Work Text:
“Haaa…”
All he could do for now was sighing several times while staring at a blank canvas, with a clean palette and brush in his hands. Aoyagi had been in a slump for four days after their professor announced the submission date for a major plate. They were given the chance to choose any theme and subject, as long as the things they have learned would show in their paintings.
Aoyagi had always been one of the students that professors absolutely love. But because of that, they were always expecting more from him, pressuring Aoyagi at best.
Since he couldn’t bear doing nothing but sigh and hopelessly think, Aoyagi decided to drop by the bookstore and hopefully, find something that might catch his interest.
Books after books, from painting techniques to photobooks and yet Aoyagi failed to find inspiration or subject. He was getting irritated at himself, confused even why he was even in a slump to begin with. Four days were the longest time he hadn’t been able to paint because of lack of inspiration.
In the end, he decided to go home and sleep. However, when he passed by the manga section he saw a boy with black, curly hair wearing a similar uniform – his college uniform. The boy was attending the same college as him! But since he wasn’t familiar with him even an ounce, Aoyagi figured the boy was probably in a different department.
He couldn’t see the boy’s pretty well since it his curly locks were in the way. Intrigued, he silently observed and watched the boy. The boy suddenly tucked his hair at the back of his ear and that was when Aoyagi finally had a glimpse of the boy’s face.
For some reason, Aoyagi felt a sudden surge of mixed feelings.
He’s pretty, Aoyagi thought and immediately realized what he just thought. He felt his cheeks went warmer. He inched away silently so as not to disturb the curly-haired boy.
While browsing a few more manga, the boy smiled. And Aoyagi was somewhat smitten with it. He couldn’t quite understand it himself, but it was close to the feeling when you’re totally satisfied with your painting.
Okay, Aoyagi thought, feeling determined. Determined to ask the boy to model for him.
The boy placed back a manga and fixed his things.
Eh? He’s leaving? Aoyagi panicked.
The boy was headed out of the isle and Aoyagi immediately hid behind the shelves. He watched the boy leave until he finally left the bookstore.
Aoyagi lost his chance to ask the boy, much to his dismay.
He was always the silent, shy type that seldom talks to others, and he always had problems socializing. That fact had been one of the greatest hurdles in trying to ask someone to model for him.
Ultimately, he went home empty-handed but until he fell into slumber, the curly-haired boy’s image was still in his mind.
Luck was in Aoyagi’s side as morning the next day he saw the curly-haired boy passing through the college gates. He panicked inside and didn’t know what to do until someone called the boy.
“Teshima!”
Teshima? Aoyagi asked in his mind.
“Morning,” Teshima greeted his classmate with a grin and once again, Aoyagi couldn’t help but be enamoured by it.
“Were you able to finish our assignment?” Teshima’s classmate asked.
“Of course I did!” Teshima cheerfully answered.
“That’s cheating, dude!”
Before he knew it, Aoyagi was following them. He felt embarrassed by his actions but there was no turning back.
Teshima and his classmate turned right in the intersection and Aoyagi stopped for awhile to observe them where will they head.
Finally, the two of them went inside a building.
Engineering building? Aoyagi thought and he felt impressed. He quickly assumed Teshima was a smart guy.
During class, Aoyagi was sketching a lot, even on breaks. He was sketching detailed headshots of Teshima. Before he realized it how much he was sketching, three whole pages were occupied solely with headshot sketches of Teshima. He was greatly embarrassed and quickly stuffed his notebook in his back. His cheeks were warmer than before and his heart raced.
He was confused what he was feeling ever since he saw Teshima and it brought him sleepless nights.
The following days, Aoyagi kept observing Teshima like some stalker. He kept sketching from headshots to waist-ups, and soon, full-body sketches dominated his notebooks. Aoyagi used three full notebooks filled with only Teshima, and nothing but Teshima.
It went on and on, and Aoyagi felt very happy every time he sees Teshima smile.
There were only a week left before submission and after filling up two more notebooks, he was finally going to paint.
