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"Louis!"
The smaller man looked up, just in time for a snowball hitting him right in the forehead.
"The hell... Harry!"
As he wiped out the remains of ice from his face, he saw through his wet fringe that the man in front of him was laughing. So much, that he was actually doubled over, gripping his stomach. A tiny smile swept over Louis' face, even though revenge was coming, and served cold.
"You asshole!" Was all the warning Harry received before a snowball landed hard in his hair. Harry stood straight fast, suddenly very cold as some ice fell down his back, and looked back at Louis with shock. When Louis began to laugh, Harry's face mirrored.
Harry walked slowly, "Oh it's on," he warned, but was actually kind of cute with his hair all white and still giggling, Louis though.
"Oh is it, now?" Louis said back with raised eyebrows, barely containing his own laughs to speak.
Harry suddenly leaped at the blue-eyed boy, who yelped in surprise but was still smiling. They fell in the snow and sunk a few inches down. Harry stradled Louis, who couldn't stop laughing because how many lives did he save to deserve this man?
Harry began by taking snow from the sides of Louis' head and burying his chest in it. Louis struggled, but there was no stopping Harry and his freaking smirk now.
Harry began to pour snow on Louis' hair, and that was enough, "Oh no no, not the hair you little..." Louis grunted and fought harder. Harry was taken by surprise and he tipped to the side. Louis seized the opportunity and proceeded to stradle the other boy, pinning his hands down by the sides of his head.
They were both panting, but Louis managed a little "I win," over their rasped breaths. Harry rolled his eyes, but before he could answer, Louis cupped the sides of his face and kissed him softly.
Harry's surprise lasted mere milliseconds before he tangled his fingers in Louis' hair and returned the kiss. Both were smiling lightly and blushing from the cold—or maybe each other's company—but it was perfect.
·
Back in the cabin, when the sun had finally come down, both boys took off their snow-filled coats and boots and left them in the porch. Their breaths were still hard as they walked to the kitchen in their sweaters, pants, and socks.
"Marshmallows?" Was all Harry had to ask. Louis nodded and announced that he would be upstairs. Louis really wanted to try something tonight and he only had that much time to get things ready.
A few minutes later, Harry was carrying two steaming mugs of chocolate, one with marshmallows and one with foam, upstairs to their room.
Harry went up the stairs carefully, watching the liquid on both mugs so that it didn't sway too much and burn his hands or drop on the carpet. He had lost count on how many times that had happened in his life, and the day was going amazing so far for something like that to happen right now.
Harry felt a cough coming. He quickly put he cups on a step and covered his mouth to cough.
He felt sick. Maybe the snow fight wasn't a good idea after all... He could take some pills later before going to sleep. He sniffed and picked up the chocolates again.
When Harry went in his and Louis' room, he placed both mugs above their drawer, but Louis wasn't there.
"Lou?" He said, and noticed that the bathroom light was on, and he could hear water running.
Harry went up to the door, "Are you taking a bath?" he asked, but the door was ajar and when he pushed it, it opened completely to reveal a naked Louis inside a bathtub full of water, and a couple of candles in a corner.
"Oh, Harry! Come join us in our waterpark!" Louis chimed and extended his arms to demonstrate the full bathtub. Harry couldn't help but smile until his eyes squinted so much he could barely see. My Louis... he thought.
"Hold on," Harry said, going back for the chocolate mugs and coming back with one in each hand. He put them down first and stripped while Louis watched with a smug grin. He stepped inside the tub slowly. The water was hot, and there was already a lot of soap foam, so he couldn't see below the water's surface.
He lowered himself until his butt touched the floor, and the water reached just below his clavicle. Yes, the cabin had a damn big tub, and the thing also had a huge tap. It could get filled in less than two minutes.
Louis actually clapped like an excited kid when Harry retrieved the mugs and handed the one with marshmallows to Louis.
Louis moaned as he smelled it, "Oh it smells so good..." He said and sipped it slowly. After swallowing, he moaned even louder.
Harry giggled. His chocolate wasn't that good anyway... At least he thought. But Louis seemed to adore it. He sipped his own slowly, "You're gonna get a tongue burn, Tomlinson."
Louis of course ignored him and was finished with his in a minute, "Ahh..." He placed his hand above his stomach.
Harry eyed him with a grin.
"You know..." Louis began as he crawled closer to Harry, "I think I might love your chocolate more than I love you..."
Harry raised an eyebrow and lowered his mug from his lips, "Really?" He said with a ragged voice and two octaves down. Harry wouldn't say it but he knew that this voice turned Louis on. Louis wouldn't admit it but fuck yeah it did.
