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If Tavros has no other option than to be stuck sitting with this taller and meaner version of Feferi, than he figures he’s better off dramatically gazing into the distance. One of the best things about being dead (other than having his legs back) is having no pupils. He can look anywhere, and no one will have a clue what it is he’s really focusing on.
This genius game plan should be able to get him through the absence of his sort-of-of matesprit and her dancestor. Meenah, the troll next to him, had been paid to stay behind with him. Vriska’s dancestor apparently wanted more time to bond. Tavros couldn’t help but notice the younger Serket roll her eyes the moment Aranea looked the other way.
Since their departure, Meenah has been staring at Tavros. Her eyes are white as well, but through his peripherals he can feel her gaze, and there is nothing worth looking at in his direction with the exception of endless sand. While Tavros never found sand interesting, maybe seadwellers like her have an affinity for desert and beach settings.
Although he hasn’t yet turned his head to face her, he swears she has some kind of an evil grin plastered on her face that makes his skin crawl.
“Hey buoy,” she says casually, and he figures that he can feign ignorance by not responding.
It doesn’t work.
“You deaf? Buoy with the fuckin’ huge bass horns.”
He turns his head toward her, finally.
“Me?”
“Yeah, who the fuck else would I be talkin’ to?”
He shrugs, maintaining his composure. “Maybe. The sand. Or someone I haven’t really. Seen yet.”
“What, do you fink I’m fuckin’ cray or somefin?” Her eyebrows narrow, and his muscles tense up.
“Uh, no,” he says with a frown. “But it’s possible, I guess.”
“Talkin’ to sand? Someone pike me? That’s straight up offensive, kid.”
Tavros nervously scratches the back of his head. “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m-“
Before he can finish, she cackles, and he freezes in place.
“You got any idea how fuckin’ pale you look right now? It’s GILLARIOUS.”
“What?”
“GILLARIOUS. Jeez, Lil’ Ruf, get with the fuckin’ program, aight?”
“It would help, maybe,” he says with a pause. “If I knew what the program was. In the first place.”
“Cod, you uptight, ain’t you?” she says, sitting down on the sand and shaking her head. “Clam down and sit down.”
He remains standing. Nowadays, he isn’t answering to anyone. “I’m fine. Up here.”
“Buoy, I said sit down.”
Tavros sits down immediately, but loses his balance in the process and lands awkwardly on his leg. Meenah laughs again.
“So you and Lil’ Serks, huh?” she says, wiggling her eyebrows at him and poking him in the arm.
He holds his arm protectively and makes a face. “That depends on. What you’re talking about. The two of us doing.”
She narrows her eyes and pokes him again. “Man, you know sassy isn’t a good hook for you at all. It suits you terribubbley. You tryin’ too hard. I’m talkin’ about you two bein’ all waterebber you are. Some quadrant shit happenin’ up there that I don’t even understand. Makos no glubbin’ sense if you ask me.”
“Yes, she is my girlfriend, if that is what you are saying,” he says, adjusting his position so that he is indeed sitting tall. There should be no confusion in assessing his insurmountable confidence.
“Ooh, tell me aboat it, what’s it pike to date a blubbermouth?”
“Well, her cheeks aren’t that fat. So.”
Meenah busts out laughing, keeling over and holding her stomach. “Cod, you’re keelin’ me over here, mini Nitram. I mean what’s it pike to date someone so annoyingly chatty, stupid.”
“Oh.” He feels a blush approach his cheeks. No, he will not allow her to make him feel inferior. He has confidence now. The key to confidence is saying what is really on his mind. With Vriska gone for the moment, he is technically free to say whatever he wants without her knowing. “Frustrating. But also good. She can be really mean. Sometimes. But she’s pretty, too. And sometimes she can be not exactly mean.”
She grins at him again, and he tenses.
“Sounds pike she’s baitin’ you good and then keepin’ you hooked just to drag you around.”