He prepared a canvas half-size of his height, his oil paints and brushes, tied his apron and inhaled. He closed for his eyes for a bit and envisioned the overall look of his painting. Aoyagi then stared at his blank canvas, picturing Teshima’s face. He lifted his hand holding a finely sharpened pencil and started sketching.
He was sketching for minutes and for some reason, he was feeling an adrenaline rush. An immense amount of happiness was surging through him. He was thrilled and slowly, he began laughing.
“Hajime?” Aoyagi’s mother called him with a series of knocks but the painter was too immersed painting that he didn’t reply. His mother knew how painting takes up his time.
“Be sure to take a break and eat your dinner okay?” His mother reminded and left.
Aoyagi had started painting, starting from the skin. Neutral colors graced Teshima’s skin, with soft touches of yellow. He was being meticulous in painting, in adding details. He wanted his painting to be of perfection.
In the end, he kept working, forgetting to eat his dinner.
Days passed and there were only two days left before submission. Aoyagi’s classmates had been talking about how they wouldn’t make it while he doesn’t actually care even a bit about them.
“Aoyagi!” a classmate called. “What’s your painting’s status?”
Aoyagi just nodded with his eyes averted. His classmates were already used to it so it wasn’t a big deal.
“Everything’s going well, I suppose,” said his classmate. “I’m feeling envious. An excellent painter like you probably had no troubles finding inspiration. Well, whatever the circumstances are, you’ll probably paint something impressive anyway.”
It was something Aoyagi had always felt whenever someone compliments him and make it sound like he was a painting genius. Aoyagi just took it out of courtesy and left the school to finish his painting.
On his way home, he saw Teshima walking alone with his hair tied up. It was the first time he saw Teshima with his hair done like that.
He’s really pretty, Aoyagi thought once again. He stared at Teshima’s back for awhile, like a maiden in love. When someone bumped him, he finally went back to reality and headed home.
Final night of working on his painting, Aoyagi was adding the finishing details.
At 5:47am, he was finally done. He dropped his palette and brush, sat on his stool, breathing heavily, wiped his sweat, and stared at his final piece. For the few remaining minutes before morning, he was just staring at his painting.
6:00am, the sun appeared and its rays shone on his painting.
His painting where Teshima was smiling at him.
At that moment, his tears fell.
A week after submission, Aoyagi didn’t get the highest mark but his piece was chosen to be part of an exhibit opening two days from now.
On his way home, he dropped by the bookstore not to buy or check some books, but to see if Teshima was in since he didn’t see him in the campus. He quietly sauntered through the manga section and there he saw the familiar curly head.
It was Teshima alright.
Aoyagi’s cheeks went warmer and his heart began racing. He told himself to settle down by patting his chest a few times until-
“Uhm… excuse me?”
Aoyagi jumped when Teshima actually talked to me. They both stared at each other with surprised, widened eyes.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you-”
Aoyagi quickly shook his head and it relieved Teshima somehow.
“Oh, good,” Teshima said. “So uhm, did you want to look something in this isle?”
Aoyagi didn’t reply but he was fidgeting a lot. It was also getting awkward between them. Aoyagi wasn’t prepared at all!
“If there’s something, I can help you find it-”
Aoyagi shook his head again which threw Teshima into confusion. The curly head boy scratched his head and returned the book he was holding.
H-He’s leaving! Aoyagi was panicking yet he still didn’t move.
“It’s pretty easy to find things here,” Teshima called. “but if you still can’t find what you’re looking for, you can always ask for assistance.”
Teshima was in front of him, talking to him with a grin. He saw it up close and Aoyagi couldn’t help but admire it.
“Ah! Our uniforms are the same.” Teshima pointed.
Aoyagi nodded shyly.
“I guess we’ll see each other at university often,” Teshima cheerily noted. “I gotta leave. See ya!”
Until Teshima left Aoyagi was standing still, frozen. He squeezed his uniform and trembled. He was feeling really, really happy, so happy he thought he’ll definitely die.
