’t even invite him!

And finally...he lands on heart-wrenching sadness.

Why didn’t Katsuki tell him?

They’re supposed to tell each other everything. Does Katsuki know that Eijirou has been in love with him since Kamino, since the night that neither of them will ever forget? Is he just trying to spare Eijirou’s feelings by keeping him in the dark?

Eijirou knew that he never really had a chance with Katsuki, but the idea that Katsuki has known about Eijirou's feelings for him all along stings worse than he can possibly admit.

He's wrenched from his emotional hurricane by a groan as Katsuki emerges out from his cocoon of camouflage blankets. He’s shirtless—a sight that really shouldn’t stun Eijirou after so many years of changing in locker rooms together, but never fails to make him flustered—broad shoulders and toned arms flexing as he crosses them over his chest, blankets falling to rest around his hips and just shy of covering his flannel pajama pants underneath.

Eijirou's flustered state is only furthered when he notices that Katsuki's neck and collarbones are littered with harsh marks, angry and red and suspiciously similar to shark bites—

“What time is it?”

Willing the blush away from his face once again, Eijirou chuckles lightly. “Hey, man, good morning! It’s just after noon!”

“Too fucking loud, holy fuck.”

“Ah,” Eijirou lowers his voice, smiling apologetically, “Sorry. How do you feel? Because you look, um,” He lets himself trail off before he says something he’ll regret because honestly, even hungover—skin oily, neck covered with striking bruises, eyes red and puffy, hair sticking out in a thousand different directions—Katsuki still looks breathtakingly beautiful.

“Fuck you,” Katsuki grouses and presses his palms into his temples, massaging them harshly, “I think I was hit by a fucking truck.”

“Yeah, man, same here. Do you know what happened last night?” He pointedly ignores how his voice cracks a bit on the last word and tries to slow his racing heart. “I don’t really remember anything after we got to the karaoke bar.”

“No fucking clue, I remember even less than that." Katsuki pauses. "Wait, you assholes convinced me to go to a karaoke bar? Fuck, I’m never drinking again.”

Eijirou snorts, rolling his eyes. “You love karaoke, you just pretend to hate it to keep up your prickly persona.”

“Eijirou,” A growl rumbles through Katsuki’s chest as Eijirou plops down at the foot of the bed. “I fucking hate karaoke.”

“Yeah, well, your behavior last night says otherwise."

“You just fucking said—”

“That I didn’t really remember anything after we got to the bar. It’s mostly spotty, but I distinctly remember us duetting on a very catchy k-pop song and absolutely killing it.”

With one blank look, Katsuki sees through Eijirou’s bluff and kicks him in the side playfully. “Fuck you, we did not do that.”

“Okay, well, maybe I don’t remember the whole thing, but I have Fancy stuck in my head and a very vague memory of serenading you, so that’s enough evidence for me.” Eijirou sticks his tongue out and then, as his eyes fall on Katsuki’s ring again, sighs heavily as his face falls and his voice lowers, “When were you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Katsuki cocks his head, raising an eyebrow as blond spikes fall into his eyes.

“That you got married.”

“I’m not fucking married! What the hell are you talking about, Shitty Hair?” Confusion takes over Katsuki’s face, eyes wide and questioning.

"That's not what the ring on your finger says!" Exasperated, Eijirou throws his left arm out to gesture at Katsuki's ring, his haywire emotions sending hardening rippling from his elbow down to his fingers.

Then, he hears a small clink.

Both his and Katsuki's eyebrows shoot up, eyes falling to Eijirou's hand simultaneously.

"What the—"

A gold band that perfectly matches Katsuki's sits on his finger.

"Fuck."

There's complete and total silence for a moment.

Then, "Why do I feel like Deku is responsible for this?"

"You can't always blame things on Midoriya, man, how could this possibly be his fault?"

"I have a fucking sixth sense about this shit, I know he was involved."

"Even if he is, it doesn't change the fact that apparently we got fucking married, Katsuki! While drunk! In the middle of the night! How did we even manage to do that?!" Eijirou groans, letting his face fall into his hands.

