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Alex was attempting to finish a paper for her English class but was beyond unmotivated. As she stared blankly at the wall behind her desk, she could every last ounce of focus leave her. She was tempted to just close her laptop and take a nap, but before she could, the doorbell rang. Curious as to who it might be, she opened her door and walked towards the stairs. She heard her mom going towards the door and was going to let her get it before catching sight of the visitor through the window above their front door.
“Hey, mom. I’ll get it.” Making her way down the stairs, she shoos her mother away and opens the door. She is unsurprised by the sight on the other side but her heart breaks all the same. Standing on her doorstep, tears streaming down her face, is her best friend. She wordlessly steps forward and wraps the smaller girl in a hug. The two of them stand there until the smaller one finally pulls away.
“Do you wanna come inside? We can go up to my room.” A silent nod comes and, lacing their fingers together, Alex pulls her best friend to her bedroom, closing the door behind them to give them privacy. They sit on the bed, hands still intertwined, and Alex waits for the other girl to speak.
“I miss him, Lex. I miss him so much. I feel like I can’t breathe. How has it been four years?” Alex glances towards her calendar and curses to herself for not remembering what day it was. It had completely slipped her mind and suddenly, Kelley’s mood the past couple of days made a lot more sense.
“Why did it have to be him? What did he ever do to deserve it? He was a kid!” The tears are still falling, but Kelley’s eyes had a fire in them.
Alex doesn’t answer, couldn’t answer. She knows Kelley isn’t truly looking for an answer, at least not from her. They had had this conversation many times since Jerry had gotten sick. They always reached the same point of knowing that there was nothing within their power that could help the boy fight his battle. They knew the only thing they could provide was love, prayers, and support. But those things only go so far, only accomplish so much. Jerry’s health declined quickly and Kelley closed herself off just as quickly.
Knowing there was nothing she could say to comfort the other girl at the moment, Alex opted to wrap her arms around her instead. The two of them sat in silence as the tears continued to fall. Alex rubbed Kelley’s back soothingly and softly hummed the one song she knew would bring a little sliver of comfort to Kelley.
After a few moments, the younger girl speaks up, offering her support to her best friend.
“I’ve got you, Kel. I got you and I’m not letting go.”
“It’s not fair,” comes out muffled due to Kelley’s face being buried in Alex’s neck.
“It’s not,” she agrees. “It’s not fair at all. I’m sorry you had to take all of this on so young. Your strength is incredible.”
“I don’t feel strong. I feel...broken.”
“I know you do. But you’re not alone. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere, remember? You’re stuck with me for life.”
“Always and forever?”
"Always and forever.”
Kelley went to Stanford for college, leaving Alex behind in Peachtree City. The taller brunette was only a year younger than her best friend, but it felt like a lifetime being stuck in Georgia while Kelley was across the country. When Alex received her college acceptance letters, she saved Stanford for last. UCLA offered her a full-ride and their soccer program was impressive, but it was her fall back, in case Stanford said no. She got similar offers from Cal, UVA, and UNC. She opened her letter from Stanford, hands shaking. It wasn’t a full-ride, but it was enough for her to tell her parents she would be going to California in the fall.
She called Kelley immediately after telling her parents and told her best friend the news. Kelley was ecstatic, telling her all about the coaching staff and the girls who would be around the following year.
“Rumor has it we got a commit from Palos Verdes. Striker, faster than anyone in her school district.”
“You sound like you already have a crush on her,” she teases, ignoring the twinge in her stomach at the thought of Kelley dating someone. She had hoped her feelings for her best friend would fade when she moved across the country for school. She had not been so lucky.
“C’mon, Lex. You know you’ll always have my heart,” Kelley responds, only half-joking. The feelings she had had since her sophomore year had never truly dwindled. And now that Alex would be following her to Stanford, she didn’t want to make a wrong step.
“Always and forever?”
“Always and forever. No matter what.”
Alex smiled at that.
“Wait, what? You’re dating Kelley? Since when?”
Alex frowned at the shocked tone and look thrown her direction.