Exhibit opening and every visitor was raging to see the masterpieces displayed. A variety of paintings were featured but what caught the students’ eyes was a painting of a raven-haired boy with a smile that made everyone caught in a spellbound.
That included Teshima, who was surprised to see his face displayed.
“Oi Teshima! We didn’t know you modelled!” one of his classmates teased.
“You look holy here!” Another commented.
Teshima just kept staring, and the visitors stared at him, mumbling some things accompanied with chuckles.
“The painter is… Aoyagi… Hajime?”
“I know him! He’s pretty known in the art department. Professors say he’s really talented,” said Teshima’s classmates.
“What does he look like?” Teshima asked, intrigued when a small group of art students came into the area.
“Aoyagi! Look, your painting’s harbouring all the guests’ attention!” Aoyagi’s classmate dragged him and him and Teshima met.
“Ao…yagi?” Teshima mumbled.
“Y-Yes?” Aoyagi uttered out of surprise.
The two went outside of the exhibit hall and walked a few meters away from the building. The atmosphere was awkward and Aoyagi was worried if Teshima was angry.
“So Aoyagi Hajime, right?” Teshima asked.
Aoyagi immediately nodded and Teshima held out his hand. He shook it shyly.
“Teshima Junta.” Teshima introduced. “I didn’t think we’d meet like this.”
Aoyagi’s face turned a bit pink and shyly looked away. He was prepared for the worst, for awhile now at least.
“So uhm… this is awkward but I’ll cut the chase. Since when?” Teshima asked, his tone turned from friendly to serious. “I mean, I assume you’ve known me before we met at the bookstore?”
Aoyagi gently bobbed his head. He was feeling really uncomfortable that he was just staring at his feet.
“Okay I’m not exactly mad but I’m just wondering why didn’t you approach me all this time?”
Aoyagi stayed silent. He was close to breaking down. He felt like fainting, or more like dying.
“Hmmm… ugh, why me, if may I ask?” Teshima changed the question.
Aoyagi still didn’t answer. He actually hates himself for being such an introvert. He was worrying Teshima might already be irritated that all he could do was fidget.
“S…” Aoyagi mumbled. “S-Smile.”
“Smile?”
Aoyagi nodded. “Your smile… is beautiful.”
Teshima was surprised and his face turned red. When Aoyagi took a glance, Teshima’s hand was covering his mouth.
“I’m sorry- I’m just… “ Teshima uttered and look away.
It was another first for Aoyagi, seeing Teshima being embarrassed.
“P-Pretty,” Aoyagi said out of thought. Mysteriously, Aoyagi no longer felt awkward.
“W-What?” Teshima asked, his face still red.
“You look, pretty.” Aoyagi commented with a straight face.
Teshima’s redness went up to his ears and he fell on his knees.
“Eh?!” Aoyagi was shocked and began panicking. “A-Are you o-okay…?”
“I’m sorry…” Teshima apologized, already covering his face. “But that’s the first time some called me pretty so I’m kinda embarrassed.”
Aoyagi’s eyes sparkled for some reason and again out of thought, “C-Cute.”
“S-Stop!” Teshima cried. “D-Don’t call me that.”
“C-Cute…” Aoyagi continued to mumble and Teshima could no longer look at Aoyagi’s face out of extreme shame.
Their conversation went on just like that. Aoyagi felt blessed more than ever.
And that was the start of their friendship.
Aoyagi and Teshima’s friendship grew over the times they spent together in college despite being in different departments. They’d often eat lunch together, and Aoyagi would sneak in some sketching. Teshima would sometimes try drawing but he had just no talent in it.
They’d spend their weekends together even, visiting bookstores, playing games, and staying overnight at each other’s homes. They were almost inseparable. Even after they go home, they’d text each other.
They were like that until they reached their final year at college.
“Your hair sure has gotten longer, Hajime,” Teshima said, touching Aoyagi’s long, blond hair. “Not cutting it?”