"Fuck if I know, but Shitty Hair, you're going to fry your last brain cell if you keep freaking out." Prying the redhead's hands away from his face, Katsuki sighs. "Just—try to calm down and breathe, Ei."

As he tries to even his breathing, Eijirou clenches both of his hands into his blanket, using the familiar, soft material to ground him. Once he's gotten it mostly under control, he murmurs hesitantly, "So what do we do now? Do we get a divorce?"

Katsuki looks surprised. “What’s the point? If you want to, we can, but I think it’s a lot more fucking trouble than it’s worth.”

“You’re really not bothered by the fact that we're married now? Or that we kissed? How are you so calm about this, I feel like I’m gonna pass out.”

Katsuki huffs and crosses his arms once more as he leans back against the headboard. “Red, you’re already my partner in every other sense. We have a hero agency together. We own an apartment together. Two weeks ago, you started researching animal shelters so we can adopt a dog together. You’re my best fucking friend. If I had to drunkenly marry and make out with anyone, I suppose you're not the worst option."

"That was so close to being nice, but you dropped the ball right at the end, bro."

"Ugh, you're really gonna make me say it?" Katsuki throws his head back to thud against the wall. "Fine! I'm glad it was you."

"Really?" Eijirou's voice is small, but the hope seeping into his chest is growing with every passing moment.

"Yes, really, idiot. Now, go get fucking dressed, you're gonna be late for patrol."

"Oh, shit!"

Eijirou races to get ready and leaves the apartment in record time, the ring on his finger heavy, but his heart feeling lighter than ever.

Chapter Text

The following few weeks passed without incident; Katsuki was right, nothing really changed now that they're married. Their lives continued like normal, working long hours and saving lives, then coming home and enjoying each other's company.

They'd both been a bit more tactile since that day, cuddling on the couch as they watch movies or settling a chin on a shoulder as the other cooks. It was so nice and they fell into the routine so easily that Eijirou almost forgot that they weren't actually a couple.

Usually, the squad comes over on Sundays for dinner, Katsuki and Eijirou preparing a huge meal and providing an opportunity for all of them to catch up after a long work week. Unfortunately, ever since the hero ranking ceremony, they've all been far too busy to get together.

Eijirou had seen Kaminari for all of two minutes on patrol one day—hardly long enough to even say hello—but outside of that occasion, he hadn't seen anyone and hadn't been given the chance to ask anyone for the full story behind their marriage.

That is, until Mina shows up on their doorstep on their first day off since the party.

Without preamble, Mina shoves her way into their apartment and plops down in a seat at their table. "I've been waiting for you to call for five damn weeks, Eiji. Five weeks! How could you deprive me like this?"

"What are you talking about? Deprive you of what?"

"The panic! The gossip! The juicy details!"

"What the hell are you screaming about?" Katsuki enters the room, drawn in by Mina's raised voice, and shoots Eijirou a confused look as he sits.

"The news, Blasty! I've been waiting for one of you dumbasses—"

"Hey!"

"Hah?"

"—to call me and tell me about what happened after the party! But no, you leave poor little ol' me in the dark and I had to take it upon myself to come here and pry it out of you!"

"Mina," Eijirou reaches over and pats her hand lightly, "neither of us remember enough to tell you anything."

“Wait, what?"

"We both blacked out."

"What! How? I drank more than both of you combined!" She pauses for a moment. "Wait, don't answer that, we all know I can drink everyone under the table."

"Can't argue with you there," Eijirou laughs sheepishly, withdrawing his hands.

Katsuki mutters under his breath, chin in his hand and looking away petulantly, "Lucky bitch."

“Hey!” Eijirou whips his head over to look at Katsuki and jabs an elbow into his side. “No calling Mina a bitch!”

“I called her lucky!”

“That doesn’t negate the ‘bitch’!”

“God, you’ve really leaned into the old married couple thing, huh?” She flicks her eyes between them both and narrows her eyes. “As much fun as this whole thing is to watch, I'm done waiting. Spill!"