“Uh, yeah. Started dating right after the college cup my freshman year, so almost a year now. Is that a problem?”
“I just didn’t know there was anyone capable of pinning down Frat Daddy O’Hara.”
Alex’s frown deepened and she turned to fully face the other girl.
“I’m not ‘pinning her down’, Heath. I love her and she loves me.”
Tobin shrugs, an easy smile on her face. The older girl had transferred from UNC this year, claiming it was because she felt Stanford would suit her better. Alex suspected there was truth to that, but she also knew Tobin had a thing for Christen and had known Kelley through the youth international teams for a few years.
“Alright, chill, Al. I just didn’t know. Kelley never mentioned anything.”
“I’m sorry we didn’t hold a press conference to reveal our relationship,” Alex rolls her eyes. “The team knows and the coaches know. That’s all that matters.”
Tobin studies her for a moment.
“So how’d she do it?”
“Do what?”
The older girl’s smile grows.
“Get a girl like you.”
“Careful, Heath. Don’t let Christen hear you; she’ll think you’re flirting with me.”
Tobin waves her off.
“Come on, tell me. How’d she do it?”
“She didn’t ‘do’ anything. She was always just herself and that’s something I admire in a person.”
Tobin hums in response.
“You’ve known her since high school, yeah?”
Alex nods, unsure where this is going.
“So why did it take so long for you guys to get together?”
“I can’t speak for Kel. I’ve loved her since I was fourteen, but I was scared. Georgia isn’t always the best place to express yourself or your identity. And I was afraid of losing her as a friend.”
“Fourteen? Seems a little young.”
Alex’s eyes narrow slightly. She was used to people questioning her when they heard her say that. They would argue she had been too young, that she hadn’t known how to truly love someone like that yet. Alex disagreed, arguing that her understanding of love grew and morphed as she grew older and experienced more, but maintained that she loved Kelley at fourteen.
“I loved her at fourteen. Maybe not to the degree I do now because I was very young. But I loved her and I still do.”
Tobin’s hands raise in surrender, the smile still on her face.
“Ok, fair enough. Speaking of Kelley, where is she?”
“Captains meeting with the coaches. I’m waiting for her so we can go home. What exactly are you doing here?”
“Meeting. Coach wants to know how my first couple of pre-season workouts have gone.”
The office door opens and Kelley walks out, still talking with her co-captains. She sees Alex and her eyes light up before glancing at Tobin.
“Tobes, you better not be bothering my girl.”
“Dude, I didn’t even know she was your girl til, like, ten minutes ago.”
“Hm, sounds like a you problem.” Kelley walks up and wraps an arm around Alex’s waist, placing a kiss on the younger girl’s cheek.
“Ready to go, babe?” Alex nods and leans down to grab her bag, but Kelley beats her to it. As they leave, Alex glances back at Tobin who is watching the two of them carefully. Alex smiles and Tobin shoots one back, though her eyes remain curious. Alex brushes it off, knowing the other girl is probably questioning how she hadn’t picked up on the relationship sooner.
“Alex, you need to think about your future.”
“I am thinking about my future. My whole future.”
She hears her dad sigh over the phone and can imagine him rubbing his temple as he tries to think of a way to explain his thought process to her. But she doesn’t want to hear it. Kelley was preparing to enter the draft and was highly rumored to be a first-round pick. Alex’s dad was worried she would try to follow the older girl wherever she went, or, even worse, that Kelley would be picked by a team across the country and their relationship wouldn’t survive the distance.
“Look, sweetheart,” he sighs again. “You know I just want what’s best for you. I don’t want you sacrificing your chances, your career, for a relationship that might not last.”
Alex scoffs.
“Nice to have a supportive family.”
“Alex-”
“We’ve been dating for two years, and best friends for even longer. The draft isn’t going to change that.”
She hears the familiar sound of keys jingling in the lock and the door opening. Deciding she would much rather talk to her girlfriend about the excitement of the draft, she uses it as an excuse to get off the phone with her dad. She tells him she loves him and reminds him that she and Kelley will see them soon before hanging up and wandering out of the bedroom.