"Mhm," Louis decided to say, since he couldn't trust his voice now for it not to break from lust. Louis swallowed hard, "I am oficially breaking up our engagement and letting you know that I'm marrying a cup of hot chocolate," Louis finished, kneeling in front of Harry.
"Alright. But who do you think will make you the chocolate, genious?" Harry retorted with his sex voice, and okay maybe Louis just came a little bit.
To hide it, "Turn around," Louis said. When Harry raised an eyebrow, Louis answered with, "I'm going to wash that knot of yours. It looks like a raccoon."
"Does not," Harry pouted, but obeyed and kneeled with his back to Louis. Louis popped open the shampoo and began working his fingers in Harry's scalp. It earned him a moan, and Louis' dick twitched. Two could play this game...
"Y'know..." Louis said and slowed his hands' movements while he lowered his voice tone, "I like chocolate more, first, because it's hot..." Louis hissed the last word, and pressed his chest against Harry's back while he said it.
Harry grabbed his cup and finished his chocolate, as if Louis' words had no effect. Okay then... Louis had to step up his game.
"Second..." Louis massaged harder, which earned him another longer moan, and then began to wash away the foam in Harry's hair, "It smells fucking amazing..." He leaned in and nuzzled the side of Harry's neck, lingering his lips over the skin. Harry shuddered.
"And..." Louis finished with Harry's hair and placed his finger below Harry's chin, making him turn to look back at him, "It tastes even better."
Harry almost whined and let go, turning around to kiss Louis properly. Louis was startled but he leant back and Harry followed desperately.
One hand went to grip Harry's wet hair, and the other went to his back. They kissed passionately, lips loud and tongues darting back and forth.
Louis' brain actually functioned for a second, and he pulled back to speak, "But the best part..." He said into Harry's skin, leaving a trail of kisses and licks on the green-eyed boy's neck and shoulders.
"Are the marshmallows," Louis growled and gripped Harry's buttcheeks tightly, to emphasize. This pulled their hips together, dicks grazing, and both men moaned loud at that.
Harry sat down properly over Louis' lap and began to grind their hips together, cocks rubbing against each other and their torsos. Both of them were moaning and whining loudly, wanting more but at the same time not wanting to stop.
Harry slowed down first, "You..." Another choked groan interrupted him, "You said this was a waterpark... But there's only one thing in here that I wanna ride," and there it was, the sex voice again. Louis' dick hurt from being so hard.
"That's why I said 'waterpark' in the first place, Styles," Louis smirked.
Harry couldn't help the small giggle that escaped his lips.
·
The soft chirp of birds and the light warmth coming from the wall-length windows were the first things that Louis registered when he woke up. At first, he thought he was still dreaming. He opened his eyes slow, letting them take their time to adjust to the light.
Tangled in white, puffy sheets, both naked, Louis realized he wasn't dreaming. Last night had been very real, he thought and chuckled.
He turned his head to the left, and there Harry was, with his back to him and covers thrown away from his slender body. He was so beautiful. Louis didn't want to ruin his sleep. Harry deserved everything, the best, the freaking universe, but he had chosen Louis instead. And all Louis wanted to do was give him as much from the universe back as he could.
He stood up from his side of the bed, not glancing back. He dressed up quickly, ignoring the need for a bath and the mess of discarded clothes laying on the floor, and went downstairs.
Scratching his head and yawning, he opened the fridge doors. Empty, except for a bottle of ketchup and a half-filled carton of orange juice. Louis sighed. Maybe he could go to the store and cook something nice before Harry woke up.
Yes... Of course he could, he was Louis fucking Tomlinson. That was a good idea.
He snatched his coat, boots, and car keys and headed out. The morning was windy, but not too cold, thank the Heavens.
Louis started the car and headed out into town. It was still early, enough for the sun to be just above the tree line.
Louis turned on the radio. Car rides were too quiet without good music.
He searched around the stations, looking for something nice to accompany him, when he stumbled upon The Civil Wars. Louis smiled to himself; Joy Williams was simply brilliant.
...say that it's over, oh no, say it ain't so.
Louis' grin widened. He loved Eavesdrop. He was alone so what the hell... His mouth opened and he took a deep breath, ready for the chorus.
"LET'S LET THE STARS WATCH, LET THEM STARE," Louis sang at the top of his lungs because he wanted to and he fucking could.
Let the wind eavesdrop...
"...I DON'T CARE!"
Lets just say the radio could hardly be listened to with Louis' voice in the foreground.
The song ended, and a Litost and a Hey Jude later, he arrived at the supermarket.
He wanted something really nice for Harry today. He didn't know why, but he had this weird feeling about this day, like very good things were going to happen. Also, last night had been incredible... Yes, he was in a very good mood.
He bought green tea—Harry's favorite—, some eggs, tomatoes, and okay maybe a banana or two...