“Fine, witch—”

“You are the most infuriating person I’ve ever met, holy shit.” Eijirou lightly bites the inside of his cheek to keep the amused smile off of his face, Katsuki holding most of his attention despite Mina's growing exasperation.

"Ugh!" Throwing her hands up, Mina’s pink curls bounce as she shakes her head. “What is going on between you two?”

Eijirou cocks his head. “What do you mean?”

“You got married!”

“Yeah, and?” Eijirou could feel Katsuki’s irritation rolling off him in waves, patience wearing thin.

“You didn’t get divorced!”

“Get to the point, Raccoon Eyes!”

Puffing her cheeks out, Mina huffs. “Are you together now? Because if you are, then Kaminari definitely owes me money.”

“No, we’re just bros!” Eijirou waves his hands in front of himself frantically, trying to suppress the blush that is rising on his face. “Wait. What was that second part?”

Mina pointedly ignores his question. “Bros… who are married.”

“Yes! I’m not interested in anyone,” He catches himself before he says ‘else’, “and we already live together and work together and we’re best friends. We were practically married anyway, so why bother getting divorced?”

Pushing her seat away from the table, Mina gives them both long, considering looks, looking caught between irritation and resignation. “I have to go right now, immediately.”

“Wait, what? Mina—” She was gone before Eijirou even got her name out.

Turning to Katsuki, Eijirou huffs. “What was that about?”

“She has a fucking flair for the dramatic, I wouldn’t question it.”

They should’ve questioned it.

Because the next time they see her, they’re ambushed by their entire squad with Mina at the helm, brandishing a bottle of sake. She sets the bottle on the table with a dramatic thud, obviously irritated as everyone settles into their seats.

"Hey, guys!" Eijirou plasters on a smile, though it feels more like a grimace. "To what do we owe the pleasure? Not that you aren't allowed to come visit! You're our friends and we love to have you here—"

"Eiji."

Eijirou gulps.

That's Mina's 'I'm disappointed in you' voice.

"I've gathered everyone here to sort this shit out once and for all. We're gonna get everything out in the open and we're not leaving until that happens. Now," She takes a swig of the sake, "do you guys want to know what happened that night?"

"I mean, it doesn't really matter—"

"That was rhetorical." Mina gives Eijirou a blank stare as she holds a hand out to Kaminari. Once his phone has been placed in her palm, she scrolls for a moment, then slides it across the table to them.

Eijirou exchanges a mildly concerned look with Katsuki, then presses play.

Loud music crackles through the speakers of the phone, filling the room. In the video, Eijirou stands off to the side, looking awestruck, as Katsuki starts belting the lyrics to the song playing. He watches equally as awestruck now, as he feels Katsuki bristle next to him.

The moment that Katsuki starts dancing on screen, he lets out a low snarl and snatches the phone off the table to blow it up; the sound of glass shattering fills the space between them.

"Dude, my phone!"

"I don't know what you expected to happen here, man. To be honest, this is actually on the more calm end of the pissed-off Bakugou scale, so I say you got lucky. There's a reason I didn't let her use mine."

"Bro!" Kaminari turns to pout at Sero, betrayed.

Eijirou feels a bit guilty, but he's kind of glad that Katsuki was so focused on himself in that video and destroying the evidence—and Kaminari's phone in the process—that he seems to have missed just how in love Eijirou looked in it.

Things are good right now.

Great, even.

The last thing they need is Eijirou's feelings complicating, and potentially ruining, everything.

Sero shrugs in response to Kaminari's indignation as he pushes himself away from the table, standing to collect glasses for all of them. When he returns, Mina starts pouring them all generous helpings of the alcohol. "Drink first, talk later."

"Hell fucking no, I swore off that poison."

"Yeah, I'm with Katsuki on this one, guys." Eijirou holds his hands up placatingly, shaking his head as Sero places a cup in front of him.

"Fine," Mina narrows her eyes, "then I'm going to drink. I have dealt with this shit for far too long to be sober for this conversation."