Aoyagi gently shook his head. He was sketching some cats while Teshima was just watching him.
“Your hair is really soft and beautiful,” Teshima commented which made Aoyagi blush. “It always sparkle under the sun.”
Aoyagi held out a hand, gesturing Teshima to stop. His face was really red.
“Sorry, sorry,” Teshima quickly apologized. “But I meant what I said.”
That didn’t help Aoyagi at all. It only made his heart pump faster.
Graduation day. Time does fly fast and it was already time to leave college and dive into the real world. After the ceremony Teshima went looking for Aoyagi but there was no way he could find in the sea of graduates. He decided to check the art studio…
Aoyagi was surrounded with countless pieces painted by passionate studios. At the far end of the room he saw a work on an easel covered by a white piece of cloth. He approached it and gently removed the cloth. A smiling Teshima greeted him.
Every time he sees his work, an amount of mixed feelings would stir up inside him. But at the back of his mind he already knew what he was feeling, why he was feeling that way.
He gently touched the canvas, as if he was touching Teshima’s face. Bit by bit his face was bordering on the painting. Out of the blue, he kissed it.
He kissed it, yet he quickly inched away after doing so. That was the time he realized Teshima’s existence in the room. Both of them stared at each other in astonishment, like how the first time their eyes met at the bookstore.
Aoyagi’s face turned red up to the ears and began to panic.
“This…!” He uttered, fidgeting. “I… that’s not… it’s…”
“Hajime.” Teshima called, closing his distance to Aoyagi.
“J-Junta, i-it’s not what…” Aoyagi began tearing up. He was looking again at the ground, embarrassed with his action that he couldn’t look at Teshima straight.
“Hajime.” Teshima called again.
“N-No, i-it’s not-!”
“Hajime!” Teshima clasped Aoyagi’s head in his hands and looked straight in the panicking blond’s eyes. Then, his lips formed an upward curve.
“It’s fine.” He said tenderly.
Magically Aoyagi’s trembling stopped, his heart calmer, his mind clearer.
Before he knew it, Teshima gave him a kiss.
“Ah-” Aoyagi was confused and Teshima gave him a hug.
“J-Junta?”
“Silly.” Teshima noted.
“S-Sorry-”
“I mean, I’m silly,” Teshima said, much to Aoyagi’s surprise. “I got jealous with a painting version of me.”
“Eh?”
“He got your kiss.”
Teshima’s face was red, as red as Aoyagi’s, yet he didn’t look away. Not this time.
“I’m angry.”
“I’m sorry!” Although Aoyagi still wasn’t sure why Teshima’s angry.
“3D’s better right?” Teshima said and gave Aoyagi another kiss, a quick one. Aoyagi was still surprised and he quickly looked away. But Teshima held him in place, so he gave Aoyagi another quick kiss, and another one, and again, and again.
“J-Junta!” Aoyagi pushed. His eyes were shut with tears about to fall down.
“Hajime,” Teshima called, his lips near Aoyagi’s ear. “So, 3D’s better right?”
Without much thought, Aoyagi hugged Teshima back and sobbed. Teshima chuckled and hugged the blond tighter. They stood like that, not saying a thing, not moving.
“Feeling better?” Teshima asked, brushing the blond’s hair. He felt Aoyagi nodded.
“Junta…”
“Hm?”
Aoyagi sniffed. He tried looking at Teshima’s face but can’t, so instead he shut his eyes close. “I… I…”
“Hm?” Teshima wiped Aoyagi’s tears.
“I love Junta,” Aoyagi confessed. “I love you.”
Again, Teshima gave Aoyagi a kiss, a very gentle one. It lasted for a few seconds.
“I love you, too.”
They stared at each other’s eyes, held each other’s hands, shared another kiss and laughed.
It wasn’t what Aoyagi expected, but maybe he had fallen in love with Teshima the very first time he saw his smile. And that smile gave him inspiration.
An inspiration that bridged his feelings towards Teshima.
Fin.