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"Trust falls," the captain says. (Lev had missed his name, too distracted by his hair.)
He looks at his partner, the team's libero, and thinks, I'm going to crush him, and not in a good way. He's surprised when he falls back, and strong arms catch him, sure and steady. He looks up at the third years' face (Yaku Morisuke, he remembers, because he wasn't as distracted when they'd been introduced.), and the rest of the gym fades away. His focus narrows to the points of contact between them, to the face hovering above his, and his heart jumps.
I think I love you, he thinks, before the face twists in annoyance and Yaku Morisuke clicks his tongue.
"Get up, already. You're heavy."
I am so in love.
It comes to Yaku in the middle of practice, as the ball flies over the net.
Lev's eyes are locked on it, following the graceful arc it makes through the air, body poised to make his move, and Yaku finds himself thinking how goddamn beautiful Lev looks standing there poised for action.
Huh, he thinks. That's new.
The moment, though, is ruined when Lev fails to bring his arms up in time and takes the ball right to his face. He looks almost comically betrayed, hand cupped under his bleeding lip.
"I'll get the first aid kit," Yaku volunteers.
What a dumbass.
Kuroo knows. Of course, Kuroo knows. He knows everything.
("That's why his hair is so big," Kenma had said once. "It's full of secrets.")
Kuroo knows much too much, which is why, when he sidles up to Yaku with a sly grin, Yaku knows he's in for a world of trouble.
"So," he says, draping himself over Yaku's desk like it's his, "about Lev."
Kuroo definitely knows.
"I think he's ready for a practice match," Yaku says, hoping to distract him.
"Oh, definitely," Kuroo agrees. "All thanks to your special training sessions." He drags his fingers up his arm, and Yaku realizes there is no escape from this conversation. "So when are you going to ask him out?"
"Never," Yaku answers easily, because he's thought about it, a lot, and already made his decision on the matter.
"He likes you a lot."
"I'm not asking him out."
"You're going to break his heart. I don't like it when people break my first years."
"Well get over it, because it's not happening."
"You know he likes you," Kuroo says, lowering his voice and leaning in.
"I'm not asking him out," Yaku insists, leaning in as well. They're nose to nose, breath mingling, and could each count the other's eyelashes if they wanted, except this is a staredown of wills and not a romantic precursor to something more.
"Huh," Kuroo says, capturing Yaku's collar between his fingers, "This is familiar."
Yaku's only about sixty percent sure he's referring to the situation with Lev, and not their closeness.
"I'm not," Yaku repeats, "asking him out. I'm his senior, I don't want to put him in a situation where he feels like he has to say yes. If he wanted to date me, he'd ask me out."
"No he won't. He's shy."
"Yeah, right."
"Around you he is."
"No, he's not."
"He is. You just haven't noticed yet because you're too busy staring at his legs."
"I don't--"
He's interrupted by someone clearing their throat to the side, and they both look over to find one of their classmates standing there and definitely not making eye contact with them.
"There's a first year looking for you, Yaku-kun," he says, pointing at the door, where Lev is hovering and looking uncertain.
Kuroo grins and leans back. "Sorry about that, Lev! He's all yours."
"Shut up." Yaku whacks Kuroo on the forehead before standing and making his way to the door. "What do you need, Lev?"
"I just wanted to know if we could work on my receives again after practice today," Lev says, staring at Yaku's shoulder. It's a fairly impressive feat given the height difference between them. "If you're not busy, that is."
"Oh, he's definitely not busy," Kuroo calls out, and Yaku turns to glare at him before answering Lev.
"I'm free," he says, telling his heart to calm the fuck down when the sight of Lev's pleased smile makes it jump.
Yaku can't take it anymore.
It's Lev, fucking Haiba Lev, it's always Lev. Lev and his ridiculously long legs and his fast spikes and dismal blocking and lousy receives. Really, if Yaku's going to have a crush on anyone why can't it at least be someone who knows how to play volleyball properly?
He spends the next few days categorizing Lev's attributes, physical and personal, and filing them away as "understandable/acceptable thing to lust over," "okay that's a little strange but strange can be endearing," or "what is wrong with me."
Finally he accepts that there is nothing to be done about this and resigns himself to his fate. He is disgustingly sweet on Lev, and while there's nothing to be done about that there is something he can do about his sexual tension.
He catches Kuroo in the locker room, last one out of the shower because he stayed behind to talk with Nekomata-sensei after practice.
"Can we talk?" he asks, putting a hand on Kuroo's bicep and giving it a small squeeze, "Alone?"
Kuroo's eyes travel from Yaku's hand up the length of his arm to his face. "Sure," he says.
Yaku tells himself that the weight of Lev's gaze on his back means nothing as the rest of the team files out.