Tavros shrugs. “I wonder about that a lot. I mean, if she’s keeping me hooked. And baiting me. Or whatever you said. Aranea seems much nicer.”
Meenah cackles again. “You’re funny, you’re reel funny. Aranea ain’t nice. Trust me, that gill has plenty problems all over the place. Sure, she doesn’t do as much shellin’ and screamin’, but just ‘cause she ain’t blunt doesn’t mean she’s nice.”
“So you’re not friends with her?”
She spits, giving him an incredulous look. “Of course I’m friends with her. Gill’s smart, but the best part is gettin’ her all riled up for no reason watersoebber.”
“Uh, what?”
“WHAT-SO-EVER! Cod!” She scowls at him for a moment. “Anemoneway, here’s the fin. We fronds ‘cause I can get her all outta sorts, and it’s gillarious. Plus, someone’s gotta tell her to clam up sometines. I mean have you HEARD her talk? It’s like some fuckin’ never-ending high-fished noise.”
Tavros can’t help but laugh at that. She smirks at him when he does.
“Sea, bull buoy. All you gotta do is lighten up a bite. It’s ocray to talk shit sometines. Or all the tine. Just gotta be all strategic.”
“Yeah,” he says with a nod. “I guess it is. Kind of nice, I mean.” A smile forms at his lips.
“I sea-n the way she talks to you though. Reely takes her tine to swim all over you and you just let her.” She pokes her fingers in the sand absentmindedly. “Not pike I give a shit in the first place, but you don’t gotta do that.”
“If I tell her no, I usually end up saying yes, because she makes me eel bad.” Meenah’s mouth opens in pure admiration. He smiles. “Or stupid. Even if I don’t agree with half of what she says, or the fact that I know this whole treasure hunt thing is a really stupid idea.” He gazes down at the sand below, sifting through the grains with his hands and watching them fall.
“Aranea can get the same way, but I nebber let her boss me around. If I wanna do somefin, I do it. I don’t do waterebber she shells me to.” She tilts her head. “You ebber fink of endin’ fins with her? Pike callin’ it quits?”
Tavros takes a deep breath. “Sometimes, I guess. I just don’t know how. I don’t know where to go if I do, anyway.”
“You know what I’d do?”
“What?”
“I’d make a big ass scene. Just give her some of these.” She raises her middle fingers on both hands. “Call her some horribubble name, and just peace on out of there. Mako her regret everyfin she’s done to you. And don’t come back.”
Tavros finds himself smiling at the idea. What a way to leave Vriska. If he’s honest with himself, he isn’t sure if his self-esteem truly measures up. If he could do something like that, it would be the biggest accomplishment of his life.
“I wish I could do that, it seems pretty…bad ass.”
“You BET it’s bad bass!” she says. “And if it makos you happy, who the glub cares? I’ve sean Aranea do some p cool tell-offs when she’s mad, sometimes with me, heh! But hers are way too wordy, I like ‘em short and sweet.”
“What does she say to you?”
Meenah laughs again. “I don’t fuckin’ know, somefin like, ‘Meenah, do you hear what you’re glubbin’ sayin? I ain’t listenfin to you at all but I’ma just keep runnin’ my mouth ‘til you can’t hear anymore and tell you all this borin’ shit no one wants to listen to as punfishment!’”
She stops suddenly as if she’s distracted, and then she looks back at him. “Let me hear your best Lil Serks.”
Tavros hesitantly starts, but once he gets going, he’s on a roll.
“Taaaaaaaavros! She says my name like that, too, I think she is trying to make sounds of, exactly eight A’s. Stop being so LAME, Tavros! Are you done being USELESS? I think if I use this tone you’ll do whatever I want, because I’m so cool, but I’m really not! I’m mean and pushy and-“
His face heats up the moment he turns his head to see none other than Vriska and Aranea, standing there with perfectly matching disgusted looks. Meenah, on the other hand, is on her back, rolling around in laughter.
“-and really pretty.”
Tavros swallows.