Chapter Text
“You look like a Jackson Pollock painting,” Miri smirked as she carried the paint trays, rollers, and brushes into the kitchen.
Taking stock of himself, Uli raised his arms and scanned the damage left by his sloppy painting and the short lived fight he’d started, and lost to her. Bright stains, from drops to smears, were spattered across both his exposed skin and his uniform. Miriam returned, pulling up the old sheet they had used as a drop cloth, as Uli inspected the stain left on his tie.
Shoving the folded bundle under her arm, Miri tugged at the tie. “I don’t think it’s coming out.”
“Me either.” He frowned at the unnecessary accessory. “Fred’s going to have a fit. He’s got a real boner about the ties.”
“I’m sure you’ll think of something. You always do.” She stretched up on her tiptoes, puckering up to kiss his cheek, then she paused. “Seriously? How the hell did you manage to get some inside your ear?”
“Just that talented, I guess.”
Taking him by the hand, she shivered at the contact, then dragged him after her. “C’mon.”
Opening the bathroom door, she stepped aside with a flourish of her hand as if to say after you.
. Following him inside, she spun him around and made quick work of his tie, a habit she had become quite practiced in as of late, and tossed the long strip of red fabric over her shoulder.
“You know— “ He tilted his head to the side, running his hands down her forearms and up her shoulders, eliciting another shiver, before leaning in close enough to touch noses. “It would be awfully wasteful to toss out a perfectly usable tie just because of a little stain. But, I know another way we could put it to good use.” Shooting a look at him through the tops of her eyes, she shoved his face away and moved down the line of tiny white buttons. “I’m only thinking of the environment, Miri.”
“Yeah, you’re a real Captain Planet.” She smirked, sliding her hands into his now open shirt. Shaking off the corresponding chill before gliding her hands over his smooth chest, she slid them up to hook around his neck. “Shower first, sex later.”
“Why not join me and we can take care of both?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Because someone has to clean up the mess you made, and wash out the brushes before they start to dry.”
“How am I going to make sure I didn’t miss any spots?”
“I’ll do a thorough inspection later, promise.” She bopped his nose. “I think you can handle the pants.”
“Fine,” he sighed dramatically as she slipped from his arms and he removed his black trousers.
Yanking back the shower curtain with a screech, Miriam pointed out the products at his disposal. “Loofah. Body wash. Shampoo. Conditioner.” Free of his pants, Uli kicked them across the floor and stepped over the ledge into the tub basin. “And, whoever installed the plumbing was an idiot because they reversed the hot and cold, so keep it in mind they are backwards if you need to adjust the temperature.” Twisting the cold handle which was actually the hot, a spray of water shot out to hit feet. “Have fun.”
Catching her wrist as she made to turn, she tensed, and Uli made a pouty face and fluttered his eyelashes.
“It’s like dating a tall child sometimes…” she sighed and closed the curtain on him.
Resigned to shower alone, he stepped into the cascade of hot water as he heard the door click shut. The water that pelted his chest was soothing, different than the night in the rain outside the storefront, when he’d mistakenly thought he was helping Valdir. The rain had been cold and bracing while this made him want to fall asleep. Dipping his head under the stream, he twisted around for the warm water to hit his back. The minute the water hit his wings, pain exploded behind his eyes, racing down his spine like white hot lightning. They had become increasingly sensitive as they had grown, but he’d never felt anything like this. Inadvertently, he shrieked, jumping to the back of the shower where the water couldn’t reach. Footsteps pounded down the hall before the door swung open and a terrified looking Miriam yanked back the curtain.
“What’s wrong?”
Paralyzed, he stood balanced on one leg, the other hiked up so high he could have kneed himself in the stomach, all scrunched up as tightly into the corner as he could go.
“It hurts.”
“What hurts?”
“The water.”
“Water hurts Angeli?”
“My wings.” He indicated in the general direction of his shoulder blades which we pushed as far against the shower wall as possible.
“Shit.” She winced in realization. “I’m sorry, Uli. I didn’t even think.” Smashing her palm down onto the diverter, the water switched from a cascade out of the shower head to gushing from the faucet. “They must be sensitive to hot and cold, like people with sensitive teeth.” Hitting the flipper for the drain to close, the basin began to fill up with water, and she turned on the hot which was actually the cold to even out the temperature from hot to warm. “You’ll just have to take a bath instead. It should be cooler now, so even if they get wet, it won’t be so painful.”
Unfurling from his protective stance, he lowered himself tentatively down into the rising water.
Offering her a weak smile, he said, “Thanks.”
Sitting on the toilet seat, she propped her elbow on her knee and leaned onto her hand, fighting the urge to laugh at him.
“What am I going to do with you?”
Leaning over the ledge, he started to shoot her that same look, and wiggled his eyebrows. Before he could even make a lewd suggestion, she mushed a finger against his lips to silence him, another shiver making her eyes roll back.
“I’ve created a monster.” Twisting the handles she shut the water off at his waist, his knees still poking out the top. “I promised later, didn’t I?”
Slumping with his hands atop his knees, he narrowed his gaze playfully. “I’m holding you to that.”