When he payed for everything and was heading out, he saw a small flower stand. Louis thought about it.
Nah... That was way too cheesy, even for him. Harry would never let him live it down.
But...
Ah, fuck it. He was gonna get a bouquet for Harry. What was Harry going to do about it? Kiss him senseless? Fuck him senseless? Those were both good things. Besides, Louis was a gentleman.
Yeah right... He thought to himself and chuckled alone like an idiot in the middle of the street.
No, but seriously. Harry deserved only the best.
So yeah he was gonna buy some goddamn flowers.
"Good morning, sir," said the redhead girl behind the counter. She had big brown eyes and freckles. She would be cute, if Louis swinged that way.
"Mornin'," Louis smiled back, "I'd like a bouquet for my boyfriend."
"Sure!" She chirped, and didn't sound surprised. Louis wasn't sure if he felt offended or relieved. Ignoring it seemed like a good option.
"Is it a special occasion or you just want to surprise him?"
"Um, just surprise him," Louis answered. He then remembered how Harry always has something nice to say about the color of his eyes.
"They're like the sky..." Harry mumbled with a loppy grin, and sparkling eyes.
How it complemented his smile or some sappy bullshit.
Louis blushed and giggled, "Stop it! You're making me red."
Harry hummed, "Good."
This brought a smile to his face.
"I love them," Harry whispered finally. Louis was breathless, looking back at those bright green eyes that reflected every emotion like clear water, "I love you."
"If you could find something with green and blue that'd be amazing," Louis added after a short pause.
She thought for a moment, before disappearing behind a shelving full of cactuses and winter-blooming flowers, "I think I have what you're looking for..." Louis heard her rummage around behind it.
She came back a minute later with a beautiful little bouquet, with white and light blue flowers, small but many, and light green leafs making a bed for them.
"Here it is! I did it last week but kept it in fresh water, I hope you don't mind," she said with an almost sheepish air.
She had to be joking. It was amazing.
"Are you kidding me? This is gorgeous. He's gonna love it," Louis smiled without knowing he was doing so, and took the bouquet in his hands.
The leafs surrounded a few racemes of small white flowers, which the girl called 'white forsythia', dotted with some 'squills' and 'glory of the snow'. It was simple, but it was just right.
Thanking the girl and paying for the bouquet, Louis headed back to his car with a big smile. Harry was gonna be so happy.
The groceries went to the trunk, but the flowers were carefully placed in the passenger seat.
A couple of burnt-out indie songs later, Louis pulled over in the cabin's drive through. He took the groceries in first, and went back for the bouquet last.
He left his coat and boots in the porch, not wanting to get the house full of dirty snow or to make too much noise with his shoes.
"Harry?" He called to the stairs, loud enough to be heard if Harry was awake, but soft enough to not wake him up if he wasn't.
No response.
Good. He had time.
He took out the groceries and left the ones he needed in the kitchen counter. He had become a decent cook over the years, thanks to Harry's tutoring in the area. Now, he could at least survive without burning down the kitchen.
He wanted to cook eggs benedict, but he wasn't very experienced in that area. Instead, he settled with a much more simple omelette, with ham, tomato and some spices. He added some toast with strawberry jelly—Harry loved that one—, a banana—because how could he leave that out—, and a cup of nice and warm green tea.
He then put everything carefully in a tray. When he was happy with his placement results, he added the bouquet above everything, laying softly as asleep at the top of the tray.
Louis went up the stairs carefully, not to drop something or mess this up. He tiptoed to their room, and saw Harry in the same position he had left him in. Wrapped in himself, with a peacefull face and uncovered from his hips up.
Placing the tray in the night stand next to Harry's head, and careful not to make too much noise with it, he sat down on the edge of the bed. It dipped a bit, and Harry's arm moved from its position by this.
"Love, wake up. I made you breakfast," Louis said softly, and went to run his hands on Harry's hair.
Harry stayed still, almost limp.
"Come on Harry, wake up," he said, a little louder this time. He bent down to kiss his forehead.
Louis frowned. Harry was very cold.
"Harry? Love, are you sick?" Louis began to shake Harry's shoulder. Harry didn't even make a sound.
"Harry? Wake up."
Louis was scared now. Why was he so cold?
A sudden and bone-chilling thought crossed Louis' mind. His lungs began to feel tight.
Hands shaking, Louis placed his fingers in Harry's neck, cheking for a pulse.
He found none.
This was a sick joke. It had to be some kind of twisted nightmare. He checked again, and again, desperate, wake up wake up wake up.
"Harry!" He leaned in to Harry's chest to listen to his heart. The one thing that Louis had ever wanted, what Harry promised would always be his, was now quiet, unbeating.