"So," Kuroo says, sitting on the bench, "what did you want to talk about?"
Yaku moves to straddle his lap. "Isn't it obvious?" he asks, wrapping his arms Kuroo's neck.
"I'm not interested in being a warm body, not even for you Yaku." He brings his hands up to rest on Yaku's hips, more to hold him in place than to instigate anything. "I can't be Lev."
"I don't want you to be Lev, I want you to be you. I can like Lev and still fool around with other people. Besides," he dips his head into Kuroo's space, his lips almost brushing Kuroo's with his next words, "you can't deny that we didn't have fun together, Tetsurou."
"True," Kuroo says, closing the gap between their lips.
(They almost fall off the bench because of how hard they laugh when, in the middle of giving each other hand jobs, Yaku purposefully moans Lev's name loudly, and they have to take a moment because they're both laughing too hard to continue.
It's good and it's familiar and Yaku doesn't regret it when they're done, but that doesn't change the fact that Kuroo is his past. Lev isn't necessarily his future, but he is an unknown variable, and one that Yaku would like to explore.)
She's in Lev's class, small and cute and (more importantly) extremely competent, and would totally be Lev's type if he wasn't busy pining over a certain third year libero who is apparently too busy screwing around with their captain to take notice of a gangly first year.
Her name is Sato Kaori and she sits two rows over from Lev. She likes anime (he knows because she dropped her pencil case in the hall once, and when he picked it up to return to her he saw a Love Hime sticker on it), is particularly strong at math and science, and can often be found tutoring their classmates during lunchtime.
"I have a favor to ask," she says after class,and Lev's pretty sure it has something to do with reaching something high up, because that's the sort of favor people usually ask from him.
"Okay."
"Can I practice confessing to you?"
"Sure--what?" He does a double take, wonders if maybe he's taken one too many volleyballs to the head. He's grateful for the extra time he gets to spend with Yaku practicing receives, but it's very hard to concentrate on the ball when he's around.
"There's someone I like, and I want to tell them, but I'm worried I'm going to say the wrong thing. So I thought it would be helpful to practice. But none of my friends are taking it seriously."
"You think I'm serious?" Lev has been called many things in his life, but serious is not one of them.
"I think you're a nice person who won't laugh at me when I sound like an idiot."
"That's very true," he says laughing. "I'm a very nice person."
They find a secluded corner of the school to sit in during lunch, and she runs several versions of her confession by him.
"I don't know, that one seemed kind of...long. I think it's better if it's shorter," he says after a particularly meandering one.
"Okay, how this?" Sato clears her throat and sits up a little straighter. "I really enjoy spending time with you and I like you as more than a friend. I would like to spend time with you as more than just friends."
"With a confession like that, I'd love to." Lev throws his arms around her, and is about to congratulate her on perfecting her confession, when he looks up from the hug to see Yaku.
"Yaku-san!" He pushes Sato away and jumps up. "What are you doing here?"
"Shortcut," he says, voice pitched strangely. "I left something in the clubroom."
He walks past them quickly, calling out, "See you at practice," over his shoulder as he disappears around the corner.
"So that's Yaku-senpai, huh? He's cute. I can see why you like him. Not really my type though." Sato wrinkles her nose. "I've never really cared about dating older men."
"How do you know I like him?"
She rolls her eyes. "His name's doodled all over your notebook with little hearts. It'd be cute if you were twelve."
Kuroo claps a heavy hand on Lev's shoulder as everyone leaves the clubroom.
"We need to talk. I think you know about what."
Lev freezes and his heart drops. He's got a pretty good idea what Kuroo's referring to. He's been working for months with Yaku, and his receives are still terrible. And on a team that emphasizes receiving the way Nekoma does, not being able to properly receive the ball is a deathwish.
And Lev has been trying to improve. He's pretty sure he's put more hours into working on his receives than he has his actual school work. It's just that it's hard. Not only is he behind all the other first years, all of whom had actual experience playing volleyball before entering the club, but he also keeps getting distracted despite all his best efforts not to. It's just so hard to pay attention to the ball when Yaku-san is right there, and Lev finds his focus falling more to the way the muscles of his arms flex as he receives the ball and the sound of Yaku's voice as he explains the technique and the feel of his hands on Lev's body as he corrects his form.
"I know my receives are still bad--"
Kuroo shakes his head. "I'm not talking about your receives. I'm talking about Yaku."
"Yaku?" Lev's mind scrambles to figure out exactly what Kuroo could mean. Could he be talking about Lev's crush on him? But no, why would he pull Lev aside after volleyball practice to talk about something like that?
Then he has to be talking about the futility of all the extra hours Yaku has put in training Lev.