"Agreed," Kaminari and Sero raise their glasses simultaneously and down the liquid in one swift movement.

"Can you just fucking get to the point? I have no goddamn clue what you're all on about and this shit is getting annoying." Katsuki grits his teeth, setting his jaw and crossing his arms.

"The point is," Mina does a scarily accurate impression of Katsuki's gravelly voice, "after you two performed the most romantically-charged duet of Fancy I or anyone else has ever witnessed, you were cuddling on the couch and flirting. Obnoxiously. Then, when Izuku and Ochako told us that they're getting married, Blasty decided that it'd be a fantastic idea to yell about how 'I'm getting married first, Deku!' and drag me and Eiji all around the city in search of legal papers and a 24-hour chapel at 2AM."

Eijirou groans, pinching the bridge of his nose harshly. Yeah, maybe he will have that drink then.

Katsuki must have the same thought because he watches his best friend chug his drink out of the corner of his eye as he knocks back his own glass. When they're done, Katsuki turns to Eijirou and stabs a finger into his face. "I fucking told you Deku had something to do with this, Shitty Hair!"

"That was literally all you! He didn't do anything!"

"He challenged me!"

"He announced his engagement!"

"Yeah, before I could tell you how I feel, asshole! We were supposed to get married first!"

Eijirou freezes, breath caught in his throat. "What did you just say?"

"I told that bastard that I was—" His voice catches and he looks away, staring a hole in the wall just beyond Eijirou's head, "that I was going to propose to you after the rankings were announced. I had the rings on me and everything."

"You were going to propose to me?" Eijirou's voice drops to a whisper, his thundering heart drowning it out in his ears.

"That's what I fucking said, isn't it?"

"Why didn't you?"

Katsuki drags a hand over his face. "I just couldn't fucking do it. Didn't feel like the right time, still wasn't sure how you felt. A lot of shit stopped me. And apparently, stupid fucking Deku had to go rub how weak I am in my face."

"Katsuki," Eijirou reaches out and settles a hand on his best friend's cheek, "we both know Midoriya wouldn't do that. You guys are friends. Hell, he's your best friend outside of me."

A groan. "I know, okay! I fucking know! But I still let it get to me and now you're stuck in some fucking sham marriage with someone you don't love! Why aren't you angry?" Katsuki's voice cracks, "You should be angry, Eijirou."

Laughing humorlessly, Eijirou looks at the ceiling. "I'm not angry because I've been in love with you since Kamino! Accidentally getting married to you was the best thing that's ever happened to me! I've been worried about you being stuck in a sham marriage with someone you don't love! God, we're idiots."

"That's what I've been saying!" When Mina speaks up, Eijirou startles. He'd gotten so caught up in Katsuki that he forgot they had an audience.

Awkward.

Blushing brightly, Eijirou moves to withdraw his hand, but Katsuki catches it before it leaves his face. "Forget about them, focus on me. Since fucking Kamino?"

"Yeah," Eijirou breathes.

Katsuki inches forward.

"You should have said something. Done something about it."

Eijirou does too.

"Yeah."

"Well, are you going to do something about it now?"

Crimson yes flick down to soft lips in a silent plea for permission before meeting ruby red once more.

"Yeah."

Eijirou surges forward to press his lips against Katsuki's, endlessly happy that he'll actually remember this kiss unlike the many before. His heart stutters frantically in his chest as his entire body lights up like a firecracker, skin tingling all the way down to his toes.

When a weight settles on his legs, Eijirou instinctively wraps his arms around Katsuki's waist, pulling him against his chest in an embrace and kissing him even harder. He has no actual idea what he's doing, but based on the small sigh Katsuki gives, he'd say he's doing alright.

"And... My work here is done. Let's go, other idiots." After a moment, Mina's voice rings out from beside them, but Eijirou is far too focused on kissing the life out of the blond that has situated himself in his lap to really register it and the slamming of the door that follows.

Nothing outside of the lips against his and the warm body of his best friend under the palms of his hands matters in this moment.

