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Jiang Cheng is nervous and his wardrobe isn’t offering any help.
Lan Xichen only knows him in suits and formal wear, thanks to their jobs, so picking something else, something more relaxed and casual, is more difficult than Jiang Cheng thought it would be.
And he wants to choose something nice, wants to impress Lan Xichen as best as he can.
Jiang Cheng likes the man, respects him even more, and it would suck if his choice of clothes ruins every chance he maybe ever had.
Jiang Cheng sighs as he continues to stare in his wardrobe and not for the first time he wishes Yanli was still there. She would know what to wear.
The thought stings, like always, even nine years after her death, and Jiang Cheng shakes his head in an attempt to clear his mind.
“You’re going out,” Jin Ling suddenly says from the doorway and Jiang Cheng whirls around. “You’re going out with him.”
“With who?” Jiang Cheng asks because he is certain he hasn’t told Jin Ling about his date today.
“The guy you keep talking about, Lan Xichen.”
Okay, maybe he has been talking more about Lan Xichen than he normally does about his work relationships.
“Yes, we’re going out,” Jiang Cheng admits, because he’s not about to start to lie to his nephew.
“I don’t want you to,” Jin Ling says and stubbornly looks at the floor, but Jiang Cheng sees how he wrings his hands, and Jiang Cheng immediately softens.
“Come here, kiddo,” he says and sits down on the bed as he pats the spot next to him.
Jin Ling shuffles over, but he hesitates before he sits down and Jiang Cheng already has half a mind to cancel the date if this is how Jin Ling reacts to it.
Jiang Cheng slings his arm around Jin Ling when he does finally sit down and then presses a kiss to his head.
“Tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t want you to,” Jin Ling repeats and Jiang Cheng nods.
“Okay, but what did we learn about emotions?” he asks, because this is hardly an explanation.
“Always try to express them in a coherent manner,” Jin Ling recites, and Jiang Cheng squeezes him.
He never thought he would be the one to teach someone how to adequately handle their own emotions, but being the sudden parental figure for his orphaned nephew has done wonders for Jiang Cheng’s own emotional growth.
Yanli would be so proud of him.
“So try again. What’s going on?”
“You’re going on a date with a guy you like, and he’s going to like you, too,” Jin Ling says as if he couldn’t even fathom any other outcome for this and Jiang Cheng is touched at his nephew’s confidence in him. “So you’ll go on more dates, and you’re gonna forget all about me,” Jin Ling quietly goes on. “And then I’ll be alone.”
Jiang Cheng can hear the tears in Jin Ling’s voice so he simply picks his nephew up and settles him down in his own lap.
Normally Jin Ling would protest, he thinks he’s too old for something like this already, but today he clings to Jiang Cheng.
“That won’t happen,” Jiang Cheng tells him but Jin Ling shakes his head.
“It will, you’ll like him better than me, and he won’t like me, and then you won’t like me anymore either.”
Jiang Cheng has to swallow against the tears and wonders just how much pain the death of his parents can still cause all of them, even after all of these years.
“Oh, kiddo,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and pulls him even closer. “I would never leave you behind, not voluntarily, and especially not for another relationship.”
“But you like him,” Jin Ling says.
“It doesn’t matter. You have always been my first priority and you always will be,” Jiang Cheng seriously tells him, because nothing in his life will ever be as important as Jin Ling.
“What if he doesn’t like kids?”
“The moment that sentence leaves his mouth, I will already be out there. It’s not an option for my partner to not like kids.”
“What if he just doesn’t like me?” Jin Ling asks, voice even smaller than before and Jiang Cheng drops a kiss on his head.
“It’s even less of an option for my partner to not like you. If I introduce you to him and he doesn’t like you, then he’ll have to go,” Jiang Cheng reassures him. “Same goes the other way around as well. If you don’t like him, you’ll tell me and he’ll be gone.”
“Promise?” Jin Ling asks and he looks up at Jiang Cheng, eyes as big as if he was still four, and Jiang Cheng melts at the sight.
“I promise,” he solemnly says and holds out his pinky for Jin Ling to tuck his own in. “Pinky promise, even.”
“Okay,” Jin Ling softly says, and he seems a lot more relaxed than he did a few minutes ago.
“Now, do you want to help me choose an outfit?” Jiang Cheng asks and Jin Ling immediately brightens up.
“It has to have something purple and gold,” he declares and jumps off Jiang Cheng’s lap to tear apart the wardrobe, looking for the perfect outfit.
Jiang Cheng can’t do anything but watch him fondly.
There truly won’t ever be anything as important as Jin Ling to him.
~*~*~
The date isn’t going as well as Jiang Cheng hoped it would. He knows the reason on his side; he’s reluctant to open up to Lan Xichen as long as he doesn’t get it out there that Jin Ling is in his life, but it feels like Lan Xichen is holding back himself, and Jiang Cheng doesn’t know the reason for that.
Conversation is stilted and awkward at times, and it’s making Jiang Cheng itch to just get up and leave. He doesn’t even know if it’s worth it, telling Lan Xichen about Jin Ling.
But that was his only big goal today, and he figures fumbling their way through salad and the main course is long enough.
“There’s actually I something I wanted to tell you,” Jiang Cheng starts and while Lan Xichen has avoided looking at him for the most time so far, his eyes do snap towards him immediately.
“I have something to say myself,” Lan Xichen says with a nod, “but please, do go on.”
Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at Lan Xichen, wonders what he could probably want to say, before he concentrates on himself again.
“I have a son,” Jiang Cheng says and then immediately amends his statement. “Well, I have a nephew, but I adopted him when his parents died.”