Kissing his forehead, she left again, this time leaving the door ajar to keep an ear out. Uli tapped his hands on his knees asynchronously a few times, unsure of what to do next. Looking around the tub, he remembered the bottles and strange poofy thing she had pointed out. Reaching for the shampoo, he examined the bottle, trying to untwist the cap before realizing the lid popped open. Once he got it open, he tipped it over above his hand. Nothing happened. Shaking it a little bit a few opalescent drips fell into his palm. Squeezing it much more forceful than necessary, it expelled a massive glob of way more than he needed. Holding the glob awkwardly, he put the bottle back, then mashed the glob onto his paint splattered red hair.
Working through it with both hands in rough uneven circles, he assumed he was doing it correctly. Unlike the “gooey” humans, Angeli didn’t sweat. He didn’t have to worry about things like body odor or oily residue which forced humans to bathe. But, besides the initial disaster, bathing wasn’t an altogether unpleasant experience. The shampoo made his hair slick and pliable. Messing around with it he slicked it back, then made it stick straight out, before mushing it into a mohawk down the middle of his head. Water rolled down his forehead and into his eye, resulting in another sharp bite of pain. He took back his sentiments about the pleasantness. Swiping at his eyes only worsened it, rubbing more soap into his eyes.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he spat through gritted teeth, trying to avoid another shout that would send Miri running into the bathroom.
Scrambling about, he splashed the water into his open eyes, bubbles frothing on the skin of the water. The soap laden water did nothing but exacerbate the problem. Blinking rapidly, unsure of how to make it stop, he slapped at the handles, hitting the wrong one in his temporary blindness, cranking on the hot water. Shoving his hands into the too hot water, he jumped again, resulting in another slew of curses. Correcting his mistake, he cranked on the cold and shoved handfuls of clean water into his burning eyes. Eventually, the stinging subsided, and he slumped against the side the shower wall, panting from the panic. Taking another series of slow, wide blinks to make sure he’d removed all the offending shampoo, he noticed the layer of bubbles that had formed in the water from his splashing. Swishing a hand through them created more.
By the time he had finished flailing his hands through the water, he’d accumulated a thick foam. Lifting a handful to his face, he blew on it softly, sending little tufts of the foam floating in the air. Delighted by his discovery, he scooped up enough to fill his hands and blew even harder, the foam bursting in an explosion of bubbles. Collecting another handful, he smiled as he came up with an idea. Fighting a giggle, he gingerly applied a layer to his cheeks and chin, weary of the proximity to his eyes. Splashing water out of the tub as he reached for the hand mirror on the counter, he settled back into the tub to admire his work.
“I thought you might need this to rinse…”
The hand mirror dropped into the water with a splop.
as Miriam stood in the doorway, one hand resting on the handle and a bowl in another. Uli sat frozen, staring directly at her with an innocent smile. Miriam neither commented on bubble beard or the mohawk. She simply sat the bowl on the bathtub ledge and a towel on the toilet seat, leaving without a word.
His fun ruined, Uli gave up and wiped the bubbles from his face. Reaching for the weird poofy thing on a string hanging from the faucet and the body wash, he squeezed a much smaller dollop of onto the poof, and set to scrubbing it on his skin. With the aid of the sweet smelling gel, he removed the majority of the dried paint from his skin. Turning on the water, taking heed of the correct handle this time, he dumped bowlfuls of water onto his head. He squeezed his eyes tight as the soap ran down his face to, eager to avoid another incident. His wings tingled slightly as the water poured down his back, but nothing like the intense pain from the very hot water. The majority of soap removed from his hair and body, he rose out of the tub, dripping water everywhere. Tucking the towel around his waist, he saw another hanging from a hook on the back of the door, and twisted it around his head like he had seen Miri do before.
Unlike Greta, Uli didn’t have the same enjoyment of using the bathroom, and until now, he had never had much need to spend more time here than necessary. But now, he took to poking around in drawers and cabinets, seeing what treasures he could find inside. He was confused by the little brush she kept in a cup on her counter as it was much too small for her hair. But, he enjoyed the scent of the bottle that smelled like her. Closing the cabinet, he noticed the basket of colorful little jars resting on the back of the toilet. He recognized them as the stuff that Miriam sometimes put on her fingernails. He had often admired the simple designs and shapes she lacquered onto her fingers. Eyes catching on a familiar color, he plucked out a jar of polish very close to the red of his shoelaces and now ruined tie. It gave him another great idea.
He was halfway through his second foot when Miriam came back to check on him. Turning towards her as she came in, he proudly displayed his fingers, a smile lighting up his face.
“Look!" He wiggled them. "It matches!”
Unable to contain her laughter at his antics anymore, she burst out into a full belly laugh, holding her side when she laughed so hard it hurt.
“Lovely, Uli. When they’re dry, put these on and come get something to eat.
In the same spot she had placed the towel, she left set of sweats big enough for him. Leaning in to kiss his cheek again, Uli turned to press their lips together instead, but the contact between them sent a chill down both their spines. After a deep, slow kiss, he pulled back to press their foreheads together. Tapping his cheek gently, she shook her head with a smile, and left him to finish the job.