Work Text:
Noriaki going blind was something that Jotaro had expected. It was a depressing inevitability; and the thin scar lines that crossed his eyes served as a constant reminder of that fact.
What he hadn't expected, was how it happened so slowly. It started with him being forced to wear glasses. Noriaki said he liked them, but Jotaro knew better. The prescription for them only got stronger and stronger, and Noriaki's smile faltered more and more with each visit to the optometrist. Eventually his sight degraded to the point where he could barely get around by himself; but he could still make out the features of his husband, even if only a little. Of course, this was only a temporary peace; and as the enchanting gold faded from Noriaki's eyes, his liveliness faded with it. It was devastating to Jotaro, watching Noriaki suffer like this, and being powerless to stop it. Even if it was an inevitability, the fact that all he could do was sit idly by and watch the light and sight disperse from the person he loved most kept him up at night just as much as the traumatic nightmares of that night.
It was awoken from one of those nightmares that he found himself currently, cold beads of sweat winding their way down his face and mingling with the tears that he didn't know he was crying. This nightmare was of a slightly different time, in a slightly different place; and Jotaro wasn't sure if the sweat was from his fear or the sticky heat of the Egyptian desert. He could still feel the sun beating on his back, still sense the prickling feeling that something was wrong as the desert lay all too still and silent, still hear Noriaki's scream as his eyes were slashed by—
Jotaro exhaled a shuddering breath, clearing his thoughts of the still painful memories. The bed creaked under his weight as he shifted to a sitting position, having the intent to get a glass of water but not having the drive to get up. He elected to sigh instead, holding his head in his shaky hands as he tried to steady his quickened pulse.
"Jojo?"
He cursed to himself as the other side of the bed shifted, indicating that Noriaki had both awoken and shifted to acknowledge his husband. There was a touch on the small of his back, feather-light and uncertain, as if Noriaki was afraid that he was going to break Jotaro if he was too rough.
"I'm fine. I just had a nightmare. Go back to sleep, Nori."
His tone was coarser than he had meant it to be, his still sleep-drunk and husky voice only adding to this. The touch on the small of his back became a more firm arm around his waist, insistently dragging Jotaro back down to rest on Noriaki's stomach. He stroked his hair gently, letting his fingers wind up in the thick black curls as if it were instinct rather than intent. Jotaro sighed at the contact, letting his thoughts drift a bit to better times. It reminded him of the nights they spent cooped up in some foreign hotel room, watching movies in a language neither of them understood to try to ease the pain of their uncertain tomorrows. As long as Noriaki couldn't see him crying, he was fine with being cuddled like this. But soon his spindly fingers began to drift down to Jotaro's face, and his pulse quickened as Noriaki's touch expressed what his words could not: deep rooted concern.
"Jojo..." he murmured solemnly, running a thumb across Jotaro's cheek. "You were crying."
"I was, but I'm not, anymore, it's okay—"
"You were crying." Noriaki repeated, serving more as a firm ultimatum than a simple statement. "What was the nightmare about?"
"I... You, getting attacked by N'Doul. But I..."
He couldn't help but to be honest, not with Noriaki being this stern with him and his own craving for comfort collectively drowning him in a sea of emotion. What he could do, however, was leave out the important details. Noriaki didn't need to know about Jotaro picking up his limp body to find his eye sockets empty like the void. Noriaki didn't need to know about how Jotaro had wept over him, wishing that it was his own sight instead of his lover's. Noriaki didn't need to know how much Jotaro loathed that it wasn't him that was blind at the moment.
"You miss me being able to see, don't you?"
He didn't need to know, and yet he sensed Jotaro's entire thought process from his initial statement. It irritated him, sometimes; the way Noriaki was almost psychic. No matter how thick of a blockade Jotaro put up to conceal his emotions, Noriaki would always bust through as if the wall weren't there at all.
The creak of a mattress, the shift of weight beneath him, and the pressing of ghostly soft lips to his temple broke him out of his spell. Noriaki had sat up completely to kiss him.
"Just because I can't see you doesn't mean I don't remember everything about you." he pressed another soft kiss in between his eyebrows, to his nose, to the corner of his lips, trailing his way down to the dip of his collarbone. "The way your brows knit when you get upset, the crinkle of your nose when you laugh... I remember it all, Jotaro. And while it pains me to not be able to see you, I at least have the memories to tide me over."
Jotaro stayed silent, fighting back tears. The moonlight streaming through the window of their bedroom played across Noriaki's face, throwing his features into sharp relief. It highlighted the smidgen of gold still left in his eyes; and for a moment, Jotaro was his seventeen year old self. He was his seventeen year old self, and he was couped up in a Singaporean hotel room with Noriaki, and the heat of the other's honey dark gaze pinned him to the tiny hotel bed as he snuck his hands up and into Jotaro's shirt. He was his seventeen year old self, fresh out of battle as that same gaze chastised him for being so reckless. Jotaro was his seventeen year old self, and for that moment, Noriaki was too. They were both seventeen, young, confused, and blessed with the sole solace of having each other for support despite the factors that had pushed them together. In that moment of nostalgic introspection, Jotaro had come to peace; not just with Noriaki's lack of sight, but his own insecurities as well.
"Jojo? Don't tell me you've fallen asleep that quickly." his husband chided jokingly, pressing another delicate kiss to his forehead.
"I'm still awake." he responded, catching Noriaki's face in a gentle caress, his fingers tangling into his wine dark locks. "Just thinking."
"About what? Don't tell me you're still caught up in this whole nightmare mess."
"Not particularly."
Jotaro sat up and shifted to straddle Noriaki, his hands still curled up tightly in his hair. Noriaki brought his own hands up to gingerly rest on his face, and Jotaro tipped forward to plant his own kisses onto his husband.
"What are you doing, Jojo?" Noriaki breathed out a laugh, his cheeks tinged an endearingly light shade of pink.
"Appreciating you." Jotaro huffily said, trailing his embrace down to Noriaki's throat. "What of it?"
"I was just wondering." he hummed in response. Jotaro could feel the buzz of that hum and the quickening of his pulse against the give of his lips; and as he begun to dip down below Noriaki's collarbone, a smile played itself across those same lips at the familiarity despite the darkness of the room. It was a glimpse into Noriaki's newfound world, and for once, Jotaro welcomed this reality with open arms.