“Oh, thank the gods,” Lan Xichen breathes out and Jiang Cheng bristles with indignation.
“Excuse me?” he demands to know and Lan Xichen quickly raises his hands.
“I didn’t mean that about his parents, I am terribly sorry for your loss, but this makes it a lot easier. I have a son myself,” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng can do nothing but stare at him.
“Well, not a son, more of a distant cousin, but I adopted him when his parents decided they just weren’t ready to care for a child. Jingyi is ten now.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jiang Cheng says under his breath and then laughs. “Jin Ling is nine.”
“I wanted to tell you at the beginning of this, but then I missed the chance and things were quite awkward at first, don’t you think?” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng has to laugh again.
“They really were,” he easily agrees. “But I think they were because I was holding back, same as you, I would think.”
“Yes. I was worried. I’m sorry to say but you don’t strike me as a guy who likes kids, and that’s just unacceptable to me.”
“I’m not a big fan of a gaggle of them. I love Jin Ling, he’s the most important person in my life, and always will be.”
“The same goes for Jingyi.”
“As long as we can agree on that, I think the rest of this date should go fine,” Jiang Cheng says, but he’s making it more of a question than anything.
He’s not certain if Lan Xichen wants to try and save this date.
“I would say the same,” Lan Xichen immediately agrees and throws Jiang Cheng a truly blinding smile.
Jiang Cheng is looking forward to the rest of this date.
~*~*~
This is the final test. Jiang Cheng has met Jingyi, and Lan Xichen has met Jin Ling, and while both of these went fine—neither boy has demanded an immediate break—the boys themselves have yet to meet.
And if they hate each other on sight, Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen will call it off, they have agreed on that.
Even though Jiang Cheng really, really doesn’t want to call it off.
He likes Lan Xichen, more than he has thought he would, and he will be quite sad if Jin Ling can’t stand Jingyi.
“What do you think is happening?” Lan Xichen asks, leaning his shoulder against Jiang Cheng’s and twining their fingers together.
He’s just as nervous as Jiang Cheng is.
“I have no fucking clue,” Jiang Cheng sighs and continues to observe Jin Ling and Jingyi.
They are just standing there, in the middle of the living-room, staring at each other, and with each passing second that nothing happens, Jiang Cheng’s heart drops lower.
It’s not looking good.
Finally, Jin Ling huffs and turns towards Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen.
“I ask for a puppy and this is what I get?” he wants to know and Jingyi immediately bristles at his words.
“Hey,” he almost yells. “It’s not like I asked for you, either.”
Jin Ling and Jingyi glare at each other again, and Jiang Cheng completely deflates.
This won’t work.
He gently untangles his fingers from Lan Xichen’s grasp, who looks almost as heartbroken as Jiang Cheng feels, and he beckons Jin Ling over, who completely ignores him in favor of staring Jingyi down.
Eventually both of them nod, and then they leave for Jin Ling’s room.
Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen share a confused look before they follow their boys. They find them playing together, Jin Ling proudly showing off his toys and Jingyi trash-talking most of them, but it looks like Jin Ling is not taking offence to that. At least not as much as Jiang Cheng knows he usually does.
“What just happened?” Lan Xichen whispers, careful not to disturb the boys but Jiang Cheng has no fucking clue, so he just shrugs and pulls Lan Xichen back into the living-room.
“Let’s not question it,” he decides and leans up to kiss Lan Xichen. “It’s better to enjoy it for the gift it is.”
“Alright,” Lan Xichen agrees with a smile and cups Jiang Cheng’s face in his hands, pulling him into another kiss.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng hasn’t been in bed long, when his door suddenly gets pushed open and a very disheveled Jin Ling pokes into his room.
Jiang Cheng is anything but surprised; changes always leave Jin Ling unable to sleep, and he honestly expected this to happen.
“Come here, kiddo,” Jiang Cheng says and Jin Ling immediately runs over to crawl into bed with Jiang Cheng.
He cuddles close but Jiang Cheng can tell that he wants to say something.
“Just spit it out,” he softly tells him and Jin Ling turns big eyes on him.
“Are you happy?” he asks and Jiang Cheng has to swallow against the rush of emotions.
“Are you?” he gives the question back, because it doesn’t matter what happens in his life, as long as Jin Ling is happy, that’s all Jiang Cheng needs.
Jin Ling takes his time to think about that question, but eventually he nods.
“I like Jingyi,” he whispers, like it’s a confession he never dared to make before, and Jiang Cheng knows it’s because he’s scared.
Jin Ling was never good at making friends.
“That’s good,” Jiang Cheng tells him as he drops a kiss to his head.
“But are you happy as well?” Jin Ling wants to know and Jiang Cheng allows himself to smile.
“I’m happy as long as you are happy,” he tells him but Jin Ling pouts at Jiang Cheng.
“No, no, no,” he says. “Are you happy with Xichen?”
“Yes, I am, kiddo,” Jiang Cheng says softly, because he is.
He knows there will be some bumps up ahead, he doubts the boys will always get along well, but Jiang Cheng never dared to hope for something like this, for someone like Lan Xichen in his life, so it’s already better than ever before.
“Good,” Jin Ling whispers and tucks himself into Jiang Cheng’s side, asleep before he even settles completely, and Jiang Cheng can only stare at him, hopelessly fond.
Nothing will ever be as important to him than Jin Ling, but now Jiang Cheng dares to hope that Lan Xichen and Jingyi will get close.
He wouldn’t mind a bigger family, after all.