Chapter Text
If there was one thing Felicity hated more than anything, it was auditioning. The process made her nauseous from start to finish and she desperately wished she could avoid the whole thing entirely. While she loved the theory behind it, exploring and interpreting a character that was nothing but words on a page and an idea in a writer’s mind, the reality was particularly odious. Standing in front of strangers and asking them to judge her and her work, to decide whether she was good enough for their project, was exhausting and typically humiliating.
Felicity had only been in Hollywood for two years but she tended to find that her auditions went one of two ways. Sometimes they were a total disaster. She would walk into a room and know straight away that she wasn’t what they were looking for. The table of people watching her would radiate negativity before she even opened her mouth. And their negativity would make her stumble and trip over her words, placing the wrong emotions in the scene and losing the energy she had spent hours cultivating. Or the other disastrous scenario that she found herself in was one where she thought she nailed the audition and was actually in with a shot. The casting director and producers would seem positive and she’d walk out of an audition feeling great. Then there’d be the call that they were going in another direction.
Rejection really wasn’t fun.
“David has decided to go with Brie,” Laurel told Felicity before she had even sat down in her office.
Laurel Lance’s reputation for bluntness and no bullshit preceded her in Hollywood. She was rapidly becoming one of the most ruthless agents in the business which was why Felicity loved her. Felicity wasn’t remotely close to a shark so she had Laurel be a shark for her. She was a loyal agent but she had also become a good friend as Felicity struggled to make a name for herself.
“What? I thought the audition went really well. Carrie was positive about my monologue and they all seemed so engaged with my version of Sally.”
“They liked the twist Brie gave the character. I’m sorry, Felicity.” Laurel paused for a moment, her apology genuine, before she barrelled on through. “But there are lots of other great scripts out there. The most important thing is we get you signed to a decent project soon. You’ve got the buzz from Sundance but buzz doesn’t last forever. We miss this opportunity and you go back to being the patient of the week on Grey’s Anatomy.”
“People loved my Grey’s episode. My Twitter was full of people telling me I made them cry.”
“Felicity,” Laurel sighed, “no one has become a star because of Twitter.”
“Actually social media has transformed the way people become famous now. The Teen Choice Awards even had categories for favourite tweeters and youtubers and stuff. Which I think is kind of ridiculous because surely anyone can make a YouTube video but that’s not the point.”
“Felicity.”
“Right. I need a leading role, that’s what you’re saying.”
“Exactly. Summer of Swallows showed the people who matter that you’re talented. But this is Hollywood. There are always new talented, pretty wannabe actresses showing up here every single day. We need to show Hollywood that you’re a star.”
“So more auditions and a healthy dose of rejection?”
“Like I said, there are lots of great scripts out there. I’ve looked through them and picked four I think are right for you. Go home and give them a read. Let me know which ones you like and we’ll go ahead on working to get you the part.”
Felicity let herself into her small Santa Monica apartment, her arms weighed down with groceries and scripts. Rufus eagerly bounded up to her as she walked through the door, pawing at her legs, desperate for attention.
“Hey boy,” she said, crouching down and carefully balancing all her belongings to scratch at his ears. “I know I’ve been a terrible owner lately but I promise we’ll go for a run tonight.” That seemed to appease him as he happily scurried away, obviously pacified by her promises.
She put her groceries away quickly and text Sara to let her know her Amazon order had arrived before settling down on the sofa with the pile of scripts and a cup of coffee. The first one was idle fluff, a romantic comedy more befitting to the likes of Queen and Heigl, which was a path she was refusing to go down. And while the second was more engaging, a popcorn flick that would either make millions or be a box office flop, she wanted something she could really sink her teeth into and that would challenge her as an actor. She never came to Hollywood to simply be eye candy.
The third one was different though. By the time Felicity managed to tear her attention away from it, three hours had passed and her roommate was leaning against the doorframe watching her.
“Having fun?”
“I didn’t hear you get back. How was the writing session?”
“We’ve found a way to keep Mark and Elise apart for a few more months so that should keep the fans hooked for a good while.” Sara was one of the writers for Rodeo Park, the newest hit on the CW, and while she frequently complained about writing teenage romance, she loved the show and seeing her words come alive on-screen. “How goes the auditioning?”