"Yeah, Yaku. Look, he doesn't want to say anything because he doesn't want to make things awkward, but we both know you feel the same way."
Lev's heart sinks. He hadn't realized that Yaku was getting fed up with him. He's not surprised, but still...he had hoped that Yaku had meant it every time he said he didn't mind helping him.
"I'll be better," he promises Kuroo. "I'll talk to Yaku-san tomorrow, first thing in the morning, and let him know."
Kuroo smiles. "Thank you. You two have been driving the whole team crazy. Let me know how the date goes, and just between you and me, you might want to skip out on flowers, Yaku's allergic to most of them."
He claps Lev on the shoulder again on his way out. "Hey, good luck. See you tomorrow."
He winks at Lev before disappearing around the corner, leaving Lev completely bewildered.
What had just happened?
Lev doesn't get much sleep that night. He spends most of it staring up at the ceiling trying to figure out what Kuroo was talking about and attempting not to panic. When he thought they were talking about volleyball, it was a simple thing to promise to apologize to Yaku for wasting his time. But replaying the conversation in his head, he's since realized he was very, very wrong.
And now he's promised to confess to Yaku. First thing in the morning. He wonders if it's too late to learn Russian and move out of the country.
When morning rolls around, Lev drags himself out of bed. He's never been prone to nerves, and he wouldn't exactly call what he's feeling nervousness, more like impending doom. He's pretty sure he's going to walk up to Yaku today, confess, and then spend the rest of the school year avoiding him. That means no more volleyball. Maybe even no more school.
He wonders, briefly, if he could convince his parents he's sick so that he can stay home and research high schools in Russia. But he's never been very good about lying, especially not to his mother who seems to have a built-in bullshit detector, so he makes his way to school with the air of a convicted man making his way to the gallows.
He's the last one to get to morning practice, and everyone else is already stretching when he gets there, including Yaku.
It has to be now, he realizes. It has to be now or I'll never do it.
"Yaku-san, can I speak to you?"
Yaku looks up from where he's stretching on the floor, and Lev's stomach leaps up into his throat. There is no way this is going to end well.
"Alone," he adds, because he can't imagine confessing in front of the entire team.
"Sure."
Yaku stands, with more grace and purpose than Lev will ever have. It was in a moment of stillness that Lev first fell for Yaku, but it's the way he moves that sealed his feelings for him. He leads the way out of the gym, Lev following close on his heels and relishing this last moment of normalcy. The door slams shut behind them and Lev takes a deep breath.
"Kuroo talked to me yesterday," he says quickly, before Yaku's had a chance to turn around. "About you. And that you didn't want to say anything, but he said I should talk to you--"
Yaku whirls around. "Are you shitting me?"
Lev had expected Yaku to be angry, but he hadn't quite expected this violent of a reaction so soon.
"Um...no?"
"That meddling--I told him not to say anything." Yaku kicks at the ground savagely. "I'm going to kill him." He lets out a huff of breath and closes his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself down. "Look, Lev, this doesn't have to change anything--"
Lev's heart sinks. "It doesn't?"
"No--"
"Oh."
They stand there, quiet and awkward and avoiding each other's gaze for a few moments, neither sure of how to really end the conversation.
"Please don't kill Kuroo," Lev finally says, miserably. "It's not his fault I like you. He was just trying to help."
Yaku shakes his head. "Of course it's his fault. If he hadn't told you I liked you then--wait, what?"
"What?"
Lev stares at Yaku, who stares back looking just as shocked as Lev feels.
"Yaku-san, could you repeat that?" Lev asks slowly.
Yaku frowns, brow furrowed. "I like you," he says. "Isn't that what Kuroo told you?"
"No," Lev says. "He told me I should ask you out. He didn't say anything about you...liking me."
"Oh."
There's a faint blush across Yaku's cheeks, and he looks vaguely bewildered. Lev thinks back to their past interactions, suddenly painting everything in a different light.
"Yaku-san!" he shouts out, unable to hold himself back any longer. "Please go on a date with me!"
He bows, then blushes immediately, realizing that it's not the thing to do in this situation.
"I really like you," he says a little more quietly as he straightens. "And I'd really like to go out with you."
Yaku blushes even more, and for a brief moment Lev thinks he's going to get yelled at, and then Yaku looks away and smiles.
"Okay, sure," he says quietly.
Lev sags in relief. "Thank you," he says earnestly.
"Don't thank me yet, we haven't done anything," Yaku says. "Come on, let's get back to practice."
He steps past Lev, reaching out to squeeze his hand briefly, before opening the gym door. Kuroo winks at them as the two of them pass him, and Yaku flips him off, Lev trotting close behind on his heels.