“Hey, sunshine. Who were you talking to?”
“Oh, it was just Dad. Nothing important.”
She sits on the couch and watches her girlfriend move around the kitchen humming some country song Alex didn’t know the words to but recognized. She doesn’t really realize she is staring until Kelley speaks without turning around.
“I can feel you staring at me.”
“What can I say? I love admiring art.”
Kelley throws her head back in laughter and Alex’s heart flutters. No matter how long they have known each other, how many times she’s heard that laugh, she doesn’t think she will ever tire of hearing it.
“Hey, Kel?”
“Yes, dear?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, sunshine.”
Alex smiles.
Kelley is the second-overall draft pick, being picked up by Sky Blue FC. Alex’s heart sinks a little when she realizes this means Kelley will once again be moving across the country and leave her behind for the second time. She smiles though, can’t help it, when Kelley’s eyes light up with excitement when she gets the news. Alex knows it is out of the older girl’s control.
“I’m so proud of you, Kel. Don’t forget about me when you’re off scoring all those goals in Jersey.”
“I could never forget you, Lex.” Kelley kisses her and Alex tries to keep the tears from falling, but her body refuses to listen to her.
“Hey hey. What’s wrong?”
“I’m gonna miss you. And you’re going to be across the country, with a wack schedule. And I...I was really hoping you would be closer. I wanted you to come to my final home opener, my senior night, my last home game…” she trails off, feeling guilty when she sees the sadness in Kelley’s eyes.
“I may not be there physically,” the older one speaks slowly, “but I’ll always be there.” She taps Alex’s heart.
Alex takes a shaky deep breath. “Always and forever?”
“Always and forever, my love.”
Alex is warming up with Christen, lofting each other long passes across the pitch. She is happy, but there is a twinge of sadness. Tonight is her senior night and Kelley wasn’t here. The older girl had felt awful, telling her she couldn’t make it. Alex had told her it was okay, but it still hurt. She didn’t blame her girlfriend, she just really missed her. She spotted her parents and sisters in the stands and offered a smile and a wave to them.
The seniors lined up for their walkouts. Alex stood at the back of the line, behind Christen, holding her mother’s hand on her left and looping her right arm through her father’s. She felt a bittersweet joy as she heard the announcer say her name and walked out with her parents. The announcer read her short bio, gave some stats, and read her short thank you note directed to her parents and coaches. At the end, he said something Alex definitely hadn’t written.
“Alex, please turn around.”
Her brows furrowed in confusion and she looked between her parents who were both beaming at her. Still confused, she turned around and audibly gasped at the sight before her. Standing in front of and smirking slightly was Kelley. The older girl was in her Sky Blue warm-ups, meaning she had likely caught her flight straight after leaving practice and had come straight to the stadium.
“Hey, sunshine.”
“Kelley. You-I-you’re...you’re here,” she finally gets out and launches herself at her girlfriend who laughs as she holds her.
“Couldn’t miss your senior night, now could I?”
“I thought you were stuck in Jersey.”
Kelley shrugged like it was no big deal. “Coach and I worked something out.”
“I thought you weren’t allowed to leave suddenly if it wasn’t for, like, a funeral or a spouse.”
Kelley’s smirk turns into a smile.
“She said she’d accept the loophole of a future spouse.”
“Wait, wha-? A future spouse?” Alex is fumbling over her words as her brain tries to comprehend and Kelley goes down on one knee.
“I love you, Lex. I have for a long time. There is no one else I would rather spend my life with. You are my everything and I want to spend every day of the rest of my life loving you with my whole heart.” Kelley flashes a small smile and Alex gasps again when she sees the ring.
“So, what do you say, sunshine? Will you marry me?” Alex can’t speak but nods repeatedly before pulling Kelley to her feet and kissing her. The older girl breaks the kiss to slip the ring on her finger before kissing her again.
“I love you, Lex.”
“Always and forever?”
“Always and forever.”