“I am drowning in scripts. Help me.”
“Any of them good?”
“I could play the tech genius sidekick to a billionaire vigilante in a new young adult franchise. Spoiler alert, they’re all secretly vampires as well as superheroes. Talk about a mash-up of popular culture.” She tossed the script over to Sara as she sat down next to her on the sofa. “Or I could be a cop who reads minds and solves crimes before they happen. Tragically the one crime I won’t be able to solve is how terrible the script is.”
“Did Laurel choose these for you?”
“Yes. I love your sister but she and I occasionally have differing ideas about what a good script is.”
“My sister would never admit it but she owns all the Bring It On sequels and still watches them religiously. She’s definitely not the queen of great taste. Are any of the scripts good?”
Felicity looked down at the script she was still holding onto, the one that had kept her gripped for hours, and flicked through a few more of the pages. Something about this one was special.
“This one…this one is good. It’s really good.” She could hear the awe in her own voice. “There’s something really great here.”
“What’s it about?”
“It’s all focused on this divorcing couple, Rebecca and Jason. It’s about how their marriage fell apart and the secrets they were keeping from each other. Rebecca has this darkness around her that’s really interesting. She changes so much throughout the script and I could play so many different sides of her in just two hours. It would be different from anything I’ve done before. It could be my big break. I want- no, I need to be a part of this.”
“I haven’t heard you this excited about a film in months. Go and call my sister.”
She smiled at Sara before picking up her phone from the coffee table and heading out onto their balcony. Sitting down at the little patio table Sara had insisted they put out there, she called Laurel, her knee jiggling up and down as she waited for her to pick up. If she missed out on this part, she’d kick herself forever.
“Felicity?”
“John Diggle’s film. I love it.”
“I thought you might. It’s the perfect project for you, Felicity.”
“I could do so much with Rebecca. The rape, the abortion, not to mention the feud with her sister. It’s incredible, Laurel.”
“I’m happy to hear you love it as much as I did. And I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear that I have an audition lined up for you on Tuesday at 10. They’re only auditioning a few actresses because this is something of a pet project for John. His wife, Lyla, wrote the script and they fought for almost five years to get it made before Plan B picked it up. They want it to be perfect.”
“Then I guess I better start brushing up for the audition.”
Felicity always worried that she came off as cold and harsh to her fellow actresses when she was at auditions. Every actor had a different attitude towards auditions. Some liked to smile and chat but others preferred to keep themselves to themselves. Felicity fell into the latter camp.
As she waited for her name to be called, she kept her earphones in, playing a Spotify playlist of mid-noughties indie songs that felt like what Rebecca would listen to, and her eyes fixed on the script. She felt like she was Rebecca. She could hear her thoughts and feel her pain and fear. Engaging with anyone else would only leave her terrified that she would lose her, that she would blink and Rebecca would vanish, leaving behind only Felicity. She could play Rebecca; she knew she could do her story justice. So she kept her head down and her mind in the zone.
“Felicity Smoak?” called the receptionist.
She stood up and stuffed her iPhone and earbuds into her bag, smiling warmly at the receptionist, “Hi.”
“Right through here.”
Felicity was led into a non-descript room set up with a long conference table and a video camera. Behind the table sat five individuals of whom Felicity only recognised two, John Diggle and his creative partner and wife, Lyla. It was a taller woman who looked to be in her mid-forties who stood up to greet her however.
“Hello, Felicity, it’s lovely to meet you. I’m Dede Gardner, one of the exec producers,” she said, shaking her hand firmly and giving her a broad smile. “I’m sure you know John and Lyla, our creative dream team. And over here we’ve got our casting director, Joseph, and another of our producers, Anne.”
“It’s lovely to meet you all,” she said, hoping they couldn’t tell how much her palms were sweating and how fast her heart was racing. Taking a deep breath, she placed her bag on the floor and moved towards the mark in the centre of the room, worn script firmly in hand.
“Whenever you’re ready to begin,” Joseph said, pressing start on the camera.