When they finally pull away from each other to catch their breath, panting slightly as they knock foreheads, Eijirou murmurs softly, "So husbands for real?"

Katsuki snorts and intertwines their left hands. "Yeah, idiot. Husbands for real."

The following day, Eijirou is busy preparing dinner—he’s actually allowed to use the oven by himself these days, something that Katsuki was vehemently against when he first started teaching Eijirou how to cook back when they were first years—when Katsuki returns to their apartment after his patrol.

“Hi, babe!” Eijirou stops stirring the food, relishing in the pet name for a moment as Katsuki unwinds his scarf and removes his shoes. “God, it feels so good to call you that, holy shit.”

“You’re such a fucking dork.” Katsuki snorts, tilting his head up to press a kiss to Eijirou’s lips.

Eijirou melts into it, heart beating frantically as butterflies swarm in his stomach. He simply cannot believe that this is happening, that his love is requited and he’s married to Katsuki and he finally gets to kiss him after all this time. It feels too good to be true.

“I have something better you can call me though.”

“Yeah? Wait, lemme guess: Honey? Sweetie? Angel? Love of my life?”

Katsuki hums as he digs into his coat pocket, brandishing his wallet after a moment. He slides a card out of one of the pockets and hands it to Eijirou. “How about this instead?”

Raising his eyebrows in curiosity, Eijirou takes the card and reads it over.

It’s Katsuki’s hero license.

Kirishima Katsuki’s hero license.

“Katsuki…” Eijirou breathes reverently, tears immediately welling in his eyes as he looks at his husband. Katsuki gives him a soft smile and Eijirou slams his body into his best friend’s, nearly toppling them over onto the linoleum.

He feels light kisses being pressed against his collarbone as he hugs Katsuki as tight as he can possibly manage, hoping he’s able to convey even just a fraction of the love and happiness and joy he feels in this moment.

Katsuki took his name.

It doesn’t come as a surprise that the media catches wind of the name change, not really.

Up until that point, they’d been able to keep their marriage under wraps; they hid their wedding rings while working and kept things strictly platonic when out in public. And eventually, hiding their relationship just became second nature for Eijirou. It was a part of their lives only for them to share, something personal and intimate, so Katsuki changing his name didn’t seem significant outside of their little bubble.

It was a big deal to him, of course, but it didn't seem like something truly significant outside of their apartment, so he didn't give it a second thought.

That is, until their faces are plastered across every single media outlet across Japan, paired with the headline “RED RIOT AND GROUND ZERO: BEST FRIENDS TO HUSBANDS OVER NIGHT”.

Then he realizes that, yeah, it's pretty significant outside of their apartment.

In the back of his mind, Eijirou figured that their relationship would leak sooner or later. They were hiding it well, but they also have loudmouth friends (whom they love dearly) that are chronic gossips, so he always knew this day would come.

What he didn't expect is for the leak to come from the least likely source: Katsuki himself.

Eijirou knows that Katsuki values his privacy—it’s something he’s made abundantly clear in their time as heroes—so finding out that it was the leak was the work of his husband leaves him a bit shocked, to say the least.

It came in the form of a ten-second clip from an interview after a big drug bust.

A reporter on the scene made the error of referring to Katsuki as “Mr. Bakugou”, which prompted Katsuki to cut him off with a snap of, “It’s fucking Mr. Kirishima now, get it right!”

That clip went viral within 24 hours and the following day, everyone in the country knew that Eijirou and Katsuki are hero society’s hottest new couple.

Anything related to heroes’ relationships is front-page worthy, especially when it’s two pros involved. So when it’s revealed that Katsuki and Eijirou, two recently-crowned Top 5 heroes, got married in the dead of night when no one even knew they were more than friends?

It was a media feeding frenzy.

It was also a personal feeding frenzy.

Eijirou’s moms were not happy about being left in the dark, but honestly, Eijirou was so caught up in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and marriage that he hadn’t thought about actually spreading the news.

