Chapter Text
Oshino Ougi is Oshino Ougi.
You might have heard that phrase spoken by another mouth of mine, or read it written by another hand of mine. It's a backhanded, teasing kind of name, a confusing and ambiguous kind of name, which fits me perfectly.
Oshino Ougi is Oshino Ougi.
In other words, zero equals zero. A seemingly pointless equation that could solve only the most abstract of problems. A redundant and awkward sentence. Because the result is zero, no one needs to bother with it, except of course for mathematicians, who love to dwell on lofty abstracts.
Zero is, by its nature, abstract and incomprehensible. There's no way to imagine it properly, because it isn't anything. It exists only in the realm of the theoretical.
However, it is familiar, if only to a very limited extent. Because we use it in our daily lives, we can just think of it as 'nothing,' or 'an absence.' Zero isn't too frightening to contemplate from a layman’s perspective, certainly not compared to infinity.
So I am not zero. Just like I am not the "darkness." I do have an identity. I am a person.
Oshino Ougi is Oshino Ougi.
You could say that I am the reflection of Araragi Koyomi, and you would be correct. You could say that I am Araragi Koyomi himself, and you would be correct. But that no longer constitutes the fullness of my being. Because of a meddlesome cat, the "lie" of my identity came undone. Rather than a fabrication with no basis, I became Oshino Ougi, niece to Oshino Meme.
It's not unlike Pinocchio becoming a real boy.
My singular objective in life, the reason I was born, has concluded. I'm no longer someone who can define myself entirely by my motivations. Because there is "truth" to me now, I exist regardless of whether I have a reason to exist. A classic human conundrum.
Oshino Ougi is Oshino Ougi.
So, I can no longer define my existence completely based on Araragi Koyomi. I am still him, and he is still me. But he is also him, and I am also me. Something like a Venn diagram, perhaps-- that little bit sticking out from the majority is all that I am.
Whether it was a good idea or not, I am no longer just an 'Oddity,' or just Araragi Koyomi. I am a person. Oshino Ougi is no longer a null value.
When I rule out so many things to define myself by, I'm left with that seemingly meaningless tautology once again, bouncing around in the recesses of my mind.
So, class, get out your pencils. It’s time for a pop quiz; don’t worry, there’s only one problem to solve.
Oshino Ougi is not zero.
Solve for Oshino Ougi.
Don’t forget to show your work.