Felicity might have hated basically all of the auditioning process but this was the one part she loved. Inhabiting a character and letting them come to life was her favourite thing in the world, be it on a movie set or in a tiny room in front of strangers. Everything about her changed. She stopped being Felicity Smoak and she became someone else.
As she started her monologue, the drunken, heartbroken ramblings that were planned to open the film, she felt everything inside her shift. She slouched, worn down by her past, and drew into herself. Her voice softened and her accent took on a slight Southern twang. As she paced around in a circle, she twisted an imaginary wedding ring on her finger and began to sway her hips. Everything about her was Rebecca in that moment and the character slowly became real as she spoke her words.
By the time she was done, she knew exactly who she wanted Rebecca to be, who she could make her be.
The panel’s faces were unreadable as she stood silently on the spot wondering if they had felt the same energy she had as she performed the speech. Saying those words had felt magical and she could only hope they had sensed that too.
“Thank you,” John said, standing up and acknowledging her for the first time. His grip was warm and strong and he smiled at her as he shook her hand. “We’ll be in touch.”
“Thank you for letting me audition. It’s a really wonderful film you’ve created here.”
She picked up her bag and walked out of the building with butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She had never wanted any project as badly as she wanted this. But Hollywood was filled with rumours about who was trying out for the part. Everyone from Jennifer Lawrence to Rosamund Pike had been mentioned on the industry blogs as being interested and potentially auditioning. Laurel had said they were only auditioning a select few actresses but Felicity’s resume was easily overshadowed by someone like Lawrence. TV guest spots and one Sundance hit didn’t compare to Oscars and millions of adoring fans.
Felicity was naturally an optimist but it was at times like this that her mother’s pessimistic nature crept in. So she put the audition out of her mind. Rather than sitting around waiting for the phone to ring, she took a cab back to her apartment, laced up her trainers and put Rufus on his leash. Queuing up her Taylor Swift playlist she put her earbuds in and began to jog down the street towards the beach, Rufus bouncing along at her side. Sports had never been a part of Felicity’s life growing up – she always chose computers and books over physical activity – but California was a state of fitness and health. Sara had forced her to start running when they had begun living together and though Felicity had whined and complained for the first month, she now found it calming. It cleared her mind and shut out the rest of the world.
By the time they reached the beach, she had got herself convinced that the vigilante vampires picture wouldn’t be the end of the world. Doing something fun and well paid would be a good step forward as long the film didn’t bomb terribly. And even if it did, a decent performance would still garner her good reviews which would be a great thing for her career.
Once she felt like she couldn’t run anymore, she dropped down onto the sand and let Rufus off his lead. He automatically scampered off into the cool water and she smiled as she splashed about in the waves.
Her phone buzzed on the sand next to her and the screen showed Laurel’s name.
“Hi.”
“I want you to remember this moment, Felicity. It’s part of my job to predict how a project is going to go and which direction someone’s career is headed in. And, Felicity, this is the moment your life changes forever.”
“What are you saying?”
“John Diggle loved you. So did Lyla. They said you were perfect for the part. They adored you in Summer of Swallows and they want you to be Rebecca.”
Felicity had read about people having out of body experiences but she had never experienced one herself until this moment. She could hear Laurel’s voice in her ear but she could also see herself sitting on the sand, clutching her phone to her ear.
And then she was thrown back into her body to find her heart thumping in her chest and tears forming in her eyes.
“Are you joking?”
“I don’t joke, you know that. Congratulations.”
“I can’t believe this.” Her mind was already running a mile a minute with all the people she would have to call with the news and all the things she could do with the character.
“I’ll email you all the details and you’ll need to drop by my office in the next couple of days to sign the contract. And I’m sure John will be on the phone with you over the weekend.”
“This is so surreal. I need to call Barry and Sara and... Oh my god.”
"Just take deep breaths, Felicity. It will take a while to sink in but it will. And I'm sure Sara will arrange some kind of celebratory drinks for you tonight or tomorrow so I'll see you then."
Just before she hung up, a question popped into her head. “Wait, do you know who they’ve got for Jason?”
“I was wondering if you were going to ask about your co-star. They’ve decided to go with an interesting…unexpected choice.” Laurel sounded hesitant. Laurel was never hesitant. “The rumour is they’re going to make an offer to Oliver Queen.”