Plus, neither Mina nor Kaminari have ever kept a secret in their lives, so it’s really not Eijirou’s fault for half-expecting them to tell everyone that needed to know the moment they walked out of his and Katsuki’s apartment.

He’d be proud of them, if it wasn’t at the expense of his right ear that’s now ringing due to the sheer volume of his mama yelling into the phone. “How could you keep this from us, Eijirou? You didn’t even invite us to the wedding! Our only son got married and we weren’t even there!”

“Mama, please! We’ll be having another ceremony eventually and of course you’ll be there! The first wasn’t exactly, um,” He chuckles half-heartedly and rubs the back of his neck, “planned. Things just kind of happened.”

“What the hell does that mean!”

Eijirou flinches away from the hurt and disappointment in his mama’s tone and sighs heavily as he lets his head fall against the kitchen counter with a thunk.

Katsuki, who’d been watching this all play out with a mildly amused expression until now, stands from his seat at the island and plucks the phone from his best friend’s hand, rubbing Eijirou’s back gently as he takes over the conversation. “Mrs. Kirishima, it’s Katsuki. If you want to be angry with anyone, be angry with me. It’s my fault this all happened the way it did. But I plan to do this properly as soon as possible because Eijirou deserves as much.”

Eijirou turns his head on the cool countertop to look up at his husband, smile pulling at his lips as warmth spreads through his chest. Katsuki catches him staring and flicks his forehead as he listens to Eijirou’s mama on the other line.

After a moment, he replies, “Of course. Yeah, I’ll personally send you all the details. We want you both to be part of the ceremony. Uh huh, you too. Bye.” With a distressed groan, Katsuki hangs up and runs a hand over his face.

Eijirou takes his other hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing lightly, as he coos, “You were so polite, babe! I’m not sure I’ve ever heard you go so long without cursing before.”

"Yeah, well, don't expect to ever fucking hear it again."

"What about at the wedding?"

"That's my fucking day, I ain't holding my tongue for anyone,” Katsuki growls, tugging his hand free to wrap his arms around Eijirou’s neck. “Everyone can take their opinions and shove 'em right up their asses."

Pressing the back of his hand against his forehead, Eijirou sighs dreamily. "You truly have a way with words, Katsuki. I'm totally swooning right now."

With a weak, venomless "shut the fuck up, asshole”, Katsuki pulls Eijirou close to connect their lips and effectively put a stop to Eijirou’s teasing.

Eijirou sighs and brings his hands up to cradle Katsuki’s face as he lets the last bit of tension from his mama’s scolding melt from his shoulders. When they part for air, Eijirou pecks Katsuki twice more on the lips and knocks their foreheads together lightly. “Thank you for taking care of that. I’m not sure how much more I could’ve taken.”

“Yeah, whatever. Just couldn’t stand to see you flounder like a dumbass anymore.”

Eijirou rolls his eyes. “Sure, Katsuki. Y'know, you can admit that you did it because you love me. It won’t kill you.”

“I think it would, actually.” Katsuki deadpans before pressing another kiss to Eijirou’s lips.

“You’re really lucky you’re cute because you are so annoying.” An exasperated smile on his face, Eijirou pulls Katsuki impossibly closer and reconnects their lips for one last lingering kiss. “But, I love you, and I don’t know how I ever got lucky enough to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Gross. How can you say shit like that?” Katsuki wrinkles his nose and Eijirou gives in to the impulse to kiss the tiny crease. “I guess I,” He retches, “love you too. Whatever. Just kiss me, you idiot. I’m done talking.”

“Aw, good job, babe! I do suppose you deserve a reward for such a heartfelt confession, so c'mere.”

Whether they’ve been married for a few months or for a few decades, Eijirou knows that kissing Katsuki is always going to be his favorite thing to do.

Pursing his lips at the mildly unfamiliar man in the mirror, Eijirou turns his head and runs a hand over his newly shorn head.

“It looks good, idiot, stop second guessing it.” Katsuki’s face appears behind him in the mirror, arms snaking around his middle and chin coming to rest on his shoulder.