No, oh fuck no, stop Harry please, wake up, please...
He couldn't process anything. His hand moved to his pocket somehow, and in what felt like seconds, a static voice in his ear began to say, "9-1-1, what's your emergency?"
Louis lost the ability to speak; he just couldn't. He felt daggers in his throat. Suddenly he couldn't see, couldn't breathe...
"He's..." No... Harry couldn't be... He wouldn't say it, "He's... Not waking up," Louis choked out before dropping the phone and landing himself on his knees in front of Harry.
"Harry..." Louis' lips curled and his eyes shut, pushing hot tears down his cheeks.
He grabbed at Harry's tuft hair, his freezing shoulders, his beautiful face, "No please don't... Love, wake up, please..." Louis managed among broken sobs.
Louis noticed a dark spot in Harry's chest right then. His hand had been covering it, almost clawing at it. Louis moved Harry's hand, and took a look at the awfully big mark in Harry's torso, dark red and purple, almost black. What...
This was bad. Very bad. Harry had been just fine mere hours ago. But now... He wasn't... Breathing...
It dawned on him all at once; Harry was gone.
And he wasn't coming back.
But he had to.
"Please, Harry don't—" Louis pressed his warm forehead against Harry's cold one, getting no reaction from the younger boy. Oh God, please, let me see those eyes one more time...
Harry didn't move.
·
It was sunny.
Warm light reflected over the dew drops over the grass, glinting under the sun's stare. There was a swarm of butterflies over by the willow trees that surrounded the cementery, floating around like fairies in the wind. The high pitched chirping of birds could be heard from somewhere to the left, completing the atmosphere of a place in which you should come to "rest in peace".
What a fucking nightmare.
Louis looked back down at the tombstone in front of him, knowing that a few feet under lay the rotting corpse of what used to be his fiancé, his best friend, the love of his life, and that he would never see it with life, or touch it, or kiss it, ever again. A bit macabre, but it was the harsh truth.
He was done crying. He wouldn't do it again.
At least that's what Louis told himself.
Harry's gravestone was simple, black granite with white flowers in the corners and white letters. It also had a Star of David and a cross next to each other on the top.
Harry Edward Styles
1994 - 2017
Son, brother, friend, lover.
"Sweet to the soul, health to the bones."
How many times had he read Harry's epitaph since he passed away, he can't remember, but it made his chest hurt every time. Harry didn't fucking deserve this.
"Good morning, love."
Meningococcal septicemia. Who would have thought? It takes you in the middle of the night, no warning, just boom. Dead. And there's nothing you can do about it, unless you're lucky enough to live in front of a hospital and you notice it on time.
Louis chuckled darkly, but grimaced.
"I went out with the lads yesterday. They miss you too."
A warm breeze swept Louis' fringe off his eyes. He was wearing jeans and a blazer over his white shirt. Louis suddenly noticed the weird harmony of his outfit, and let out a breath.
"Seems like your wardrobe really did rub off on me, Styles."
Louis wanted to laugh, he really did. But apparently his body had other plans. He was tired of being the cheerfull one, tired of pretending to be happy just to make everyone else relax, tired of pulling jokes out of nowhere to smoothen the atmoshpere. He didn't have to pretend here. He didn't need to pretend with Harry. Well, at least he used to, when he was alive.
Louis' eyes began to sting, but again he thought and said out loud, just for conviction, "I'm done crying."
Louis looked down at Harry's name.
It looked somberly back at him.
"God, I miss you..." Louis closed his eyes for a brief moment and actually managed to hold back his tears, "You weren't supposed to go. It's my fault, and I'm sorry."
Louis had thought, had imagined and fantasized, what would have happened if he had woken up just a little earlier. If he had checked on Harry as soon as he had woken up. If he had gone directly upstairs after going shopping, instead of wasting so much time in the goddamn kitchen.
Harry probably would be alive. He would have someone to watch Marvel movies with, someone to build pillow fortresses with when he wanted to, even if it was childish. Someone to kiss and touch and make love to every night under the light of the stars, eyes shining brighter than any of them ever would.
But now all that was gone. Louis fucked it all up.
It's not your fault... Harry would have said. And that is just painful. Fuck his brain.
I love you too...
Louis felt it in the sun, in the breeze, in the annoying butterflies that had come closer since he arrived.
Harry was here. He simply knew.
Louis looked up at the sky. For a moment he saw green instead of blue. That was just cruel... He closed his eyes, feeling his cheeks, his eyelids, his lips, being touched by the heat. He opened his mouth just enough to breathe in the sudden warmth that engulfed the air.
Harry kissed him back.
Louis smiled softly.
Knees on the floor, Louis placed a little bouquet of white and blue flowers with green leaves over Harry's grave, and walked away.