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When Tony left NCIS, he figured that he would eventually be forgotten by most of the agents there. After all, he barely remembered some of his colleagues from his first job at this point in time. What he hadn’t expected was that he would be forgotten and for that matter replaced in two weeks.
He thought he’d made friendships with most of the MCRT before he left, but he was surprised by how little they attempted to keep in contact with him. He’d even made it easy for them by initiating an email to each and every one of them, well except for Gibbs who he sent a snail mail letter to. He figured since the guy was in the Marines and had a wife and daughter while he was deployed that he was more likely to respond to handwritten correspondence than email, especially since Tony knew Gibbs hated the computer.
He wasn’t expecting roses and heartfelt declarations of love, simply friendship. He’d gotten exactly one response from Abby who babbled on about his replacement Nick Torres and how he too loved movies and movie quotes and after that, nothing. He’d even sent a second and third email to Abby in case she’d just gotten busy and his response had gotten lost in her inbox, but no dice.
He hadn’t had a chance to develop as close of ties with Bishop, so he wasn’t really surprised when their conversations petered off and stalled out. He’d always seen McGee as the brother he never had, so the lack of response from Tim hurt him the most out of all of them. Plus, he knew damn well that McGee was happy to have IM conversations and other such things from the Claire debacle.
So it hurt that McGee didn’t even try to keep up with him. It was over a month since he’d sent the first email to McGee and still no response. Tim hadn’t even responded to the second or third emails. Tony had pretty much given up hope that Tim would talk to him ever again.
He was shocked when he received a formal email basically asking him to cease and desist in contacting Tim. Reading between the lines, Tony could tell that he’d been replaced in McGee’s eyes and it hurt. Still the one that surprised him the most was Ducky.
Ducky had always been happy to natter on at him and Tony had expected that to translate to long lengthy rambling emails. Instead, he’d gotten silence. Jimmy had replied to the first email and even to the second one, but the last email response Tony had gotten had again been all about how amazing Nick Torres was.
Tony couldn’t help feeling like he’d been replaced by a simulacrum. There was no way that Torres was the same as Tony, but it seemed like everyone on the team was happy to spend time with Torres instead of Tony. Tony had been forgotten. Once Torres entered the picture, he wasn’t even an afterthought anymore.
If he thought that the handwritten letter would get a better response from Gibbs, he was sorely mistaken. He’d also sent an email just in case Gibbs had developed a proficiency with electronics that Tony wasn’t aware of. No response to either letter.
He just had to resign himself to the fact that somehow Nick Torres had replaced him and in one fell swoop he’d been completely forgotten. It hurt more than he’d expected. Even though they were friends, they’d been his family for the last twelve years.
He’d thought that maybe it would be difficult to keep in touch a year or two down the road. He never imagined that he’d be cut off like this. He never imagined that he was of so little importance that a single person could replace him so easily.
It hurt. On top of that, his new job wasn’t going so hot and he hadn’t made any new friends. His normal DiNozzo charm was somehow failing him.
He honestly felt like his entire life was fading to black. Unlike in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ if Tony were to disappear off the face of the Earth, he didn’t think anyone would care. It was insane to go from being super popular to basically non-existent.
He’d known that most people lied and cheated, his father had taught him that one well. He’d known that just because people were supposed to care didn’t mean they would, but he’d thought that the team was different. That they actually cared for him.
Apparently, he was wrong. Apparently, he had only ever been a nuisance or annoyance to them. They’d been happy to finally be rid of his presence it seemed.
They certainly didn’t miss him or remember that he existed in any shape matter or form. He was well and truly forgotten and he hated it. He couldn’t believe that he’d wasted so many years on those yahoos.
He was glad he’d gotten out of there when he did and he couldn’t help thinking he should have left even sooner, but he’d been so attached to the idea that they were family. He’d clearly felt more loyalty to them than any of them felt to him. It galled him that he hadn’t realized sooner how little they cared for him.
His new job didn’t seem to be working out either, but he was sure he could find something better. This wouldn’t be the thing that would break him. If they had forgotten him, he would forget them too.
He would find a new life and his previously so called friends wouldn’t even be memories anymore. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was beyond time that he stopped dwelling on their lack of caring. He didn’t know what his life would hold now, but it was time to remake himself as someone completely new.
It was time to start over. He needed to erase the slate and start completely fresh. It was time for Tony DiNozzo to die for good. It was time for him to be reborn as Jason Bull.