There’s been a lot of changes in Eijirou’s life in the past several months; the undercut and mohawk are just the newest.

“It’s a little too late to second guess it, isn’t it?”

“Doesn’t mean you aren’t.”

Eijirou sighs, turning in Katsuki’s arms to rest his chin on Katsuki’s head. “You know me too well.”

“Damn right I do.”

Pressing his nose into Katsuki’s soft hair, Eijirou murmurs after a few moments of silence, “I can’t believe we’re getting married today. And that we’ll actually remember it this time.”

“I swear to fucking god, if there’s even one drop of alcohol at this wedding, I’ll kill Deku.”

A loud laugh rumbles through Eijirou’s chest as he pulls back to look at his husband. “Dude, we both know he’s the least likely to smuggle in alcohol out of all of our friends.”

“Whatever, it’d still be his fault regardless. Stupid Deku, always ruining shit.”

“You are so damn weird,” Eijirou cackles, amused by the pinched look Katsuki’s face has taken on at the mention of Midoriya. “To be honest though, I wouldn’t blame him if he did ruin our wedding. We kinda ruined his engagement.”

“Asshole had it coming!”

“Of course he did, babe.” Shaking his head with a chuckle, Eijirou brings his hands out from around Katsuki and checks his watch. “Oh, we should probably hurry it up. They’re expecting us soon.” He fiddles with his tie for a moment, lips set in a pout, before sighing, resigned. “Is my tie on straight?”

“Better be the only thing straight at this wedding,” Eijirou barely catches Katsuki mumble under his breath and unsuccessfully stifles a snort. Smirk on his lips, Katsuki fixes Eijirou’s tie with quick, nimble fingers and tightens it. “There. You ready?”

Eijirou catches Katsuki’s hand as he goes to pull away, pecking it lightly then pressing it to his chest, right above his heart. “Always.”

The moment Eijirou leans in to capture Katsuki’s lips, eyes fluttering closed, Mina bursts through the door with a huff. “What the hell, guys? The grooms aren’t supposed to see each other before the ceremony, it’s bad luck! Why aren’t you with Midoriya and Todoroki, Bakugou?”

Katsuki scoffs and rolls his eyes before gripping Eijirou’s tie and pulling his best friend forward the final few centimeters to meet his lips, maintaining full eye contact with Mina in lieu of a response.

Eijirou, cheeks burning and heart racing from the kiss, clears his throat and pulls his attention back to Mina to reassure her with a light laugh. “I’m not sure how to break this to you, but we’re already married, so I’m pretty sure that superstition doesn’t apply anymore. Also, we saw each other before the other wedding and that whole thing was the best stroke of luck I’ve ever had, so I’m willing to take the chance either way.”

“Fucking sap.” Katsuki bumps shoulders with him and Eijirou grins in response, finding his husband’s calloused hand and squeezing it once he’s intertwined their fingers.

“Holy shit, you two are insufferable. I regret ever getting you together.”

“Aw, you don’t mean that!” Eijirou chuckles good-naturedly as he follows her out of the bathroom and towards their apartment’s front door.

Mina takes a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose as if she’s staving off a headache, then sighs, moving to slip on her obnoxiously bright pink knee-high boots. “I don’t, but you’re both the worst and I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah, we love you too, Raccoon Eyes.” With a huff, Katsuki lightly kicks Mina’s leg, careful not to dirty her suit, and slips out the door before she can do something terrible like hug him, or, God forbid, start crying.

“Blasty, you can’t just say that and leave! What the hell!”

As Mina chases Katsuki down the hall, Eijirou smiles softly to himself and flips off the apartment’s lights as he pulls the door shut with a click. Faint explosions and the sound of Mina’s laughter echo throughout the building and Eijirou’s entire body fills with warmth.

It’s going to be chaotic—probably even more chaotic than getting married in the middle of the night while drunk off his ass—but things always are with the people he loves, and truly, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

It’s definitely shaping up to be the most memorable night of his life.

(At least, he hopes he’ll remember this one.)