Work Text:
Cal: hey guys
Mike: what
Luke: hi Calum
Cal: excuse you mikey -_-
Mike: i'm sorry, How may i help you, my highness?
Cal: damn right you can help me
Mike: sarcasm was used Cal-culator. .-.
Luke: lol you're not getting laid tonight
Mike: shut the fuck up Puke no one asked for you to be born
Luke: -.-
Cal: he's right you're not getting laid with that attitude
Mike: i'M SORRY BABE
Ash: haha #whipped
Mike: bitCH YUO SHOULDN'T BE TALKING
Cal: oh so now you show up fuck you Ash go back to doing whatever thee fuck you were doing ok
Ash: damn calm down satan i was showering
Luke: calm down Cal the only one who could say fuck in a sentence to Ash is me and the sentence is going to be 'Fuck me' ok
Mike: lmaaaaO i'm surprised luke wasn't showering with you
Ash: aW love you've always had a way with words x
Ash: and he was going to before you texted him. i just couldn't be bothered to check my phone
Luke: <3 x
Cal: ew.
Cal: and shutup ash
Mike: ew tmi even if i asked
Cal: guYS AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE I WAS RUDELY INTERRUPTED
Ash: by your own damn attitude
Luke: XD
Mike: oh shit
Cal: you know wha
Ash: what
Luke: what
Mike: what
Ash: CALUM NO
Ash: CALUGJSLGNL
Luke: don't you fucking touch my boyfriend
Mike: yeah that's my job xD
Luke: fuck off mike
Mike: maybe I'll fuck Ashton lol
Luke: do you fucking thiNK THIS IS A JOKE?
Mike: well damn i'm sorry
Cal: ok so as I was saying
Mike:...
Luke:...
Cal: i had this idea for this new song we should write and
Luke: ... what happened to my boyfriend
Mike: dude did you kill him?
Cal:... no
Luke: then where is he?
Mike: um isn't he with you Luke
Luke: no he's not in our room CALUM
Cal: yes?
Mike: calum
Luke: calum
Luke: calUMN
Cal: fine
Cal: brb
Ash: fuck you Calum I got out
Cal: oh well you see here's the thign
Luke: babe!
Mike: what happedned?
Ash: just fuck you Calum
Cal:....
Ash: ...
Luke: babe
Ash: yes love?
Luke: what happened?
Ash: things were done
Mike: no shit but what happended
Cal:we don't talk about the events that went down today ok ash
Ash: Like i would ever want to
Mike: tell us
Mike: please
Ash: no
Cal: no
Luke: please irwie?
Luke: tell me i'm your boyfriend i have a right to know
Luke: if you love me you'll tell me
Ash: ok so Calum locked me in the girl's washroom where there were these two perverted fans who were discussing on how to get our sex tapes and this one fan started taking like nudes to send to us her name was like Acacia or soemthing?
Cal: ASHTON
Ash: but that's not the worst part the worst part was when this old lady came in a demanded to use the handicapped stall i was hiding in and she got the attention of the girls so i basically almost died
Mike: lmaoooooo That's the funniest thing i've ever read
Ash: her friend Lindsay or whatever said she wanted a bite of the Cal-zone
Mike: hahahah fuck no
Luke: ...
Cal: wha
Luke: if my boyfriend would've gotten raped...
Cal: he wouldn't of
Ash: easy for you to say
Mike: he will
Luke: ?
Ash:?
Cal: ?
Mike: by me xD
Cal:MICHAEL GORDON CLIFFORD
Luke: COME FUCKING FIGHT ME
Luke: HE'S MINE
Luke: FUCK YOU MICHAEL DICKFORD
Ash: luke you're so hot jealous
Luke: oh really?
Ash: really
Luke:...
Michael: what's wrong
Cal: oh god
Mike:what
Cal: oh God
Mike: Wut
Cal: they're fucking
Mike: oh
Cal: yeah
Mike: ...
Cal:...
Mike: wanna makeout
Cal: yeah